by Marty Coleman | Jan 12, 2012 | Optimism/Pessimism - 2012, Oscar Wilde |
I am positive it’s day #5 of Optimism/Pessimism Week at the NDD.
My friend Marcy (who I met via Blog World, read the story below to see the irony), wrote a recent blog post titled, ‘Asking the Universe to Dance’. In it she told the story of a young fellow who introduced himself to her at a conference but never asked her the important question of ‘Are you looking to hire?’ He had the opportunity but he didn’t take it. Her point was that you have to ASK if you want something. The Universe (and the person you are talking to) does not have ESP.
I wrote the following in response to her story and then found the napkin quote a few minutes later. Because this is Optimism/Pessimism week it all seemed to fit together.
Just in case people need more reasons to ‘just ask’…In 2010 I just happen to see a tweet scroll by from someone I followed but didn’t really know from Eve. She simply said something like ‘So, what do you want?’ I was about to respond with something witty and silly but instead I decided to investigate who she was. I went to her twitter page, then to her website and found out she was a life and career coach focusing on helping creative people. So, I responded on twitter with, ‘I want two hours of your time.’
She called me that afternoon and we spent 1/2 an hour talking about how she couldn’t give 2, but would give 1 hour in a phone consultation the next day after she had time to review my work, my blog and my website.
The next day we spent 1 1/2 hours on the phone going over where I was, what steps I could take to move forward. What was essential to be fixed immediately, what could put off. How to focus on what would return good results, how to let go of distracting elements, and more.
Her request when I asked what I could do to return the favor was that I donate time to help the homeless. She didn’t want a follow up, didn’t want me to feel obligated to her. She just wanted me to help the homeless somehow.
As a result of that conversation I submitted a proposal to Social Media Tulsa to be a speaker. At that session I was heard by two women, one hired me to be a speaker at an organization’s state conference and another, Becky McCray, has become my champion and encouraged me to submit a proposal to Blog World.
As a result of my speaking at the state conference I was hired to be the keynote at their regional conference this year. As a result of speaking at Blog World I have been invited to speak at the Blog World New York event which is co-located with BookExpo NY, where you can be sure I will be asking all about getting my book published!
Are you listening for the door or complaining of the noise?
Drawing by Marty Coleman, who took typing in High School
Quote by Oscar Wilde, who did not.
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by Marty Coleman | Jan 11, 2012 | Milton Berle, Optimism/Pessimism - 2012 |
As I mentioned earlier this week my first one-person exhibition of my art work in 20 years is now up. My last one-person show was at Smith Gallery on the UC Santa Cruz campus in 1991. I moved to Oklahoma in 1994 and gave up being an exhibiting artist for a while. My first piece in a show in Oklahoma was at Apertures Gallery in 2005, 11 years after moving here.
What that means is that most of my exhibiting art life I have been a ‘could-be’. Sometimes I have been an ‘are’. For while there I thought I was a ‘has-been’ wondering about my ‘might-have-beens’. What I am glad about though is no matter what happens in the future I will never be a ‘never-was’.
There is one, and only one reason, I won’t be a ‘never-was’. Because I made the effort to make something happen. I made that effort again and again and again. I took advantage, I networked, I got things in on deadline , I paid attention and I woke up each morning willing to do it again. Most of all, more important that any other thing, is I kept doing the work. All the time, any time, I did the work.
It doesn’t matter if I spend most of my time as an ‘are’ – well known with accolades and money, or most of my time as a ‘could-be’, hoping for those things and the opportunities it brings. What matters is that I did the work. The work is what guarantees I won’t be a ‘never-was’.
Are you doing your work?
Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman, an artist with an exhibition up at Living Arts of Tulsa until Jan. 26th. You should go see it.
Quote by Milton Berle, a funny man.
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by Marty Coleman | Jan 10, 2012 | Colleen Wilcox, Optimism/Pessimism - 2012 |
Thank you to all the teachers for being the personification of optimism alive and well in the world.
