If you feel I give good things to you via The Napkin, would you do me the favor of commenting on and voting for my workshop proposal for SXSW 2016?http://panelpicker.sxsw.com/vote/55965You do have to register into the SXSW site but that is so they won’t be overwhelmed by spammers. It is not an obligation to do, attend or buy anything. Thank you very much, Marty
Communications
My increasing use of Periscope has made me think a lot about communication lately so I am starting a new series on it this week.
Who We Are
Have you ever listened to someone who is so grating, so annoying that you just can’t stand to listen to them? It really doesn’t matter what they say, you pay no attention because all you can think of is wanting them to shut up. You can’t hear what they are saying.
Or perhaps you are up late at night watching a televangelist or a informercial and you hate it but still watch it. It’s like watching a car wreck. You want to turn away because it’s ugly and gruesome but you want to watch to see how bad it may get. But while doing that you aren’t actually listening to the message or the product qualities, you are only watching for the perverse entertainment value. You can’t hear what they are saying.
Preconceived Notions
Sometimes the person hasn’t said a word yet and you already have decided not to listen to him or her. It could be because you are prejudice against them due to their race or gender. Maybe it’s because they are in a certain political party or on a certain TV or Radio station. But whatever the case you aren’t open to hearing what they have to say.
Open Mind
I’ve listened to enough Fox News to know they are not my cup of tea. When I heard they were going to put on the first Republican debate of the 2016 election cycle I did not have high expectations. When it became obvious Donald Trump was going to be front and center in that debate I didn’t have high expectations either. But what I did have was an open mind. I was willing to watch the debate and hear all of them, in spite of some reservations about both the news channel and the candidates.
I would still not consider myself a fan of Fox News. But I am a fan of how the three people did their jobs as journalists asking questions. I thought they were tough and to the point. They exceeded my expectations, especially Megyn Kelly.
I was not a fan of Donald Trump before the debate and I am still not a fan. He lived up to my preexisting opinion of him, which is; take away the money and fame and you are looking at an insensitive, simplistic, bullying brute. Put him in overalls and give him a wad of tobacco instead of being in a bespoke suit and tie and he would be considered the worst cartoon stereotype of a backward, uneducated and mean-spirited hick you could find.
In both cases though I was open to having my opinion changed. I was not so set against something or someone that I was unwilling to consider what it is they actually said. I heard what they said and I made my judgment.
Their Fault, My Fault
I do my best to hear what a person has to say but I am not always able to do that. Sometimes there is just too much of ‘who they are’ in the way. But my effort, in spite of not always succeeding, is to take that out of the equation as best I can.
Of course, I want people to hear me clearly as well. I hate the idea that someone will not hear me because I have a bad reputation or because they have some negative memory of me. That is my fault and I have to live with it. If that is something I can control going forward then I want to control it.
But if someone can’t hear me because I am a man, or an older man, or white, or middle class, or American, or not their version of Christian or something else that has to do with their prejudice more than who I am, then I have to let that go. I can be sensitive to not live up to certain stereotypes of course, but I am going to have the best outcome by being the best me I can be, not by fighting every possible prejudice there might be against me.
I am once again proposing a workshop for SXSW 2016. I was accepted and presented in 2014 and would like to do it again in 2016.
If you have been reading my blog lately you know I have been doing a lot of Periscoping (live video broadcasting with chat interaction). I am proposing the idea below and it’s been put up for the SXSW community to review, comment and vote on. I would deeply appreciate it if you would take the time to go over to their site to comment and vote. Comments, particularly ones focused on how you have been helped creatively by me (whether in Periscopes or not), would be especially helpful.
I feel I give a lot of value in art, writing, ideas and inspiration via The Napkin. I hope you feel the same and that if you do you will take a moment to help me out.
Thank you for your continued attention and appreciation of this site and my work!
Oriole had her first one person show at the Gallery Heron.
Chapter One
Oriole got the skirt she wore to the opening at ‘Upscale Retail’ a consignment shop in the fancy part of town. Her sister, Wren, said the skirt looked great on her and that she had the perfect blouse to go along with it. They went over to their mother’s house and found the blouse in spare bedroom closet. Oriole wasn’t at all sure the two went together but her mother, Robin, said that contrasting patterns was the new thing and it looked great. Their little sister, Myna, thought it looked stupid but she thought everything looked stupid so they paid no attention to her.
Chapter Two
Oriole had her friend, Ibis, do her hair and make up. She had been a hair stylist and cosmotologist before she had triplets. She told Oriole that the striped hair was the newest thing and that a dark circle of rouge on the apple of her cheek was also a new trend (she called it rouge instead of blush, trying to be old fashioned).
Chapter Three
Oriole was at the gallery an hour early. She wanted to make sure the paintings were hung correctly and that the food was laid out just right. She found that the piece called ‘Balls’ was hung next to the piece called ‘Hose’ and it shouldn’t have been. She didn’t like the sexual innuendo of the two of them side by side because neither painting was really about sex at all.
Chapter Four
She went to find the gallery owner, Miss Heron, and complained to her. But Miss Heron said it was too late to change the location of either painting. She reassured Oriole that no one would notice that they were next to each other and to just not worry about. Oriole was nervous but agreed to let them stay where they were.
Chapter Five
The opening was a big success. Many people came to it and 4 paintings sold. There were many compliments on the food. Three people said they liked her skirt. Nobody mentioned the two paintings next to each other, though Oriole did see two girls laughing while looking at them. Her family came, including her Aunt LittleHawk, who had gone on a spiritual retreat in Navajo territory and changed her name from Fiona Finch.
Chapter Six
Two days later Oriole was awakened by a call from Ms. Heron, the gallery owner. She told her to get the newspaper and look at the front page of the ‘Art Scene’ section. She said there was a big photo of her welcoming the guests at the opening and a rave review alongside it. Oriole didn’t get the newspaper so she had to get dressed and go downstairs to the corner store to buy a few copies.
The review praised her use of paint, her witty ability to have content and humor together, and the subtle but insistent message of sexual power among women. She particularly liked the two paintings, ‘Balls’ and ‘Hose’ being next to each other. The reviewer, Henrietta Hornbill, said it was the most auspicious inaugural one person show in the city since Nick Sparrow had shown his sculptures of handcuffs made out of different colors of Jello.
