by Marty Coleman | Apr 18, 2014 | John Green, Pain & Suffering |
I demand that today show #4 in my Pain and Suffering series!
Burn
When I was in the hospital back in the 70s I discovered three very annoying facts about recovering from burns.
- The procedures for recovery hurt far more than the initial burn.
- That the pain increases, not decreases, every day until you are ready for skin grafts.
- You can’t rush getting to the skin graft part.
In my case it took 5 weeks until I was ready for the grafts. During that time I had twice a day whirlpool baths at about 110º to 120º. After the soaking I had the dead skin taken off , sometimes pretty indelicately, by various nurses. Where the dead skin was didn’t hurt, but for them to get that skin off the had to work from the edges of it, which meant they were constantly going over the edge and touching the part of my body where there was no skin, only nerves. Sometimes I would have been given a pain killer but often that pain killer had not taken affect when this procedure took place. This hurt.
Breaking to Heal
The nurses would then put on a cream called Sulfamylon. This cream burned. It burned worse than the burns. This hurt. They would then cover my body with gauze, wrap me up good and off I would go to Physical Therapy.
In Physical Therapy the most important thing, besides maintaining my overall strength, was to make sure the Keloid scars didn’t grow so as to restrict my movements in the future. To avoid this my therapy consisted of stretching as much as I good, which in turn meant breaking open whatever was starting to heal too tight. This hurt.
I would then have about 10 or so hours until the procedure repeated itself later that day.
Growing Pain
Now here is the kicker. When you are burned your nerves endings are either burnt or retract. On day one of your treatment your nerves are not recovered and you only feel so much. But each day your nerve endings come back just a bit. Which means you feel more, not less, pain as the recovery makes its way. What this does to one’s mind is to keep it from thinking ahead. Not only are you focused, obviously, on the immediate pain, but you are also pretty much incapable of imagining life in the future. The constant pain contracts your ability to imagine. For example, I remember at one point during my stay, in September, someone saying something about January and the new year. I just looked at them and said, ‘I don’t really believe January will ever come.’ In my mind I could not see ahead because the pain was too great and was only growing greater.
Your Pain
I know a lot of friends in pain right now. Many in the throes of divorce, others due to physical pain, some are just emotional wrecks over everything being up in the air in their lives. It sucks for them right now and I feel for them. But I also know something, and I know it from very real experience. January does come. Healing does come. Life will not always be the life you are experiencing right now. If you can’t envision a future without your pain, then just take a chance and trust me. Believe my experience second hand. You will get through it.
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Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman
Quote by John Green, 1977 – not dead yet, American author
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by Marty Coleman | Apr 14, 2014 | F. Scott Fitzgerald, Pain & Suffering |
I am picking today to be #2 in the Pain and Suffering series.
Pick Your Pain
I pick my scalp. My father did as well. My mother and sisters would tell him not to. My wife and daughters do the same to me on occasion. My response? I don’t stop for long. Why? Because I like picking my scalp. I like picking because I like the little bit of feeling, the pain, attached to it, among other things.
Picking a scab might lead to infection, it might bleed a bit too much. We all get that, but we do it anyway. Why? Because we like it. We like the pain because we know it is controlled. We know the pain won’t kill us (the infection might, yes, but the pain won’t). We know it will only go so deep. It’s the same reason we press a bruise or a sore spot on our body after we have exercised hard. We are testing the pain, seeing how painful it is. And that pain feels good because we know we can relieve the pain easy enough by just stopping.
Choose, Self-inflict, Repeat
Why are we so ready to repeat pain but not pleasure? To me the answer is simple, we don’t have any guilt with pain. Pleasure can make us feel indulgent, selfish. But how can you feel indulgent and selfish when you are feeling pain? It isn’t nearly as likely.
That’s why we have so many quasi-martyrs in the world who love to advertise their suffering. That’s why the ‘fruits of the spirit’ in the bible include ‘long-suffering’ but not ‘long-pleasuring’. We don’t unleash moral condemnation on pain and suffering, do we.
