Short Short Stories From the Cemetery

The Super Hero

 

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Earlier during my cemetery walkabout, right as the sun went down, I happened upon a lone superhero starting her overnight vigil overlooking the city. She was strong and disciplined. I asked her how she got to be a superhero. She said she always wanted to be one and found that the local university had it as a major. She graduated in 3 years with a major in SuperHero Studies and a minor in Civil Engineering. Her day job is with the Army Corp of Engineers.

 

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The Zombie Pirate Queen

 

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During my cemetery visit I also met the Zombie Pirate Queen. She was desperately looking for something more to eat. I pointed her in the direction of downtown, telling her the bar scene was hopping there and she should find someone to her liking. She thanked me and ran off, but not before giving me her business card, telling me to let my wife know she sold Avon on the side and could give her a free makeover.

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The Night Ninja

 

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I was taking a leisurely midnight stroll around the cemetery when I saw Jack and the Night Ninja doing a bit of competitive grave robbing. I told them they could get a lot more work done if they worked cooperatively instead, which they did. In the end they made their deadline and planned to meet later at IHOP for breakfast.

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The Night Ninja skulked around me for a while after she was done grave robbing. She wanted to know why I was taking photographs and if I worked for the NSA. I told her no, but I was lying. I finally got her off my back when I gave her a coupon I had to Ulta and told her they had a 50% off sale on eyeliner.

 

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Unfortunately for the Night Ninja she never did get to have breakfast at IHOP with Jack. She instead met her demise at the hands of the Corpse bride who, in spite of being all in white, surprised the Night Ninja while she was checking her Snapchat. The Bride had just been left at the alter and hadn’t eaten all day so Night Ninja had an unfortunate end.

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Sally and Jack

 

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I met Sally in a corner of the cemetery where she was waiting for her blind date. She had been set up by her Sorority sister, Drusilla, with her younger brother. She was quite scared of being alone in the cemetery and was happy to know there were others around. When her date, Jack, showed up out of the dark, hand first, she got so scared she peed a little.

 

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Later in the evening I saw Sally and Jack enjoying a romantic moment sitting on a tomb.  Jack had a big smile but Sally was worried about finding a bathroom.

 

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The Lady in Black

 

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When I arrived at the cemetery she was the first person I came across.  But she said nothing, she just looked watched me as I passed.  Wherever I went, she was nearby, ever silent, ever watching.  After the night was over I finally got up the nerve to talk to her.  I asked her what she was doing in the cemetery.  She stared at me intently, never blinking and said, “I am your eternal witness that these events were real.”

 

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© 2014 Marty Coleman – All Rights Reserved

In The City – Journey to Blog World #8

My first travel napkin of my trip to speak at Blog World in NYC.

Amanda in NYC

I did the usual thing when you are alone at a social media conference and tweeted to the Blog World crowd asking who wanted to get a bite to eat before the opening party. Rzaz, Sus, and Apdo responded and off we went to find good Thai food.

We were all strangers so we told our ‘Why are you at Blog World?’ stories. When I told about me as the Napkin Dad Apdo picked up a restaurant napkin and exclaimed, so you could just draw on this one if you want, right? I took up the challenge and came up with this of Apdo in the city listening to a little bird.

After dinner we saw this.

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Then we mosied over to the opening party where I introduced my new friends to some of the people I met at Blog World LA in November. They made some great connections and I met someone from Bulgaria.

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Procrastination Positive – Journey to Blog World #6

See, I told you procrastination was a good thing…Wait, I MEANT to tell you but I didn’t get around to it, sorry.

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Type P vs Type A

It’s true, for all the angst and wringing of hands over procrastination it’s really important to discern when you are being a ‘procrastinating’ person and when you are being a ‘hundred mile an hour control freak type A Energizer bunny who is going to have a heart attack if you don’t slow down a bit’ person.

Seeing and Knowing

How do you know the difference? When you are the latter type you get injured.  You get burnt out, you hurt yourself and others, you hate your life, you don’t see the big picture, you don’t see the small picture.  You barely see anything at all. If you are the former type, a true procrastinator, then you see the world passing by and you are too afraid, too lazy, too paralyzed, to oblivious to your true self to take a step.

Be it Resolved

Be honest and look at yourself, you do know which one you are.  Your world will not collapse if you admit it to yourself or others. All the others already know the truth anyway, you really just have to admit it to yourself.

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Drawing by Marty Coleman, who is Type P.

Quote by Ellen DeGeneres, who has to quit stalking me.

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The Dying and the Undone – Journey to Blog World #4

I put it off as long as I could, but it’s day #4 of the Procrastination series and of my journey to Blog World NY to talk about it.

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Dying and the Worst Fear

When I think about dying my worst fear is that all the artwork I have done over the decades will be lost. That it will be so disorganized, so hard to find and sort through, that no one will want to do it and it will just disappear eventually.  I have a lot of things I want to get done still, but I have done a lot of things so far and I want them recorded and stored in a way that others can see or hear about them later.

Technology

I have to leave things undone each day, and many days I leave them undone on purpose because I don’t feel like working so hard at it.  But in the end I keep coming back to my tasks, both the current art creation tasks and the cataloging and organizing of my prior work. It’s not as if it’s going to end since as soon as I get everything organized on CD or DVD another technology comes along that demands it be done all over again.  For example, I have been going through old family photos this past Memorial Day weekend and I came across a floppy disk full of images. That was modern and safe at one point but now it’s ancient technology I can’t access without spending money on it. 

What is your greatest fear in dying and do you put off dealing with it? Why so?

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Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman, whose many scribbles are unaccounted for.

Quote by Pablo Picasso, whose every scribble is pretty much accounted for.

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