The Bully’s Fear – Bully Week #1
It’s not bullony that it’s officially Bully Week at the NDD!
Tell us a bully story of yours and what your thoughts are about it now.
___________________________
Drawing by Marty Coleman
Quote by Eric Hoffer
Being Perfect is Being Alone – Perfect Perfectionist series #4
It may be another week but it’s still the perfect day to continue my perfection series.
Do you know anyone who is perfect? See, proves my point. All perfect people are alone. And all who pretend to be perfect, they end up alone too. Maybe not physically alone, but emotionally and socially they quite likely will be. This will be especially true if they combine their perfection with judgment.
But wasn’t Jesus perfect? Personally I don’t think he was. I think he had imperfect reactions at times. For example, I think he was often annoyed and impatient with his followers (including his mother) instead of being understanding and patient. Realistically, I think he might have been grumpy and short with people if he was too hungry. He seems to have been harsh and a bit mean to whole groups of religious folks (the pharisees come to mind). He certainly was inconsiderate to his parents when he stayed behind in the temple when he should have been with them on the journey home. I think of Jesus as one who moved towards perfection much faster and with more courage than others (especially me) but I don’t think he was perfect.
Are you perfect? Or perhaps you just play a perfect person in real life? Either way you are probably much more alone than you wish to be. It’s not fun being #1 and alone. I bet you will find a lot of loving people ready to support and help you when you allow your honest, imperfect self to show through.
_________________________________________
Drawing, quote and commentary by Marty Coleman, who humbly submits that he has perfected the art of being imperfect.
Perfection and Progress – The Perfect Perfectionist series #3
It’s hard to improve on yesterday’s I know, but here is #3 of Perfectionist week.
I doubt many perfectionists would agree with this. But if you are a perfectionist and you believe in improvement how do you explain your constant belittling of yourself and your efforts while in the very act of improving? You know that you have to not be perfect in order to improve, otherwise you would already have achieved what you were attempting, right? If you believe in improvement in life, work, relationships, hobbies, creativity, art, and more then you should aspire to improve, not to be perfect.
What do you perfectionists think? Do you agree with the quote and with me or do you disagree?
_____________________________
Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman, who is Wabi Sabi.
Quote by Mr. Anonymous
Nice and Imperfect – The Perfect Perfectionist series #2
It’s a perfect day to give you #2 of my Perfectionist series.
Really? How you stand apart from others, how you are imperfect, brings joy? Sometimes it brings the bad kind of joy that isn’t really joy at all. It’s gossipy, mean-spirited, resentful, entertaining judgment disguised as joy. That is what much of today’s reality TV is based on. Real housewives, top models, bad restaurant and salon owners, locals who aren’t local to your locale, celebrities who wear something odd, anyone who can be seen as displaying what we would never do, wear, say, eat, play or believe. That is the ‘I will look at you, laugh at you and judge you so I can feel better about myself’ sort of joy. If that is what you indulge in, you are not only not doing yourself or your world any favors, you actually are doing damage to yourself and those around you.
So, can how you stand apart, how you are imperfect, bring legitimate joy? Yes, you can obviously bring joy when you are a good example in your imperfection. Maybe overcoming an obstacle, maybe fighting back from a setback. Or perhaps you are a going to only be a vehicle for joy by being a warning to others about how not to proceed in life; not a good example, but a bad example.
By the way, I allowed a few ‘imperfections’ to stay in the drawing, can you find them?
___________________________________________________
I happened upon a fantastic TED lecture this morning by Brene Brown. It addresses the idea of shame and vulnerability in a very compelling way. And it struck me that it really was addressing the issue of perfectionism and the fear of judgment as well. Find some time today to watch (or just listen to) this 20 minute presentation. It is well worth it and illuminates many ideas that are worth considering. Plus she is funny as all get out.
_______________________________________________
Drawing by Marty Coleman, who is ashamed to admit many things.
Quote by Doug Larson, 1926 – not dead yet, American journalist
The Perfect Perfectionist Series #1
You know what would be perfect? If I did a series on Perfectionism.
First, a disclaimer. I am not a perfectionist nor do I play one on TV.
