I used to work at a great restaurant in San Jose, California called Eulipia. One night after work a number of us, 3 women and 3 men, were hanging out at the bar just shooting the breeze. The women got into a discussion of what sort of men they were attracted to. One had specific requirements. Another had an ‘ideal man’. The third had a long list of traits she was not attracted to. Us men sat silently listening to them explain these mysteries to us. It took quite a while.
After they were done one of the women turned to us men and asked, “So, what sort of women are you attracted to?” And without missing a beat, all three of us, in harmony said, “Whoever pays attention to us.”
And that is the secret of how to attract men, seriously. Yes, looks matter. Yes, we can like certain ‘types’. But within the very wide range of attraction most men actually have, there is one thing that stands out, the clincher. And that is charm. The woman with charm, the woman who pays attention to a man, is the one with the advantage, not the one who is most beautiful or has the best figure.
And here is another truth for you men who might be reading this. It works the other way too. Are you worried you aren’t the most handsome, buffed or tall guy? Worry less about that and more about if you are actually, sincerely showing interest and care about the woman in front of you. THAT is what matters most, even for the 3 women at the bar that night.
Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman, Publisher of The Napkin Dad Daily.
Quote is by me. It’s a variation on a much longer quote by Adlai Stevenson of all people.
Category Archives: romance
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I went to a post on ‘The Happiness Project’ blog today and unexpectedly found a wonderful story about finding the unexpected.
The author, Gretchen Rubin, wrote about her intense happiness in finding unexpected art in public places. It got me thinking about both topics, happiness and art, and my response is exactly the same. I love art in museums, but I LOVE unexpectedly coming across art in non-art spaces.
This is what I wrote as a comment on her blog:
What makes me extremely happy is coming across an unexpected piece of art, in the middle of a non-art world. While on a long run in a park in Waco, Texas I came upon a giant art installation being made; a grouping of anthropomorphic, whimsical huts made out of branches, with doors and windows for all to go in and out of. It was just being finished, the artist was there, as was the city official in charge of the grand opening, which was taking place in just a few minutes. I stopped my run 4 miles short, chills up and down my spine, to stop and be happy in the presence of unexpected and beautiful art. I went to the artist, Patrick Daugherty, and made sure he knew at least one person was very, very happy to see his ‘River Vessels’ installation.
I went looking for quotes on ‘unexpected’ and came across this one. It really does get to the heart of what makes something or someone charming. I know I will see art in a museum, but I am delighted and charmed, often to the point of giddiness, by seeing art where I don’t expect it.
My illustration took a turn towards another example of charm, the type associated with romance. It’s not the flowers that make it charming, it’s the unexpected charm of having a frog be the one who gives them.
So, be on the lookout for what makes you happy. I bet you’ll find in part it’s connected to having a joyfully unexpected event happen in your life. Better yet, why don’t YOU help make that wonderfully unexpected event for someone else! If you are a frog, not a prince, get flowers. If you are neither, be on the lookout for the charming frog as much as the charming prince!
Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman of The Napkin Dad Daily
Quote by Jose Marti, 1853-1895, Cuban writer
One year ago today at The Napkin Dad Daily – Eavesdropping