Drawing and single sentence by Marty Coleman, who had a cowlick as a kid.
Quote by Colleen Wilcox
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by Marty Coleman | Jan 9, 2012 | Optimism/Pessimism - 2012, Thomas Fuller |
I was delayed a week by my exhibition opening, but we shall now continue with Optimism/Pessimism Week at the NDD!
Are you under a pessimism cloud?
You know those beautiful days in late fall and early spring when it feels warm and wonderful when you are in the sun but have a cloud come over and all the wintery chill lays over you like a blanket? That is how I feel when I am with certain people. Pessimists tend to be that cloud. Some are consciously trying to diminish joy or happiness, but most aren’t. Most are doing nothing more than what they would consider to be normal and even prudent things. They might be bringing up possible dangers for a course of action. They might be pointing out the negative characteristics of someone in order to warn you of them. In their mind, it is helpful to be a pessimist because bad things constantly happen and we should be prepared for it.
But the pessimist usually does not accomplish his or her goal of being safer or happier by being negative. Whatever their conscious intent and reasons, the effect is to suppress joy and enthusiasm. That is what they actually accomplish.
If you happen to be with one of those people, you will also suppress your joy and enthusiasm because those are feelings you naturally want to share and you are with someone who can’t or won’t contribute in the sharing. It’s like being a fun and joyous child who is with a stern parent constantly telling them no. It’s depressing and debilitating.
The way out, it seems to me, is easy enough in one situation. You have a somewhat casual friend who is this person and you make a pretty simple and easy decision to no longer be their friend. But most situations are not that easy. It might be a closer friend, one who relies on you and you are committed to over many years. It might be a boss or a co-worker you can’t get out from under without risking too much, or it might be a spouse/partner with whom you are hopelessly entangled financially, emotionally, materially and more.
In those harder cases you will only be able to retain your joy and enthusiasm for life by either getting above the cloud, being the brighter, hotter sun that evaporates it, or by finding ways to get out from under the cloud for moments at a time. Whether it is by delving into your creative spirit, moving out into the world and connecting to others in group activities, or by choosing a non-reactive response to the pessimism.
None of those are easy choices, but staying under the cloud is much harder for your soul and will eventually destroy it.
Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman, who has had 6 dogs in his life (Moses, Robbie, Vodka, Oreo, Gracie and Sadie.)
Quote by Thomas Fuller, 1608-1661, Chaplain Extraordinary to Charles II
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by Marty Coleman | Jan 6, 2012 | Art, Dante Gabriel Rossetti |
In honor of me having my first big art exhibition opening in 20 years tonight I thought I would draw something about ART. See below the drawing for more info about the opening.
If you don’t have an idea, a concept, then not only are you lost, but you give no assurance to those looking at the work that there is anything to look at. Yes, art must stand on it’s own without words, but the idea behind the work, its ‘raison d’être’ must be apparent if one is willing to look into it.
Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman, who learned to fly at age 13.
Quote by Dante Gabriel Rossetti, an artist.
My exhibition, ‘Velveteen Women’ is opening tonight at Living Arts of Tulsa. The opening is from 6-9, is free and open to all. There will be other galleries down the street also having openings so you can make a fun art night out of it! Living Arts is located at the corner of Brady and Detroit in the Brady District of downtown Tulsa.
There was a very cool write up in the Tulsa World Newspaper about the show, and also in Urban Tulsa Weekly.
Here are a few images from the show. If you are in the Tulsa area I hope you can make it to the opening, if not the show will be up for 3 weeks.
I will have all the images up after the show opens and will give the link here in a few days.