Chapter Seven
Oriole was very confused. How could any one get a sexual control message out of her paintings? She had never thought about that at any time in the creation of the paintings. She called her oldest and dearest friend, Dovey, (who lived in Cardinal City, California and couldn’t make it to the opening) and asked her if she thought there was a sexual message in the paintings. Dovey said, “Duh, I’ve always known that. I am not surprised it was what the reviewer saw.”
Chapter Eight
Later that day she got a call from Onea Owl of NPR asking if she would be available for an interview, maybe at the gallery, about her work. They wanted to do a story in the next week about sexuality and wanted her included as an artist leading the way in feminist interpretation of sexual issues. She said yes, mostly because she hoped to meet that lady with the hard name to pronounce who was always on in the mornings.
Chapter Nine
Three days after that she got an email from someone supposedly from Vogue magazine. She thought it was a joke but she recognized the name of Winny Warbler at the bottom of the email as someone who had been a judge on that reality TV show about fashion. Ms. Warbler wanted to do a photo shoot with her as part of an editorial piece on stylish female artists in the city. She was hoping to get Jinny Crow and Penelope Plover as well.
Oriole called her and asked why she wanted her in the editorial shoot. Winny explained that while the striped hair, clashing patterns and bright circularly rouged cheeks had all been trending separately, Oriole had been the first one to have put them all together so successfully. Oriole was even more confused but decided she was going to go with the flow.
Chapter Ten
Oriole became a wildly successful artist in the city, then nationally, then internationally. She was the biggest hit at Art Basel in Miami the next year. She was chosen for the Venice Biennale and the Whitney biennial the year after that. She was the first artist on the cover of Vogue, first on the cover of Time since Picasso and first on the cover of Art Forum since ‘the artist formerly known as art’.
Chapter Eleven
Oriole flew high with her fame for 45 years. She became incredibly wealthy with homes in New York and St. Tropez. She had her retrospective in 4 museums simultaneously. MOMA showed her paintings, LACMA showed her sculptures and Tate Modern showed her prints and drawings. Her erotic art was at the museum in St. Tropez.
Epilogue
The most amazing thing about her career though was her departure from it. After the retrospectives closed she sent a press release out saying that she was going to retire from painting and focus on bird watching. She sold her homes, donated her remaining paintings to various museums around the world and disappeared from the art world. She moved to Saskatchewan, Canada and watched migratory birds the rest of her life, which lasted another 20 years. She died in her sleep in her small cabin in the north woods. Though it was never thought that she ended her own life, she was 95 after all, there was a note on her desk that made some people think she had known the end was near.
It said, “I saw all the important people in my life fly by today. I can die happy now.”
Do you want to know what is impossible? A relatively obscure Austrian bodybuilder who can barely speak English becoming one of the biggest international movie stars ever and THEN becoming Governor of the most populous state in the USA. That is impossible.
Here’s another one: A divorced B-list actor, on his way out in popularity, becoming the President of the United States. That is impossible.
One more: A clinically depressed unwed mother on welfare becoming the biggest selling author of the last 20 years with a net worth of over 1 billion dollars. That is impossible.
Necessary
Each one of these examples followed the process in the napkin. First, they did what was necessary. They did the hard work to reach their first goal. That first goal is not where they ended up. It was the necessary first step. If you aren’t willing to do the dishwashing in a restaurant, chances are you aren’t going to become an owner of a restaurant.
Possible
Each of the people above had a vision of what was possible. One knew he could become a world famous bodybuilder, the best that has ever been, before or after. One had the foresight and courage to change direction mid-life from acting to politics and public service. The third believed in all her heart that if she could get this book finished and into the right hands it would be a success. Their necessary hard work gave them glimpses into what was possible and they took advantage of those opportunities.
Impossible
Once the possible is taken advantage of with the foundation of necessary hard work, then those things that were WAY out of reach, that were impossible, all of a sudden became no longer impossible, just unlikely. Then more possibles came to pass and then the unlikely became a possible. Then, the impossible became real.
Arnold, Ronald and J.K.
Arnold Schwarzenegger was just another bodybuilding meathead. Ronald Reagan was just another washed up actor. J.K. Rowling was just another wannabe writer. But that’s what others thought of them. It wasn’t what they thought of themselves. They saw themselves, AND applied themselves, as if they were much greater and much better than how others saw them.
They Knew
They knew they couldn’t let others opinions decide their fate.
They knew hard, focused work was the key.
They knew they had to take advantage of the possible for it to become real.
They knew their vision had to expand and adapt as the future played itself out.
They knew not to be afraid of failure OR success.
Do you want to achieve the impossible? That’s how to do it.
Here are some rags to riches stories that illustrate this process again and again.
I usually think of perseverance as just sticking with something. But this quote brought to the fore a different aspect of perseverance for me. This focuses on the underlying reasons so many people don’t persevere; they think they’ve already worked hard enough or they simply tire of the work. That make me think about my own work differently.
Seems To Me
Yes, I’ve done a lot of work in my Napkin Dad efforts over the years. Sometimes it seems like it should be enough work to have succeeded. But what difference does it make if it ‘seems’ like anything? You can’t go by what something seems like. You have to go with reality. And the reality says I have more work to do to get where I want to go. In other words, ‘seems’ is irrelevant.
The Top of the Rock
Have you ever watched TV reports of rock climbers attempting to scale some giant cliff? They never have as their goal to get half way up the cliff, right? They say they are going to conquer that mountain, not conquer the half way mark of the mountain.
Often in rock climbing you see these beautiful photographs of the climbers in little tents hanging on a vertical cliff taking a break. They have food, shelter, warmth and they can actually survive days and weeks going up a cliff that way. They sleep all night and start up again the next day or they may have to wait it out a day or two if there is a storm.
But they stick to their goal, the top. No matter how tired they are, they can’t say ‘I worked hard enough, I am now at the top.’ They aren’t at the top until they are at the top, no wishing or feeling they should be at the top will change that.
