by Marty Coleman | Jul 22, 2014 | Enjoying Life - 2014, George Santayana |
I hope you enjoy day #1 of Enjoying Life!
And hopefully as you grow, what gives you enjoyment is more and more about giving joy and love to others as well as getting it for yourself, right?
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Drawing and Commentary by Marty Coleman. This is the bathing suit version. There is a nude version as well, but it’s not uploaded anywhere as of yet.
Quote by George Santayana, 1863-1952, Spanish philosopher and writer
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There is no cure for birth and death save to enjoy the interval
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by Marty Coleman | Jul 18, 2014 | Cyril Connolly, Promises Promises - 2014-16 |
And as I promised, here is the last in the ‘Promises, Promises’ series!
Celebrity
What do many celebrities, whether local fame in a small town or international superstardom, have in common? They burn out and fall from the stars in a flaming display of self-destruction. Why is that? Often times it seems to be promising expectations they can’t live up to. It might be they actually aren’t as talented as everyone thought. It might be they have the talent but don’t put in the work to bring that talent to the level needed. Maybe their talent was only developed in one small area and once used up, there is no where to go.
Success
There are of course stories of wildly successful people who were pushed early on to become something. Think of Serena Williams in tennis, or Tiger Woods in golf. They both had parents who had a huge vision for them, and that vision came true. Both became superstars well beyond the expectations. And they both were touted as examples of how children with talent could be trained and molded successfully so they would be able to sustain themselves and prosper in their field
Failure
But no parent is perfect at child rearing. And now child is perfect either. So far it looks like Serena has navigated successfully through her fame and fortune. I hope that continues. But we all know that Tiger, while living up to athletic expectations, fell from orbit and self-destructed. He is to be admired for fighting back and not giving up. He still is golfing, still winning and still a force to be reckoned with. But the illusion of his exalted character and status in the world fell hard and has not recovered.
High Up
A big part of the force of the explosion and the media clamor over it was due to the height from which he fell. It wasn’t the height of a parent’s hopes for a young child. It wasn’t the height of a young phenom exploding onto the professional scene. It was the height of someone on the verge of being declared the best golfer in history. That is a long way to fall. It was sad to watch the wreck happen in real time. It was made even worse by knowing he brought it on himself.
Do you know someone, or perhaps even are that someone, who has lived that life? Not just in sports, but in any arena of endeavor. What are the lessons you have learned about this as a result?
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Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman
Quote by Cyril Connelly, English author, 1903-1974
It is not an anomaly that Connelly is the author of this quote. He lived it. Here is a passage from the Wikipedia entry about him.
“Connolly followed this up (his novel ‘The Rock Pool’) with a book of non-fiction, Enemies of Promise (1938), the second half of which is autobiographical. In it he attempted to explain his failure to produce the literary masterpiece that he and others believed he should have been capable of writing.”
I used the title of his book as the title of this post, it was the obvious choice once I read that it was about his own promise issues.
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Those whom the gods would destroy, they first call promising
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by Marty Coleman | Jul 17, 2014 | Anonymous, Promises Promises - 2014-16 |
I promise to deliver #4 in the Promises, Promises series!
Pleasure and Pain
Having chosen my quote for the day I visualized two faces, one while making the baby (making love) and another during childbirth. I was thinking that the face of someone having sex would be happy looking and the childbirth face would be intense and full of pain. But when I went to face research (yes, I did research) I came across a site that had portraits of people right at the moment of orgasm. And guess what? They looked almost exactly like the face of someone giving childbirth. Intense, scrunched up, teeth gritted and looking like they were about to explode, which of course, metaphorically at least, they are in both cases.
Pleasure and pain aren’t that far apart. Whether it’s people eating hot chiles that make the roof of their mouth burn off, or people enjoying going into a polar bear plunge in February, people combine the two. It can be combined in sex, eating, vacationing, relationships, drinking, sports, etc. You name it and you will likely find a co-mingling of pain and pleasure.
Keeping Promises
Promises are the same way. It’s easy to promise something when you are turned on, when you are feeling or pursuing pleasure. That’s why we constantly are telling young women and men to not trust what a person promises when he or she is wanting sex, right? The painful part of a promise is in the delivery, not in the proclamation. If there has been any struggle for myself and most fathers and mothers I know, it’s that. How to deliver on your promise. Your promise to your wife, husband or partner, to your kids, your work, your extended family. As I have gotten older I realize I am much happier and more successful when I simply let my delivery be my promise and forego the grand proclamation, how about you?