True Danger
There are times when self-inflicting pain really is dangerous and life threatening though. Self-loathing and self-hating can lead to inflicting pain that can have permanent and even fatal consequences. Sometimes to others as well as yourself. I wish I had the answer as to way we do that. All I know is it’s way too frequent among those I love.
What are your thoughts on it?
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Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman
Quote by F. Scott Fitzgerald, 1896-1940, American author
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by Marty Coleman | Apr 8, 2014 | Illustrated Short Stories, Marty Coleman |
A Short Short Story
Transcript:
5 seconds in her mind while we were in a church and she was in front of us and I watched her for a while before I made this up
Second One: I am alone, I am still cold, I wish I was married, I wonder if I am getting sick.
Second Two: I don’t think I am sick; it’s just allergies, I need to pay attention & eat better but lunch sounds good maybe a cheeseburger. No, a salad.
Second Three: No, maybe I will skip lunch and fast. I need to pray more so I can lose weight & be happier. Maybe just 20 pounds.
Second Four: But I am already happy I think because I am saved and that means I am going to not go to hell. I think I don’t chew well.
Second Five: But if I lose weight I will have to buy new clothes and I am broke. I am going to close my eyes now just for a little while then I will fell better again maybe.
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Drawing and story by Marty Coleman
Model unknown
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by Marty Coleman | Apr 4, 2014 | Marston Bates, Research - 2014 |
This may boomerang on me, but today it’s #5 in my Research series!
True But
I think this is true but incomplete. I think it must be added that it’s not always the alley that is blind, it’s the person in the alley who is.
Blind Alley, Blind Person
A researcher can contribute their own blindness or shortsightedness to the process of going down an investigative alley. At least I know this holds true in art. If I am not paying attention to everything around me I can think a place is devoid of creative potential. But the truth is there is probably a great deal of creative opportunities anywhere, if I am paying attention. I would think the same is true in research. Yes, you have something specific you are looking for, but you can not be blind to what else the alley offers.
Recognize, Then Edit
As you go on your research journey, no matter the field, keep your mind and senses open to what presents itself, even if it’s not completely on topic. That doesn’t mean you have to grab it and indulge in it. It’s just saying you know what it is that is in front of you and are open to what it might mean. Recognizing something and deciding to leave it behind is much better than never recognizing it in the first place.
See the rest of the Research series here. If you are interested in having them as posters or framed prints for your school or company, let me know!
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Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman
Quote by Marston Bates, 1906-1974, American zoologist
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“Research is the process of going up alleys to see if they are blind. “
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by Marty Coleman | Apr 3, 2014 | Albert Szent-Gyorgyi, Research - 2014 |
Do you see? Today is #4 in the Research series!
My Daughter Led the Way
One of the things I love about having a daughter who is a scientist is how it’s turned my attention to science as well. I read up on it as best I can and I like to watch shows on it. I don’t pretend to know much, but it’s an amazing path to follow, never ending in it’s ability to surprise.
Art and Science
I also find more and more how similar being a scientist is to being an artist. Yes, science has a certain rigor and a much more detailed protocol for everything that creating artwork usually doesn’t have, but the essence of discovery comes from the same spot in our minds. That spot is an open, non-judgmental space that tells us we are free to explore. Both scientists and artists believe that the joy of exploration is it’s own reward. But we also know another truth and that is that when you do explore with freedom, lack of fear and judgment, moral or otherwise, you are very likely to discover things of importance.
See the rest of the Research Series here. Scroll down to see them all.
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Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman
Quote by Albert Szent-Gyorgyi, 1893-1986, Hungarian physiologist. Discoverer of Vitamin C and winner of the Nobel Prize in Medicine in 1937.
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by Marty Coleman | Apr 1, 2014 | Bill Watterson, Research - 2014 |
I hope you don’t think I am a jerk to tell you… today is day 3 in the Research series!
What would this field of research be in, anyway? What would the disease even be called? Do you think the government would give a grant for it?