It’s no difference with our goals. Do we want to achieve something? Then let’s set our minds to it and get started. Take little steps, keep at it, and let’s not fool ourselves into thinking we are done before we are done. We know it will be hard work and we commit ourselves to doing it. When we are tired, we take a break. But, we don’t shortchange ourselves and we don’t shortchange the world waiting for us to contribute what we have to give by quitting. We get out of the tent the next morning and resume our climb to our goal.
Periscope
Here is the Periscope video of the #NapkinKin trying to ‘guess the quote’ as I drew.
Drawing and Commentary @2015 Marty Coleman | napkindad.com
Quote by Newt Gingrich, 1943 – not dead yet, American politician
This is what happens when I decide to ask the #NapkinKin on Periscope what I should draw! I had the quote and had just the word ‘wish’ in the top and bottom quote areas. They had to guess the quote as usual but this time I decided I would let them suggest what I would draw as well. The result? A funny, crazy, unique and totally original napkin! See the bottom of the post to read the chronology of the drawing’s creation.
Prints are still available. $25.00
Someone Else’s Help
Sometimes self-help is knowing when you need or want someone else’s help. You don’t have to NEED someone’s help like when you are in a burning building and need to be rescued. You can just need or want someone’s help because it’s more fun than doing something alone.
I do my drawings alone. I come up with the ideas and images and I find the quotes. I choose the elements, the characters, the backgrounds. I then choose the colors and the type and degree of shading and rendering. I do it all. What that means is sometimes you start to get in a rut. You do the expected thing a little too easily. You fall back on a character or a color or a concept you may have done a few times too often.
Better Together
How many of us have never said, “I wish it were easier.”? Maybe it was losing weight or getting in shape. Maybe raising kids. Perhaps your marriage or job or family or home ownership or….or all of it. People just wish all of life was easier sometimes. right?
What I’ve noticed is that often that desire for things to be easier is actually a desire for a sharing of the burden. You aren’t opposed to the hard work of life, you just sometimes want to have some support in making it through. I know it’s true in my life as a runner. I run 5 days a week in a group I coach. I do all my own miles obviously, no one runs them for me. But I am not alone. I have companionship and support as I run the miles. Most of the people I run with think I am there for them, since I am the coach. But that is not completely true. I am a coach in no small part because I want to run with others. They meet my need as much as I meet theirs.
Friend in the Head
This week and next I am off from coaching and so am running on my own. I have been running 12 years now and it’s STILL not easy getting out my front door for a solo run. I can think of a bazillion reasons to not go between my bedroom door and the front door. But if I had a friend waiting in my driveway for me? I would not have those bazillion reasons going through my head. I would have my friend in my head. That is the power of doing things better.
How It Came About
So, as I mentioned, this funny and strange drawing came about via crowd sourcing on Periscope. Here is how it came about. All the people mentioned can be followed on Periscope.
The first suggestion was from @orion. He said draw stars (based on the fact that ‘wish’ was the only word showing).
@frogulox (Aaron) said there should be a top hat. I ended up drawing a sort of stove pipe top hat.
I had a suggestion of a rabbit from @futureartist123 (Mario). My attempt rendered a whale instead who fit snuggly under the top hat.
@feynwoman (Julia) suggested flowers. Since the whale was looking up, I decided flowers growing off the tree would be what he was looking at.
Then @ladyNynah (Antonia) said a tree and @JCahoonArtist (Jennifer) said a cactus about the same time. So, I drew a cactitree.
A cane with a bauble on top was then suggested by @frogulux, which I gave to the whale, along with a bow tie. Fred Astairewhale was born. He also asked for a hole in the tree for a gnome. I made the hole, but later @gintonics2 (Ginny) suggested a little bird instead so I drew a bird we named ‘Gnome’.
Then a turtle was recommended by @sfgianttortuga (Steve, a SF Giants and Turtle fan) and @Frogulox. I decided to make Turtle have a fascinator on her head and voila, we have Ms. Gingerturtle, the perfect friend for Mr. Astairewhale !
@LadyNynah reminded me Mr. Astairewhale needed water to survive so I gave him a swimming pool.
Then what to put in the middle. We had suggestions of a waterfall, a ladder, and from @PeteMtz, a stepladder. I decided a stepladder would be the right size.
@hammyton (Natalie) was thinking about danger and suggested a banana peel. I made it a whole banana to make it easier to comprehend quickly.
But what to put on the stool, anything? @VictoriaJamesUK (Victoria) suggested a vase of flowers and it seemed just right.
Then it was just the background left. @VictoriaJamesUK wanted a mountain and I fit it in behind Mr. AstaireWhale. I added a small hill on the other side, behind Ms. GingerTurtle. Then it was just a simple road going back into the distance and it was done.
The coloring was done to be as fun and bright as possible.
So, there you have what went into making this drawing, one I never could have made by myself!
You can follow all the people mentioned on Periscope. Tell them I sent you!
She didn’t like her shoes. She worried they didn’t go with her skirt. Her husband said they looked good together but she wasn’t sure.
Chapter One
When Sonya arrived at Starbucks he was already there. She noticed his shirt first since it was the same color as her shoes. He didn’t see her since he was facing away and writing in what looked like some sort of notebook calendar type thing. It was hot out so she walked behind him without saying anything and stood in line. She stared at his head because he had gray hair and she was surprised by that. He looked old because of it but then again not that old because his hair was full. She thought it was probably thicker than hers.
Dennis was annoyed she was late. He had arrived a minute early and had already been there 6 minutes. That meant she was 5 minutes late, not a good sign as far as he was concerned. He started writing notes in his calendar book, hoping to get rid of his annoyance. It wasn’t working. In addition he hated the shirt his wife had picked out for him. He hated the baby blue color. He hated the buttons. He hated the scratchy label in the collar.
Chapter Two
Sonya got herself an iced cherry something or other, she wasn’t sure what it was called. But she liked the color and that usually was a good enough sign that she would like it. She walked over to Dennis’ table, speaking and putting her hand on his back as she passed. He jumped as she did that. He hated to be touched. He tried to hide his scowl but she caught a glimpse of it as she turned around to sit down. She smile and introduced herself, holding out her hand to shake his. She could tell his smile was forced as he reached out his hand. His hand was cold and clammy and his grip was non-existent, as if he was a young boy who hadn’t learned to grip yet. She got a creepy feeling from him.
