Prologue
She didn’t like her shoes. She worried they didn’t go with her skirt. Her husband said they looked good together but she wasn’t sure.
Chapter One
When Sonya arrived at Starbucks he was already there. She noticed his shirt first since it was the same color as her shoes. He didn’t see her since he was facing away and writing in what looked like some sort of notebook calendar type thing. It was hot out so she walked behind him without saying anything and stood in line. She stared at his head because he had gray hair and she was surprised by that. He looked old because of it but then again not that old because his hair was full. She thought it was probably thicker than hers.
Dennis was annoyed she was late. He had arrived a minute early and had already been there 6 minutes. That meant she was 5 minutes late, not a good sign as far as he was concerned. He started writing notes in his calendar book, hoping to get rid of his annoyance. It wasn’t working. In addition he hated the shirt his wife had picked out for him. He hated the baby blue color. He hated the buttons. He hated the scratchy label in the collar.
Chapter Two
Sonya got herself an iced cherry something or other, she wasn’t sure what it was called. But she liked the color and that usually was a good enough sign that she would like it. She walked over to Dennis’ table, speaking and putting her hand on his back as she passed. He jumped as she did that. He hated to be touched. He tried to hide his scowl but she caught a glimpse of it as she turned around to sit down. She smile and introduced herself, holding out her hand to shake his. She could tell his smile was forced as he reached out his hand. His hand was cold and clammy and his grip was non-existent, as if he was a young boy who hadn’t learned to grip yet. She got a creepy feeling from him.
Dennis was startled when he felt the hand on his back. Then this loud grating voice startled him even more. The touch, the voice then the face all all told him in about 15 seconds that he wasn’t going to hire her. She had straggly hair, too much eyeliner and eyeshadow that was a weird color. He couldn’t imagine her fitting in at the office. He could see his secretary making fun of her and the maintenance guy trying to hit on her. He could see his assistant not wanting to work with her.
Chapter Three
Sonya smiled as big and as often as she could. She told her testimony of how she became a Christian at the age of 17 after her mother had died. Dennis interrupted her constantly during her story, asking her theological questions about what it was she actually believed when she converted. He asked a number of questions about Calvinism, which she didn’t really understand at all. He was so focused on that he didn’t even acknowledge the loss of her mother. She continued to tell about her faith journey and how it led to her wanting to work in the missions area of the church he pastored. But she was getting angrier and angrier underneath the facade because not only did he keep interrupting but he wouldn’t look her in the eye. He did however look at her chest way too much. When he started talking he wouldn’t shut up. He bragged about his Christian journey, about his 3 degrees in Theology, about the increase in attendance, about how many times he had been on TV in the last year. She was hating the interview and starting to hate him.
Dennis had to go through the motions of interviewing her but he wanted to make sure she had no doubt she was not a good fit by the end of it. He pressed her on important theological questions that she could not answer. He told stories about his church that she should have responded to with enthusiasm. The fact that she didn’t showed she was self-absorbed with her own overly sappy story. She would not be able to see the church had to take priority over her autobiographical obsession. No matter how hard he tried though she kept wanting it to be all about her. He smiled and said all the right Christian things but inside he was starting to hate her.
Chapter Four
Sonya left the interview very worried. She needed the job and had felt God was calling her to it until she had met Dennis. He seemed creepier as the interview went on. She could see him trying to hit on her. When she got home she realized she hadn’t once thought about her shoes.
Dennis left the interview annoyed. He needed to fill the job and really did think Sonya was the perfect candidate until he met her. She seemed sloppy (she had a stain on her green jacket that he couldn’t not look at. Her Christianity was immature and overly emotional. She did her makeup worse than his daughter did. When he got back to his office he realized he hadn’t once thought about his annoying shirt.
Epilogue
Sonya eventually got a job as a secretary to a Roller Derby team, the Banford Banshees. She helped them get organized with social media and their attendance rose 3 fold in just 2 months. She got a tattoo of a screaming banshee on her butt.
Dennis left his church for a new pastoral position in Beaumont Falls. He served that congregation loyally until the voted him out due to declining attendance. He became depressed until he got a job selling shoes at the mall. Women loved how he put high heels on them.
The End
Drawing and story © 2015 Marty Coleman | napkindad.com
If you would like to read more illustrated short stories you can find them in the ‘Sketchbook’ drop down menu above.