by Marty Coleman | Feb 7, 2019 | Marcel Mariën, Rules |
I drew this napkin 5 years ago today.
Here is a partial list of the things that might enslave you or me (if you think of others, feel free to let me know in the comments).
-
- Alcohol / Drugs
- Insecurity
- Depression / Anxiety
- Phone / Social Media
- Change
- The scale
- Rules / Society standards
- Perfection
- Control
- Shopping
- Work
- Guilt
- Sex / Porn
- Expectations
- Responsibilities
- Sugar
I have personally have dealt with or still deal with at least 5 on this list and if I include my family and close friends then I have dealt indirectly with almost every single one to some degree. I expect if you are old enough you have too.
The Hard Part
Here is the hard part. Knowing we are enslaved isn’t enough. If we are more interested in overcoming than polishing then we must ask and seek the answer to this question:
Why do we polish our chains?
Here’s why we need to ask this question. Saying you hate something about yourself or your situation is only looking at half the issue. The other question we have to ask is:
What do we gain from it?
Because knowing what we gain from it is key to figuring out how to let it go and pick up something else that isn’t as destructive.
What are your answers?
Drawing and Commentary @ 2019 Marty Coleman | napkindad.com
Quote by Marcel Mariën, 1920-1993, Belgian Surrealist
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by Marty Coleman | Feb 7, 2014 | Marcel Mariën |
What Enslaves Us
I found this quote yesterday and decided to use it on my morning’s napkin. I have my own things I am, or have been, slave to in my life, including a few on the list below. But I was interested in what others had to say about this topic so I posted the following question on Facebook:
Question: I am drawing a napkin today about what we are slaves to. What are you now, or have you been, slave to? What about others you know? Family traits, cultural?
Here is a list of the answers people talked about.
- Alcohol
- Insecurities
- Depression
- Anxiety
- Clichés
- Cell Phone
- Nothing
- Love
- Changing environment
- Government
- Voices in my head
- Petroleum
- Facebook
- The scale
- Rules
- Urgency
- Perfectionism
- Controlling things
- Consumerism
- Righteousness
- Fear
- Death
- My boss
- Need to please
- Society standards
- Work
- Beauty
- Guilt
- Masturbation
- Expectations
- Responsibilities
And finally,
Do you have others to add? It would make me happy if you would do so in the comments.
Rule Breaker/Rule Keeper
Out of that list I chose to illustrate the idea of ‘rules’. It seemed to me that most, if not all, the items on that list came back to our dealing with rules. Rules we either think we should or should not obey. Rules cover a lot.
I have family members and good friends who see themselves as rule keepers. They feel they are able to control their lives adequately by following the rules of society, government, work, and the rules in their own head. In most cases it seems to work for them. But I also know they get incredibly stressed out at times trying to follow all these rules. It’s draining because many of them are arbitrary, don’t contribute to actual goodness, and just make no sense. And yet they still obey those rules.
I also have family members and good friends who see themselves as rule breakers (myself included). They feel it gives them a freedom and a creativity to face the world with enthusiasm and fun. In most cases it works for them. But they also can get in trouble, or cause trouble, in situations where the trouble doesn’t help anyone. It’s not the positive trouble-making I mentioned a few days ago regarding entrepreneurs, it’s the trouble that comes from being oblivious to the benefits rules give to them and others. They break them without purpose, just to do it, or just ‘for fun’ without realizing how it may hurt themselves and others. And yet they still break the rules.
Some are in both camps. They are rule keepers to the world around them, but rule breakers secretly. We all are a bit like that I think, but some are so torn between the two that their public face and their private face have nothing in common. I believe that is a very dangerous place to be.
Why Polish?
Knowing what we are enslaved by is all well and good, but if we are interested in overcoming our slavery then the next, equally important question, is:
How and why do we ‘polish the chain’ that enslaves us? What causes us to do that?
What’s your answer?
_______________________
Drawing and questions by Marty Coleman, Answers by the Napkin Kin
Quote by Marcel Mariën, 1920-1993, Belgian Surrealist
_______________________
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