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Drawing and questions by Marty Coleman
Quote by Bill Watterson, 1958 – not dead yet, American cartoonist, author of Calvin and Hobbes.
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by Marty Coleman | Mar 30, 2014 | Gwyneth Paltrow |
Hello Ms. Paltrow,
I don’t know you. I probably know more about you than you know about me though. I have seen you in some movies, on the red carpet via TV, read news/entertainment reports about you here and there. I know you have a lifestyle website that give advice and information about all sorts of things. I know you are considered beautiful by many. I know these things about you because America, and most of the world actually, has developed an amazing obsession with people who do one particular line of work. That line of work is the one you happen to be in, acting. You are lucky to be living now compared to 100-200 years ago, when your profession was not so highly regarded. Then you would have been considered disreputable, and while people might want to watch you on stage, they would not have wanted to actually know you.
How times have changed. Now everyone DOES want to know you. Not only that, they actually think they do know you. And to be honest, that is partially true. Your life is in the public eye, and that is, at least in part, a conscious decision made by you and your family. As a result, people you don’t know know about you. They know some about your family, your marriage, your likes and dislikes in fashion, food, charities, makeup, hair, and more.
The Special Categories
As a result of this appearance of knowing you, many feel close to you, like you are friends with them. That is a pretty cool thing. But you aren’t just showing yourself to ‘friends’, you are showing yourself to everyone. And here’s the bad part Gwyneth. You are in that special category of humans (actors) that America has decided does not deserve to be shown the respect they would show to their real friends. The reason for this is because they don’t, in spite of thinking maybe you are their friend, think you are actually real. You are just a creation, like the movies you are in. Those who follow this idea of course don’t feel the need to show you respect, or compassion, or mercy, or kindness, or forgiveness. They get a free pass on all that because you aren’t real.
Of course some may think you are real. But they have another category of human that trumps that and so they still feel they have the right to withhold those elements of civility. That second category is ‘the privileged rich’. You aren’t a person who just happens to have a lot of money, you are ‘the privileged rich’. As a result, many feel they can treat you like they would an alien species or an animal who doesn’t have feelings and doubts and hardships like they do. They can degrade you. They can mock you. They can rally their friends and society at large against you. They can destroy you. After all, you aren’t one of them. You are an alien who doesn’t deserve anything.
Working
Two recent events regarding you made all this come to the fore. First was your interview in which you said your type of work is harder for you than a different type of work that is more consistent and regular is for other mothers. Some people, mostly mothers, didn’t like that. But since you are in the two aforementioned categories they didn’t do what they would have done with their friends. What they would have done with their friend is perhaps say “yea, I can imagine that sucks. I wouldn’t want to be away from my kids that long either. My life is consistent, it’s true. I do the same things day in, day out, for the most part. But it’s can be really hard too.” At which point I have every reason to believe you would have said, “Yea, it can be hard for both of us.” and then you both would have continued to talk as friends about it.
Conscious Uncoupling
The second event was your recent separation from your husband. In your announcement you used the words, ‘conscious uncoupling.’ It was a phrase most of us hadn’t heard before. Some people made fun of that phrase because it wasn’t the single word, ‘Divorce’. They used your use of that phrase as a weapon against you, saying you are pretentious and elitist. What they didn’t do was actually think about the phrase. They were so busy mocking and denigrating they forgot to actually pay attention. If they had been paying attention then they might have realized the phrase is actually a pretty interesting and effective way of saying ‘separation’ or ‘divorce’. It makes you think about it in a new and different way. But those people don’t want to be faced with thinking new things. They want to stay with what their tribe, and the influencers that lead the tribe, say is approved. If it’s not approved, then it is worthy of being mocked.
