by Marty Coleman | Aug 19, 2013 | H. G. Bohn, Plan On It! - 2013 |
The Fitness Challenge
I am starting a 12 week fitness challenge with my wife and daughter today. Caitlin actually started it last week but I couldn’t get my act together that soon after my trip back east so I am starting a week after her.
Time vs Excuses
Having delayed it a week it was easy to start to think of reasons not to do it this week either. I have this run schedule. I have this weekend trip. I have this lack of groceries. I have this confusion about the program. Maybe I need more time.
But I don’t need more time, I need less excuses. I needed to measure myself. I needed to have pictures taken. I had to figure my goals. I had to read up on nutrition. I had to figure out what I have, and what I need, to make it happen. I needed to join the gym. All things that are not part of my daily napkin dad life and sort of a hassle.
But doing these things is a commitment. I am telling myself that I am implementing a plan by taking these steps. Without these concrete steps, it’s just a ‘one day’ plan.
What is your plan?
- Does it have a date attached to it? If not, it’s a ‘one day’ plan.
- Does it have real concrete steps to take? If not, it’s a ‘one day’ plan.
- Are you accountable to anyone? Have you told anyone of your goal? If not, it’s a ‘one day’ plan.
And a ‘one day’ plan is no plan at all.
Let’s hear one step in your plan. What is it?
Speaking of a PLAN
WHO WANTS TO VOTE FOR ME? I am wanting to share some cool stuff with the peeps at SXSW next March. I have proposed a 2 1/2 hour workshop on photography, an extended version of the presentation I gave at Social Media Tulsa earlier this year. If you liked that presentation, or if you just want to see me go to Austin and do something cool, vote for this proposal, ok? THANKS!
http://panelpicker.sxsw.com/vote/24603
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Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman
Quote by H. G. Bohn, 1796-1884, British Publisher
The quote was found in a book (The Book of Positive Quotations’) given to me by one of the runners I coach. She came up to me with the book as a gift and said, “I found you online. I didn’t realize you were so infamous!” I thought that was the coolest thing. I like being infamous almost as much as being famous. The fact that I am actually neither is immaterial in my mind! hahaha
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by Marty Coleman | Aug 5, 2013 | Quote Authors |
I am not going to be putting up my 40th High School Reunion pics and stories quite yet so if you are anxiously awaiting them I say…
40.835721-73.700344
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by Marty Coleman | Jul 31, 2013 | Robert Pinsky, Your ID please! - 2013 |
All I remember is today is #3 of my ‘Your ID Please!’ series.
That Moment
It’s bound to happen if you live long enough in the same town. That moment when someone who contributed negatively to a difficult moment in your past appears before you. That happened to me a few months ago. I was in the middle of speaking when it happened. It threw me off my game for a few seconds, then I waved and kept on with my speech. While I was finishing the speech I was also deciding how I was going to respond to seeing this person. I made my choice quickly and with confidence. I knew exactly what I was going to do.
The Next Moment
When I was done, this person came over to ask a question. We greeted and I did what I had chosen to do (and indeed had already started to do in my mind and heart). I loved the person. That is all I did.
Love Lets In
They asked some questions about the topic, expressed some concerns about their ability to participate in our group activities and I responded with encouragement and confidence that they could. I asked questions about their experience in this area and they responded with a very profound and moving story of their life, with events, issues and challenges that would fell many a strong person. But this person had battled back over many years and was now ready to take on this next challenge.
Remembering The Future
I briefly wondered what they were thinking about as they talked to me. If they were remembering. But I didn’t linger on that. I lingered instead on the future. I saw this person’s success. I saw this person’s victory over their challenges. I saw this person’s need for my help and I saw me being happy helping. I was happy to have love in my heart.
When you have hate in your past, remember the future instead.
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Drawing by Marty Coleman
Quote by Robert Pinsky, 1940 – Not Dead Yet, American Poet
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By the way, if you share my blog posts somewhere, I always love finding out where they went, if you have the time to tell me. Thanks.