Dennis was startled when he felt the hand on his back. Then this loud grating voice startled him even more. The touch, the voice then the face all all told him in about 15 seconds that he wasn’t going to hire her. She had straggly hair, too much eyeliner and eyeshadow that was a weird color. He couldn’t imagine her fitting in at the office. He could see his secretary making fun of her and the maintenance guy trying to hit on her. He could see his assistant not wanting to work with her.
Chapter Three
Sonya smiled as big and as often as she could. She told her testimony of how she became a Christian at the age of 17 after her mother had died. Dennis interrupted her constantly during her story, asking her theological questions about what it was she actually believed when she converted. He asked a number of questions about Calvinism, which she didn’t really understand at all. He was so focused on that he didn’t even acknowledge the loss of her mother. She continued to tell about her faith journey and how it led to her wanting to work in the missions area of the church he pastored. But she was getting angrier and angrier underneath the facade because not only did he keep interrupting but he wouldn’t look her in the eye. He did however look at her chest way too much. When he started talking he wouldn’t shut up. He bragged about his Christian journey, about his 3 degrees in Theology, about the increase in attendance, about how many times he had been on TV in the last year. She was hating the interview and starting to hate him.
Dennis had to go through the motions of interviewing her but he wanted to make sure she had no doubt she was not a good fit by the end of it. He pressed her on important theological questions that she could not answer. He told stories about his church that she should have responded to with enthusiasm. The fact that she didn’t showed she was self-absorbed with her own overly sappy story. She would not be able to see the church had to take priority over her autobiographical obsession. No matter how hard he tried though she kept wanting it to be all about her. He smiled and said all the right Christian things but inside he was starting to hate her.
Chapter Four
Sonya left the interview very worried. She needed the job and had felt God was calling her to it until she had met Dennis. He seemed creepier as the interview went on. She could see him trying to hit on her. When she got home she realized she hadn’t once thought about her shoes.
Dennis left the interview annoyed. He needed to fill the job and really did think Sonya was the perfect candidate until he met her. She seemed sloppy (she had a stain on her green jacket that he couldn’t not look at. Her Christianity was immature and overly emotional. She did her makeup worse than his daughter did. When he got back to his office he realized he hadn’t once thought about his annoying shirt.
Epilogue
Sonya eventually got a job as a secretary to a Roller Derby team, the Banford Banshees. She helped them get organized with social media and their attendance rose 3 fold in just 2 months. She got a tattoo of a screaming banshee on her butt.
Dennis left his church for a new pastoral position in Beaumont Falls. He served that congregation loyally until the voted him out due to declining attendance. He became depressed until he got a job selling shoes at the mall. Women loved how he put high heels on them.
Yesterday I watched a Periscope by a friend in the UK named Victoria (@victoriajamesUK). She is starting a new daily broadcast where she and her followers will all say one positive thing about themselves each day. It’s a good practice to get into, especially if you are prone to beating yourself up over anything and everything.
She was talking about using a hashtag so everyone would know where to find the broadcasts and tweets and she used a phrase that included the words ‘mind and flowers’. I wrote back, shortening it to just #mindflowers. She liked that quite a bit and decided to use it.
In the meanwhile, A few days ago I had written down some quotes on the topic of self-help. When I went to start my drawing, and the accompanying Periscope, I saw this quote among the ones I had chosen. It was an obvious choice to use today!
Patience
I got a text last night from a friend who was upset that she couldn’t argue a certain point very well. She had posted a statement on Facebook and had gotten some backlash for it. She tried to argue her point, and I thought she did it pretty well, but she did not. The reason? Because the person she was arguing with ended up not agreeing with her. Boy, if I felt I failed every time my simply brilliant arguments didn’t lead to the reader or listener to come to their senses and agree with me, I would feel like a failure ALL THE TIME.
What my friend was hoping to see was an immediate acknowledgement of the rightness of her position. Don’t we all, right? But the truth is most changes of opinion don’t happen like that. Changes of opinion do happen, and I am all for arguing your position. But changes happen when the time is right for them, not necessarily when you happen to make the argument.
Rain
Think about a garden. in the middle of winter you can have seeds or bulbs underground getting plenty of water from rain or snow melting, right? That doesn’t mean those seeds or bulbs are going to sprout and blossom. They have a much more complex dynamic going on, as does our minds. The water (argument) is essential. But so is temperature (society) and soil (biology) and fertilizer (circumstances) and more. One argument is like one watering of the garden. It isn’t going to grow the garden if there isn’t another watering later on, if there isn’t good soil, the right temperature, the right nutrients. The garden will grow in it’s own time, when it is ready to grow.
Our minds open and blossom in their own time, and it’s wise for us to be patient with ourselves and others as to when and how that is going to happen. It doesn’t mean you don’t put forth your beliefs and opinions of what is right. It just means you understand and trust the process.
Periscope and Katch
I am now having my Periscope videos automatically saved at Katch.me. Here’s the one from yesterday where I drew this napkin.
This is #6 in my self-help series. I have done them all live on Periscope (@thenapkindad #napkinkin). Some of them have been a ‘Guess the Quote’ style scope where I start with just a few words of the quote on a blank napkin and the viewers guess the quote as I draw. The drawing hopefully is illustrating the quote so the more I draw the more hints the viewers have of what the quote might be about.
The only rule is you can’t google the quote. You have to just guess live. While doing this drawing someone did look it up but it was towards the end so it wasn’t a big deal. Plus, I had forgotten to mention that rule at the beginning anyway.
Being Deliberate
The key to making the most of who you are is first, knowing who you want to be. Not ALL of who you want to be, just part. Then, you act deliberately to become that. As you create that part of you that will help you understand what more you want to do or be. Then you go about doing that as well. Yes, you may have a big picture vision of your overall ‘YOU’ but practically speaking you are going to be doing one small step towards that at a time. So, focus on that and don’t worry about the big picture, it will take care of itself.
