by Marty Coleman | Mar 18, 2013 | Pete Cashmere, Social Media - 2013 |
Just between you and me, this post is about privacy.
Naked Long Ago
I once got in a bit of trouble for showing a naked picture of myself to someone. We had a conversation about my burn scars and how I had had them so long I didn’t really remember what I looked like without them. Later I came across a long ago photo, taken in high school, of me about to go skinny dipping by jumping off a boat into the water. It was the last photo I remember that showed my body with no scars. Since I was facing away from the camera and my wiener wasn’t showing I thought it would be no big deal to show it to this person. I was wrong. And that was just a single printed image, not a digital image that is traveling around the world at a million miles a second.
Naked Now
Imagine being Prince Harry at a party in Vegas? That was a bit more exposure than he wanted, that’s for sure. Even his sister-in-law, the Duchess of Cambridge, sunbathing miles out in the middle of nowhere, got photographed with her boobies exposed. Luckily for both of them the public had their fun and then left it alone. Seeing Harry’s fella and Kates bosom is trivial and inconsequential.
But think about the rape case in Ohio that just was at trial this past week. If it weren’t for social media in images and words, the rape would likely never have been found out and the victim would not have had justice done. Two young men were found guilty in large part due to twitter, youtube and other social media engagements that allowed a trail of evidence and memory to be fitted together. Social media helped find the truth.
The Middle of Nowhere is Everywhere
Social media imagery is everywhere. If you do something bad, especially in a group, there is a very good chance it will be exposed beyond the borders of the party or event and you will be found out, and that is good. But if you do something good and innocent, like skinny dipping, there is also a chance of being exposed well beyond the borders of the swimming hole and that might be bad.
Morals of the story? 1. Be careful with your image, naked or otherwise. 2. Use the images you have to make things better when you can.
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Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman
Quote by Pete Cashmore, Founder of Mashable.com
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by Marty Coleman | Mar 14, 2013 | Blair Sobel, Born Day - 2013 |
Don’t act like you didn’t know day #4 of Happy Born Day week wasn’t upon you!
Born
We are born and our parents instinctively know we are like them in many ways, even as a crinkly naked newborn. But we don’t know that. We spend our youth discovering we are individuals. We grow into young adults striving to create our own identity. We spend our 20s promising ourselves we will not be like our parents in many ways.
Born Again
Then we turn 30, or maybe it’s some other age, but there is that moment when you realize you are your parents. Slightly modified, slightly mutated, slightly taller, slightly smarter, slightly healthier. But even with all those slightlies you realize you so essentially consist of who they are that to try to deny it is futile.
Born Again Again
And then something more dramatic happens. You realize once again that you aren’t your parents. You have them in you, but you aren’t them. You can decide to not drink so much. You can decide to be a better parent, or make more money, or be out in nature more. You can decide to be like them or not, depending on if you like who they are or not. You are not gripped by the genome as tight as you might think. You can retain, discard, expand, modify. It’s within your control. Keep the best, get rid of the rest.
Born
And all the while you are going through that process, your kids are repeating it in front of your eyes. Life happens that way.
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Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman, who is the son of Skeets and Lee Coleman.
Quote by Blair Sabol, a very interesting character – Read up on her.
Blair Sabol by Wayne Thiebaud – Oil on canvas – 1965
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Here’s a picture of the Comet I took last night.
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by Marty Coleman | Mar 12, 2013 | Born Day - 2013, Jo Brand |
Any way you slice it, today is day #2 of Happy Born Day week!
Vicious vs Kind
We in the western developed world are not usually reminded so viciously of death as they are where disease and war ravage nations with impunity.
We are lucky in that birthdays are the kindest way of setting in front of us our own march to mortality, that we will die.
Depression vs Cake
Sound depressing? Yes and no. Yes, we will die and that thought can be a bummer. But then again no, because it also tells us that while we are alive we should eat the dang cake already! The cake may be a real cake, but it can also be a metaphorical cake.
Eat from life, take a hold of what you want, or stretch out your hand and reach for it until you can take hold. It won’t always be there, YOU won’t always be there. Don’t wait.
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Drawing and commentary © 2019 Marty Coleman | napkindad.com
Quote by Jo Brand, 1957 – not dead yet, English comedian
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Physiology question from yesterday answered
Question: How many years does it take for your body to create an entirely new skeleton?
Answer: It takes 7 years for a whole new set of cells to replace the prior set of cells that make up your skeleton.
Geography question from yesterday answered
Question: What country has the longest living humans, on average (life expectancy)?
Answer: the Principality of Monaco in Europe. The average age people live to is 89 years. The second highest average is found in the island nation of Macau, where the average is 84 years.
Monaco
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by Marty Coleman | Mar 11, 2013 | Born Day - 2013, Satchel Paige |
It’s the birth of BORN DAY week!
