Don’t be insulted but it’s the last day of The Illustrated Insult.
The ‘Slut’
There once was a woman, Natalie, who found out, second hand through her friend Sandy, that another friend, Lisa, had called her a slut. This was said because Natalie had gone out on a date with Ben, who bragged to a mutual friend, Sam, about his conquest. Sam in turn told Lisa. Lisa was upset about this and and ranted to Sandy. Sandy then mentioned it to Natalie at a party the next night.
Response #1
Natalie was hurt by this. The reason she was hurt was she knew that Ben had lied. He had not ‘conquered’ her (meaning had sex with her). She also knew he had told Sam he had done so as to make Natalie look bad. She didn’t know why, but he obviously hated her for some reason. Sam had to hate her too and also wanted to wreck her reputation. As a matter of fact all four of her ‘friends’ weren’t her friends at all, they hated her.
Natalie left the party, cried long into the night and isolated herself for the rest of the weekend. She stayed distant from them all and others in her circle of friends. When she did return to the fold she wasn’t the same. She remained angry and eventually she drifted away from the group and spent the rest of her year pretty much on her own. She found it hard to make friends for a long time, always suspicious that her trust was misplaced.
Response #2
Natalie was hurt by this. The reason she was hurt was she knew that Ben had lied. He had not ‘conquered’ her (meaning had sex with her). But she also knew he had told Sam he had done so as to make himself look good. She didn’t know why, but he obviously felt inferior to Sam and wanted to prove himself somehow. It wasn’t good that he had lied, but she felt bad that he would go to such lengths. He had some issues he needed to deal with that had nothing to do with her. She know that Sam always felt on the edge of the group of friends. Him finding out about this supposed conquest would give him an in with a girl he had a crush on, Lisa, so it made sense he would tell her. This also wasn’t good, but it certainly didn’t say anything about how he felt about her. She knew Lisa had just had a pregnancy scare earlier in the year and had preached to her about making sure she didn’t make the same mistake she had made. Now Lisa had heard Natalie HAD made the same mistake and so had likely just gone off on a rant, calling her a slut the same way she had been called a slut by some just a few months earlier. Natalie also knew Lisa had a short temper and that her parents were extremely judgmental of almost everyone. Natalie also knew Sandy was everyone’s confidant and she would listen to anything. The fact that Sandy had told her what Lisa said was more about Sandy thinking she was being a friend that it was her trying to hurt anyone.
Natalie stayed at the party. When Ben showed up she brought him aside and told him what she had heard. She looked him straight in the eye and told him that not only was their friendship over but she would expect to hear from Sam, Lisa and Sandy that he had gone to them all and said he had lied. She doubted he would really do that but she wanted him to know she was in control, not him. She eventually talked to Sam and Lisa, explaining what actually happened. She left it at that. It made her a bit wary of her friends for a while but she not only kept their friendship over time but rose high in their eyes as a woman of character and someone they admired and trusted.
Rejecting Injury
How did Natalie reject this injury? She did it by assuming the best motives and understanding the weaknesses of her friends. She approached them, in spite of the hurt, with love and kindness instead of hatred and anger.
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Drawing and Story by Marty Coleman
Quote by Marcus Aurelius, 121AD – 180AD, Roman Emperor, Stoic Philosopher
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Reject your sense of injury and the injury itself disappears