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Drawing and Commentary by Marty Coleman
Quote is Anonymous
Promises are like babies, easy to make, hard to deliver
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by Marty Coleman | Jul 16, 2014 | Jennifer Donnelly, Promises Promises - 2014-16 |
I promise that this is #3 of my Promises, Promises series.
Do or Die
During my first marriage, I broke promises. Somewhere along the line the combination of me breaking those promises and my wife’s own issues and realizations, led her to file for divorce. She made one statement that has stuck with me all these years. It was the statement that clarified for me how bad she saw her situation. She said, “I feel if I stay, I will die.”
There really wasn’t much arguing to do with a statement like that. She had reached a point, whether I understood it or not, where the promise she made to marry and stay married was going to break her. She needed to save herself and the only way in her mind at that point was to divorce me. I didn’t fight it.
Compassion For Breaking
I am not a fan of divorce. But I understand how it can come to pass when what seemed to be just a small ring around your finger becomes a ball and chain around your neck. I wish rational arguments could sometimes win the day, but I know that the human heart and human needs are such that rationality isn’t what drives us into a marriage and it isn’t what causes us to dissolve a marriage.
All this just to suggest we have some mercy and compassion for those who feel the need to divorce, to break the marital vow before it breaks them. Really, truly listening deep to what is going on inside their heart and mind is the best way to assure you understand.
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Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman
Quote by Jennifer Donnelly, 1963 – not dead yet, American writer
Jennifer Donnelly
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It’s a bad thing to break a promise, but it’s also bad to let a promise to break you
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by Marty Coleman | Jul 10, 2014 | Illustrated Short Stories, Marty Coleman |
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Prologue
She moved to Denver and told herself she was going to change things, get out and start living again, even if it was just to go get coffee in the morning.
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Chapter One
The Knitter liked to go to Starbucks to knit. From her chair at the window she would watch for her secret crush to come in, as he did every morning. She first saw him the very first day she moved to Denver. He was wearing a suit that reminded her of her late husband. He ordered a tall cup of straight coffee, no room for cream, and left promptly.
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Chapter Two
She saw him every Monday, Wednesday and Friday for 7 months straight. She worked the afternoon/evening shift on those days and so had time to relax in the mornings. He eventually noticed her always being there and would smile, wave or say good morning to her as he left. He disappeared when summer arrived. The knitter was incredibly sad about this, more so than she expected.
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Chapter Three
When fall arrived so did he. He came in just like clockwork on the first Wednesday after Labor Day. The knitter was very happy. She had dreamt about him more and more while he was absent and she thought that was all that she would have of him. But she had been so sad for so long that she was happy to be dreaming about something, someone other than her husband, whom she had been married to for 20 years before the heart attack killed him. It had been 2 years when she moved to Denver and he still was vivid in her dreams up until that summer.
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Chapter Four
The secret crush smiled broadly when he saw the knitter in her usual seat. For the first time he actually walked over to her and introduced himself. His name was Dave and he worked just down the street as a engineer for an Oil and Gas Company. He had been gone for the summer, assigned to Pakistan for 3 months to help retrofit some old oil fields with new safety equipment. That was his specialty. He ask the knitter her name. He thought Kiki was a very happy name and that it fit her.
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Chapter Five
The next Friday he was already at Starbucks when she arrived, and he was sitting in her seat. He got up and nervously told her he had gotten there early to have time to talk to her. He asked if she liked picnics. She said yes and smiled. He asked if she liked romantic movies. She said yes and smiled even more. He asked if she would like to go see a movie on the lawn at the local park. He would bring the picnic dinner. She said yes and smiled even more. He was smiling broadly as well.
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Chapter Six
They went to the movie and fell in love. She cried when she got home, realizing how lucky she was. He did the same. Four months later they were married.
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Epilogue
She still goes to Starbucks 3 mornings a week to knit. But now they come in and get their coffee together. His office is close enough that he can walk the rest of the way to work and she stays knitting, with a smile on her face.
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The End
Story and drawing by Marty Coleman
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by Marty Coleman | Jul 1, 2014 | Independence Day, Quote Authors |
I am on vacation this week so I am going to post some past 4th of July napkins. The drawing that will publish on the 4th this year is new.
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by Marty Coleman | Jun 26, 2014 | Marcus Aurelius |
Don’t be insulted but it’s the last day of The Illustrated Insult.
The ‘Slut’
There once was a woman, Natalie, who found out, second hand through her friend Sandy, that another friend, Lisa, had called her a slut. This was said because Natalie had gone out on a date with Ben, who bragged to a mutual friend, Sam, about his conquest. Sam in turn told Lisa. Lisa was upset about this and and ranted to Sandy. Sandy then mentioned it to Natalie at a party the next night.