The Old Were Once Young, Perhaps.
Have you ever met someone you felt was never young? They are the ones who have always been old looking, acting, thinking and/or doing? I have. Most people who seem to be old before their time were probably young once. They probably played in the mud, built forts out of cushions and tried to get around the entire house without touching the floor because it was lava.
These Kids Today
But you would never know it from looking at or hearing them speak now. What do they look like now? They look like someone so contained, so prim and proper, that you can’t imagine them without a business suit on, or without a scowl on their face. They are concerned with everything being seen as perfect; nothing garish or loud or too funny or possibly controversial. They won’t like anything that culturally came after they were about 15 years old. They won’t approve of the youth today, even if they are among the youth of today. They will put great emphasis on doing the right thing, and the right thing will always be something that rocks no boats and ruffles no feathers. Nothing should stand out and if it does they will make sure the world knows it is not approved of.
It’s not the gradual aging that brings wisdom, love and an ironic smile about how life is. It’s the premature aging that comes from judgment, fear and moral self-righteousness. It’s ugly and depressing to see. It’s bad enough to be around a person like that, it must be torture to actually be someone like that.
Remembering Forward
Do you want to avoid that? Then remember back and remember forward. Remember back to your youth. The world did not collapse when you acted like a 10 year old. Why? because you WERE a 10 year old and that was ok. Many of the things a 10 year old did had nothing to do with right and wrong, it had to do with joy. Joy in discovery, make believe, humor, laughter and silliness. And then remember forward to right before your death and let’s pretend that moment is right now. What will you regret? Laughing and playing and being silly with your friends? I doubt it. I bet you will regret NOT doing those things when you had the chance.
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Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman, who acts younger than he is and is proud of it.
Quote by Satchel Paige, who pitched in Major League Baseball until he was in his 60s (or so they say, he never really did know his exact birthday).
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Physiology Question of the Day
How many years does it take for your body to create an entirely new skeleton?
Geography Question of the Day
What country has the longest living humans on average?
Come back tomorrow for the answers
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by Marty Coleman | Mar 7, 2013 | Compliments & Complications - 2013, Mark Twain |
It’s a compliment just to be nominated for Best Napkin Drawing of Day #4 of Compliment Week!
Compliments – The Love Hate Tango
I started this series because I had a conversation with a friend in which she said she didn’t know how to take compliments very well. She thought she was alone in that regard and I assured her that is not true, that a LOT if not most people, especially women, are not at all comfortable or believing of compliments given to them.
While I started to look for quotes and ideas relating to compliments I did indeed come across many who were also not comfortable with praise and compliments. But I also came across many who love compliments, live for them, get sustenance from them and continually hope for them. Mark Twain was one and this quote is an example. It seems egotistical but I think he meant it tongue in cheek, a self-deprecating comment about his own ego.
The Compliment Pool
But there is another way to take this quote. Perhaps it can be interpreted not as wanting more ego stroking, but wanting more specificity. The woman in my drawing is saying ‘nice font’ while reading a profound book. She is staying shallow and superfluous. noticing just the surface, when there is a whole world of depth she has completely ignored.
The Deep End
What about you? When you give a compliment, do you really say what you truly admire, or do you say something generic and forgettable? If you want your compliments to have more power the focus in on more than ‘You are handsome’ or ‘nice work’. Dig down a bit and see if you can’t be more specific. Why is he handsome? How about ‘You have a great jaw line.’ Why was her work nice? Can you say ‘You did a fantastic job negotiating with that client.’ instead?
I can imagine Mark Twain meaning it that way. Perhaps he wanted a compliment that dug down a bit deeper, that reflected a deeper understanding on the part of the person giving the compliment.
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Drawing by Marty Coleman
Quote by Mark Twain, whom I compliment on his vast array of quotes about compliments.
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Compliment of the Week
Judge Nicki Minaj’s compliment to American Idol contestant Tenna Torres (wearing the outfit below) – “I like your hair, I like your boobs, too.”
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by Marty Coleman | Mar 6, 2013 | Compliments & Complications - 2013, Robert Brault |
I know I am making you happy when I compliment your arrival at day #3 of Compliments Week!
The Visual Compliment
Imagine a compliment being something you could visually see, that as it came out of your mouth it became something real, floating over to the person it was directed at. What would your compliments turn into? Would it be a bright, garish sticker slapped on a woman’s breasts saying ‘NICE RACK’ or a man’s posterior saying, ‘NICE ASS? Would it be a generic puff of cotton that whispered, ‘I guess you look nice’ as it blew away and was forgotten? Maybe it would be a swirl of glitter that said, ‘oh shiny!’ as it landed on a diamond ring.