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by Marty Coleman | Jul 30, 2013 | Anonymous, Your ID please! - 2013 |
What We All Have Heard
It’s common to hear someone say, ‘You just need to be yourself.’ Our maybe you have heard someone say, ‘I lost my identity in my marriage.’ Perhaps someone has said to you, ‘I don’t know who I am anymore.’ The answer to all these dilemmas is often thought to be a turning inward, getting away from other influences, to ‘find yourself.’
Inward and Outward
But how is that really possible? What is actually going to happen when you turn inward? Are you going to find self-satisfaction in your spleen, liberation in your liver? No, you are actually going to think back. Think back to things you used to do, attitudes and beliefs you used to have. You are also going to think back to the desires you used to have about what you want to be in the future. Maybe you have dreamt of being fit and muscular like you were when you were 25. Maybe you dreamt of learning to play piano when you were 15 and never did and now the idea has come back. Maybe you have always wanted to be an artist since you were a little kid. Maybe you want to be the loving, kind person you were when you lived with your grandfather that year when you were 10.
People, Places and Things
In each of those cases there are people, images, ideas, places, you have within those dreams. They are the concrete things you identify with (even if subconsciously) when you think of these ideals and hopes. They are connected to something outside yourself.
Perhaps the piano is connected to hearing your older sister play beautiful Christmas songs every winter. Maybe the fitness is connected to the happiness, health and the pride you had in how your body looked and felt at age 25. Possibly the art is connected to your love of beautiful museums your mother took you to on vacations. And there is no doubt the love and kindness is connected to how greatly you admired your grandfather as he lived out his days.
Becoming You in the World
Our identity is not truly, completely from within. It is when we identify with the world around us, when we reach out into the world and say ‘I want to aspire to that’ that we can see our identity start to form. When we pursue those things and make them our own; practicing, refining, believing, sharing, that is when it becomes us. And that is when we, and others, can identify our identity.
Who do you want to be and where did that come from?
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Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman
Quote is anonymous
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by Marty Coleman | Jul 26, 2013 | Mae West, Resistance - 2013 |
I am tempted to say this is Resistance #3
The Cat and the Cracker
Last night I had a few crackers before going to bed. Our cat, Mayru, was sitting on my lap and for some strange reason she was very insistent on wanting a cracker. This is not usual. But tonight she was crazy about it. I gave her a small piece and she actually ate it. Then she turned around on my lap and meowed plaintively, wanting another piece. I gave her another and she bit it, dropped it and jumped off my lap, walking away, never to return.
Now, I don’t think she contemplates will power and resisting temptation much. So, what happened? Well, what she does is go with her desire. She wanted the cracker, didn’t resist that desire and got the cracker. Then didn’t have the desire, no longer wanted it and walked away. The key wasn’t that she wanted it and pushed it away in spite of wanting it, it was that she just no longer wanted it.
I’m No Help at All
I sometimes am told that people are impressed with my ability to give things up. It seems I can give something up and stick with it. They might think I am good at avoiding temptation, that I have great will power, that I am disciplined. But the honest truth is that I can give it up not because I am good at resisting temptation, but because the temptation goes away. I am actually not good at resisting temptation, I am better at getting rid of temptation.
Saying I ‘get rid of temptation’ makes it sound like I actually do it. But the truth is, and one of the reasons I am not all that great at advising others in their attempts to get rid of bad habits, is they just go away. I usually don’t do anything to get rid of them beyond having the simple desire for them to go away. That’s it. Sometimes it takes years (one habit took 45 years for the temptation to go away). Sometimes it takes an instant. I don’t really know why, though I wish I did.
The Key, No Matter What
What I do know is that even when they just go away and I didn’t do much to make it happen but to wish for it, I still need to make a choice not to go looking for that lost temptation to see if it’s still hanging around out there. It’s like an ex-lover you are over but that you sometimes still pine for. If you go searching to see ‘how they are doing’ you are looking to see if the temptation is hanging around. And that temptation that is lost is suddenly found again. That is not a good thing. Let it stay lost, it can’t add up to much without you.
