Category Archives: kindness

The Self-Made Man

Self Made Man

You would think I would be all about the self-made man, being the creative, artistic sort. And in those areas I am. But the man or woman who thinks they really created themselves and their wealth all by their lonesome are usually overly ego driven and somewhat delusional.  They can also tend to think that the ‘self-made’ label excuses them from being kind, respectful, well-mannered and appropriate.

I am reading the biography of Steve Jobs right now.  He was brilliant and he was also a jerk.  That’s ok, I have been a jerk myself.  But the problem comes when a casual reviewer of his life thinks his accomplishments as a self-made man means that his jerkness was ok. That it was important to his success.  I don’t believe that to be true.  I believe he could have been a success while still being a kind and thoughtful person.  Millions of people do it every day.

For every Picasso the jerk there is a Matisse the good.  For every Bernie Madoff the criminal there is a Warren Buffett the good.   They made their way in the world; making fortunes, families, empires of business and fantastic art all while being kind, respectful and good.

Don’t make your success an excuse for your idiocy and meanness to blossom.  You might have an obligation (or obsession) towards your business or creativity. But you have a greater obligation, at least in my mind, to working just as hard to be the good and kind person you truly want to be. Work on that just as hard as your business, be obsessed with that in equal measure, and THEN let them write a book about your greatness.

Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman of The Napkin Dad Daily

Quote by Anonymous

It Is Christmas In The Heart

The second day of Christmas Week my true love gave to me…

Here’s the thing about ‘Christmas spirit’ – it is a cliche.  It’s overworked, overstated, overused, overforced and over the moon. But it’s also true.

I worked in the restaurant business first when I was 16.  I finished my on and off again illustrious career in that arena when I was 45.  29 years of serving people and I loved it.  I also loved when my customers would inquire as to how I was doing.

Now, all year long, Christmas or not, every time I go out to a retail store, or a restaurant, I always make a point to ask the sales person, waiter, etc. how there day is going or how they are feeling.  Something along that line.  If they say ‘long’ I ask when they get off and if they will be able to relax. If they say ‘good’, I say great. If they say ‘it sucks’ I ask why.  Then if they ask me in return I will tell them.

Christmas spirit has the cliche attached, it’s true. But kindness and thoughfulness do not.  Be kind to the least powerful among you, be thoughtful and don’t judge those whom you don’t know.  It isn’t hard, it just takes extending the reach of your care.  You don’t know how your kindness may be needed right then by that person.  

That was Jesus’s message, that is the Christmas message. And that is not now, nor will it ever will be, a cliche.
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Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman of The Napkin Dad Daily

Quote by W. T. Ellis, 1866-? (probably not still alive I surmise).  


>One Kind Word in Winter

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A young friend of mine had a car accident on Friday, here in Tulsa, Oklahoma. The winter weather – sleet and freezing rain – had been falling most of the day and when something went wrong on the road, I don’t know what, she rolled her car over. She thought she had died because all she saw was white, then she realized it was snow and ice everywhere. She ended up hanging upside down in her car by her seatbelt. Her dog was in the car with her and she thought he was dead as well until she reached out for it and it responded.

She posted photos of the strangulation-like raw marks all over her neck and upper chest from the seat belt. It was not a pretty sight. She can barely move her neck.

The lessons learned? Don’t take life for granted. Pay attention to important things. Don’t delay telling people how you appreciate them. These are not uncommon lessons. We hear them over and over. My hope is that my young friend takes action and turns these new lessons into the habits of her life.

Because it isn’t learning a lesson that is hard. It is becoming the lesson that is.

Say the word.
Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman of The Napkin Dad Daily

Quote is a Japanese proverb

>Life Isn't A Matter of Milestones

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I have thought about ‘moments’ a lot over the years. Mostly I have focused
on the arrival of a moment, when something happens that demands you
make a decision about how to respond. That moment when you must
choose an ethical or moral path.

For example, a friend wrote recently about taking dance lessons.
There was a moment in the first group lesson where one of the other
students was about to be left out of an activity. People had paired up and
my friend could see this young woman, shy and nervous, wasn’t going
to be included. Nobody’s fault, no evil intentions, just how it played out.
The girls was shrugging her shoulders at the teacher’s encouragement.
My friend had a moment. A moment to decide which direction she would
go. She chose to lightly slap the girl on the arm and say ‘Hey, let’s just go for it’
and the lonely student, the teacher and my friend did the routine together
and had fun. That was all it took.

It’s a simple moment in which you decide to be kind, to be loving, to be forgiving.
It’s that moment when you know you are creating your character and you
create it. Then you smile at yourself for doing the good thing and look for
the next moment with joy.

>A Mob Never Rushes

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napkin_08-15-03_mob

I think this is a great quote since it really makes you think about the nature of a
specific event/idea and snaps it into focus for you. A mob (as opposed to just a
large gathering) is a scary thing and they can’t be trusted to be rational or
purposeful or ethical while in the mob mentality.

That is why talk radio can be so cancerous. It sometimes can be a dispersed mob led
by a ranting ego. And while it is unlikely that dispersed mob will burn stores and
maim people physically, all the sacrifice of care and compassion and ‘needed
kindnesses’ are still going to be missing from their heart as they go about their
business.

What do you think?

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