The Vanity of Deficiencies – All is Vanity #2
I am not deficient when I say today is ‘All is Vanity’ day #2
Pet Peeve
I think I have mentioned before that I have a pet peeve, a big one. I really do not like when people brag about their shortcomings. I especially don’t like it when I do it. When I found this quote and it added a new layer to my understanding why this happens.
Bad at Math
Let me give you an example. I did not excel at math in school. I didn’t flunk it, but I didn’t excel at it either. So, if a conversation comes up about math, and I am asked directly if I am any good at it, it’s a simple declarative statement to say, “No, not very.” If I am feeling hopeful and positive I might say, “No, not very…YET.” meaning I might become better at it in the future. That is how I like to think about things I am not very good at at the present moment.
Bad at Math Vanity
But what if instead, when I was asked, or even if I was not asked and I was just a general part of the conversation, I said, “I am REALLY BAD AT MATH! I can’t balance my checkbook, I can’t pay bills very well, I HATE math! I don’t understand my IRA or my 401k and I am terrible at keeping a budget!”
If I said that, would I be stating a simple declarative statement? No, I would be saying to the world, ‘I am proud to be bad at math. I think it makes me pretty cool. It shows me to be a hip artist, or maybe a cool musician. It puts me in the ‘above all that mundane crap’ world of bean counters and bureaucrats and pencil pushers.
Wrong Vanity
And I would be wrong. It doesn’t do that. It just shows me to be vain about a deficiency. I am seeing a shiny gold tooth in the mirror worth bragging about when actually I just have an ugly black tooth that really isn’t worthy of attention. It’s nothing to be proud of, nothing to brag about and certainly nothing to be vain about. What it really is, is something to be better at if you can, just like any other optional deficiency in your life.
Right Vanity
You suck at your marriage? Don’t boast of it, become less sucky at it. You don’t know how to write? Don’t brag about, learn how to write. You are a lazy bum? don’t be vain about it, get the hell off the couch and start contributing somewhere. Turn that deficiency into an available gift. Then if you want to be vain about it, go ahead.
Have you ever been vain about a deficiency? Let’s hear your insight about it.
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Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman
Quote by Nathaniel Hawthorne, from his book – The House of the Seven Gables
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“It is very queer, but no less true, that people are quite as vain, or more so, of their deficiencies than of their available gifts”