We are going to the Belmont Stakes. We were going to watch Triple Crown history, or so we thought.
The potential Triple Crown winner, ‘I’ll Have Another’ was scratched from the race today. Expectations and anticipation are dashed. What is that really about but us humans constructing a world in our mind that hasn’t happened yet. Horses don’t do that. I am glad I am a human, not a horse. But I sometimes like having a horse’s enjoyment of the here and now.
Are you able to deal with expectations well? How?
Seven years ago, I was told by the pastor of the church where I was raised that the organist’s position was available if I wanted it. I was thrilled beyond expectation. Then the music director called to say the pastor was premature in offering this to me. I had wanted it since the age of four, when I heard the organ for the first time.
I was devastated. For a full night and day I couldn’t sleep, eat or even function. Then I realized I was not in charge, and neither was the pastor nor the music director. I began to pray that God’s will, no matter what, would be done. If I was to have this coveted position for which I dreamed for almost seventy years, God was in charge.
The phone rang about that time. The music director said he wanted me to play for a choir rehearsal and the Sunday morning service and see how we worked together. Instead of being elated, I was ambivalent. My husband was working on the organ, attempting to repair the damage from ten years of no maintenance. He is also an organist, with a degree in organ performance and had been a concert organist. After I played Sunday, the music director asked me to return. The pastor had introduced me as the new organist and the music director said his reluctance in hiring me was that Keith and I both had music degrees and he was afraid we might try to take over the music program. Since our first conversation, he found out who I was, that I had grown up there, my mother was still a member and I had taken lessons on that organ many years before. He said he prayed about it and felt we might be able to work together. I told him everything I played was to God’s glory — not mine, and gave him a resume of my experience as an accompanist.
We’ve had a wonderful relationship. I respect him and regard him as one of the best directors for whom I’ve worked. Keith keeps the old organ going and is there in case of an emergency cipher, power outage, or anything that happens to the organ (or organist). He also keeps it in tune as well as all of the pianos. I didn’t handle the disappointment as I should. That was the greatest expectation I ever had.
I will retire where I started. I learned to “Wait on the Lord; wait patiently for Him, and He will give you the desires of your heart.”