Being Courageous
Another essential element is courage. Whoever you want to become, whether it’s the best burlesque dancer in town or the town librarian, someone is going to judge you negatively for it. You may be judged a loose woman of easy virtue as they used to say. You may be judged a prude and a spinster. It doesn’t matter what you choose, someone won’t like it. But it’s your life, not theirs, right? And if you want to live their life then bow to their judgment and be who they want you to be. But if you want to live YOUR life, then have the courage to say, “This is my life, my choice.”
The Juiciest Peach
There is a famous quote by Dita Von Teese, “You can be the juiciest peach on the tree and there is still someone out there who doesn’t like peaches.” It’s futile to try to persuade every random person on the planet that you are a juicy peach. You just go about being the peach you want to be and be that confidently. That confidence and courage will do more to persuade the world and gain you respect than any bending over backwards trying to please everyone.
Barbara woke up and took a walk towards the volcano. She got lightheaded on the walk and saw a vision of all her past boyfriends tumbling down the steep mountain.
She saw Josh, the young man she had the affair with at the beach resort. She didn’t know if he really should be included since he wasn’t technically a boyfriend, more like a one night stand, even though it did last 4 days.
She saw Bob, the guy she met at the photography store. He wanted to photograph her but she turned the tables and eventually got him to pose for her instead. He broke up with her when he realized she had posted the full frontal nudes of him on her Flickr account.
She saw Jared, the older man she had a fling with at her job. He was divorced and a bit pathetic, but he smelled nice and bought her things. She broke up with him when she realized he thought 9/11 was a government conspiracy.
She saw Benjamin, the Jewish guy from her AA group. They bonded when the both realized they didn’t believe in God. He broke up with her when he found the love of his life on Eharmony.
She saw Robin, the dapper fellow she met at the hair salon. He was great in bed and she would have kept him but she caught him with her makeup and panties on one day and couldn’t handle that he was prettier than she was.
She saw Trevor, the British Cad who she knew was cheating from the very beginning but she stayed with him because he had a nice penthouse apartment overlooking Central Park. Ironically he broke up with her when he caught her cheating with Benjamin.
She saw Kevin, the police officer who stopped her for speeding. The went out for almost a year, but then he was wounded in the line of duty and had to go live with his parents in Oshkosh, Wisconsin. They broke up when he reconnected with his elementary school sweetheart back home.
And finally she saw Tim, the bodybuilder she met backstage at some competition. She liked his big muscles but he had erectile dysfunction and it was something she just couldn’t get over.
When she returned from her walk she called her husband, who was away on a business trip, to say she loved him. There was no answer and that made her wonder what he was doing.
I have been doing a fun thing on Periscope lately (you can go to the ‘periscope’ tab above to read about what that is if you don’t know). I am calling it ‘Guess the Quote’. I start a drawing with just part of a quote. In this case I started it with what you see below. ‘_____is better’ on top and ‘______than’ below.
Here is a recreation of the napkin as I started.
Then, as I draw, my viewers (the Napkin Kin) try to guess the rest of the quote. It’s a lot of fun, very interactive and engaging.
While I draw I also write down the guesses on a napkin. Here are what they guessed. Don’t scroll past the list if you want to guess since the finished drawing is below it.
By the time I am done with the line drawing someone has usually guessed the quote. We then have a great conversation about the quote and it’s meaning. I usually don’t want the scope to end, it’s that much fun.
Here is the final drawing and quote.
So, what do you think of the quote? And don’t forget, if you are on Periscope (Android or iOS) make sure you follow me so you can enjoy the next ‘Guess the Quote’!
Also, if you enjoy this post (and any of my other work) I would love it it if you would be so kind as to share it with others via social media. The buttons on the left and below can be used to share on twitter, Facebook and more. Thanks!
I went to Shades of Brown Coffee House the other day to meet up with one of my favorite models in Tulsa, Meera Kazmi. I needed to get her signature on a model release form so I could submit a photograph I took of her to Getty Images. I’ve known her and her sister Anna for probably 6 years now. They started out simply as teenagers who liked to dress up in 30s and 40s retro clothing. I saw them at a art opening or two, they always made a splash at their arrival. I was able to meet their mother, Karen, as well. She was their driver and #1 fan for all those teenage years. They are very lucky to have such a supportive mom.
The Kazmi Sisters = Manic Pixie Studio Opening, 2012
Modeling as Art
They both slowly transitioned to modeling, becoming professionals. Because their background was in wearing fashion for fun, they had a natural and easy way in front of the camera. They are fantastic artistic collaborators and yes, they are artists.
I helped run a large photo club here in Tulsa for many years and had them as models for many shoots. One of the shoots was ‘Philbrook Museum in Black and White’ and I thought I captured some very nice shots of Meera. I recently sold some images on Getty and have been wanting to add to their collection. Some of the images from that shoot stood out as great candidates.
Waiting
Look
Meera brought Anna with her to the coffee house, which was great. I hadn’t seen either one in a while so it was great fun to reconnect. Here is a photo I took of Anna at a Halloween shoot a few years back.
Halloween
Periscope and Drawing
Even though I am the old one of the bunch, they were the ones that didn’t know anything about Periscope! I showed them the app and then let them talk and connect to my followers. While they did that, I drew them in my sketchbook.
Here is the line drawing I did at the coffee house.
Later, when I got home, I worked on it some more, coloring, rendering and shading.
Video
I wasn’t able to save the Periscope video with the comments and hearts, but here it is without them.
They both are wonderful young women; creative, independent, fun and smart. I was happy to see them again and get a chance to draw them as well.
There are good reasons to not change your mind and good reasons to change it. Solid reliable evidence is a good reason to change your mind. Faux news stories on the internet that claim someone said something about something and is written by someone to get you to click on a headline and is obviously biased is not.
The Blind Spot
I came across a Facebook post yesterday from an old friend. He was promoting a conspiracy theory about 9/11. I argued a bit about it with him and others. Another friend then private messaged me gently giving me the advice that I should let it go. The reason? This was a blind spot the conspiratorial friend had. He was blind to something he was fully aware of in other areas of his life; namely logic, reason, critical thinking. Me arguing using any of those tools wasn’t going to convince him because he had, for whatever reason, purposely blinded himself to them in this area.