A regular reader and commenter on my blog, Agnes, said I should do a series on perfectionism. it was perfect timing for her to say so because I had just finished giving a presentation at the 2nd annual Social Media Tulsa Conference on ‘The Six Stop Signs on Creativity Road’ and one of the stop signs is about perfectionism. As I gave the presentation I wished I had more time to spend on that topic. Now I do.
Let’s start Perfectionism week out with 2 questions to set the stage and get our definitions out there.
What is your definition of perfect?
What, within humankind’s thought and creation, can be, or is, perfect?
I will give my answers in the comments after a while.
___________________________________
Drawing by Marty Coleman, who thinks Oreos are perfect.
Quote by Winston Churchill, who liked a good cigar.
When In Doubt – Writing Lesson #8
Here is another in my ongoing series of Writing Lessons. I think I will go to 10 and then the series will be complete. Any good lessons you can think of that I should consider for the final 2?
What does a man coming through a door with a gun do for a story?
It causes anticipation. If you are in doubt about the direction of your story it is likely due to you yourself having lost that anticipation of what is going to happen. So, gun or not, door or not, make something that will cause you feel anticipation about the future of the story and you can guarantee your readers will feel it too.
It causes mortal fear. If you are in doubt about issues you are really dealing with in your story add in the fear of death and it will clarify your thinking on your reasons for writing the story. It will also clarify the course of the story for the reader.
It causes anger. Someone is about to violate one of the prime tenets of civilization, respecting other people’s right to their life. What is causing this person to reach that point in life? Or what is causing the person to protect others from that threat?
It causes humor. Nothing is more absurd than seeing a man or woman out of their comfort zone. Put the gun in the hand of a pageant queen or a elitist intellectual who has never seen a gun before and it could get pretty funny.
It obviously doesn’t have to be a man with a gun. But when it doubt, think about what might reignite anticipation, fear, anger or humor in yourself and the reader and you will be well on your way to clarifying your doubting thoughts.
_______________________________________________
Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman, who last fired a gun while skeet shooting as a teenager.
Quote by Raymond Chandler, 1888 – 1959, American Novelist and Screenwriter
Adam to Atom – History Lesson #5
Alas, we have reached the end of history.
What sort of fruit would the ‘Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil’ bear today?
Drawing and question by Marty Coleman, who used to think the little floaty things I got in my eye as a kid were atoms that I could see.
Quote by Leonard Louis Levinson who, it seems, wrote quotes.
Should We Condemn the Past? – History Lesson #4
1, 2, and 3 are past, so that makes this day #4 of History Lesson Week.
INFURIATIONS
This sentiment, ‘every past is worth condemning’, probably infuriates you as it did me when I first read it. I am often the one in arguments about history to defend the past era and the decisions made then. I don’t mean I approve of them, obviously I would not make many of the same decisions now. But that’s the point; I am in the present, not the past. Just as you have to take into consideration the age and mental capacity of your child when you react to what they say and do, you must do the same for the people of the past. They knew what they knew and as a result they said and did thing based on that knowledge, not based on our knowledge. So, I typically am against condemning the past, even if we now can say we don’t approve of the actions they took.But after reading this simple sentence over a number of times I am starting to see the value in it. By condemning the past and how they acted we are saying that we have learned, we have grown, we have gone beyond their understanding. That of course can be a two-edged sword. Not all knowledge from the past is wrong and often we find ourselves as a society moving back to past practices because we have found that our ‘progress’ really wasn’t so progressive. But plenty of knowledge from that past is worth condemning.
RATIONALIZATIONS
We don’t need to reexamine if slavery is something we should bring back. It has been condemned as wrong and we will not return to it. We don’t need to investigate if the subjugation of women is something we want to reinstitute. We know they are equal to the male of the species in every way and we are not going to return to the days of them being condemned to a lesser life. We condemn that attitude and any and all rationalizations, however valid they may have seemed at some point in the past. We know now they are not valid and we will not let them be used again.THE PAST AS PRESENT
The last point about women brings us to a dilemma. The past isn’t always in the past. We have subjugation of women going on all over the globe as I write this today. They are not allowed to vote, to drive, to own property, to have their own money, to participate as an equal member of society. The societies that are perpetrating this are still using the same arguments we once used not so long ago (don’t forget, less than 100 years ago women did not have the right to vote in the USA).We can also find it with us today in the US and other supposedly enlightened western countries. You don’t have to go much farther than the headlines of the last week over Rush Limbaugh’s disgusting statements about one woman in particular (and be inference virtually all women in the US) to know we still have a long way to go to move past some of those same rationalizations we thought we had left behind.
Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman of The Napkin Dad Daily
Quote by Friedrich Nietzsche, 1844-1900, German philosopher
The Merging of Character and Circumstances – History Lesson #3
Don’t get distracted, not while it’s only day #3 of History Lesson Week!
I sometimes get distracted easily. I work at home so it might be like today where I heard a bang up in the attic. Investigating I found that a christmas box had compressed a box below it, sliding down enough for a box on top of it to fall off. Nothing harmed and I was thankful it wasn’t a raccoon or alien, or alien raccoon.
But while I was up there rearranging it I noticed another box in a funny place so I moved it. I also brought up some empty boxes and made room for them, then I came down into the kitchen and wanted coffee and realized my milk is almost gone which I was going to replace with a new carton yesterday but was distracted on my way home from running by the report on the radio which I switched to during a commercial that I was going to switch back to the other station but forgot and while in the kitchen I noticed the dogs want to go out and while letting them out I realized the wind had blown stuff around so I picked that stuff up and then I realized I needed to get the mail and put the trash out for pick up and then I wanted a snack and then I remembered to get back to my office and start writing this a half an hour later but when I got back I had an image in a directory showing and I remembered I needed to edit it which I did and while I did that I realized I forgot my coffee in the kitchen and then decided to change shoes and then I wrote this.
Luckily the merging of my character and circumstances didn’t lead to a nuclear holocaust or falling down a sewer pipe. But it could in the future so I really need to get a grip on this attention span thing, which I will right after I go get milk…
Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman, who just saw a pretty bird in the back yard.
Quote by Donald Creigh….oh wait, TWO pretty birds!
Is History is a Fluid, a Solid or a Gas? – History Lesson #2
Historically speaking, it’s day #2 of History Lesson Week at the NDD.
Why are histories about the same era written again and again? Gibbon’s wrote a multi-volume history of the Rise and Fall of the Roman Empire. Why isn’t that enough, why more books on the same topic? Why so many books about Lincoln, World War II, the American revolution, China, technology, wars? Why is there such a long history of histories? Because our prejudices are fluid over the generations and our histories will always be updated to fit our prejudices.
What are our historical and present day prejudices? Just ask yourself what you believe in and that will tell you. The belief might blind you to the truth, as is the case in certain branches of Islam or Christianity where they do whatever they can to keep women down. They go so far as to create and then perpetuate gargantuan lies under the guise of history to validate and support their prejudices against women being equal. They are driven by fear and they call it ‘truth’.
I read a synopsis of Hegel’s idea of ‘the Dialectic’ yesterday. No, I don’t really understand it, and no I haven’t ever read his actual work. (Ask my daughter Rebekah if you want to talk to someone who has actually read it and understood it). I read it in a book called ‘Eureka! – What Archimedes Really Meant and 80 Other Key Ideas Explained.’ It essentially is this: Thesis, Antithesis and Synthesis. We start with an idea, the opposite of the idea comes up to challenge it and eventually the two ideas combine to some degree to create a synthesis, a new idea. That idea/thesis in turn is the starting point for a new antithesis to challenge it and on it goes.
That is how we can see our fluid history. A way of looking at a series of events is put forth, let’s say about the American Civil War. Someone writes a book saying it was fought over slavery. Then someone else challenges that it was about slavery and writes that it was instead about state’s rights. A third person writes another book that says it was about both. That leads to yet another book that says it was about neither but instead was about cotton. And on and on it goes. The positive side to the idea of the dialectic is that it should lead to ever increasing knowledge and understanding. In practice, while I do believe we make some progress in society and life, I also believe that fear and vested interests keep society and individuals from moving forward towards a better life for all.
Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman, who would always choose ‘history’ on Jeopardy!
Quote by Mark Twain, who was born 4 years after Hegel died.