Category Archives: honesty

>It Is Easier To Believe A Lie Heard

>

Day #5 of Lying Week at The Napkin Dad Daily
There is only one way to know if you are being told lies.  You MUST be a self-educator.  

Where might you be told lies?  We can start with religion, culture, science, nationality, race, education, government, nutrition, fitness, illness, sexuality or history.  The list goes on and on.

In those situations (and many more) how do you know if you are being told lies or not? Maybe you aren’t, maybe you are.  But how do you know?  You know if you seek answers from multiple sources.  If you are in a ghetto then you aren’t likely to get those multiple sources.  (I don’t use the word ghetto in a derogatory fashion. It’s original meaning was a place isolated from it’s surrounding area for one reason or another. I am using simply as a description of isolation.)

I don’t mean a physical ghetto. I mean an intellectual ghetto, a mental awareness walled off from the wider world.  If you only listen to people and ideas that come from within that intellectual ghetto, then there is a good chance you will have a distorted view.  At the least you will have a view by default. It won’t be one you came to be exploration, it will be one you came to by taking the path of least resistance and not taking responsibility for your own thorough education.

I have known a number of people, for example, within the Christian community who think they have thought through an issue. But in truth they have simply mulled over a pre-determined, pre-packaged ‘thoughts ready to think’ supplied by those in charge of their ghetto.  They haven’t read or listened to ideas outside that ghetto.  This is true in both liberal and conservative congregations I have been a part of.  So, while they believe they have come to their own conclusions, their lack of objective exploration outside the ghetto belies that assumption.  

To be fair, I do know many, including the Pastors of the two churches I attend regularly (one liberal, one conservative), who are constantly exploring outside the confines of their own congregation’s leanings and heritage.  

I appreciate and applaud the people who do this.  They are the ones I trust to be truly searching for truth.

Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman of The Napkin Dad Daily

Quote by Anonymous

>I've Seen Honest Faces Before

>

Day #4 of ‘Lying Week’ at The Napkin Dad Daily
Smiles don’t equal honesty.  Beauty does not equal honesty.  Handsomeness, charm, sincere listening, thoughtful words…none of those things equal honesty.  Honesty is not in a face, not in eyes, not in a voice. Honesty is only in one place, and that is action.  That action might be true words spoken, yes.  But honesty is most likely to be seen in what a person does, not what they say. And especially not what they look like.

Those who say ‘he has an honest face’ are fooling themselves.  Faces aren’t honest, people are.

Drawing by Marty Coleman of The Napkin Dad Daily

Quote by ….. Willow from the TV Series ‘Buffy the Vampire Slayer’.

>Lies Are Essential To Humanity

>Nobody likes to admit they lie. They don’t want to admit it to themselves much less to others. Nobody likes to admit it because they are thinking about big lies, or even white lies. But I am more interested in unconscious and subconscious lying. Lying done without really even thinking about it.

For example. You might say ‘I hate turning 40.’ or ‘ugh, it’s raining today’ to a friend. But are you just automatically saying what is expected at that moment? Are you really bummed that it is raining or you are 40 or are you parroting what you think is expected? Are those lies?

I would say they are. You aren’t paying attention to what YOU really believe, but instead are just saying some automatic response that is, when you get right down to it, a lie.

How do we get pleasure from those lies? What do they feed in us?
Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman of The Napkin Dad Daily

Quote by Marcel Proust, 1871-1922, French essayist and novelist

……………………………………………………

A recommendation: If you want to read a fantastic book about how artist’s creativity presaged advancements and understanding about the brain by science, read ‘Marcel Proust Was A Neuroscientist’ by Jonah Lehrer (Amazon)

>The Best Brought-up Children

>Let’s get right to it. Examples of hypocrisy in action on the part of parents that do no favors to their children in the long run.

Telling your child to wait until marriage to have sex but you are having sex with your BF or GF while you are dating.

Telling your child that they shouldn’t drink but you drink like a sailor on leave.

Appearing to always be cheery and perky while hiding blue moments from everyone.

Telling your child to live by the golden rule but you gossip and malign others incessantly.

Telling your child it’s inner beauty that counts but you obsess over your looks.

Telling your child that money isn’t the most important thing in life, but acting as if it is, judging people on their perceived wealth.

So, what is the alternative, to show your kid what a jerk you are? No, the alternative is to work to integrate who you are….who you REALLY are, with what you teach your child. You don’t have to expose every flaw, you simply have to be the same person with the same beliefs in your whole life, not one life for you as an adult alone and another for you in front of your kids.

You may ask, why not be two different people? My kids don’t need to see that side of me. The point is, they WILL see that side of you, no matter what. They may not see it at age 5, but they will by 15. They will see your hypocrisy and it will teach them the lesson you don’t want to teach them, that integrity isn’t real and from within, it is just a charade you play to look acceptable on the outside. That is the lesson a child of hypocrisy learns. Then guess who they teach that lesson to?

Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman of The Napkin Dad Daily

Quote by George Bernard Shaw, 1856-1950, Irish Playwright

>Candor and Generosity, Unless

>How odd that two qualities that are admired can lead to ruin. Why is that?
What do they do in excess that makes the giver fall?

Candor is a type of honesty. Too much of that and people rebel against it. People say they like honesty, but what they don’t say is they only like so much of it. Too much can give the people a feeling of getting too close, too familiar.

Generosity is a great thing, but too much of it can make the receiver suspicious, make the community suspicious. It can give the community a feeling of getting too close, too familiar.

Contempt arises, accusations ensue and a downfall begins. Is the giver to blame? Yes, in part. He or she may not have bad motives, may not be doing ‘bad’ things. But they aren’t being discerning, they aren’t being ‘proper’ in their display of both qualities. The results certainly aren’t what they expect, but they could have been expected.

Drawing by Marty Coleman, the Napkin Dad
Check out my work and merchandise at
http://www.martycoleman.com
and
http://napkindad.blogspot.com

quote by Tacitus, 56AD-117AD, Roman Senator and Historian

analytics tracking