This isn’t going away and I am wanting to talk about it.
Isla Vista
To even be talking about this is disappointing. The world is filled with men who don’t believe women should use their mind to make up their own mind about things. To pursue relationships or not, to pursue careers or living arrangements or travel or money or style or design or art or a million other things.
If you have any doubt you need go no farther than the town of Isla Vista, next door to the UC Santa Barbara campus in California. I lived in Isla Vista while attending UCSB back in the 70s and the shooting there is particularly disturbing because of the familiarity with all the places they are mentioning as the shooter rampaged around the town.
A young man killed 6 people on a rampage against women. He killed two members of the Tri-Delt sorority standing nearby after failing to get into the Alpha Phi sorority he wanted to attack or the toll of women would have been much worse. He killed 4 men but he was not enraged about men, they were unfortunate to be where they were, not targeted because of their gender.
Veronika and Katie
But the two women were, not because of them as individuals but because of their gender. The women, Veronika Weiss and Katie Cooper, were targeted because the murderer felt he was unfairly rejected by women. It’s unclear if he ever attempted to actually date any women, all that is known now is he claimed to be a virgin and blamed women for his inability to have sex with them.
Rape Culture
He was involved online with a group that is virulently anti-women. They portray them all as sluts and whores who manipulate and deceive for their own advancement and pleasure. They are not to be trusted but to be manipulated themselves into having sex with these men. Why? Because the men deserve to have sex with them. Why do they deserve it? Because they are men and women are supposed to do what men want of them.
Under the Radar
This is under the radar in the US most of the time. You don’t hear about these groups and their attitudes directly. But you do hear about date rape often enough and where does that come from but the same mind set of deserving the sex.
On the Radar
It is not under the radar however in other countries. The newspaper just this morning had an article about a woman having been stoned to death in front of a courthouse in Pakistan by her father, brothers and fiance. Why? Because she married a man she loved instead of the man her family told her she must marry. In other words, she had her own mind and followed it. And the men in her family and in the society don’t want that to happen. They don’t want women with a mind of their own, just as the murderer in Isla Vista didn’t want women who would or could reject his advances if they wanted to. They, as the victim in Pakistan, were obligated to obey the man and not have the power to make their own decisions about the matter.
Avoidance
What do I think is the solution? Heck if I know the big answer. But I know one small answer. Never, EVER spend substantial time and effort on a man who does not respect your intelligence. If he doesn’t respect your mind, he doesn’t respect you. Period. And it will come out. And when it does, it won’t be pretty. Much better to stay away from the beginning.
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Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman
Quote by Mignon McLaughlin, 1913-1983, American journalist and author
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