This is a repost of yesterday’s post. I had some problems yesterday at the site and had to revert back to an earlier database.
How Strong is Your Why?
We don’t like being uncomfortable. We don’t like denying ourselves. We don’t like struggling. And we usually avoid those things if at all possible. So, why do we allow those things in our life?
One reason is found in this question. Are you working towards a goal in life? If you are, you know the power it can have on your willingness to go through hell. The examples are plethoristic (I just made up that version of the word). In my case it is often my willingness to go through crazy cold or crazy heat while running. I do it because it is important to my goal of running my upcoming race the best I can.
With another person it might be raising your kids to have a better life than you had. Immigrants often say that is why they are willing to come to America. The Dr. from Bangladesh who is willing to take a menial job in the US just to guarantee his kids have a brighter future. Sometimes it may be a goal you find to be shallow. Maybe your friend has this driving desire to be famous. Or a family member is obsessed with being super wealthy. We certainly won’t agree with everyone’s reasons.
How Strong is Your How?
Whatever your goal, you still have to take action to make it happen. That is where you find out how bad you want something. Many people take the first step, even the second step. But somewhere along the arch of our lives we eventually reach a point where a particular goal doesn’t seem attainable, no matter how much one struggles for it. Often it’s because it’s not what you thought it was.
I just read the blog of an online friend the other day who said she was giving up on her goal of being a fitness competitor. It’s not that she didn’t want to look like a fitness competitor, it’s because she realized the trauma and deprivation she would have to go through to get in that ‘stage ready’ shape was just too much for her. It wasn’t worth it and it wasn’t what she expected. And that is ok. It’s good. We all have to be honest about what we want and what we are willing to do to get it. And that includes telling ourselves, “This is not for me.”
Honesty
But the real tragedy is when we really DO want something but we just aren’t willing to put in the work to make it happen. That, to me, is the true sadness behind laziness in life – all the unreached goals.
So, what is your goal? Are you honest about it? Is it realistic? Is it something you are willing to work for? If it is then don’t make the mistake of choosing comfort and ease over effort. Don’t think of all the ways to get out of doing the work, focus on the ways to make the work count. You can do it.
Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman Gender variation on a quote by Friedrich Nietzsche, 1844 – 1900, German philosopher Original quote – “He who has a why in life can bear almost any how.”
This, and all the napkin drawings, are for sale. Email marty@napkindad.com to inquire.
It’s no secret, today is #4 of our ‘Enjoying Life’ series!
Five Dangerous Things I Did as a Teenager that I Enjoyed
Taking my small boat out alone after midnight for a rendezvous with 3 European women, 2 Swedish, 1 Finnish, who were anchored out on a boat in a nearby cove. My buddies and I had met them earlier that day while water skiing. Nobody really believed me when I told them what happened, but it did. Kids, if you are reading this, don’t do this.
Hitchhiking from Connecticut to Ohio during my freshman year of college with my roommate. We promised the young couple who picked us up and who were eloping to Florida (or something like that) a joint or two if they took us all the way to the campus, which they did and we did. We were two days late and didn’t think it all that important to tell anyone where we were. Our friends and family weren’t happy about that but we had fun. Kids, if you are reading this, don’t do this.
Streaking (running naked, a fad in the 70s) across my college campus in the snow in the middle of the night and getting stuck behind a grove of trees with 3 friends when a performance let out at the local theatre and the cars exited on the road we had to cross to get back to the dorm. We were stuck for about 10 minutes and it was COLD! Kids, if you are reading this, don’t do this.
Taking the air conditioner out of my girlfriend’s bedroom window from the outside so I could sneak in and having to run like hell when I almost got caught by her father. I guess I could trace my running career to that night if I really want to. Kids, if you are reading this, don’t do this.