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by Marty Coleman | Jan 2, 2012 | Marty Coleman, New Years Resolutions |
Think of all that has happened in the last year. I started speaking at conferences for the first time, three of them to be exact. Over a year ago I submitted a proposal for an exhibition of my photo-collages but hadn’t heard back anything by 1/1/11. Now I am 4 days away from the exhibition’s opening night (Living Arts of Tulsa, Friday, January 6th, 6-9pm). I had one daughter living in Tulsa and one in Seattle. Now I have one in parts unknown and one in Berkeley, CA. Those are just a few things among many. Two of those events I made happen by putting myself out there. My daughter’s life events I had very little control over, watching mainly from the sidelines.
What about you? What happened this year? What happen that you had some control over? What happened you had very little control over?
Stuff is going to happen to you in the next year. Stuff you can’t control and have no say in. But there will be plenty of things that will happen ONLY if you decide to make them happen. Are you going to push to make things happen, believing they can happen if you set your mind to it or are you going to let opportunities pass by, believing you are not able or being fearful of possible bad outcomes?
Will you look back on 1/1/13 and feel you did what you could?
Drawing, commentary and quote by Marty Coleman, a man who likes the funny stuff.
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by Marty Coleman | Dec 29, 2011 | Quote Authors, Travel Napkins |
I am in San Antonio for the Alamo Bowl tonight between the Baylor Bears and University of Washington Huskies. Sic em’ Bears!
San Antonio is an AWESOME city, by the way.
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by Marty Coleman | Dec 28, 2011 | Quote Authors |
I am on the road, in Texas.
We all stay the same. Forever. Unless we don’t. If we do unless we don’t then who makes us change? You know the answer.
Drawing by Marty Coleman, a man in the middle of something.
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by Marty Coleman | Dec 26, 2011 | Christmas, Mark Twain |
We had a different Christmas this year for a few reasons. None of my three biological daughters were here, I have been crazy busy getting pieces finished and ready for my upcoming ‘Velveteen Women’ exhibition (opening January 6th at Living Arts of Tulsa) and just a sort of general fatigue about the ‘work’ of decorating for Christmas. We did decorate, but not as much as usual. We watched a Christmas movie and TV show or two, but not the usual dozen or so. Caitlin, my step-daughter, had mixed feelings about this. She didn’t get into it quite as much, she felt bad, ok, resigned, relieved all at various times. Linda, my wife, felt the same way. But Christmas morning was wonderful, Christmas brunch with the family was especially fun, as was Christmas Eve. In the end it was different, but it was good.
Here is what I felt. Christmas does not occur exactly the same each year even if it seems to. It has mutations to the sameness that sometimes makes it brighter, sometimes a bit more melancholy, sometimes devastatingly different, sometimes virtually the same. But it is never really the same, is it? Christmas rhymes with Christmases past, it doesn’t repeat them.
How do you feel about Christmas (or any holiday) changing in your life from year to year? How do the changes in you make those changes happen?
Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman, owner of a really small car.
Quote by Mark Twain, who is now dead.
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by Marty Coleman | Dec 20, 2011 | Christianity - 2011-2013, Christmas, John Ortberg |
This is my 2011 Christmas card to you, my Napkin Kin.
And the most important thing; he liked them. He didn’t hang out with all those odd people trying to convert them, feeling sorry for them, or feeling an obligation to ‘minister’ to them. If he had, they wouldn’t have trusted him. Even back then a person can tell when someone has an agenda for the relationship. What I believe is that he liked who they were. He didn’t spend his time figuring out how to appear to care for them. He just cared for them.
And guess what? He let them care for him too. I mean, after all, is there a greater outcast in history than Jesus? They liked him even with all his wild ideas and uber-serious talk about God and heaven. They stuck by their friend even when he acted really strange and seemed self-destructive (which he was when you think about it). They forgave what they probably thought of as his arrogance (Really, you’re saying you are the Son of God? Really?).
My Christmas wish is that, if you are an outcast, you will be given the gift of feeling both loved and liked exactly as you are. If you are not, then my Christmas wish is that you will tear down the fearful wall of judgment and bring the outcast in.
Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman, An outcast lover since 1973.
Quote by John Ortberg, American pastor
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