by Marty Coleman | Feb 6, 2013 | Anonymous, How To Kiss - 2013 |
Today is Day Two of How to Kiss week! You know what you can do if you don’t like it.
Kissing Ass
Way back when, in the last century, I worked at a restaurant called Eulipia in San Jose, California. I worked there for 13 years, most of those years with the same people. We were a very close crew and did some pretty funny things with each other after being together for so long.
One day a waitress/manager, who I had been working with for many years, was standing on a step stool, reaching up to turn on the stereo system for the day. I am not sure why that day I did this but I walked by and without thinking twice hugged her around the legs and kissed her jeans covered butt, which was just perfectly situated at my eye level. She turned around and screamed, ‘MARTY!’ with a bit of astonishment but also with a smile and a laugh. I looked up at her and said, “You always want me to kiss your ass, so now I have!” and walked on. We had a good laugh about it for many years after that.
Most of the time kissing ass is really not nearly that much fun. Do you have a kick ass kiss ass story, good or bad?
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Drawing and revealing biographical sketch by Marty Coleman, who, after all, does have a reputation to uphold.
Quote by Anonymous
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Answer to yesterday’s trivia question
Question: What is philematology the study of?
Answer: The study of kissing, of course. Learn more kissing trivia about it here.
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by Marty Coleman | Jan 31, 2013 | Malcolm de Chazal |
Alone Together
It’s so easy to fall into a pattern of non-communication when you are with the same person for a long time. At first it might even seem wonderful, you can be in the same room and not feel the need to constantly talk to each other. But over time, if certain frictions have occurred and not been talked through successfully, the silence isn’t just quiet time, It’s resentment time disguised as quiet. Multiply that over years and you can’t talk about anything. Not only are you far apart in emotions but that lack of communication also leads to being far apart in interests, needs, hopes, fears, creativity, desire, and more.
Electric Fence vs Boiling Frogs
The silence becomes like an unseen electrified fence between the two of you. Touch it and you are shocked. Someone or something does have to break through that force field and be willing to accept the pain that comes with touching it. If not, you might feel safe for quite a long time, much like a frog that is dropped in warm water and feels fine until it finally realizes the water is too hot. By then it is too late. While you are in that water that is increasing in heat you might feel profound unhappiness, sadness and loss. But you might also think it will cool down on it’s own if you just wait it out. And you might be right. But you are more likely to be wrong. Either way you will probably go through greater pain than than if you had decided to break through the electric fence.
And who knows, maybe that fence isn’t as fatal to touch as you might think. It might actually be the very thing you need to save your relationship. Either way you will at least know and be able to move forward, right? Or is it just too dangerous to try? Are you in the slowly boiling pot? What keeps you in it?
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Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman, who has been through it.
Quote by Malcolm de Chazal, 1902-1981, Mauritian painter
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Trivia Questions from Yesterday:
Questions: Which language has the least amount of words? Which language has the fewest letters in it’s alphabet?
Answer: The language with fewest words is Taki Taki, 340 words. The language with shortest letters is Rotokas, 12 letters.
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by Marty Coleman | Jan 30, 2013 | Samuel Taylor Coleridge |
Girl Talk
Do you think in ‘Girl’? Or maybe you think in ‘Guy’? Perhaps it’s even ‘Girly Girl’ or ‘Guys’ Guy’ that is your language of choice? Well, this napkin is promoting the idea that to be truly great you must combine those two into one. Now, I am not just talking about the generic type of great as in ‘He does great work with wounded vets’ or ‘She is a great violinist’. I am also talking about the type of great that can also mean successful, as in ‘They have a great marriage’ or ‘They make a great song writing team’.
Second Language
When we talk about that type of great we mean that they understand each other and work well together. And that is possible because no matter if ‘Girl’ or ‘Guy’ is their first language, they make an effort to learn the other language as well. They study it, they practice it, they seek to understand the subtle meanings within it. They don’t resent it and make fun of it and complain to their friends about how stupid people are who speak that other language. They realize they love and respect that other person and believe learning their language is worth it. They also know that learning their own language isn’t all that easy either and they give the non-native speaker a break when they get something wrong or don’t understand.
Fluency
What about you? Are you actively trying to understand and care for those who don’t speak your language? Are you helping them to learn it or are you just complaining when they aren’t fluent? And on the other side, are you sincerely trying to learn that other language with which you are unfamiliar? If you do, then you are you will reach your goal.
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Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman, who speaks 2 languages.
Quote by Samuel Taylor Coleridge, 1772-1834, English poet
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Trivia questions of the day:
Which language has the least amount of words? Which language has the fewest letters in it’s alphabet?
