Category Archives: Death

Oct 07 0 comments
Death, Steve Jobs

DEATH – Week in Review

Due to the very public passing of Steve Jobs I have been listening, reading and thinking quite a bit about death this week.  


One of the best clarifications of death and why it has ultimate value to us the living was spoken by Mr. Jobs himself during his commencement address at Stanford University in 2005.  Here are three paragraphs from that address.  Take the time to read them.  It really is worth the time, after all…

“Remembering that I’ll be dead soon is the most important tool I’ve ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure – these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.


No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don’t want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life’s change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new. Right now the new is you, but someday not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic, but it is quite true.


Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. (emphasis mine) Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.”

Then, when you get more time, read the entire thing.

Here is the series I did on death in 2010.

DEATH #1 – Work
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DEATH #2 – Imortality
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DEATH #3 – Mourners
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DEATH #4 – Happiness
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This one has a beautiful story behind it, check it out.

DEATH #5 – Life
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Mar 30 0 comments
Death, friends, Metaphor, Rose MaCaulay

Metaphor #3 – Friends

It’s day 3 of Metaphor week.  I am enjoying my new book, ‘I Never Metaphor I Didn’t Like – a comprehensive compilation of history’s greatest analogies, metaphors, and similes’, but I am realizing as I go that so many quotes I have read and used over the years have been in one of those three categories already!

Sometimes I feel like that myself.  I am a very social person and I actually keep up with many people from my past, people who are life-long friends, but like many men, I don’t have a ton of close guy friends.


I first realized this when I got divorced in 2000.  One of the elements that led up to the divorce caused there to be a split between friend and I.  Until that happened I thought of him as a guy I saw once in a while. We socialized, had some creative and extended family elements in common, but that was about it.  But after it happened I realized that he was one of my closest guy friends.  It actually seemed sort of pathetic to me at the time.  This guy I spend barely any time with turns to be one of my closest friends.  It made the divorce all the harder.


That is one reason I like organized recreation, such as the running group I am in.  I have been injured lately (achilles tendon) and so have not been running.  I have really missed it. In part because of the exercise (I have gained weight for sure) but also because of the friendships.  I miss hearing what is going on in people’s lives. I miss telling stories of my life.  I miss encouraging my friends.


Yesterday I mentioned something I used to say to my daughters as they went to school in the morning. I would say ‘Make good friends, keep good friends’.  How do you do those two things?
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Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman of The Napkin Dad Daily


Quote by Rose MaCaulay, 1881-1958, British writer
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One year ago today at the NDD – Politics is More Dangerous
Two years ago – Bowling God Day
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Feb 22 0 comments
afterlife, Anonymous, blue, blues, Colors, Death, family, loss, love

Blue – RIP Gavin Powell

My family is blue today.  I have a cousin, Jim Powell.  His only son Gavin died along with his best friend Matt in a rafting accident this week in Walnut Creek, California.  He was 17, Matt was 16.  There had been heavy rains in the area and after Gavin found an old inflatable raft in his garage they made plans to raft down a local creek.  They wore helmets but no life vests and were unable to navigate in the fast rushing waters.  Both of them died during their trip.  Links to the story are below.

As any parent knows and will tell you, nothing in the complete realm of human existence can be more completely and utterly destructive to one’s soul than losing a child.  I have not had that happen and I am very grateful. But I know the fear, as do all parents I have ever known.  I may not be as controlling of my kids as my wives have been, I may say ‘you have to let them go do this or that’. I am that father who said that is how it has to be to my wives.  But make no mistake, for every time I have said that, and I bet for every other spouse who played the role of the one saying it’s ok to let them go, we knew we were gambling a bit.  All of life is a bit of a gamble, sometimes greater odds, sometimes lesser.  It’s a sad, sad moment when the odds go bad and something like this happens.  The essay below says it better than I can, I encourage parents to read it.

So, why did I illustrate a quote about a dog?  I didn’t draw this to say I hope he has a dog.  I drew it because ‘blue’ can’t always be explained, even when it is so obvious, as in this case.  The pain, the suffering, the what ifs, the if onlys, the guilt, the loss, the anger, the hopelessness, the fear, the emptiness.  They can’t be listed out like that in a broken heart. They can’t be categorized and compartmentalized and logically explained one by one. I can imagine that is what one feels they must do when asked ‘why do you feel blue’.

Maybe it’s best to be like a dog, not ask why, even if we know what we think the answer will be, but just comfort and be.

You can google Gavin Powell to find more
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Drawing by Marty Coleman of The Napkin Dad Daily


Quote author unknown

Jan 29 0 comments
Death, education, Horace Mann, victory

>Vintage Saturday – Be Ashamed To Die

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A vintage napkin from 10 years ago. Drawn for my daughters and put in their lunches to take to High School.
Seems a bit harsh, but there is a very real regret I know I feel when I think about what I could have done vs what I actually did do over the years.  I think there has been a victory or two, so I won’t be ashamed to die.  But, just in case anyone is inclined to tell me I shouldn’t be so hard on myself, don’t worry, I am not.  I am just saying I sometimes wish I had done more.
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Drawing by Marty Coleman of The Napkin Dad Daily

Quote By Horace Mann, 1796-1859, American Education Reformer.  My daughters’ first school was named Horace Mann Elementary in San Jose, California.

Nov 30 6 comments
Death, George Carlin, suicide

>I Couldn't Commit Suicide if My Life Depended On It

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Yesterday I heard of a friend who is depressed and had suicidal thoughts.  Luckily she had already reached out for help from a good friend and had found a place to go to talk.  Her circumstances seem to be the catalyst in this case, as opposed to someone who is clinically depressed.  But either way it’s crucial for those in contact with those people to listen and be aware of hints, words, behaviors, that seem to indicate thoughts of suicide.

When I have come in contact with someone contemplating suicide I have always returned to this:  If you are alive, there is hope. If you are dead, there is not.  It doesn’t matter if you THINK there is hope.  It doesn’t matter if you THINK things will get better.  All that matters is that you ACT as if there is hope and that things will get better.  Be an actor, pretend your way through it.   

I don’t mean to be trite.  I don’t mean you shouldn’t get help, of course you should. And I don’t mean you don’t eventually want to get to the place where you actually have hope and believe things will get better.  But for now, you obviously do not think that. I can’t make you think it.  But actors don’t have to believe, they just have to act.  And acting is what will keep you alive until the help and hope comes about.

I am not talking about the pretending all is well when it isn’t.  I am not talking about living a lie, living in abuse, living in unbearable circumstances. I am talking about acting out a set of steps that will keep you alive.

First step, admit it to someone who you think has the best chance of helping you.  If that person doesn’t step up, keep going, find another person.  Don’t give up, don’t stop until that person has appeared.
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Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman of The Napkin Dad Daily

Quote by George Carlin, 1937-2008, American comedian and writer

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