I am burning to tell you it’s day #2 of Marriage week!
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Making Fire
A friend of mine, Natalie Tucker and her husband, from Glenelg, South Australia, recently went ‘glamping’ as she calls it, meaning camping without the roughing it. Even though I am not sure they had a fire and I AM sure it wasn’t out in the woods like the drawing even if they did (I saw a picture, they had a lawn at their campsite) hearing of their adventure made me connect when I found this quote about marriage. The end of the quote (which I didn’t include because it seemed obvious) compares the well built fire, with it’s closeness and it’s distance, to a well built marriage, which needs the same combination.
I also recently had a conversation with a friend who mentioned another friend who is considering divorce, the reason being that she has grown in directions, and in ways, that her husband hasn’t and/or doesn’t seem to understand or support. Her changes have led to them growing apart. I hear about this happening all the time and the one constant always seems to be not growing together. It’s not because they are doing different things, having different hobbies. It’s because they aren’t sharing those things with each other. It could be they are hiding something. They perhaps are afraid of a negative reaction. The other person might actively reject hearing about it. Or it could be they just forget to talk about things and before you know it they are so far down a road it seems impossible to backtrack and let the other person in on it.
It’s not an easy situation to be in and I certainly don’t think there is a simple solution. But at it’s essence, a relationship is about communication. If you aren’t interested or willing to communicate about who you are and the life you lead, then there is a pretty good chance you will have an empty marriage or no marriage at all.
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Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman, who last went camping in 2002.
Quote is my variation on one by Marnie Reed Crowell, 1939 – not dead yet, American writer
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You are just so clever. Thank you for the advice, it is well worth thinking about.
Thanks Natalie! hearing about your adventure then seeing this quote today, it all sort of fell into place. Like I said, it can be hard to stay connected with each other’s lives but it is an essential element to marriage success I think.