I did a marriage series in 2012 but found some new quotes recently so I decided to add to it.

Faults? What Faults?

This can be taken as anti-wife. The wife as a nag, as a critic, as someone who is always wanting to change the man into her version of who he should be.  The faults aren’t real, they are simply things she doesn’t like.  Many husbands would say their wives fit this characterization.  Without a change the husband is going to withdraw into depression, crack or divorce.  They are not happy husbands.

Yes, Your Faults

This can be taken as anti-husband.  The husband is an oblivious oaf who has not clue how rude, insensitive, lazy, sexist and unfeeling he is. The faults actually are real and they need to be addressed.  Many wives would say their husbands fit this characterization.  Without a change the wife is going to withdraw into depression, crack or divorce.  They are not happy wives.

Fault Control

In my experience, more wives than husbands tend to think they are indispensable.  That if they don’t do it, no one will, especially the husband, and the family will fall apart.  If you are that wife, ask yourself this question. What if I died today?  Will the world go on? Will your sons and daughters get dressed and go to school without your help or will they stay in their pajamas, unfed, all day long?  The answer is, they will get to school. They may have a mismatched set of socks, but they will get to school.  Life will suck for a while but there is a very good chance they will recover, your husband will recover, and they will survive.  You are close to indispensable, but you are not.  Your understanding of control should reflect that reality.

Fault Ego 

But are the husbands not responsible in all this?  Yes, they are responsible.  I often go back and forth between doing what my wife wants me to do (and thinking I am doing it because of that) and doing what I want to do.  And what do I find? I find that they really aren’t that far apart at all.  So my wife asked me to change the kitty litter.  Do I really think if she wasn’t around I wouldn’t ever change the kitty litter? If I am the stunted mental age of a 12 year old maybe. But I, and all other husbands, are not. We are adults.  We are going to change the kitty litter. So, if she reminds me or I get to it first, who cares?  She is not a nag when she is helping you do what you would do anyway.  That person is called a partner.

See the entire series all at one time by clicking this magic word: Marriage
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Drawing by Marty Coleman

Quote is Anonymous

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