The Mystery Spot
There is a funny little tourist attraction in the Santa Cruz mountains of California, not far from where he lives. It’s called ‘The Mystery Spot’ and it promotes the idea that the laws of space, time and gravity don’t apply in that locale. It has funny shaped rooms that make you think someone is small when you know they aren’t. It has other spaces that make you feel like you are defying gravity in some way.
Now a little kid might think this Mystery Spot really does defy those laws, that is the fun of it for parents and adults, to see their kids wonder about these tricks without understanding them. It’s a way to teach them actually. But it would be very disturbing if a full grown rational adult went to the Mystery Spot and actually believed those laws were suspended. We would think they had something go wrong in their brain because it would be obvious to all that it was just an amusing slight of hand trick and it would not be believable that a grown adult would fall for it.
The Emotional Spot
But that is what happens in life all the time. We have blind spots where we don’t change our mind in the face of evidence. It might be emotional, a person just has to believe their dog is coming back after being lost 25 years ago. We all know the dog is dead by now, but that person emotionally needs to keep hope and so suspends rationality for their emotional need.
The Mind Spot
But emotional, intellectual and physical health actually are better served in the long run by our ability to face truths, to face reality. That sometimes means changing our minds about something. If we can’t do that, we can’t change ourselves and we can’t change anything else.
What are some examples of this from your life and the life of the world around you?
I went to London and Paris in June of this year (2015) and went to a number of museums. When I am going through a museum I am not looking to take pictures of the art work. That’s pretty much a complete bore to me. What I like is doing street photography in a museum setting. I look for composition and juxtaposition. Some are taken with my 2008 Panasonic Lumix G1, others with my iPhone. Neither is great in low light so the grain is often apparent. I don’t mind that.
Some are finely arranged, with my spending quite a long time waiting or maneuvering to get just the right shot.
Some are hip-high blind shots I take as I am moving.
Some are about seeing an art piece without the distraction of the crowd.
Some are all about the crowd and the feeling of the human space.
Some are funny.
Some are beautiful.
It’s one of my favorite things in the world to walk through a museum finding these images. I hope you like them.
British Museum
Atrium, British Museum
Composition with Gun Chair and Boy
Composition with Leather and Dog
Composition with Nude and Suit
Composition with Nude and Stares
Running in the Circle of Books
Composition with Hidden Lego on the Elgin Marbles
Tate Modern
Composition with Grate, LIne and Yellow
Composition with Selfie and Marilyn
Composition with Painting and Bra Strap
Composition with Witty, Sexy, Gimmicky and Walking Woman
’tis a rare day when I go to hang out at a coffee shop. Friday I had to leave my house for 2 hours because we fogged the attic for spiders. My wife has had spider bites a number of times this year and so we have started having the house sprayed. We have had quite a few spiders this spring and summer, in particular the dreaded brown recluse (probably not what bit her, but we aren’t sure), one of the nastiest spiders there is. If it bites you it can have your flesh start to die. I’ve seen it in action on an ex-girlfriend’s daughter’s leg and it’s BAD.
Because of that I went to the new Starbucks in our quaint little hamlet here in Oklahoma to draw, periscope and drink some coffee. A young woman, styled impeccably, walked in right before me and I knew, if she was staying, I would want to draw her. Luckily she did. Below is the drawing I did on a Starbucks napkin.
Asking Permission
Most of the time I don’t ask permission to draw someone. But in this case the tables were arranged so I would have to sit very close to her and I was going to be periscoping my drawing, which meant I would be talking to my iPad and picking up my drawing and turning it around to show my viewers. It was going to be obvious what I was doing and so I wanted to ask her in advance, which I did. She graciously allowed me to proceed. You can see a photo of her with the drawing below.
Periscope
I periscoped the entire time I was drawing. The app quit about 20 minutes in and I had to restart. I was able to get part 1 of the video processed so both the comments and ‘hearts’ are showing. Part 2 had expired by the time I tried to process it (Periscope only keeps videos available for 24 hours). However, I was able to save it without the comments and hearts. You can find me on Periscope at @thenapkindad (same handle as I have on twitter and instagram).
Part 1
Put the video on full screen to be able to read the comments.
Part 2 – this one does not have any comments or hearts, sorry about that. I am still learning how to integrate Periscope into everything else!
Jennie
Here is Jennie with the drawing after I finished. She was very kind and sweet as well as stylish. I really appreciated her allowing me to draw and periscope her. I gave her my card and hope she sees this. Thank you Jennie!
Ever notice that self-help really is the exact opposite? It’s never just you helping yourself. It is always you wanting to help yourself so you go looking for those who can help you do that. I think true self-help is never heard about because the person helps themselves and that’s that. They didn’t ask anyone, they didn’t tell anyone, they didn’t depend on anyone. they just did what they did, on their own. That is true self-help, right?
Don’t get me wrong. I think that the best world to live in is where we are all helping one another. It is how our communities, cities, states and nations all come into existence. And it’s great.
Word Play
I just think the play of words is funny and somewhat telling about our society that we call what is obviously other-help, self-help instead.
Many of you know I am a pretty liberal guy. I am liberal in my politics, outlook, style, humor, love, modesty, etc. You name it, I am probably more liberal than the the person next to me (at least in Oklahoma where I live!). However, if anyone would make the leap that that means I don’t love the country where I live as much as a conservative, they would be sorely wrong.
Periscope International
Yesterday during the Periscope video I was broadcasting showing me actually drawing the drawing above we got into a discussion about America with some of my friends in the UK and elsewhere. I responded to something someone said by saying I am a Promise Patriot. I liked it and wrote it down so as to not forget it.
Promise Patriot
And that is what I am. I am a Promise Patriot. I believe in the promise that was at the heart of founding of the United States. I believe it is still at our heart and I still believe in it. This past month we saw that promise in action with the Supreme Court decision regarding marriage equality. We are seeing it play out as well with the drawing down of the Confederate flag across the south and elsewhere.