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Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman
Quote by Mae West, 1893-1980, American Actress and Playwright.
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by Marty Coleman | Jul 25, 2013 | Peter Senge, Resistance - 2013 |
I didn’t change my mind, today is still going to be Resistance #2.
What’s Behind the Fear?
I like this quote a lot. It focuses one’s attention on what we really fear when it comes to change. We fear WE are going to have to change. Think about any change you fear and see if you don’t find that, at its essence, it isn’t a fear that it will lead you to have to change.
Isn’t that why we often don’t like new styles in hair, clothing, accessories? Aren’t we afraid, when you get right down to it, that we will have to change and wear that style ourselves? That is when the judgment seems to be necessary right? As a method to keep the change at bay, away from us and the resulting change that we would have to suffer through.
What do you think of this idea?
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Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman
Quote by Peter M Senge, 1947 – not dead yet, American Organizational Development expert.
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by Marty Coleman | Jul 24, 2013 | Resistance - 2013, Susan Steinbrecher |
Do not resist the fact that it’s day #1 of a new series on Resistance.
Stealing From Susan
Last year I won a writing contest put on by Susan Steinbrecher. I won a weekend at the Gaylord Texan outside of Dallas and we went over the 4th of July weekend, 2012. It was a great time and I was able to meet Susan during the weekend, which was a great honor. She recently launched a new website dedicated to promoting her abilities as a speaker and I went to check it out. There were video samples of her speaking and this quote was the very first thing that she spoke about. I stole it from her because I liked it so much.
What Not To Resist
Susan was referring to the futility of resisting change in the business world. In particular she was talking about the technology, communication, globalization and more 21st century elements to modern business. She said people can try to resist, but that resistance won’t change anything. The future is going to come, whether you resist it or not. The future persists. Indeed, it is the most persistent element of life. Some things are bad to resist.
What To Resist
However, there are areas of life where it is good to resist. When you see racism or sexism or bigotry or corruption, it’s good to resist. When you feel yourself sliding into mediocrity, it’s good to resist. When you are tempted to blame, gossip or hate, it’s good to resist. These things also persist. But unlike the future they can actually fade, becoming lest persistent. And your resistance to them is one of the actions needed to help them fade away. Some things are good to resist.
What Do you Resist?
What is it you try to resist? Are you effective or not? Explain.
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Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman
Quote by Susan Steinbrecher, American business leadership consultant and speaker.
Susan Steinbrecher
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by Marty Coleman | Jul 18, 2013 | Buddha, Making Mistakes - 2013 |
Truth: Making Mistakes #5 appears today.
The Comfort Mistake
It seems to me that the search for truth often times is a search to justify one’s comforts and prejudices. It ends at the most convenient location, in other words. That seems to me to be a mistake. If we want to be satisfied, truly satisfied, we have to pursue beyond both of those things.
Religious Truth
We have some good examples, not in the discovery of an absolute and final truth, but in the courage to continue the search. A number of religious leaders and congregations over the centuries showed great courage by walking the road of truth as far as they could. In many cases it turned out their truth wasn’t (and isn’t) accurate. It could even be seen as a mistake. But the best of them were sincere and committed to the journey.
Scientific Truth
Equally courageous were the scientists who dedicated their lives to walking that road of truth. Some were excommunicated, some were shunned, some were killed. But they knew the road they were on and were seeing it to the end. Just as in the religious journey, the scientific journey also had (and has) truths be discovered later to be inaccurate. It could even be seen as a mistake. But the best of them were also sincere and committed to the journey.
The Road of Truth
The truth is the road of truth demands effort. You can’t cruise down it in a BMW on cruise control. You can’t take a bus down it, or a train on the tracks next to it. You can’t fly over it. You have to walk it, explore it, commit to it. It’s a long journey that everyone has to take by themselves. You can stop and read, stop and sleep, stop and contemplate, but it would be a mistake to not get up again and start down the path. And the farther you go, the more you realize you need no facade, no fancy clothes, no money, no glass house. Just you naked in your search on the road of truth.
