“We only confess our little faults to persuade people that we have no large ones.” – Francois de La Rochefoucauld
French author & moralist (1613 – 1680)
I got busted stealing 5 cents worth of bubble gum when I was 14 years old. I got
pulled into the back of ‘Stoler’s Five and Dime’ by Mr. Stoler. In the time it took me
to walk back there I had already figured out what I was going to say, that it was my
very first time EVER to steal anything and I would never do it again…yada yada
yada. My second thought was that that was way to obvious and I am sure every other
kid who ever got caught by Mr. Stoler said the same thing. So, sure enough the very
first question he asked was ‘Have you ever stolen before?’. I answered ‘Yes’. That
was the truth. He then asked, ‘Have you ever stolen from this store before?’. I
answered ‘No’. That was a lie.
The police were called and I was brought down to the police station, no joke. The
policeman gave me the stink eye and made me feel I would be selling pencils on the
street corner the rest of my life, my sin had been so great. He also said Mr. Stoler
ALWAYS prosecutes. Gulp!
They called my father who came down and got me. When he arrived the police brought us
into a room and sat us down. He said that Mr. Stoler was NOT going to press charges
after all. My father asked why and the policeman said it was because I was the very
first kid Mr. Stoler had ever caught who admitted to having stolen before. Wow, my
instincts were right! I had made the right choice.
However, I don’t know if the next answer was the right choice or not, to lie about
stealing from his store. But I do know that admitting to the ‘little’ fault of
stealing before probably persuaded him I didn’t have a ‘larger’ one of stealing from
him.
My father, on the way home jokingly said ‘You know, if you were going to get caught
stealing something, couldn’t you have chosen something that was worth stealing, like a
TV or something?’
I did buy a TV once that was a real steal, but that was the last thing I ever stole.
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