Come back tomorrow to find out the answer
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by Marty Coleman | Jan 29, 2013 | Art, Creativity - 2009-2013, Johann Goethe |
Who’s Afraid?
I watched a TV segment about Edward Albee recently. He is the Pulitzer Prize winning playright whose most famous work is ‘Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf’. The interviewer was asking him if he considered that the subject matter would be offensive to some. His response was, yes he knew it might be but that the play was telling him what needed to be in it, not people who may or may not be offended by it.
Art Creating Itself
That is how it is with me as well. My imagination starts somewhere and then once I put pen to paper the images tells me where to go and what to do. It tells me what it wants to be. The more I listen to that the better the work. The more I listen to a possible future offended person the more I will create something self-censored, something that looks like someone else’s work, not my own.
That is why I often draw nudes. The content and message in the depiction of a nude says something I want to say. Clothing the person would take that element of the idea away and if I bow to that pressure I am diminishing my power as an artist to create something expressive and valuable. If someone is offended or interprets the work in ways I don’t anticipate that is ok, I even like hearing about that and learning from it. But I can’t try to extrapolate what that might be in advance just to save someone somewhere a possible hard thought or offensive reaction.
You Creating Yourself
So it is with creating your whole self as well as a work of art. Chisel and hammer out who you want to be, not who you would be if you offended no one. Because if you turn yourself into who someone else wants you to be, you become hard to know, admire and love. The world ends up seeing a watered down you, diluted with someone else’s ideas of who you should be instead of the full flavored you. And you’ll end up offending someone anyway.
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Drawing and Commentary by Marty Coleman, who is who he is.
Quote by Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe, 1749-1832, German playright and poet, among other things.
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Trivia Question from yesterday answered
Question: Which U.S. President sewed his own clothes as well as some of his wife’s?
Answer: Andrew Johnson. The 17th President was trained and employed as a tailor early in his life and never gave up the practice.
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by Marty Coleman | Jan 28, 2013 | Louisa May Alcott |
What the Pearl Did
I think I have mentioned before that my father, Skeets Coleman, was somewhat famous. He was a test pilot back in the 50s who flew the first vertical takeoff and landing airplane. As a matter of fact, he was the only one to have flown it. He gained fame from those years of dangerous work, with commercials, interviews, fame and recognition within the aviation community. It led him to great jobs, wonderful opportunities to make money, support his family and promote aviation in the best way he knew how. I still get calls and emails from people wanting his autograph, photo or to conduct an interview with him. At age 94 he doesn’t have the mental acuity to do that but he still remembers his glory days, better than most other things in life actually.
What the Pearl Didn’t Do
So, you could say he was one of the lucky ones who brought the pearl back up. Only it was only one pearl. Yes, he was able to parlay that pearl into other things, and that is good. But that pearl didn’t make him something he was not. The pearl didn’t cause him to not drink so much. The pearl didn’t cause him rid himself of his temper. The pearl didn’t make him more moral or ethical or loving or kind. What the pearl did was make him and his endeavors more recognizable to more people. That was the pearl he picked up. And it was a good pearl.
Many Pearls
But we can’t depend on one pearl to satisfy us, just as ultimately it didn’t satisfy my father. He had to dive down again and find other pearls, not associated fame. He had to find the pearl of wisdom, the pearl of patience, the pearl of satisfaction, the pearl of brokenness. It was when he found those pearls that he became the better man. It was collecting those other pearls that allowed him to grow and learn and become worthy of that first pearl of fame.
What pearls are you diving for?
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Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman, who loves his father.
Quote by Louisa May Alcott, 1832-1888, American author
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Trivia question of the day
Which U.S. President sewed his own clothes as well as some of his wife’s?
Come back tomorrow for the answer.
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by Marty Coleman | Jan 25, 2013 | Quote Authors |
Hey Napkin Kin!
Did you know you can know easily subscribe to the Napkin Dad Daily? Take a look on your right and you’ll see the box where you can put in your email. Do that, then confirm when the first email arrives and voila, you will get it in your inbox right away, not a day later like the old version. Go check it out!
Do you like the Napkin Dad Daily? Here are some ways you can help spread the news about it.
- Tell your friends. Send them a photo of my handsome mug and tell them I am a famous movie star who has a blog. They will sign up for sure!
- Send a link to your friend who happens to be the Marketing Vice-President (or CEO) of a paper company who makes napkins who needs a great spokesperson for their product (that would be me).
- Send a link to Prismacolor Marker and Pen Company and say, “Hey, have you heard of this guy? He does amazing things on napkins using your pens!
- Send a link to your mother.
Give more ideas in the comments below! If we work together we can be the Napkin that took over the world!