What the Road Ahead Teaches
That also means I am not a blind patriot. I, as the founding mothers and fathers were, am a critical thinker patriot. I want us to ask hard questions. I want us to critique ourselves as if our lives depended on it. I want us to realize we are not at the end of a journey but in the middle of one, and that we have to be open to what the road ahead teaches us, not just what the past has.
Vacation 2005
Ten years ago we took one of our first big vacations as a new family. As a matter of fact, Linda and I weren’t even engaged yet (that happened a month later) but we were bonding as family. Linda, Caitlin and I went to visit my daughter Rebekah in Virginia and we went into the city of Washington D.C. for the 4th of July celebration at the Washington Monument.
Here are some pics from that day.
Looks like a Promise Patriot to me! This was 10 years ago. Makes me wonder where he is today and what he looks like. Probably a straight-laced business man in a button down shirt, who knows!
My favorite photograph from that trip. The Washington Monument behind the Jefferson Memorial.
Linda and Caitlin visiting with Abe.
Some random couple who were too attractive not to photograph.
The scene at the monument before the fireworks.
Linda and Rebekah listening to the band play patriotic music with the Lincoln Memorial in the distance with the World War II Memorial in between.
Quote by Rep. Barbara Jordan, 1936 – 1996, she was the first African American elected to the Texas Senate after Reconstruction, the first southern black female elected to the United States House of Representatives
I like to think of myself as mostly being in the traveler category. But I am also a tourist and go to tourist spots, especially when I am new to a location and I like that. They are popular spots for a reason and I want to see them just like most other people. What puts me primarily in the traveler category isn’t where I go as much as it is how I am looking at the places I go. I look with the artistic eye I have always had and I think that makes the difference.
Doing the Act
As an artist I am doing two things when I travel that others may not be doing. One, I am actually creating my art. Both times I have gone to Europe (and other places) I have spent each morning up early at a cafe drawing. My wife and daughters were sleeping still and I used the time to observe and create. I drew at other times as well, when going from one place to another. I have drawn in trains, planes, and automobiles.
Observation of the Juxtaposition
The other thing I do is look for the artistic moment according to my aesthetic and artistic inclination. This of course is different with each person, artist or not. I tend to see that artistic moment when I see a juxtaposition between two or more things. I don’t see it so much in a depiction of one thing, like the Eiffel Tower, though an image of that can be pretty. I instead will be looking primarily for the Eiffel Tower in relationship to a person. Someone at the Tower. Not posing, but being and acting. I have my eye and my camera ready when I am in a place like that to find that moment.
The Relationship
The drawing above illustrates that idea. I would be the one seeing the Eiffel Tower tattoo on the back of the woman looking at the Eiffel Tower and wanting to capture that. It’s not that I don’t like pictures of the Eiffel Tower, I tried to get a number of classic shots. It’s just that the really compelling images, the ones I truly love and am excited to have captured, show more than a place. It shows a relationship between that place and someone or something else.
The Difference
Here are two photos I took during my recent trip to Europe. Both are good in my estimation, but the second one is the one that moves me. It’s the one that makes me feel like I really captured the essence of the Eiffel Tower in it’s affect on a real person.
Tourist Eiffel
This one is all about the tower. It’s pretty. It might be a postcard or a stock photo. It tells someone it is a beautiful site. It’s me as a tourist trying to get a great photo of an iconic site.
Traveler Eiffel
This is about the affect the tower has on someone. It is telling the hint of a story and that draws me to her and what she is thinking and feeling. It’s the one that stays with me. It’s me as a traveler finding out about the people of the world.
Which are you?
What do you all think? How are you a tourist and/or a traveler when you go some place new? What do you see that you think others may miss when they are in a new place?
I have started to Periscope myself drawing my napkins and sketchbook drawings. This one ended with a really cool revelation that I want to tell you about.
I drew the quote and the tree with the snake first. It was to be about travel since I had just gotten back from our London/Paris adventure. One of the people watching suggested I have the quote go around in a circle and I adapted that idea to have the first half go across the top and down the side. But then I decided to make the second have a more traditional bubble so it would be easier to read.
My Thought Process
I came back 2 days later and, while scoping, talked about how to illustrate the quote. I thought of what would symbolize ‘the end’ and the idea of a hammock, the ultimate resting spot, would be cool to bracket the bottom. I have an actual hammock in my backyard so I decided to draw in stripes as mine has, plus they would help create the bottom curve holding the image in. The hammock would be empty since the quote is about the journey is what matters in the end, not the end, right?
I decided to draw someone walking, perhaps just having gotten up from the hammock. She was naked at first. I drew the path up to a mountain and then was a bit stuck. What was going to happen behind her? The idea came to me that maybe the path could be never ending, leading off behind her to perhaps the same place she will find going forward.
Breaking out of a Pattern
Right about then someone said maybe the middle area between the path could be a body of water. One of the things I like about Periscoping is that people through out their ideas and it sort of breaks me out of my typical drawing response. I have the type of water I draw, the type of mountains, of people etc. So it’s fun when someone suggests something that makes me view the possibilities a bit different. So, that is what I did, I drew the middle area being a body of water, like a bay or lagoon.
All this was done before any coloring took place (except the tree and snake on the side).
Conscious Choices, Unconscious Results
Once I had the stripes on the hammock the idea came to me to make it a rainbow. This wasn’t hard to come up with since the marriage equality ruling had just come down from the Supreme Court the day before.
Then I had to decide whether to keep the walker naked or not. It really made no sense given the quote and the image so I drew in shoes, shorts and a top. I wanted her to pop so I made her shorts red. I had a lot of green and blue in the background so I was trying to figure out the top, considering purple. But in the end I thought a darker blue would still stand out and colored it in.
Then I had to decide what color to make the walker. I put the drawing up for the periscopers to see and when I did that, and was able to see it on the screen it hit me. The walker was red, white and blue. And what is coming up this week? 4th of July. At that moment the whole drawing changed. It wasn’t just a walker journeying. It was an American. And it was the American journey into and beyond Marriage equality.
