Category Archives: Quote Authors

May 30 0 comments
Nishan Panwar, Shhh...It's a SECRET!

Dancing Naked – Shhh…It’s a Secret! #2

secrets2

Secret Stories

My napkin of yesterday, where I illustrated and talked about my having not had a drink in 20 years and the resulting secrets, led to, ironically enough, people telling me their secrets.  I am always honored when friends (or strangers) tell me stories of their lives that they are not accustom to telling.  I like knowing they trusted me, and honestly, it’s energizing to hear secret stories, don’t you think?

Push/Pull

The funny thing about secrets is that oft times you are torn about them. You want to keep it secret, you are DESPERATE to keep it secret because, well, what would people think if they knew.  At the same time you yearn to let the secret out.  You would feel so liberated if you could just let it be known that you love to dance naked in the backyard when no one is around.  And then, after the liberated freeing feeling, you would revert and be mortified that you let it out.  It’s how we are with our secrets, isn’t it.

The Consistent Continuum

Perhaps the best we can do is do our best to have the public us and the private us be the same. I don’t mean the same level of exposure, it’s fine to have private elements to your life, whether it’s backyard naked dancing or something else. But I mean who you present yourself to be, at whatever level, should be on an honest and consistent continuum of self.  For example, if you are an anti-gay crusader who spends time in men’s bathrooms soliciting gay sex, you are not on an honest and consistent continuum of self.  

In other words, are you being an actor playing a part, or are you, most of the time, being a real person being you?

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Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman

Quote by Nishan Panwar

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Here is a picture of one of the people who confided in me yesterday.  This is posted here with their approval.

flowers

May 28 5 comments
Body Image, Garrison Keillor

Hair Brained and Empty Headed – Body Image #4

 

Are you thinking what i’m thinking? It’s Body Image #4!

body image 4

Hair Brained and Empty Headed

I love a great hairdo.  I love fun colors, bold shapes, great style.  I think it’s awesome.  But it’s not enough.  To carry awesome style at it’s best you have to have the same investment in what’s under the hair as the hair itself.  For a body image (which does include your head, by the way) to be solidly positive it has to be accompanied by a solid mind image as well.

Investing in your head

You invest $100 to have a great hairdo, but will you pay $100 to make your brain better? You would hire a physical trainer for your body if you could.  But would you ask a trainer to help train your mind to think kinder, more loving, positive thoughts?  You know your body (and hair) won’t be it’s best without you investing in it. The same is true of your mind. If you want to be a person with a great body image, you will need to have think highly of your mind as well.  That takes work.

Can You Direct Me To The Mind Gym?

Never mind, I know where it is.  It’s in my bookshelf in in my office and the book by my bed. It’s in my church. It’s in the Community College in town.  It’s in good TV.  And above all it’s in interesting conversations, curiosity driven adventures, and an open minded fearless attitude towards new ideas, people and places.  That is what keeps my mind growing.

And that in turn, when combined with my paying attention to the body I have, leads me to feel good about all of me, my mind AND my body.

What do you do to keep body AND mind feeling good?

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Drawing by Marty Coleman

Quote by Garrison Keillor, 1942 – not dead yet, American Humorist and Writer, creator of ‘A Prairie Home Companion’ radio show.

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May 24 0 comments
Body Image, Rosalind Russell

Training Joy – Body Image #3

 

I am making a splash today with #3 in my Body Image series.

body 3

Body Goals

Because I coach intermediate runners I have occasion to work with people who do not occupy what they envision to be their optimal bodies quite yet.  There are various body goals they may have.  They may want to get thinner, have more muscle tone, be more flexible, or have better heart health, to name just a few.  Since they have already made the choice to join a running program I take that to also mean they have made a decision to do something deliberate to achieve their goals. I encourage them, do my part in training them, explain as best I can what I think will help them achieve these goals. I truly want them to be who they want to be and I love helping them get there.  

Joy Goals

But there is something else I work on with them.  And that is joy and happiness.  I believe achieving goals can increase one’s happiness.  But I also believe you don’t arrive at a body goal (or any other type of goal) and suddenly find happiness waiting there for you. As odd as it sounds, one needs to train for happiness, just like for an awesome body.  