What a Friend Would Do
Here is the crux of it all. I don’t know you. You might actually be pretentious or out of touch in real life, I don’t really know after all. But I certainly don’t think those to examples show it. But I do know that even if you did say something that showed a lack of understanding on your part, I would respond as I would to a friend. I would first try to understand you; where you are in your life, what you deal with. I would try to walk in your shoes. Not your supposed shoes of privilege, but your emotional shoes. Your real shoes. The shoes worn by a human, not a mockable category. I would then, if I didn’t fully understand, give you the benefit of the doubt. I wouldn’t assume you had bad intentions or motives or were a terrible person because of what you said. I would probably ask you what you meant. I have a strong feeling asking you that would solve any issue I had.
Judgment is the New Black
Unfortunately Gwyneth, you and I are living in an era where judgment is the new black. Judgment can be a good thing of course, but when it is bereft of it’s balancing partners it usually isn’t. What are judgment’s partners? They are compassion, understanding, mercy, silence, patience, forgiveness, openheartedness and openmindedness. Instead partners that bring out the worst in judgment are on the scene. They are envy, jealousy, self-righteousness, mean-spiritedness and hatred. What we end up with is an America that thrives on judging and attacking others in the most unthinking, vicious way possible.
Anyway, that is just a bit of what I have had on my mind in the last few days regarding your public situation. I hope it helps you to see that most of this negative response you are getting, and have gotten for quite a while, is not about you, it’s about them. It’s about their small minded desire to be part of their self-righteous tribe and their unconscious anger that they are not you.
I wish you the best with your family situation and your career,
A friend you don’t know,
Marty Coleman
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by Marty Coleman | Mar 27, 2014 | Nora Neale Hurston, Research - 2014 |
Purposeful
Recently I gave a lecture about Photography to PHOTOG, a group I help lead here in Tulsa. The title of my talk was ‘What’s Inside Your Camera?’ and it was an explanation of the workings of the camera. Of course to talk intelligently about it I thought it might be wise for me to research exactly what DOES happen in a camera. I mean, I know…but I don’t KNOW.
Curious
So, I went about researching. My research was driven by what I was curious about. How does that image get on the screen in the back anyway? I knew how it worked in old film cameras, but I didn’t know the details of how it worked in a digital camera. My curiosity went in that purposeful direction.
I did that a number of different times; exploring this history, that part of the camera, this function. Whatever piqued my curiosity, I went looking into it. I followed threads of images, forums, essays, lessons, in whatever direction I wanted to know more about. I didn’t try to have it all make sense before I started. I explored first and it was only after I had done that for many hours that I started to see how it all worked in detail.
Purposeful Again
I then organized the talk with a certain logic; starting at the lens, where the light enters the camera, and ending at the very back of the camera, where we see the resulting image.
Purpocuriosiful
That is my favorite way to work, purpocuriosiful. I start with a general idea and a broad purpose. Then, within those wide parameters I just explore freely. I allow myself to be confused, to not know how something will turn out, how it will all make sense, while I do this exploring. I allow it because I know the process works. I know my brain will eventually see patterns and structures within my purpocuriosiful explorations and I will be able to organize the information so others can gain from it.
While I am not a scientist I know from talking to my daughter, Rebekah, who is a one, that she often works that way, as do many others. Art and science are not as far apart as people sometimes think.
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Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman
Quote by Nora Neale Hurston, 1891-1960, African-American Folklorist and Writer
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by Marty Coleman | Mar 20, 2014 | Marty Coleman, Meh Meh Mediocrity - 2013 |
Today is the appropriate day to talk about Christianity’s love affair with mediocrity.
The ‘Inappropriate’ Outfit
A friend of mine who has modeled for our photography group here in Tulsa attends a fashion design college. She was called out in front of her classmates recently for her ‘extremely inappropriate’ choice of clothing by her teacher. She said it was inappropriate because the college was a ‘christian college’.
She was quite upset by the confrontation because she takes great pride in her fashion choices and styles. It was embarrassing and humiliating for her. The outfit consisted of a typical black tank top and black long pants along with a black leather jacket. I have seen a photo of her outfit and it is well within acceptable bounds for a young woman in America, especially at a fashion design school. It seems to me that it was an act of public shaming on the part of the teacher that isn’t easy to explain.