Thanks,
Marty
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by Marty Coleman | Jan 23, 2013 | Calvin Coolidge, Lying About The Truth - 2013 |
The Truth Sayer
Are you a sayer? Are you one that can often be heard saying, ‘Well, at least you know where I stand because I always say what I think.’ It always sounds so good. You are just being truthful after all, and telling the truth is important, right?
The Hate Sayer
But what if you don’t know if it’s true or not? What if what you are really doing is spouting hateful condemnation, judgment, self-righteousness and faux moral superiority about someone you don’t even know? Do you not do that? That is good. But think twice. What about the Miss Universe who stumbles over her words? What about the male bodybuilder who has muscles on muscles on muscles? What about the guy wearing a turban in Wal-Mart? What about the girl whose shorts are just a little too short and whose tattoos are just a little to garish? What about the short round kid and the skinny tall kid? What about that older actress dating that younger man?
The World Changer
Do you really, truly want to change the world? One way is to be quiet and not speak when you are about to make a judgment. If it is not about truth but instead is about you using words to step on someone’s back to lift yourself up then be quiet instead.
The Love Maker
I suspect you will find that the world didn’t go in the crapper because you didn’t say those hurtful words. You might find that your friends still like you in spite of you not having made the biting remark about the waitress with the bright blue eyeshadow. You might find that nothing changed at all except your attitude. Maybe you will find more love seeping into your heart, who knows.
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Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman, who loves all the people mentioned above. Especially the waitress with the bright blue eyeshadow.
Quote by Calvin Coolidge, 1872-1933, 30th President of the United States.
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Mythology Trivia Question from yesterday answered:
Question: Who is the Queen of the Underworld in Greek Mythology?
Answer: Persephone was the daughter of Zeus and the Goddess of the Harvest, Demeter. She was kidnapped by Hades, King of the Underworld and became his wife. Her mother Demeter found out that Zeus had conspired with Hades in the abduction. As a result Demeter refused to allow any growth on the earth until Persephone was allowed to return to her. Zeus relented and allowed Persephone to come back to the surface in the Spring. But since she had already married Hades and had tasted the fruits of the underworld she was compelled to live in the underworld starting in the Fall. The flowers and vegetation then failed as she disappeared, only to return when she did the following Spring. She became known as the Goddess of Vegetation as well as the Queen of the Underworld.
Persephone – Thomas Hart Benton
Here is a painting of an old farmer peeking at a young nude woman. It might seem a bit creepy but not if you know it’s really about the bittersweet feeling the farmer has at seeing Persephone discard her summer glory and disappear again for another year. He is grateful for the harvest she made possible but is wistful at her departure, just as we often are when we see autumn leaves start to fall.
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by Marty Coleman | Jan 21, 2013 | Lyndon Johnson |
Hate
A lot of hate has infused itself in the politics of the last year, especially from the right. But it isn’t in a vacuum. This round of hate has its roots, in part, in the election and reelection of George W. Bush in 2000 and 2004. Many on the left were hateful towards that President just as many on the right are hateful now towards Obama. I am not talking about disagreement or anger about policies. I am talking about irrational and destructive hate.
Left and Right
Both the left and the right who indulge in that level of vitriol and hate very likely have a short memory about their own anger at seeing the opposite pole be hateful before. They said, and probably rightly so, those people are way off base. They just hate the guy, impugning his motives and promoting the idea that he has a set of diabolical plans to create a dictatorship or a corporate oligarchy or some other terrible thing. People thought it of Bush and it wasn’t true and they think it of Obama and it isn’t true.
Forgetting their Forebearers
But there are those who are interested in something evil and un-American. They are those who, left or right, want to deny rights to those who are different than they are. It doesn’t matter if it’s a Muslim they think doesn’t deserve to be here in the US, a gay couple they think doesn’t deserve to be married, a woman they think doesn’t have the right to be a boss or a President, or a religious group who wants to live life a certain way. Those who believe those things, especially those who actively fight against those freedoms, are betraying America. The betray America because they have forgotten (if they ever knew it) that it was their own forebearers who founded the country on these very principles of freedom and rights.
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Drawing and Commentary by Marty Coleman, who loves Inaugurations.
Quote by President Lyndon Johnson at his Inauguration as President, January 20th, 1965
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Answer to the trivia question from yesterday
Question: Who replaced Napoleon as the leader of France?
Answer: King Louis XVIII, who came from exile to rule from 1814-1824
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by Marty Coleman | Jan 15, 2013 | Aleksander Fredro, Fools - 2013 |
It’s a joy to present this foolish drawing for day one of ‘What a Fool’ week!
Who is a Fool?