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Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman
Quote by the Buddha
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by Marty Coleman | Jul 15, 2013 | Franklin P. Jones, Making Mistakes - 2013 |
I have enough experience to know that ‘Making Mistakes’ #3 is here today.
Why Do I Always…
Do you ask that question? You know, the one that ends with “end up with the wrong guy?” What answer did you come up with?
I don’t ask myself that exact question. But I do wonder why I repeat the same mistakes more than once. It’s not that I never learn, it’s just that it takes more than one experience to learn. Even if I can see that next mistake barreling down the highway at me, I still sometimes avoid getting out of the way until it’s too late. Do you, or did you use to, do the same thing? Why is that? Why does it take so long to learn from our mistakes?
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Drawing and questions by Marty Coleman
Quote by Franklin P. Jones, 1908 – 1980, Philadelphia reporter, public relations executive and humorist
“Experience is that marvelous thing that enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.”
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by Marty Coleman | Jul 12, 2013 | Making Mistakes - 2013, Scott Adams |
If I am not mistaken, today is day two of our ‘Making Mistakes’ series.
In The Beginning
When I was in about 4th grade I did an art piece. It was a collage with painting. It had pieces of newspapers here and there on the paper, with big areas of white and big areas of red overlapping them. When I had got that far I looked at it and thought it still looked boring, wasn’t complete. So I took some blue paint and sort of drip/splattered ala Jackson Pollack, all over the piece. I thought it looked great.
However, my best friend, Craig, looked at it and said something I have never forgotten. He said, ‘You ruined it with that last blue splatter stuff. You always go to far with your art.’ Now I know what you are thinking…4th grade? Really? Who were you two pretending to be, Matisse and Picasso? But as odd as it sounds, that is exactly how it came down.
The Editor
I remembered that admonition from Craig throughout all my years in High School, College, Graduate School and as a practicing and exhibiting artist. I remember it not because it was true in that particular instance, I still liked the piece and that it was better with the blue splatters, but because it was my first real lesson in looking at art as not just what you do but what you don’t do, what you leave out. It was my first encounter with the verbalized idea of editing.
As I went about getting my degrees in art back in the 70s and 80s I saw the lesson lived out again and again, in my own development and in the development of my fellow artists. The ones who progressed, who moved forward and got better, were the ones who spent as much time discerning, editing and rejecting as they did creating. The ones who languished were the ones who only created and never edited. The created, but they didn’t create art. At least not art of a very high caliber.
The Tale of Three Camps
They were in one of two camps. They either were too easily satisfied, never going far enough or they always went too far. Of the two camps, ‘Camp Too Far’ was always the more interesting and compelling. It’s like a Ferrari that goes too fast. Seeing it speed by is energizing and a bit scary and perhaps seeing the wreck down the road may be hard to look at, but you look anyway. I’ve been in that camp before (As Craig pointed out). ‘Camp Not Far Enough’ is like Ferrari driven too slow by a little old lady. Not only is it boring to watch but it is frustrating because you know the potential is there, they just won’t put on the gas. Rarely have I been in ‘Camp Not Far Enough’.
Of course, for me, the camp I aspire to live in, and do so more and more as the years progress, is ‘Camp Far’. It’s like the driver who may drive fast at times but knows when to speed up and when to slow down. They don’t often wreck, but they also are willing to risk having a glorious failure in their attempt to push their passion to where it needs to go. The driver knows the accelerator and the brake pedals are next to each other for a reason.
The Fourth Camp
Are you willing to make a mistake? If you aren’t then you aren’t likely to achieve much either. You might be in another camp. The one Henry David Thoreau named ‘Camp Quiet Desperation’. You don’t want to be in that camp.
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Drawing and Commentary by Marty Coleman
Quote by Scott Adams, 1957 – not dead yet, American cartoonist. Creator of Dilbert.
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