I am picking today to be #2 in the Pain and Suffering series.
Pick Your Pain
I pick my scalp. My father did as well. My mother and sisters would tell him not to. My wife and daughters do the same to me on occasion. My response? I don’t stop for long. Why? Because I like picking my scalp. I like picking because I like the little bit of feeling, the pain, attached to it, among other things.
Picking a scab might lead to infection, it might bleed a bit too much. We all get that, but we do it anyway. Why? Because we like it. We like the pain because we know it is controlled. We know the pain won’t kill us (the infection might, yes, but the pain won’t). We know it will only go so deep. It’s the same reason we press a bruise or a sore spot on our body after we have exercised hard. We are testing the pain, seeing how painful it is. And that pain feels good because we know we can relieve the pain easy enough by just stopping.
Choose, Self-inflict, Repeat
Why are we so ready to repeat pain but not pleasure? To me the answer is simple, we don’t have any guilt with pain. Pleasure can make us feel indulgent, selfish. But how can you feel indulgent and selfish when you are feeling pain? It isn’t nearly as likely.
That’s why we have so many quasi-martyrs in the world who love to advertise their suffering. That’s why the ‘fruits of the spirit’ in the bible include ‘long-suffering’ but not ‘long-pleasuring’. We don’t unleash moral condemnation on pain and suffering, do we.
True Danger
There are times when self-inflicting pain really is dangerous and life threatening though. Self-loathing and self-hating can lead to inflicting pain that can have permanent and even fatal consequences. Sometimes to others as well as yourself. I wish I had the answer as to way we do that. All I know is it’s way too frequent among those I love.
What are your thoughts on it?
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Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman
Quote by F. Scott Fitzgerald, 1896-1940, American author
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