Apr
17
If you are keeping abreast you know it’s day #2 of Breast Week at the NDD!
Skin is Not Sin by Napkin Dad
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Open Air
Why do we think skin equals sin? Why is the exposing of skin seen as dirty? Obviously in breastfeeding a mother shows her breast. If she is in public she might cover her breast with a blanket. But it’s also possible that she might choose not to cover, maybe because the child gets fussy under the blanket, maybe because she likes to watch her child nurse, maybe she likes the feel of the open air. Whatever her reason and whatever her choice there will be someone who feels it’s wrong, dirty or rude for her to nurse in public, no matter what.
It’s Your Fault
This gets to the heart of a persistent idea. It’s the idea that the woman is to blame for the actions of the man. It usually boils down to one thing, she showed too much skin. Whose fault is it if a man reacts rudely, even violently to a woman showing ‘too much skin’? In this persistent idea it is the woman’s fault. Why? Because you can’t expect a man to be able to control himself in the face of that much skin showing.
Self-Control
I, as a man, am offended by this the same way a woman would (and should) be offended by a comment saying a woman can’t control her emotions so she can’t be trusted in important roles in public life. The same is true with the ‘skin’ argument for men. It is not the case that men can’t handle it. It is the case that when men SAY they can’t handle it they are using it as an excuse for their own bad behavior. They are rationalizing their inability to have some self-control by blaming it on others. It’s not the ‘other’ who is to blame. It is the man.
What are your thoughts?
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Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman
Quote is my variation on ‘Skin does not equal sin’ – anonymous
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Mar
26
It may be another week but it’s still the perfect day to continue my perfection series.
Do you know anyone who is perfect? See, proves my point. All perfect people are alone. And all who pretend to be perfect, they end up alone too. Maybe not physically alone, but emotionally and socially they quite likely will be. This will be especially true if they combine their perfection with judgment.
But wasn’t Jesus perfect? Personally I don’t think he was. I think he had imperfect reactions at times. For example, I think he was often annoyed and impatient with his followers (including his mother) instead of being understanding and patient. Realistically, I think he might have been grumpy and short with people if he was too hungry. He seems to have been harsh and a bit mean to whole groups of religious folks (the pharisees come to mind). He certainly was inconsiderate to his parents when he stayed behind in the temple when he should have been with them on the journey home. I think of Jesus as one who moved towards perfection much faster and with more courage than others (especially me) but I don’t think he was perfect.
Are you perfect? Or perhaps you just play a perfect person in real life? Either way you are probably much more alone than you wish to be. It’s not fun being #1 and alone. I bet you will find a lot of loving people ready to support and help you when you allow your honest, imperfect self to show through.
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Drawing, quote and commentary by Marty Coleman, who humbly submits that he has perfected the art of being imperfect.
Feb
15
In my non-Napkin Dad life I also consult, design and develop websites and blogs at times. I have recently been contracted to redesign and expand a style, fashion, and shopping blog and it has been great fun. It included a number of long conversations with the client about how to get just the right mix of elements into the website. That in turn got me thinking about what style really consists of and I came up with the Five I’s. I think I will spend some time digressing about the I’s eventually but before I do I would love to hear your understanding of the I’s as they apply in your own and other’s styles in fashion and other areas. Or add in new I’s or whatever other alphabet letter fits!
In addition, Let me know what you think style is, where it comes from, how you know it when you see it, and how it differs from fashion, trends, fads, etc.
Drawing, quote and commentary by Marty Coleman, who got 3 new hats this winter.
Jan
02
Think of all that has happened in the last year. I started speaking at conferences for the first time, three of them to be exact. Over a year ago I submitted a proposal for an exhibition of my photo-collages but hadn’t heard back anything by 1/1/11. Now I am 4 days away from the exhibition’s opening night (Living Arts of Tulsa, Friday, January 6th, 6-9pm). I had one daughter living in Tulsa and one in Seattle. Now I have one in parts unknown and one in Berkeley, CA. Those are just a few things among many. Two of those events I made happen by putting myself out there. My daughter’s life events I had very little control over, watching mainly from the sidelines.
What about you? What happened this year? What happen that you had some control over? What happened you had very little control over?
Stuff is going to happen to you in the next year. Stuff you can’t control and have no say in. But there will be plenty of things that will happen ONLY if you decide to make them happen. Are you going to push to make things happen, believing they can happen if you set your mind to it or are you going to let opportunities pass by, believing you are not able or being fearful of possible bad outcomes?
Will you look back on 1/1/13 and feel you did what you could?
Drawing, commentary and quote by Marty Coleman, a man who likes the funny stuff.
Dec
16
I had a friend in college who was a great keyboard player. His specialty was church organ music. He even had a real organ in his little apartment. He LOVED to play the organ and wanted to be a professional organist for a church. It was his ideal.
But his father wanted him to be a banker. So, he worked in a bank as a teller. That was his father’s path for him and he didn’t have the guts, at that point anyway, to confront his father, OR himself, and take the path he really wanted to take.
He wasn’t living his ideal, he was living an ordeal.
Tell us the story of your ideal and your ordeal. If you have achieved or are on the path to your ideal, tell us how you made that change. If you haven’t made it but want to, tell us what you think might be stopping you. Your stories will help others so don’t be shy to tell them.
Drawing, commentary AND quote by Marty Coleman, a man who lets his fingernails grow too long.