Response #1
Natalie was hurt by this. The reason she was hurt was she knew that Ben had lied. He had not ‘conquered’ her (meaning had sex with her). She also knew he had told Sam he had done so as to make Natalie look bad. She didn’t know why, but he obviously hated her for some reason. Sam had to hate her too and also wanted to wreck her reputation. As a matter of fact all four of her ‘friends’ weren’t her friends at all, they hated her.
Natalie left the party, cried long into the night and isolated herself for the rest of the weekend. She stayed distant from them all and others in her circle of friends. When she did return to the fold she wasn’t the same. She remained angry and eventually she drifted away from the group and spent the rest of her year pretty much on her own. She found it hard to make friends for a long time, always suspicious that her trust was misplaced.
Response #2
Natalie was hurt by this. The reason she was hurt was she knew that Ben had lied. He had not ‘conquered’ her (meaning had sex with her). But she also knew he had told Sam he had done so as to make himself look good. She didn’t know why, but he obviously felt inferior to Sam and wanted to prove himself somehow. It wasn’t good that he had lied, but she felt bad that he would go to such lengths. He had some issues he needed to deal with that had nothing to do with her. She know that Sam always felt on the edge of the group of friends. Him finding out about this supposed conquest would give him an in with a girl he had a crush on, Lisa, so it made sense he would tell her. This also wasn’t good, but it certainly didn’t say anything about how he felt about her. She knew Lisa had just had a pregnancy scare earlier in the year and had preached to her about making sure she didn’t make the same mistake she had made. Now Lisa had heard Natalie HAD made the same mistake and so had likely just gone off on a rant, calling her a slut the same way she had been called a slut by some just a few months earlier. Natalie also knew Lisa had a short temper and that her parents were extremely judgmental of almost everyone. Natalie also knew Sandy was everyone’s confidant and she would listen to anything. The fact that Sandy had told her what Lisa said was more about Sandy thinking she was being a friend that it was her trying to hurt anyone.
Natalie stayed at the party. When Ben showed up she brought him aside and told him what she had heard. She looked him straight in the eye and told him that not only was their friendship over but she would expect to hear from Sam, Lisa and Sandy that he had gone to them all and said he had lied. She doubted he would really do that but she wanted him to know she was in control, not him. She eventually talked to Sam and Lisa, explaining what actually happened. She left it at that. It made her a bit wary of her friends for a while but she not only kept their friendship over time but rose high in their eyes as a woman of character and someone they admired and trusted.
Rejecting Injury
How did Natalie reject this injury? She did it by assuming the best motives and understanding the weaknesses of her friends. She approached them, in spite of the hurt, with love and kindness instead of hatred and anger.
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Drawing and Story by Marty Coleman
Quote by Marcus Aurelius, 121AD – 180AD, Roman Emperor, Stoic Philosopher
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Reject your sense of injury and the injury itself disappears
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by Marty Coleman | Jun 23, 2014 | Sigmund Freud, The Illustrated Insult 2014 |
I would be insulted if you didn’t look at offering #4 of ‘The Illustrated Insult’ series!
Sticks and Stones
I’ve let words stop my progress in life a LOT more than I’ve let physical setbacks. You wouldn’t think so given my physical history. I cut myself falling over things hundreds times as a kid, stubbed my toe every day, got sunburnt, fell off bikes and skateboards regularly. I bodysurfed my way into faceplants in the sand, snow skied into trees going down expert slopes I never should have been on, kicked sprinklers hidden in ivy while running full bore looking for a lost tennis ball. I’ve run marathons that had me wiped out and promising to never run one again. And of course there was the boat explosion I’ve mentioned before where I was blown up and burned on 70% of my body.
None of these physical accidents, stupidities, injuries, wounds, etc. ever help me back from anything (once I recovered of course). I didn’t move ahead with doubt or fear. Maybe I moved forward with a bit of wisdom (I hope) but I still felt confident I could tackle whatever I wanted, including those same things that had caused the injury.
Words Will Ever Hurt Me
But here is the curious thing, I have let my career be stopped again and again by words. Harsh words of critique, the absent words of praise, the second-hand words of gossip, the unspoken but assumed words of disdain or condescension, the ‘helpful’ words of correction. Why is it that I, someone supposedly confident (and I am to a large degree) is stopped in his tracks by mere words? Why are these such powerful insults to my psyche? What is the difference between ‘sticks and stones’ and ‘words’?