Slut Shaming?
It made me start thinking about Christianity’s obsession with ‘appropriateness’. Why did this teacher think the outfit was inappropriate? Were there men ogling the student? Were women whispering behind her back? Were her private parts showing? Maybe the teacher herself was unable to concentrate because she was so distracted by the outfit? Did the teacher think my friend was in danger of appearing too ‘loose’ or ‘slutty’ and would get sexually assaulted as a result?
Reputation and Judgment
I actually don’t think the teacher thought any of those things. I think the teacher’s reputation was threatened. I think she, and many Christians, wants a world where no one can question their appropriateness. And to do that they have to make sure no one thinks they approve of others who are supposedly inappropriate. Not just other people, but whole arenas of activity and effort in the creative world; fashion, art, music, dance, film. They are quick to judge because they themselves are worried about being seen as insufficiently righteous if they don’t.
Christian Mediocrity
What is the result of that mindset? The result is mediocrity. They are firmly planted in the safe middle with safe music, safe art, safe fashion, safe film. They don’t have to consider new creative ideas and images because they have already have a handy pre-judgment at hand that declares those ideas and images as inappropriate. And something judged to be inappropriate, even without good reasons behind the judgment, can be dismissed without consideration.
And mediocrity thrives when new ideas aren’t allowed to be considered.
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Drawing, quote and commentary by Marty Coleman
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by Marty Coleman | Mar 19, 2014 | Bodyless Ghirl Ghosts - 2012-2013, Marty Coleman |
Last we saw them, the bodyless Ghirl Ghosts were having a Bodyless Ghirl Ghosts Weekend. Meanwhile, their Ghost babies were being baby sat back home.
Ghost Babies
Wait… you didn’t know ghosts had baby ghosts? Yep, they can. If the ghosts have bodies they have babies the normal ghost way, through their ghost private parts. But if they are bodyless Ghirl Ghosts like the ghosts in our story, they can’t do it that way since they don’t have ghost private parts. So, they give birth to their baby bodyless ghosts through their mouths. Yes, Once they have ghost sex (which for bodyless ghosts is just making out) they pop them out like bubbles from their ghost mouth. Hard to believe, but it’s true.
Ghost Ghoos
So, while their ghost moms were off having their little holiday, the baby ghirl ghosts were being baby sat. Another cool thing about being a ghost is you don’t need other ghosts to babysit. All you need is Ghost Ghoo. Ghost Ghoo is something all ghosts can release, sort of like ghost poop, but it’s not gross. It is a part of the ghost who let’s it out that stays behind. The ghost gives it instructions and it follows them. It’s like a ghost rhobot. So, in this case the ghost ghoos was instructed to take care of the baby ghosts. They fed them, got them to take naps, let them play safely, took them on field trips and more.
Causing Trouble for the Ghoos
But on this day there was trouble. The baby ghosts being taken care of by the red ghost ghoo got very rambunctious and wouldn’t obey the Red Ghost Ghoo. They fought, tried to run away and played practical jokes on the Red Ghost Ghoo. It got so bad that the Red Ghost Ghoo broke apart into pieces, which is what ghost ghoos do when they get really flustered. The biggest piece collapsed on the floor into a ghoo pile and started to cry.
The other Ghost Ghoos; Orange, Blue, Green and Pink, did their best to round up all the baby ghosts that the Red Ghost Ghoo had been taking care of. It took them a long time and they were none too happy about it. They gave a stern lecture to the baby ghosts about obeying authority and made them apologize to the Red Ghost Ghoo.
Horror Movie
As punishment and as a lesson about what happens when they don’t obey they made them watch a very scary horror movie about evil people trying to destroy them called Ghostbusters.
The End
To see and read the whole Ghirl Ghost series of short stories, click on the ‘series’ drop down menu to the right and go to ‘Bodyless Ghirl Ghosts‘.
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Drawing and story by Marty Coleman
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