Category Archives: growth

Apr 24 2 comments
adolescent, education, gender issues, growth

Training Boys or Limiting Girls – Rape Culture

training boys

I got into a long and deep discussion today on FB over a story on ABC News/GMA about girls not being allowed to wear strapless dresses to a middle school prom because they were deemed ‘too distracting’ by the principal of the school.  Click on the pic or link to read the story.

Strapless Dresses Too ‘Distracting’ for N.J. School Dance
Is this an example of a rape culture at work?

There were a lot of points of view, mine primarily being that what is needed is proper training for boys on how to respond to girls, no matter what they are wearing.  Limiting girls because boys might be distracted is placing the blame on the girl, just as when someone blames a rape victim because she wore too short a skirt or too dark of eyeshadow.  Not only is that not the reason behind rape, even if it were, the solution is to get the boys/men educated and trained about appropriate and moral behavior, not telling women they have to wear clothes that conceal.

That’s my initial take on it, what’s yours? 

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Drawing, quote and commentary by Marty Coleman

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Jan 24 0 comments
growth, Pablo Picasso

Growing Young

 

Give this coffee cup to someone who is growing young.
Today is my birthday. Getting old takes so long that I have gotten younger waiting around for it to happen.  What’s my secret?  Creativity and courage.  Those two things, when paid attention to and practiced, bring joy.  And joy makes one young.

Drawing and commentary by the birthday boy.

Quote by Pablo Picasso, 1881-1973, Spanish born artist.  (Baptized name - Pablo Diego José Francisco de Paula Juan Nepomuceno María de los Remedios Cipriano de la Santísima Trinidad Ruiz y Picasso)

Apr 09 1 comments
buddhism, Doubt, growth, Zen

>Where There Is Great Doubt

>When my wife and I were dating we went to Pacifica, California for a day trip while we were on vacation. She had lived there for a while before we met and she wanted to see it again and show me the place. We went to the beach, which had a cliff off to the side. I wanted to climb up it but she was hesitant. She wasn’t very much into that sort of thing at the time. She decided she would do it and off we went. We made it up and down no problem, viewed the Pacific ocean and just drank in the beauty of it all.

I didn’t think much about it after that. But later, when it was mentioned to our daughter, my wife was very excited about having climbed the cliff. To her, the idea of being able to climb it was a BIG doubt. And being able to do it was, in turn, a BIG awakening. It stayed with her specifically because the doubt was so great beforehand. She now does all sorts of physical things she had no notion she could do before.

Have you ever heard an athlete or person involved in some endeavor tell of that one particular event that caused them to realize they could do it? They made a big play, or they made a big deal in business? That future confidence was a result of that awakening from doubt.

What is your big doubt? What big awakening can you envision if you overcame it?

Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman of The Napkin Dad Daily

Quote is a Zen Buddhist saying

Mar 10 2 comments
Aging, growth, Marty Coleman, parenting

>My Favorite People Don't

>This is now a birthday card and a coffee mug. Check it out below.


Here is a REALLY important lesson to not only teach your children, but show your children.

‘Growing up’ means there is a stopping point. You reach 18, or 21, or marriage, or kids, and you are done. You are grown up. But is that really true? Is it wise to teach that? Is it accurate? Of course it isn’t accurate. To teach a child that they are going to reach some point in the future when they are done growing does them a great disservice. They not only will be frustrated when that ‘grown up’ time arrives and they aren’t grown up, or they will be under the illusion that they don’t need to grow anymore, they are where they are going to be and that is that.

Imagine having the exact same opinions, tastes, styles, interests, abilities, and outlook on life as you did when you were half the age you are now. Are they the same? If not, then you have grown. If they are the same, guess what, you are stuck back in some prior era and need to get back on the growth track!

Just as important as your own growth is the example you set for your children. They are witnessing your growth or lack thereof. You want them to learn how to be a real adult? Then they better see you continuing to grow as an adult. They need to see you continuing to be interested and alive in the world or what will they think? They will think…great, I have a dead adulthood to look forward to with nothing new or energizing happening to me.

Show them you are continuing to pursue your interests. You liked art as teen? Well, go to a museum, learn about it, get a sketchbook, draw. You always wanted to learn to play the guitar? Well, get one and learn it. Your kids will thank you for showing them the real way to grow!

Drawing, commentary AND quote by Marty Coleman of The Napkin Dad Daily

Jul 28 0 comments
Aging, growth, Madeleine L'engle, son

>The Great Thing About Getting Older

>Day 3 of ‘Aging Week’. My father is on the roller coaster that is old age, bone breaks and lung congestion. Not an easy thing for him to deal with. His efforts are continuing to cause me to think about the whole process of aging.

I remember when this quote made sense for the first time. I was talking to someone much younger than myself. I realized that he didn’t have the flow of time I had. He had gone through 25 years of life, and for him to consider the next 25 he had to project. I, on the other hand, had all 50 years to remember. I had the age of 30 in my memory, the age of 20, the age of 40. I hadn’t given up any of those years, I had just added to them.

It helped me realize why younger people can so often not understand older people. They simply have to take a much greater leap than when an older person has to understand a younger person. They haven’t lived that age yet. Of course, many older people forget what it was like to be young, but that is an issue for another blog entry!

quote by Madeleine L’engle, Author


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