I would like to hear your ideas and stories about this.
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Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman
Quote by Sigmund Freud, 1856-1939, Austrian Neurologist and Psychoanalyst
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The first human who hurled an insult instead of a stone was the founder of civilization.
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by Marty Coleman | Jun 19, 2014 | Anonymous, The Illustrated Insult 2014 |
Mickey and Me
Ever since I was a kid I was told I looked like Mickey Dolenz of the Monkees. My buddies and I convinced a clerk at a McDonalds once that I was his younger brother and she gave me a free coke because of it. I even had someone put his photo on my FB page claiming he was my doppelganger.
Hot or Not
Now, if you ask me, I don’t think Mickey is all that handsome. And those who say I look like him aren’t necessarily giving me a compliment, they could easily think he isn’t all that handsome either. They may think he is, as I do, sort of squinchy-faced, a bit too rough and blockhead looking, for their taste. Then again, they may find him very handsome. Plenty of people have, after all. I can assume then, that among those same people, some find me handsome, some don’t.
So, that made me wonder how others thought about this. What about you? Do you find those who look like you attractive, ugly or something else altogether?
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Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman, who also has been told he’s looked like the following over his life; Taylor Lautner (played Jacob in Twilight), Butch Patrick (played Eddie on The Munsters), Brandon Cruz (played Eddie on ‘Courtship of Eddie’s Father ), Jason Alexander (played George Costanza on Seinfeld), Steve Martin, Tommy Smothers and “you know, that guy in the movies…what’s his name?”
Quote is Anonymous
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by Marty Coleman | Jun 17, 2014 | George Eliot, The Illustrated Insult 2014 |
I am crowing about today being day #2!
Cock a Doodle Doo
Last year my wife and I went to St. John in the US Virgin Islands. It was a fantastic vacation with only one thing that wasn’t great; cocks. We were staying in a beautiful cottage that was up a steep road, overlooking Coral Bay. Down below were small homes of full timers who lived and worked on the island. And they all had roosters. A lot of roosters. And all these cocks crowed. Some didn’t just crow when the sun rose. A few started crowing at about 2am and they didn’t stop crowing sometimes until maybe 6pm. That is a lot of crowing. Luckily it was an almost an imperceptible background noise during the day. It was only at night that it was annoying, waking us up. We unfortunately had to close the sliding glass door to muff the sound instead of being able to enjoy the beautiful night air.
Cocky Men
It occurred to me that this all day cock crowing was an appropriate analogy for some men. Some men crow when they get up, some men crow at other parts of the day. But there are some men who just crow all the time. They might crow incessantly because they are horny, or angry, or insecure, or power hungry or something else. But the one thing they all have in common, no matter their root motivation, is they want all the attention all the time. And they think they deserve it. ‘The world revolves around me and deservedly so’ is their spoiled thought.
Enabling
Where does this come from? If I had to guess, it would often be from an enabling mom and dad. The mom feeds the boy everything they need, always making them the center of attention, never demanding they share the limelight with others, or share the work load of life. It’s a peculiar form of enabling and spoiling mothers can sometimes do (it’s not restricted to boys, girls can be raised the same way). And how do dads contribute to this? By being a grown up little boy, also not sharing the limelight or the workload.
Another reason is very likely simple hormones. A horny guy is going to crow. He may not crow about sex, as a matter of fact he probably won’t be crowing about sex, but he is likely going to crow about something; maybe work, maybe family, maybe sports. In other words, men can be real dicks until there is some resolution (or distraction) for his issue. This isn’t about all men of course, but it’s about enough men to make it worth taking note.
Sexual Assault and Rape
If it was just a lot of talk, it would be bad enough, but in light of all the college campus and church issues of sexual assault and rape (to name just two areas of concern) you can see it leads to not just blustering talk, but to terrible and damaging actions as well. It’s not a good thing and men need to take notice of it as a real and dangerous character trait of entitlement that needs to be put in it’s place by men who see it in action among their friends.
Who the Sun Actually Rises For
I have four daughters so I can’t say exactly what I would do with a son. But I have a pretty good idea that I would make sure he understood that the sun actually rose to greet his mother, not him, and he sure as heck better help his mom (and the rest of the family) if he wants to share some of that light.
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Drawing and Commentary by Marty Coleman
Quote by George Eliot, 1819-1880, English author. George Eliot was the pen name for Mary Ann Evans.
George Eliot (Mary Ann Evans)
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He was like a cock who thought the sun had risen to hear him crow
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