Many thanks to Erin Patrick for her FBing of this quote this morning!
Category Archives: identity
Disappearing does seems easy sometimes, seems like a relief because you don’t have to make decisions about what you want to do, who you want to be, how you want to act, what interests you.
But what seems like the easy way often turns into a very hard way and this is why. Because sooner or later you are going to find that you want your own identity and you will be playing catch up, or you will have lived your life and found it is too late and you have none. That will be a depressing moment.
So, no matter how strong or domineering the people or person are who you are connected to, you have no other successful option than to be strong and resolute in standing up for who you want to be. If that means you have to argue, then you argue. The option of just keeping quiet to avoid an argument will work for a while, but in the long run it will only succeed in building resentment from you and imbalance in the relationship.
Oh, and don’t blame the other person or people. They may make it difficult, true. But you, and only you, are responsible for creating yourself. Saying someone is in your way is a sterile statement. Either fight your way past the person or rid yourself of the person.
Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman of The Napkin Dad Daily
Quote by Betty Friedan in ‘The Feminine Mystique’, published 1963
>Why do I have someone washing dishes in this drawing? Because how clean your dishes are is a result of attitude, not skill.
Not to say you shouldn’t teach your children the proper way to wash dishes, but if you never taught them chances are they would figure it out on their own, right?
It is SO EASY to settle into a ‘good enough’ frame of mind. In many areas that is acceptable. Sweeping the garage can be done ‘good enough’. But in most cases ‘good enough’ is really another way of saying ‘I’m lazy’. I don’t want to work that hard to reach excellence. I want to just do the minimal and be done with it.
I have had that attitude before, and sometimes I still have it. It doesn’t go away.
So, how do you increase this attitude of excellence? It seems to me you have to think it makes a difference. It might make a difference to your pride at the Christmas dinner if your plates are caked with bits of food from Thanksgiving, right? In that case it is worth doing an excellent job cleaning your dishes.
What about at work? Does it really matter if you get the work in on time or a day late? What if the boss doesn’t seem to care, why should you? Does it really matter if you spell check and proof read or not? Who is going to notice anyway, right?
Here is the key. The truth is it matters because what you do, defines YOU. It doesn’t first define the company or the family or the holiday or the client, but you. It affects those people and institutions and that is important, but no family reputation, no company brand identity and no sales association is ever going to have a definition without its individual members having their identity first.
If you are a ‘good enough’ person, and your boss is, and your son and daughter are, and your sales associates are, then you find yourself living in a good enough world. So you ask, what’s wrong with that? What’s wrong with it is that you have 50 other companies being excellent that are kicking your ass in the business world. Your son or daughter have thousands of fellow students kicking their ass being excellent at school. You have rival sales people kicking your ass getting the sales you aren’t getting. That isn’t just the rear end they are kicking. They are kicking your wallet, your company, your chances for success, your opportunities for the future as well.
I have to recharge myself with this attitude frequently. I tend to slide into the ‘good enough’ world really easily. Truly it is the #1 reason I am the Napkin Dad, to inspire myself to be excellent as well as communicate it to others.
Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman of The Napkin Dad Daily blog
Quote by Ralph Marston, still alive, author of The Daily Motivator
The most intense struggle of growing up is rooted in this quote. Go to any middle school
(about 12-15 years old) and you will see the beginnings of children trying to figure out
who is ‘me’ versus who is not ‘me’. If by that time the child isn’t starting to be confident
in who that ‘me’ is then they will be at the mercy of the cliques, crowds, bullies,
glamourizers and over-confident ones.
The greatest gift anyone can give their child is the gift of helping them know the ‘me’
that is genuine inside them. You can’t tell them what it is, and you can’t force them
into your ‘me’. You have to watch and pick up on their signals, you have to subtly find
ways to guide and direct them towards that ‘me’ they might not even see yet.
I am starting a new feature, once a week. It is called ‘Curiosity College’.
What are you curious about in the world? Ask a question and I will go
find an answer! I will post the question and answer the next week. If I
don’t get a question that week I will ask my own and give an answer.
If I can’t find an answer I will ask it of the ‘Napkin Kin’ (that’s all of you)
and see what you all come up with, ok?
So, leave a question in your comments, or if you get this via email send me the question!