Jul
15
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Day #4 of Sex Week at The Napkin Dad Daily
Here is the issue about emotion in sex and love. Men often have too little of it (emotion that is) and women often have too much of it.
For you women, actually it isn’t just that men have less of it than you do. It’s also that they don’t know they have it in the first place. They feel just a hint of something, but they don’t investigate it. It is left unformed and uninvestigated. Men are often not even aware it WAS a feeling they had, and if they did realize it, they aren’t sure what that feeling represented. They don’t name it and categorize it.
For you men, actually it isn’t that women just have more of it than you do. It’s also that they investigate deeper into the emotions they do have. To them they are a mobius strip of never ending investigations. And not just their emotions, but yours as well. They figure you are exploring yours as deeply as they are their own and so they want to know what it is you are feeling. They are working at defining what it is they felt and where it sits in relation to her other emotions and yours. When you aren’t able to say what it is your feel, it’s easy for them to think you either are hiding something or don’t feel anything.
That is why sex is often such a emotionally bonding experience for both men and women. It isn’t primarily about words. It’s about motion and sensory experience and the emotions are created through those things. Sex is good that way.
Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman of The Napkin Dad Daily
Quote by Mae West, 1893-1980, American playwright and actress. Read her bio, she was an amazing woman well ahead of her time. Incredibly creative and ambitious. I didn’t realize she wrote many of the plays and movies she starred in.
Jul
14
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Day #3 of Sex Week at The Napkin Dad Daily
I don’t actually think this is true, but it brings up a good point, namely that we often teach our sons and daughters differently about sex. Even if we are ‘liberated’ in talking about it we still unconsciously address the two sexes differently.
For example, talking to a teenage boy going out to a party you might tell him ‘make sure you keep it zipped, don’t do something stupid, don’t be so horny that you can’t control yourself’. Talking to a teenage girl you might say ‘watch out tonight, don’t leave your drink out of your site, don’t let the guy be with you alone, don’t drive off in the middle of nowhere with him.’
The assumption underlying those warnings is that the man will be the horny one wanting the sex and the girl will be the one deciding to give it or not, like a clerk at a store, disengaged. But the truth is you have to talk to your daughter with the understanding that she is a sexual creature as well. She could be the aggressor, she could be the one ‘wanting it’ and forcing the issue with the guy.
I agree it’s not quite as likely, but that doesn’t mean you don’t recognize that, no matter what her libido level, she still needs to know that she will feel things too. It isn’t just about her responding to a guy, it’s about her figuring out her own feelings and desires as well. It does no good service to a daughter or son to assume they fit into a cookie cutter sexual mold. Explain to them the range of feelings they may come across, not just some pandering platitude that isn’t based in their reality.
If you want to be effective in helping your son or daughter understand what is happening to them in the sexual world, you have to address them as real people, not cliches of sexuality.
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Don’t forget, we now have Napkin Dad birthday cards, cups and t-shirts available, check it out!
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Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman of The Napkin Dad Daily
Quote by Mignon McLaughlin, 1913-1983, American journalist and author. Writer and editor for various magazines including Vogue, Redbook, Cosmopolitan and Glamour.
Jan
22
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Day 4 in the feminism series.
This isn’t about cliche feminism, it’s about facing reality and oneself, no matter your gender. It’s about real feminism, the feminism of equality and differences co-existing in an atmosphere of forgiveness, understanding, admitting wrong, working sincerely for equality, examining self & society and taking responsibility for your part.
Those things are the signs of victory for both sides.
And enjoying each other, don’t forget that!
Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman of The Napkin Dad Daily
Quote by Henry Kissinger (I know, really? Yes, really), 1923-not dead yet, German born American Diplomat
Jan
20
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Day 2 of my feminist series. That, of course, means these are feminine napkins.
In the US we seem to have made great progress (though not complete) towards equality in job opportunity among the sexes. I know it isn’t equal in all industries though and there are two reasons for this; men and women.
Yes, in most cases, it’s men in charge and men with the attitude that says women can’t do it. But there are also women in those industries who believe the same thing. They have bought into the idea that they can’t do the job.
For that to change, the mindsets of both men and women have to change. Women need the courage to fight for the jobs they want, men need to courage to overcome their outmoded prejudices and see that that the world will not fall apart just because changes come.
Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman of The Napkin Dad Daily
Quote by Florynce Kennedy, 1916-2000, American lawyer and activist. Read about her amazing life here.
Jan
19
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Day one of a week-long series on feminism and equality.
Disappearing does seems easy sometimes, seems like a relief because you don’t have to make decisions about what you want to do, who you want to be, how you want to act, what interests you.
But what seems like the easy way often turns into a very hard way and this is why. Because sooner or later you are going to find that you want your own identity and you will be playing catch up, or you will have lived your life and found it is too late and you have none. That will be a depressing moment.
So, no matter how strong or domineering the people or person are who you are connected to, you have no other successful option than to be strong and resolute in standing up for who you want to be. If that means you have to argue, then you argue. The option of just keeping quiet to avoid an argument will work for a while, but in the long run it will only succeed in building resentment from you and imbalance in the relationship.
Oh, and don’t blame the other person or people. They may make it difficult, true. But you, and only you, are responsible for creating yourself. Saying someone is in your way is a sterile statement. Either fight your way past the person or rid yourself of the person.
Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman of The Napkin Dad Daily
Quote by Betty Friedan in ‘The Feminine Mystique’, published 1963