The Happiness Blanket
But maybe your compliment can come out as a happiness blanket. It would cover the whole person, no matter what specific compliment you are giving. And guess what? If you deliberately endeavor in advance to make your compliment, whatever it is, a warm blanket of love, given freely and with joy, then you will be happy. If you are happy in giving a compliment there is a much greater chance the recipient will also feel some level of happiness.
Give that compliment today.
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Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman, who always compliments freckles, which are a like a blanket of happiness in and of themselves.
Quote by Robert Brault
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Literary Question of the Day
“It was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen” is the first line of what novel?
Come back tomorrow for the answer
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by Marty Coleman | Mar 5, 2013 | Compliments & Complications - 2013, George Chapman |
I am flattered you have shown up for day #2 of Compliments week!
Flattery Wolf
Flattery is fine. You just have to know what it is. It is a social nicety. It is grease that smooths the rough edges of social interactions. It is attached to an agenda. An agenda isn’t necessarily bad or evil or dangerous. But it can be. You have to be aware. Maybe it’s a benign agenda, the man just likes you. The man just wants a little attention and so he is just giving some attention. Maybe it’s cancerous and the man becomes a wolf and wants to get in your pants or in your wallet or in your life for some nefarious reason. You have to have a discernment about people, and men in particular. It should be up to the man to be good, not bad. He is responsible for that. But if he is not, if he is a wolf, and some men are, then you must be responsible for your side of it, the discernment, wisdom and knowledge to tell the difference between a wolf and a dog.
Complimentary Dog
Compliments are fine. But how do you know they are real, true, legitimate compliments and not underhanded flattery with an attached agenda to it? You know by what happens after the compliment. Does the man remain attentive to you in more ways than just complimenting you? Does he back up his supposed admiration for you by acting like someone who admires and respects you? Is he sensitive to what you want to talk about and do or is he pushy and insistent, always directing you back to what his agenda is? It isn’t that the man doesn’t have desires and hopes and even lusts. But he understands their place, that they are behind and less important than finding out and trying to meet your needs. A Complimentary Dog does that, a Flattery Wolf does not.
The Fight
So, who am I to make the case about Flattery Wolf vs Complimentary Dog? I can make the case because I have been both. And I bet if you ask most men they would say they have been both too. It is a fight between the two in many men. Which one wins? The one that gets fed wins. Do you, as the object of attention, reward the dog or the wolf? Do you enable the bad behavior or the good behavior?
I know it is rife with issues to call men dogs or wolves, obviously the analogy only goes so far. It does break down eventually. But it also has many useful elements to it in trying to understand how men think. And the better you understand how men think and act perhaps the better you will be in understanding how to deal with their flatteries and compliments.
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Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman, who would be a dalmatian if he were a dog.
Quote by George Chapman, 1559-1634, English dramatist
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Historical Question from Yesterday Answered
Question: Oscar Wilde was put on trial, convicted and sent to prison for what crime?
Answer: Wilde was prosecuted for ‘Gross Indecency’. This was a charge leveled against suspected homosexuals who were not caught doing the expressly forbidden deed of anal intercourse, or buggery as it was known then (and which had a possible sentence of death), but were caught being too flagrant about their life in the otherwise underground web of homosexual society. Wilde spent 2 years in prison doing hard labor. When he came out he moved to France, never to return to England. He died destitute.
Oscar Wilde
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by Marty Coleman | Mar 4, 2013 | Compliments & Complications - 2013, Oscar Wilde |
It’s not complicated – today is day #1 of Compliments Week at the NDD.
Complimenting Cleavage – An Embarrassing Story
This past weekend I went to an art gallery opening. My wife Linda was out of town so I was solo. The gallery was filled with well dressed, glamourous people. I saw a friend and we were talking about my napkins, which she said she loved getting every day. She is well known and so she was constantly seeing and greeting new people as they came by. I waited patiently for a respite to continue the conversation when I noticed a woman next to me also waiting to speak to this woman. She had on a very intricate lace top with little colored things woven in. Under it was a plain black camisole. She also had on an elegant necklace that went to mid-chest. Her hair framed the necklace and the lace top very nicely.
I noticed all this in a split second, turned to her and said, with a hand gesture, “I love your top!” Just as I said it realized, along with all those other things I just mentioned, that she had a very pronounced cleavage. Large breasts, low top. My choice of words suddenly didn’t seem the best. She looked at me like I had just said the most awkward thing I could have possibly said, and I had. I did my best to recover, doing another circle of my hand and saying, “It all works great; the lace, necklace, hair, very nice”. I then introduced myself, and we both turned our attention back to our mutual friend. I saw her on and off the rest of the night at that opening and a number of other ones on the same street. I had the distinct impression she was hopeful I would not come up and talk to her again.
