I was midway through drawing this napkin this morning when I realized I have a problem.  No, not my ‘have to run to the bathroom problem’, another problem.  This one revolves around this quote. Within a well-balanced person this quote can take hold and be of value.  You try to find the best in others, but because you want to be improving as you move forward in life, you know it’s a good idea to be aware of and figure out how to cope with, your vices.  You already know your virtues, you don’t really need to go searching for them.

But I don’t live in a world of well-balanced people.  I live in a world of terribly imbalanced people.  How so you ask?  Because so many of the people I know are already obsessed with their vices and ‘flaws’. That is all they see in themselves. They see the speck of dust in the corner of the room, not the entire beautiful home they live in.  They see the pinch of fat on their tush, not the great shape they are in. They are obsessed with guilt about what they did or didn’t do, how they don’t match up, why they haven’t accomplished what they want, how they let someone down, how they look.

They don’t see their value, their contribution, their beauty (inner and outer), their humor, their impact, their wisdom, their sexiness, their progress.  The reflection in their mirror is not the flower they are.

Can I, or you, do anything about this?  I sometimes think I can, and other times I think whatever I do will be minimal at best.  But we really only have 3 choices, right?  1) we can ignore it, just let it be.  2) we can agree with them, backing up their skewed version of reality. 3) We can do our best to help them see what they can’t see themselves, yet.  

I choose #3.  I will always choose #3.  If I am successful in helping them, cool. If I am not, I know I have tried and perhaps my effort might still help out further down the road, the way lessons to a child often are understood many years later in life.

Drawing and commentary © Marty Coleman


“Search others for their virtues, thy self for thy vices.” – Benjamin Franklin, 1706-1790, American printer, publisher, writer, politician, scientist, inventor, statesman, soldier, and diplomat.