> Nobody likes to admit they lie. They don’t want to admit it to themselves much less to others. Nobody likes to admit it because they are thinking about big lies, or even white lies. But I am more interested in unconscious and subconscious lying. Lying done without really even thinking about it.
Category Archives: honesty
Telling your child to wait until marriage to have sex but you are having sex with your BF or GF while you are dating.
Telling your child that they shouldn’t drink but you drink like a sailor on leave.
Appearing to always be cheery and perky while hiding blue moments from everyone.
Telling your child to live by the golden rule but you gossip and malign others incessantly.
Telling your child it’s inner beauty that counts but you obsess over your looks.
Telling your child that money isn’t the most important thing in life, but acting as if it is, judging people on their perceived wealth.
So, what is the alternative, to show your kid what a jerk you are? No, the alternative is to work to integrate who you are….who you REALLY are, with what you teach your child. You don’t have to expose every flaw, you simply have to be the same person with the same beliefs in your whole life, not one life for you as an adult alone and another for you in front of your kids.
You may ask, why not be two different people? My kids don’t need to see that side of me. The point is, they WILL see that side of you, no matter what. They may not see it at age 5, but they will by 15. They will see your hypocrisy and it will teach them the lesson you don’t want to teach them, that integrity isn’t real and from within, it is just a charade you play to look acceptable on the outside. That is the lesson a child of hypocrisy learns. Then guess who they teach that lesson to?
Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman of The Napkin Dad Daily
Quote by George Bernard Shaw, 1856-1950, Irish Playwright
Candor is a type of honesty. Too much of that and people rebel against it. People say they like honesty, but what they don’t say is they only like so much of it. Too much can give the people a feeling of getting too close, too familiar.
Generosity is a great thing, but too much of it can make the receiver suspicious, make the community suspicious. It can give the community a feeling of getting too close, too familiar.
Contempt arises, accusations ensue and a downfall begins. Is the giver to blame? Yes, in part. He or she may not have bad motives, may not be doing ‘bad’ things. But they aren’t being discerning, they aren’t being ‘proper’ in their display of both qualities. The results certainly aren’t what they expect, but they could have been expected.
quote by Tacitus, 56AD-117AD, Roman Senator and Historian
There are a lot of people who take pride in being ‘honest’ and ‘saying
it like it is’. There are the positive elements of this in business and in
But there is another type, the random type. It is seductive to think they
are more honest, more real, more truthful than the rest of us and hold
some special place in honesty heaven as a result. But if you really, truly
look at what comes out of their mouth, most of the time it isn’t really
about honesty and some exalted sense of forthrightness.
In those random cases it is about two other things. One, it is about not
knowing boundaries, not knowing when to shut up. Two it is about
enjoying the power to shock and get a reaction.
This is especially important to help teenagers to understand. Verbal
‘honesty’ has a purpose, it isn’t just a lack of self-control, or a weapon.
It is used to help people or situations. You can be honest about your
mother or father or friend having trouble with alcohol. You can be
honest with your spouse about your feelings. That is legitimate. But
to just spout off supposed truths because you are the ‘honest’ type is
an immature and mean-spirited thing to do. Teaching our children
the difference, when to use ‘honesty’ and when to shut up, is one of
the best things we can do for them.
quote by A. Nony Mouse
This is ‘Didchya Know?’ Monday
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