The Complimenter
I am a complimenter. It can be interpreted as a come on, an insincere flattery, an over the top rambling, or any number of other things. But I don’t care because I know this truth; If I don’t say it, pretty soon I won’t think it. And if I don’t think it, I won’t notice it and if I don’t notice it the world will be incredibly dull, boring, grey, relentlessly serious, depressing, futile and ugly for me. I don’t want that and so I notice what I love in the world. I think about what I love in the world and I say what I love in the world. Sometimes it backfires and I am embarrassed but I would rather suffer that then live in a world where I can’t speak of the beauty I see.
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Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman, who does indeed love beautiful eyebrows.
Quote by Oscar Wilde, who loved beauty
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Historical question of the day
Oscar Wilde was put on trial, convicted and sent to prison for what crime?
Come back tomorrow to find the answer
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by Marty Coleman | Mar 1, 2013 | Anonymous, Meh Meh Mediocrity - 2013 |
Steady now, it’s finally day FOUR of Mediocrity Week!
The Invitation
Note the quote says it’s an invitation. That means you do not have to accept it. Having a regular paycheck at a steady job has within it the temptation to become mediocre. It does not mean it is a requirement. It is something to watch out for though because mediocrity in the work world is like a long term habit that leads to a disease that you don’t know you are acquiring until it is too late.
My Wife’s Resistance
My wife, Linda, is a business woman. She has worked in the same industry with the same company (bought and sold many times over) for over 20 years. She has had every opportunity to become settled and mediocre in her job but she hasn’t. She has always been committed to doing her job really well. There have been years and years of her building up effective business structures and procedures only to see them be dismantled by those who came after her. On a regular basis she is asked to go back in years later and clean up the detritus of failures and rebuild what she built before. And she does it. She has done this with the higher ups almost never realizing the incredible ability she has to do those things again and again. And the reason she can do them? Because she is dedicated to be not just competent but excellent at her job, whatever it is.
Tombstone
So, I have seen it done. The key is the desire to be excellent has to be internal. It cannot be decided by if you are high on your job at any one moment or not. It can’t be decided by the recognition, the salary, the perks. It has to be driven from your character. YOU have to want to be excellent apart from anyone or anything else. Just YOU.
If you are wondering if you want to be excellent, imagine having a tombstone that says, “Here Lies a Mediocre Human”.
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Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman, who is married to an excellent woman.
Quote is Anonymous
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Mediocrity Week has so far had visits from 36 countries including:
- Latvia
- Zimbabwe
- Uganda
- Suriname
- Algeria
- Malaysia
I am not sure why I think it’s cool that the NDD is so international in its reach but I do.
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by Marty Coleman | Feb 28, 2013 | Albert Camus, Meh Meh Mediocrity - 2013 |
I slept on it and next thing I know it’s day 3 of Mediocrity Week!
Signs of Life
My post yesterday showed a woman watching TV in the dark, pretty much unmotivated and inactive in life. She was leading a mediocre life and I illustrated it by showing her being idle while the world passed her by. But the truth is being idle is not necessarily a sign of mediocrity. It’s mostly a sign of nothing. It’s just something we all do. We all have times we are idle, not pursuing some grand goal. We just sit and read a light novel, or watch a funny TV show, or listen to frothy infectious pop music. If you have a drive to achieve something, a drive to be excellent at something, then that idle time is good. It is needed to rejuvenate your ideas, your creativity, your energy.
Signs of Death
But if you are living a mediocre life, a life unmotivated and without a flame of excellence then that same idleness is a killer. It is not rejuvenating you, it is burying you. It is helping you to die while you are still alive. So ask yourself – Are you taking a breather at the end of a long day? Then you are in good company, most of us like to do that. Or are you taking a breather from life? Then you might want to slap yourself awake and see if you might not want to pursue something greater than the killing mediocrity of never ending idleness.
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Drawing by Marty Coleman, who has never used curlers for their intended purpose.
Quote By Albert Camus, 1913-1960, French writer and philosopher. Winner of the Nobel Prize in Literature, 1957
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When I mentioned on twitter this morning that I was drawing a woman with curlers in her hair my friend and fellow running coach Theresa thought I might need some inspiration so she sent me a photo of herself in curlers. She says she sometimes will even stop at a convenience store to get something while in her curlers AND has been hit on a number of times. She says it has to do with her confidence, that she is who she is and likes it, curlers or not! I have to agree, that’s what confidence is all about!
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Trivia Question from yesterday answered
Question: A man known to many as ‘The most hated man in America’ was suppose to be on the Titanic but missed the boat. Who was he and why did he miss it?
Answer: Henry Clay Frick. He was the chairman of Andrew Carnegie’s steel company and was the man in charge of the violent response to a worker’s strike in 1892 at the Homestead Steel Plant. As a result of that he became widely hated in the US. He and his wife, Adelaide, were ticketed to be aboard the Titanic but she sprained her ankle in Italy shortly before the voyage and they were not able to make the crossing.
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