Good Art is More than the Artist Intends
I had no intention AT ALL for it to be about that. None of my choices were consciously leading to that. But I went with the unconscious flow, my creative choice flow and it came out to be something I believe in but didn’t intend.
I love that about art.
You can find me on Periscope daily. I am @thenapkindad there and on twitter.
Quote by Earnest Hemingway, 1899-1961, American author
I was waiting for my car to be serviced and hung out at Starbucks drawing. While I drew I periscoped and talked through my process. You can see the edited video below.
Hi Everyone! I am going to be featured this evening on a #passthetalentshowcase on #Periscope (live video with chat interaction). I would love it if you tuned in. It will start at 8:30 central time at @minniejen’s scope. She will introduce the showcase then hand it off to the first artist. They have 5 minutes and will pass it on. I am the last artist, slated for 8:55. I am @thenapkindad.
We have moved on to Paris in our epic adventure. We are staying in an Airbnb apartment, just like we did in London. This apartment is on the Rue de Dames, right off of Place de Clichy. There is a cafe right at Place de Clichy called Le Petit Poucet. I sat there two mornings and drew the scene I had in front of me.
As it says, the story is made up. I have no idea who either of them are in reality but that is the fun of storytelling. I catch glimpses of things and build them into a tale that makes some sort of sense to me at the time.
Here is a photo of the women and the space. The woman on the right is obscured by the man but he left before I started drawing.
Le Petit Poucet, Place de Clichy, Paris
This one was fun because the woman eating in the background noticed me drawing and came over. She introduced herself and as I was periscoping, introduced herself to all my followers as well.
Here are the 2 edited periscope videos I did of drawing this scene. Each one is about 7 minutes. The second one is where she comes over.
Part 1
Part 2
Here is the photo I took of her and myself.
Train from Versailles
On the way home from Versailles (not the best experience, too crowded) we relaxed on the train. Caitlin was trying to find WiFi access on her phone and I took advantage of the rest time to draw her. We changed seats right in the middle of the drawing due to Linda not wanting to listen to two vapid girls next to us closing the window and talking about stupid stuff. I had been set to draw this one person behind my daughter but we moved so I drew this Japanese girl instead. She was at a different angle, farther away from Caitlin than the person at the earlier location so I moved her a bit closer so I could get her in. That is why they don’t look like they are facing the same direction on the train. That doesn’t really matter but I thought you might like to see my decision-making process in action.
Charles De Gaulle Airport
I drew her after we arrived at our gate at De Gaulle Airport for our journey home. I knew I had to draw her fast since our plane would be boarding any minute. She looked elegant and refined and I wanted to capture that with a simple line. We talked and I gave her and her friend my card so she could connect later to see the drawing if she wanted to.
We never talked about what she was doing in Paris so when it came time to tell the story I imagined a romantic scenario for her. Part of it was based on a kind man that helped us in the train station in Britain. I just imagined her being the person who met him and what might have happened.
Most people, by the way, never end up contacting me. Many do though and I like to think they enjoy seeing themselves in a drawing published on a blog. I often wonder about those I draw, if they ever wonder about
This week we have been on vacation in Europe. We just finished 5 days in London and are now on the EuroStar train to Paris for another 5 days.
The Nest
During the international portion of our flight to London I sat next to this woman. She was frenetic pack rat who made her nest in the seat next to mine. It was pretty humorous. I felt like I was watching a Discovery Channel documentary on the odd nesting habits of humans.
We stayed at an Airbnb apartment in the Lavender Hill area of London. Each morning before my wife and daughter were awake I went to a little coffee shop, Il Molino, had a Caffe Mocha, a pastry and drew the people around me.
The Barista Libusa
The first drawing I did was of a customer ordering something from the barista. A bit later I showed the barista the drawing that I had done of her. She was very happy seeing the drawing. The barista’s name was Libusa. This was at the same time I ordered tea and croissants to bring back to the apartment for Linda and Caitlin. I tried to pay, but couldn’t due to having forgot my wallet back at the apartment. I offered to leave my iPad with Libusa to guarantee I would come back but she was fine with me going to get it without doing that.
Here is an edited Periscope video that shows me doing the drawing.
The Dreamer Giada
When I returned with my wallet I drew a young woman eating her oatmeal at a table nearby. She finished up and left and I continued to draw the rest of the scene.
While I drew I Periscoped live. Periscoping is live video broadcasting with texting interaction. In other words while I am on the air people can watch me draw, I can talk to them, and they can text comments, questions, etc. to me (and each other). The texts scroll up the screen and slowly disappear.
I was showing them this drawing and asking what I should write about her in my little space I reserved for the story. One my followers, @VictoriajamesUK said she should be in love and be waiting for her lover to return. Later Victoria told us that her husband was away inn Scotland and she was waiting for him to return and that was why she said that. In honor of her I put the initials VJ on the model’s shirt.
A bit later I showed Libusa the drawing that I had done of the woman eating the oatmeal, and told her I didn’t get to show it to the woman because she left quickly. The second Barista standing behind the counter said,”Oh, that is ME! I didn”t leave, I just went behind the counter.” She was even more excited about having been drawn than Libusa was. Her name was Giada. I later took a photo of her with her drawings.
Here is an edited Periscope video of me doing the drawing.
The Customer with Crutches
The next morning I returned to Il Molino and drew again. This time their was a woman with a pair of crutches that caught my eye and I drew and periscoped until Linda and Caitlin came to pick me up before we headed out for a day of sightseeing. She left quickly and I wasn’t able to get her name. I wasn’t too pleased with the drawing and realized that even though I love to periscope as I draw I still need to keep my creative process intact and not get too distracted talking to others. It’s learning process no doubt!
The Periscoping Self-Portrait
On our final day in London I didn’t have anyone in the coffee shop to draw so I drew myself periscoping. I scope using my iPad. I prop it up far enough away so the drawing can be seen as I create it. I highly recommend you get and use the app for your phone or ipad. It’s fun and insightful. You can find me at @thenapkindad.
The Inanimate Wish
And finally I did a drawing that was only partially based on what I was seeing. I had the coffee and pastry in front of me but the bus was made up obviously. Just a fun goofy drawing, more like my napkins to end my time in London.
