So, does that mean those who hold grudges, keep resentment inside (or out) don’t understand? I would think if you tried to argue with them that they should forgive someone they might say ‘but you don’t understand!’ What is that all about?
I am in a long productive conversation with a friend who also happens to be a Pastor. And we were talking about the Governor Spitzer case and how is wife was standing up there with him during his mea culpa. One question is: Does showing some level of forgiveness, albeit only on the surface, by standing up with him send a message that what that person did was ok?
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“To understand everything is to forgive everything” – Gautama Buddha (maybe)
>i think getting a hold of the universality of the human condition— that we really are the same, underneath it all– that enables forgiveness. when you realize that in a different life, or on a different day, you could have just as easily been that guy screwing YOU over, instead of being screwed yourself… it doesn’t seem so bad.
>I think that is really true.
Kurt Vonnegut told this great story about when he was a soldier. He saw an ‘enemy’ run out of a building desperately trying to keep his pants from falling down. He so understood this action and the funny but embarrassing situation of that man that the man was suddenly not an ‘other’ but a ‘like’.
I definitely think that when you understand someone you sympathize with them. That’s why it’s easy to be prejudiced against a group of people, but that prejudice breaks down when you talk to an individual of that group and understand why they think and act the way they do. (Not that you end up agreeing with them, but just understanding them better) The truly horrific actions in this world are ones we can’t understand, they are ‘senseless’ acts of violence.
>A hard decision – to stand in forgiveness and support, or not to stand so you avoid an impression that the behavior is somehow less than devestating with . I would love to hear what folks think about that too!
Understanding sure does help bring forgiveness…I wonder if that is why soldiers are taught to dehumanize the enemy – so they are then able to kill them. You never have a chance to know or understand them – they are objectified as a target vs. a person. If you were able to actually know and understand them you might start to sympathize with at some level and possibly forgive them (!) vs. hate and blame and destroy them. Would love to see that day come.