Laugh all you want, but today is day #1 of the Laughter series.
Men, I Tell Ya
I recently became more active in a Dad Blogger’s Facebook group. One thing I noticed was how much ribbing goes on there. It’s not that men aren’t asking or talking about serious questions, or that they aren’t opening up about sensitive things, they are. And there are plenty of answers and discussions that are equally serious, sensitive and helpful. Guys are surprisingly vulnerable there, mostly because they know they will be heard and not condemned as they might in another venue. But they also know that within all the sensitivity and helpfulness there is going to be some serious making fun of them. There will be some ‘what a wimp’ or ‘Man, your wife is one unlucky woman’ type statements. The men who put themselves out there and get those sorts of responses understand that within this group, cracking a joke, especially at their expense, is an essential part of the bonding and fun between everyone. It can go on and on and on for days.
The One Liner
BUT, right along side this ribbing are some truly sensitive, helpful, vulnerable and positive responses, from the same men who are doing the ribbing. This can happen while the group rallies to raise money for one of the guys with cancer. This happens when one of the guys is blindsided by a wife asking for a divorce. Truly terrible and heart rending situations that the men take seriously. But they also know a good one liner when they hear one and will often insert it because, well, how could you waste a perfectly good one liner just because a guy is getting a divorce, right? The truth is that guy getting a divorce, the one devastated and demolished? He understands that and, from what I have seen so far, truly appreciates the camaraderie and brotherhood exhibited by the joking. He knows the deep care that is there and that makes the joke (even a lame one) something that draws them closer, not farther, from each other.
Women Being Made Fun Of
This group pretty much backs up a belief I have. Men, in my experience, can take a joke better than most women. Men get ribbed more and understand in advance that it is not likely that the ribbing is serious. Even if it is serious, they know best way to respond is to laugh it off and allow others to laugh at your expense. Women, more sensitive in general (in my opinion), and less likely to have been around a world where making fun of someone is done with affection, are hurt by this sort of ribbing. They take it personally and feel unloved and uncared for when it happens.
Danger
Having said that, when someone does not take ribbing or being made fun of well, it will likely be a man who overreacts and does something seriously stupid and/or dangerous. A woman might get depressed about it all but a man can, and too often does, get angry and violent. Their ego and pride has been bruised, they want revenge, they want to get even. I am not saying women never have that reaction, just that it’s more likely that men will react that way. This is the downside of the male being made fun of.
This dilemma is illustrated by another napkin drawing I did a number of months ago. Click in the napkin to go to that blog post.
The Key
The key in my mind is learn that it’s ok to be made fun of, you will survive it. You will survive it even better if you take it with a grain of salt and let it go.
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Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman
Quote (first napkin) is Anonymous
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