Who Are You? – Love and Hate #9


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Why the 60s happened:

After WWII the GIs came home and started families.  The US exploded in production and manufacturing, construction, innovation, and standard of living.  The depression was over, the war was over.  Deprivation was behind them. Now they could have nice things, go nice places on nice roads. All of which was great. But that lead to a desire to not stand out, unless it was to stand out as the best and the brightest. But certainly not to stand out as odd or eccentric.

But the truth was many of those people were faking it.  They didn’t really live these great lives full of fashion and money and grace and charm. They looked like they did, but not inside. Their outsides said one thing and their insides said another. Maybe the outside said dutiful housewife, but the inside said thwarted creative. Maybe the outside said successful businessman but the inside said thwarted outdoorsman.  The point isn’t about the specifics though, it’s about leading an disingenuous life.  It’s about not having who you present yourself to be matching who you really are.

Thank a Hippie

And so the people who saw this first hand, saw the hypocrisy and the pain it caused, who saw the thwarted lives, who saw the waste of trying to fit in, rebelled against it.  Those people were the children of those adults trying to fit in.  they became the beatniks, the hippies, the yippies (look it up) the flower children, the radicals. They became the ones promoting love, peace, creativity, freedom. They were the ones that said you could be who you want to be, not who you think others want you to be.

Even though we are 40-50 years removed from that era, if you feel that you are genuinely who you want to be, you have a hippie to thank for it.  Maybe not directly, but in our modern world, it started with them. And if you don’t feel you are who you want to be, if you feel you are putting on a facade that isn’t really you, then take a lesson from the hippies and take a small step out into the unknown and see if you can’t do it too.  You can you know.

Drawing and commentary © Marty Coleman | napkindad.com

Quote by André Gide, 1869-1951, French author


The Culture Cure – Love and Hate #8


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What do I mean by Culture?

I mean a society’s pursuit, desire, and support for a high level of creative expression in all arenas of society. What I don’t mean is an exclusionary or elite culture that feels itself to be superior or better than another one.

Why do I believe this high level of culture means less anger and violence? Because a high culture is one a society is proud of and invested in.  That means they don’t want it destroyed. They don’t want it diminished. They don’t want it to disappear. They have created something that brings joy, interest, wonder, humor, fun, discovery. Something that makes one think and allows for a thinking response. They learn and grow from it. In other words, they love it.

I do not believe we, as an overall society, have a culture like that at this time.

Why not?

Well, it’s like the very true variation on the old quote. “Grass is always greener…where you water it.”  The truth is we ourselves are responsible for the cultural grass being dry and dead.  How so?

  • We contribute to it by not buying real art from real artists.
  • We contribute to it when we are more interested in judging creative expression than we are in understanding it.
  • We contribute to it by not speaking up when ugly buildings are built and when streets are filled with chain store after chain restaurant.
  • We contribute to it by not caring or being involved in city and town planning.
  • We contribute to it when we agree to the cutting of arts budgets from public schools.
  • We contribute to it by watching violence and mayhem as entertainment again and again and again.
  • We contribute to it by decrying any use of public funds for creative endeavors.
  • We contribute to it by not reading.
  • We contribute to it by not being interested in other cultures.

In other words, to use a variation on another famous quote, “For culture to disappear, all it takes is for good people to do nothing.”

Drawing and commentary © 2016 Marty Coleman | napkindad.com

Quote by Johanne Wolfgang Von Goethe, 1749 – 1832, German writer

Portrait Of Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe In The Country Painting by Johann Heinrich Wilhelm Tischbein; Portrait Of Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe In The Country Art Print for sale

Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe In The Country –  by Johann Heinrich Wilhelm Tischbein


The Lesser Ways of Hate – Love and Hate #7


Heartbreaking – 

Some of the saddest reports I read in the newspaper each day (yep, I read the paper) are the ones about a mother and father being arrested for child neglect. They break my heart just as much as some much more violent reports.  Why is that?

Big Hate – 

We often see hate on display these days in terrorist attacks, violent protests, angry authority figures, politics and murder. You may even have hate spewed at you personally once in a while. Hate is not that hard to spot, is it.

Small Hate – 

But hate isn’t just the loud mouth, the siren, the volcano. It’s also the indifference of one group for another in pain. It’s the neglect a society shows towards the weakest or most vulnerable. It’s the irresponsible parent who would rather fulfill their own addictions and desires than take care of their child’s needs.

Tragic – 

But what is it they hate exactly?  Do they hate the child?  I think they hate not being able to indulge. They can’t be who they want to be with a child alongside them. And that leads to resentment and hatred for their child. Can you think of anything more emotionally tragic than that for a child? I can’t.  That parent may say they don’t want to hurt their child and so they don’t actively show hate towards them. But their ignoring of their needs, their purposeful lack of attention to their wants, is hate nonetheless.

Every Day – 

Love isn’t about extravagant birthday celebrations and big vacations. It’s not about giving the best of everything to your child. It’s about paying attention to them. It’s about turning away from what you want and need and paying attention to what they want and need.

Drawing and commentary © 2016 Marty Coleman | napkindad.com

Quote by J.K. Rowling, 1965 – not dead yet, British author


Becoming What You Practice – Love and Hate # 5 & 6


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I drew this drawing of the crowd with two police officers representing love and hate on the morning of the Dallas protest, before the police officers were killed and wounded. I was going to post it the next morning but felt it would be insensitive to do so. It was now an incomplete statement.


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So over the next few days I drew this one as a companion piece.  It shows the opposite scene. Not cops in charge, but the crowd.  The crowd has the power of love and hate just as much as the cops do.  

Every Day

We as people must always decide, every day, whether we are going to act and react with love or hate.  When violence happens to someone, especially someone you don’t know and might be scared of, or antagonistic towards, are you looking for a reason to not care? That means your heart is moving towards hate. It is hardening. You are telling it that those people don’t care. That they deserved it.  

Only one person in the past week has deserved anything close to the fate of death, and that was the killer of the 5 police officers. But even then, you don’t have to say or feel it with hate. You can say it sadness that his life went so terribly awry, you can feel it with love and compassion for the families left behind. 

Part of the Problem

The other 16 people? They didn’t deserve to be wounded or die. If your political position is such that you are hating one of these people; the cops who shot Alton Sterling and Philandro Castile, or Alton and Philandro themselves, then you are slowly but surely marching into the ‘part of the problem’ column.  If you feel the shooting of the 14 people in Dallas was in any way justified, you are already deep into that column and need a wake up call. 

Age 80

Imagine yourself at age 80.  Who are you?  Your decisions now, every day, are making you into that person. Do you want that person to be hateful, bitter, angry, resentful? If you do, then practice those things and you will become them.  If you don’t, if you want, at age 80, to be kind, loving, forgiving, understanding, compassionate then you must practice those things now and every day. It’s how life works: You become what you practice. 

Drawings and commentary © 2016 Marty Coleman | napkindad.com

Quote by Mignon McLaughlin, 1913 – 1983, American journalist


The Genie – A Very Short Story


The Genie

The woman rubbed the tea pot and a Genie came out. The woman said, “Wow, this is amazing! I am going to wish for…”

But the Genie stopped her and said, “Sorry, I am not that kind of Genie. I don’t grant wishes and I don’t do dishes. I am a comedian, all I do is tell jokes.” And with that the Genie rolled herself into a ball and floated out of the room through the vent.  

The Genie eventually made it big and got her own sitcom. But the woman who rubbed the teapot was bitter about it for the rest of her life.

The End

Drawing and short story © 2016 Marty Coleman | napkindad.com


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