How do you know when someone is a fool and when they are not? Obviously not all big busted women and body building men are fools so why did I choose to show them together? Because they were fun to draw, of course. No, seriously, it’s because they are representations of those who are focused and obsessed on one shallow or dangerous thing while ignoring the larger reality they live in. They are oblivious to the high cliff they are standing on. That, to me, is the definition of a fool. And it’s not that a fool goes looking for another fool. They just go looking for someone like them, and that turns out to be another fool.
What a Mirror Doesn’t Show
You might think that me of all people would be the one to say, ‘Don’t worry about what others think of you.’ But the truth is we all have a bit of the fool in us. How self-aware we are of those foolish parts is the key to moderating them so they don’t send us over a cliff of some sort. One of the best ways to be self-aware is to be other-aware. What I mean is we often don’t see ourselves from but one side. In the mirror we see a front view for example, we don’t see our profile. We don’t see our back in the mirror. That is why, if you have a partner, you might ask him or her to see how you look from the back. Is there a tag showing, a stain on your dress, a big patch of cat hair on your bottom? Having someone else see you helps you see yourself better.
Caring What Others Think
The same is true in your behaviors and words, not just your knit sweater. To have friends and family who you trust and who trust you to listen is really important. To have good and honest feedback in work and play is critical to growth. You hear how others see you and you can make a choice about whether what they said is important or not, whether it’s actually a fair criticism or not. And if that is the case, then what you heard from another person then becomes something you believe as well and can decide to work on from the inside. It’s part of how you see yourself now. And that means you are more self-aware than you were before. That is a good thing.
Overdose of Other
Of course, a big problem in many societies is that there is too much attention paid to what others think. Your life becomes all about satisfying the expectations of others. You must be this way, you must believe this, you must respond like this, you must wear this, and for God’s sake, you must NOT wear that! And if you don’t, you are shunned and bullied and made fun of. And as hard and scary as it is to withstand that and decide for yourself if you do or do not want to do, believe, respond, wear this or that, it is truly the only way to ensure you don’t become that other sort of fool, the fool who is so other-aware that they cease to have a self to be self-aware about.
Taking a Stand
It is much better to take your stand as early as you can, with courage, with grace, with forgiveness for the person coming at you, and most importantly, with humor and a smile. If it’s late in the game, you can still do it. It’s harder, but it’s also more rewarding to finally let the world know, this is me, and this is not. No one is a fool who does that with love in their heart.
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Drawing by Marty Coleman, who looks just like that guy.
Quote by Aleksander Fredro, 1793-1876, Polish Poet and Author
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Trivia Of The Day answered
Trivia question from last week:
If a Saint is depicted with three balls, who is he?
Answer: You know him really well, It’s SANTA CLAUS!
St. Nicholas gave 3 gold balls (or sacks of gold depending on the story version) to an impoverished father who could not afford the dowry needed to have his 3 daughters get married. Check it and other symbols for St. Nick here.
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by Marty Coleman | Jan 11, 2013 | Art, Robert Ingersoll |
Biting Critique
Have you ever been in a critique? I went to Cranbrook Academy of Art for graduate school back in the early 80s. I was in the printmaking department and once a week we would have critiques with the entire group (18 students). They were brutal and if I had been illustrating what it was really like in this drawing she would not just have her hand and foot gone but her head as well. How bad was it? I was denied admission for a second and final year because my work wasn’t good enough in my professor’s eyes. We had moved 2,000 miles across the country for me to go to school there and a year later I was out and we had to go back to California. I started over and eventually got my graduate degree, an MFA, from San Jose State University. But make no mistake, I was chewed up and spit out and it wasn’t fun.
Reaping
But, in truth, it was nature at it’s best. That means it was not a punishment for me and those who stayed for the second year didn’t get a reward. We all got consequences. I reaped the consequences of artistic and personal immaturities and arrogances on my part. I reaped the consequences of unhelpful habits on my part. I reaped the consequences of personality conflicts with a professor. I reaped the consequences of a system that I thought then, and I think now, had some serious flaws in it. But the totality of that experience had very little to do with rewards granted and punishments imposed in an arbitrary way. It had everything to do with cause and effect, action and reaction, truth and consequence.
What about you? Do you think you deserve to be punished or rewarded for something you have done? Or can you take the more neutral, less morally condemning view, that you are merely suffering the consequences?
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Drawing by Marty Coleman, who had to find a picture of a lion eating something to get it right.
Quote by Robert G. Ingersoll, 1833-1899, American orator and political leader. He is a forgotten gem of the golden age of American speech making. He is well worth investigating.
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Trivia of the Day
If a saint is depicted with three balls, who is he?
Answer will be at the next posting.
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