What Enslaves Us
I found this quote yesterday and decided to use it on my morning’s napkin. I have my own things I am, or have been, slave to in my life, including a few on the list below. But I was interested in what others had to say about this topic so I posted the following question on Facebook:
Question: I am drawing a napkin today about what we are slaves to. What are you now, or have you been, slave to? What about others you know? Family traits, cultural?
Here is a list of the answers people talked about.
- Alcohol
- Insecurities
- Depression
- Anxiety
- Clichés
- Cell Phone
- Nothing
- Love
- Changing environment
- Government
- Voices in my head
- Petroleum
- The scale
- Rules
- Urgency
- Perfectionism
- Controlling things
- Consumerism
- Righteousness
- Fear
- Death
- My boss
- Need to please
- Society standards
- Work
- Beauty
- Guilt
- Masturbation
- Expectations
- Responsibilities
And finally,
- Chocolate
Do you have others to add? It would make me happy if you would do so in the comments.
Rule Breaker/Rule Keeper
Out of that list I chose to illustrate the idea of ‘rules’. It seemed to me that most, if not all, the items on that list came back to our dealing with rules. Rules we either think we should or should not obey. Rules cover a lot.
I have family members and good friends who see themselves as rule keepers. They feel they are able to control their lives adequately by following the rules of society, government, work, and the rules in their own head. In most cases it seems to work for them. But I also know they get incredibly stressed out at times trying to follow all these rules. It’s draining because many of them are arbitrary, don’t contribute to actual goodness, and just make no sense. And yet they still obey those rules.
I also have family members and good friends who see themselves as rule breakers (myself included). They feel it gives them a freedom and a creativity to face the world with enthusiasm and fun. In most cases it works for them. But they also can get in trouble, or cause trouble, in situations where the trouble doesn’t help anyone. It’s not the positive trouble-making I mentioned a few days ago regarding entrepreneurs, it’s the trouble that comes from being oblivious to the benefits rules give to them and others. They break them without purpose, just to do it, or just ‘for fun’ without realizing how it may hurt themselves and others. And yet they still break the rules.
Some are in both camps. They are rule keepers to the world around them, but rule breakers secretly. We all are a bit like that I think, but some are so torn between the two that their public face and their private face have nothing in common. I believe that is a very dangerous place to be.
Why Polish?
Knowing what we are enslaved by is all well and good, but if we are interested in overcoming our slavery then the next, equally important question, is:
How and why do we ‘polish the chain’ that enslaves us? What causes us to do that?
What’s your answer?
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Drawing and questions by Marty Coleman, Answers by the Napkin Kin
Quote by Marcel Mariën, 1920-1993, Belgian Surrealist
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I’m a definite rule-breaker 😀
Not a slave over here to anything but instagram and I’m okay with that. The internet is my playground and I’d only spend a couple of hours a day in between doing work, ok instead of doing work. Because I ain’t no slave. My bosses know I’m not a slave to time either *hehe* but I work my booty off when there so I don’t get reprimanded. Reading this post makes me feel less alone, but also kinda special. I am free.
And I’m not polishing with material possessions and extra weight. I’m gonna roam man.
Awesome topic.
Ebony, keep chain free, baby! Well, besides work and instagram and internet and possessions and weight and…
It is true though that being chained down to something you love isn’t really being chained down at all unless it’s destroying some other vital aspect of you life.
Guess a clean, polished chain is somehow more endurable than an old and rusty one?
So it seems. The real question of course is whether the time spent polishing the chain might be better served trying to cut through it and take it off, right? That’s pretty scary for some.
We watched ’12 Years a Slave’ this weekend and that was a recurring motif, the slave who worked on polishing their chains and the slave who didn’t.
Great to hear from you Agnes, I have been wondering how your life has been going this winter!
How?
We focus on it. Polishing by thinking about, talking about, giving it too much attention and dwelling upon XYZ until it’s polished to a glaring shine like the sun reflecting in your eyes. It’s hard to see past it and when you look away the after-image continues to distort your vision for a while.
Why?
The simplest thing I can think of is that it’s easy. Much easier to indulge and immerse ourselves in the XYZ that enslaves us than it is to actually make the changes needed to eliminate the chain.
That’s my take on it.
Leah
Leah, great points, thanks for that. It’s like the take on the old saying,’The pain we know is safer than the pain we don’t know.’ We have a certain comfort in our familiar pain. We think we know it’s parameters, ‘I know he will only hit me so hard’ or ‘I can indulge in these many drinks and still be ok in the morning.’ But the truth is the parameters always change and we forget the prior ones and reformulate so the new parameters are ones we think we can handle. Until we can’t. And when we can’t, we end up dead, or wasted, or alone, or poverty stricken or some other thing we can’t explain away.
And why do we do that? Exactly the reason you gave. It’s easier than giving it up and figuring out what to replace it with.
I hadn’t heard that saying but it’s certainly true. Old and familiar is safe and predictable, but it slowly sucks the life out of you.
Leah, yes it does suck the life out of you. That is why being aware of one’s own weaknesses and inclinations as well as strengths, is so important. No one is going to protect you quite as thoroughly as youself, IF you are paying attention and are honest.
I am expecting to have all this down pat around age 80 or so. Maybe.
And owning up to those strengths and weaknesses too. That’s tricky.
80 sounds like a reasonable age to have those things down pat. 🙂
Owning who you are, good and bad, and not making excuses or rationalizations…that is the key to maturity in my book. Not easy, but the alternative of living a life of denial and blaming others is harder in the long run.