Cannonball Fun

For example, the joy in doing a cannonball in a pool is primarily in the fun of doing it.  If you are big and round, it is still fun. If you are skinny and boney, it’s still fun. If you are 60 years old it’s fun, if you are 20 years old it’s fun.  Now, it is true you might enjoy the walk to the diving board more if you are happy about your body shape. It is true you might be less self-conscious about something if you have the body you want.  But if you want to experience fun you shouldn’t wait until you are ‘perfect’ to experience it.  Suffer that bit of self-consciousness if you must because the act of doing that fun thing will show you, again and again, that your self-consciousness can be overcome, it can be put in it’s place.  

Training Joy

But if you wait for that ‘perfection’ then while you are practicing and training your body to be it’s best you are continuing to train your mind to think it’s not.  You are continuing to tell yourself that joy and fun and happiness is dependent on you being the right weight, or the right tan color, or the right bra size and that is not true.  You actually may intellectually know it is not true, just as you know intellectually you will be in better shape if you run or work out.  But that knowledge will remain academic and intellectual, unproven and unpracticed, unless you practice the happiness action the same way you practice the physical action.

In other words, train your joy and happiness as well as your body, then both will be in great shape!

How do you train your happiness and joy?

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Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman

Quote by Rosalind Russell, 1907-1976, American actress. Her autobiography is titled, ‘Life is a Banquet’.

Rosalind Russell

Rosalind Russell

 

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May 17 4 comments
Quote Authors

Social Fabric, The Magazine

 

The new blogging community I am part of, Social Fabric, has put out it’s first online magazine, Live SoFab.  

Check it out.  I did, but not because it had the words ‘summer nudes’ and ‘monokini’ on the cover. Really.

 

 

By the way, if any of you are a millennial bloggers (in other words ages 18-25) Social Fabric would like to talk to you about joining their community of bloggers. Let me know and I will get you in contact with them, ok?

 

May 16 2 comments
Anonymous, Women vs Men

What Do You Remember? -Women vs Men #4

 

I hope you didn’t forget…today is day #4 of ‘Women vs Men’ week!

men vs women 4

Learning While Falling Apart

If you have followed me a while you know I was married the first time for 20 years.  The marriage started breaking down around year 18 but ironically that was also when we started REALLY talking to each other about the marriage, who we were, what we wanted, how we felt. It really was a life altering period for me that I now deeply appreciate.  Among things that I learned or I improved were my ability (and willingness) to listen and communicate, feel empathy, think ahead about consequences, and not assume the surface is the reality.  I am grateful for those lessons, as is my new wife, Linda (though she knows I still have a long way to go).

Remember I Forget

But there is another thing those years taught me first hand.  Kathy and I were in the middle of a long discussion about our marriage when she said  ’But you once said…’ and she then proceeded to say what it was I supposedly said.  I didn’t remember saying it.  I asked her when I said it.  She said, ‘about 1991′.  She was telling me this in about 1999, 8 years later.  My response?  ’uh…1991? really?’  She not only remembered that I had said whatever it was I said, but she remembered the year.  Now if this was an isolated incident I would chalk it up and forget about it. But Kathy did it other times as well when we were going over things from our past (including once remembering something I said from the year 1983!).   My wife now, Linda, has also brought up something I said years ago with frightening attention to detail.

Don’t get me wrong, I am not trying to get out of saying what I said.  I wish I could remember things as well as Kathy or Linda.  But I can’t, at least not yet.  From my experience not many men can.  I am sure some women can’t either, but I think overall they can remember a hell of a lot better than men do.

Remembering Concrete

But there is a problem with remembering so well  and that is that one can easily get stuck with that one memory in your head, playing over and over, and it can blind you to subsequent events, words, deeds, that modify or change that thing that is in your head.  So, while forgetting important things we say or do is not always a good thing, it can also allow new, more relevant and true things to come in, things that are who we are now, not who we used to be.

What think you about this?

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Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman, who does remember saying ‘I love you’ a lot to both my wives, no matter how far back it was.

Quote is anonymous

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Here is a great duet from the musical ‘Gigi’ that brings this point out perfectly.  My father used to sing the trademark line, ‘ah yes, I remember it well.’ when he would forget something from the past. I do the same thing now. Not many get it when I do that, but I don’t care. It makes me smile.

Speaking of remembering AND forgetting…While I was writing this I was browsing YouTube and came across something I remember very distinctly. My college roommates and I were LA Dodger fans watching the 1977 World Series when this happened.  Funny though, in my memory she was wearing short shorts.  Ah yes, I remember it well.

 

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