Driving to Myrtle Beach, South Carolina for spring break with a friend. Our parents were out of town and we didn’t think it necessary to tell them we were going. We meant to go to Florida but the car broke down in South Carolina so we spent our break in a Burger King parking lot near the beach. Luckily, we knew some girls who were staying in Myrtle Beach so we hung out with them for most of the week. The car (an old Rambler my dad got for $200.00) was toast by the time we got home and had to be junked. Kids, if you are reading this, don’t do this.
What dangerous things did you do when you were a teenager?
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Drawing and remembrance by Marty Coleman
Quote by Frederich Nietzsche, 1844 – 1900, German writer and philosopher
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The secret of reaping the greatest enjoyment from life is to live dangerously
1, 2, and 3 are past, so that makes this day #4 of History Lesson Week.
INFURIATIONS This sentiment, ‘every past is worth condemning’, probably infuriates you as it did me when I first read it. I am often the one in arguments about history to defend the past era and the decisions made then. I don’t mean I approve of them, obviously I would not make many of the same decisions now. But that’s the point; I am in the present, not the past. Just as you have to take into consideration the age and mental capacity of your child when you react to what they say and do, you must do the same for the people of the past. They knew what they knew and as a result they said and did thing based on that knowledge, not based on our knowledge. So, I typically am against condemning the past, even if we now can say we don’t approve of the actions they took.
But after reading this simple sentence over a number of times I am starting to see the value in it. By condemning the past and how they acted we are saying that we have learned, we have grown, we have gone beyond their understanding. That of course can be a two-edged sword. Not all knowledge from the past is wrong and often we find ourselves as a society moving back to past practices because we have found that our ‘progress’ really wasn’t so progressive. But plenty of knowledge from that past is worth condemning.
RATIONALIZATIONS We don’t need to reexamine if slavery is something we should bring back. It has been condemned as wrong and we will not return to it. We don’t need to investigate if the subjugation of women is something we want to reinstitute. We know they are equal to the male of the species in every way and we are not going to return to the days of them being condemned to a lesser life. We condemn that attitude and any and all rationalizations, however valid they may have seemed at some point in the past. We know now they are not valid and we will not let them be used again.
THE PAST AS PRESENT The last point about women brings us to a dilemma. The past isn’t always in the past. We have subjugation of women going on all over the globe as I write this today. They are not allowed to vote, to drive, to own property, to have their own money, to participate as an equal member of society. The societies that are perpetrating this are still using the same arguments we once used not so long ago (don’t forget, less than 100 years ago women did not have the right to vote in the USA).
We can also find it with us today in the US and other supposedly enlightened western countries. You don’t have to go much farther than the headlines of the last week over Rush Limbaugh’s disgusting statements about one woman in particular (and be inference virtually all women in the US) to know we still have a long way to go to move past some of those same rationalizations we thought we had left behind.
Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman of The Napkin Dad Daily
Quote by Friedrich Nietzsche, 1844-1900, German philosopher
The enemy of Al Qaeda is no longer just the US and Europe, it’s the freedom movements of North Africa and the Middle East. I am glad a new enemy has arisen.
“How good bad music and bad reasons sound when we march against an enemy.” – Frederich Nietzsche
This was drawn less than a year after the Iraq war started and I wanted to impress upon my daughter to watch out for the signs of a country being influenced by emotional propaganda of any sort. This quote said it perfectly.
“He who as the why to live can bear with almost any how.” – Frederich Nietzsche
That sounds simple enough, just find out why to live. However, what struck me as I uploaded this just now is that those people who have to struggle desperately with ‘how’ to live (poverty, war, concentration camps, illness) are the ones that usually find out the ‘why’. Sort of a chicken or the egg type thing I suppose.
The question of who we esteem, and who we disdain, is something that is almost always taught by example from parents and others in power. What are you teaching, and more importantly, why are you teaching it? If you are still quite young the question is, what are you being taught? Do you believe it?
“The surest way to corrupt a young person is to teach him to esteem more highly those who think alike than those who think differently.” – Frederich Nietzsche
