by Marty Coleman | Jan 7, 2017 | Success - 2017, Thomas N. Carruther |
Who do you think you are?
Why do I ask this? Because you won’t ever become someone you don’t think you are. Don’t think you are an artist? You won’t become one. Don’t think you are able to start or run a business? You won’t start or run one.
Transformation
So, how do you become something you are not? To answer that question you have to answer this one first, ‘how do you come to believe you can be that person?’ My first wife, Kathy, was never very confident about herself and her abilities. But by the time we had our three daughters and they were in or reaching school age, Kathy had received her teaching credential and had taught for a few years. She also had been around a number of families at our church who home schooled their kids for a number of years. The combination of the two experiences plus her own comfort with our children led her to believe she could home school our daughters, which we did for 3 years.
In other words, she had faith that she could get it done. She gained that faith by education, observation, and experience. I think those three elements are the keys to achieving your great goal.
- Education – In most, but not all, cases, learning is key to giving yourself the confidence that you can do or be something. It might be formal training or it might be you self-teaching online, but learning more and more about the area you want to explore always helps, if not for you, for those who you must persuade to trust you in a future endeavor.
- Observation – When you look around you, you can see things being achieved. How is that happening? What skills, behaviors, attitudes and connections to these achievers have? Being aware of what others have needed to succeed will help you do the same. While in much of life it is not good to compare yourself to others, it is good in other ways. This is one of them. Now, you may find that the comparison is unflattering to you. BUT then again, you might find it is favorable, or maybe it is irrelevant. The point is, do not be afraid to evaluate how you stack up to others in this endeavor. Self-criticism and self-knowledge of where you stand is essential to moving forward.
- Experience – Sometimes when we look at biographies of achievers it seems this step is skipped. For example, Cheryl Strayed walked the Pacific Coast Trail and wrote about it in her memoir ‘Wild’. She had ZERO experience hiking but she did it, right? Nope. She actually only did one day without experience. The second day she had the experience of the first day under her belt. Yes, to truly do it right she should have had a lot more experience, but to say she had none for the journey is to ignore what you learn along the way. So, yes it is possible to start with no experience. But it is impossible to get half way with none and certainly impossible to finish with none. The key is to be aware of the experience as it happens, to learn from it so you can immediately apply it, sometimes within minutes or hours of starting on a task.
These three things are what you need to become who you want to become and to do what you want to do.
So, start gathering them up and go for it!
Drawing and commentary © 2017 Marty Coleman | napkindad.com
“Faith that the thing can be done is essential to any great achievement.” Quote by Thomas N. Carruther.
This original drawing or a print are available for purchase. Matte and frame are also available.
Like this:
Like Loading...
by Marty Coleman | Dec 24, 2016 | Christmas, Hamilton Wright Mabie |
Buying
I like Commercialism because I like presents. I like buying presents for my family and loved ones. I like sending them, bringing, them, opening them, sharing them. I like thinking about what to get and I like discovering cool things to get while I am going to get what I planned to get.
Making
I like making presents too. But if I don’t make them that is ok. I like buying presents other people made and giving them. I like buying manufactured presents as well, since they are made by people too.
Wrapping
I like wrapping presents so they look nice under the tree and in the lap of the person who is about to open it. I like the look on their face when they see something they weren’t expecting but are happy to get. I think it is funny to look at that same face when they get something they weren’t expecting and aren’t happy to get but are faking it.
Getting
I like getting presents. I like seeing what people thought I would like. I like trying on new clothes and sweaters and stuff to see if they fit and then showing them to the rest of the family. I like when my family does that as well. I like the funny items I get that are completely useless and would never be bought but for Christmas. I like how completely ridiculous they are, and how funny.
Revolving
I think gift giving is love and if we focus most of that in one season, it’s fine by me. If that means much of the economic world revolves around that season, that is fine by me too. It’s going to revolve around something and gift giving is as good a thing as anything else in my book.
Loving
It’s easy to say ‘I hate the commercialism of Christmas’. But do you hate the gift giving of Christmas? If you don’t hate the gift giving than maybe it’s time to see the commercialism in a new light. The light of your love for those you give gifts to. I like to think of it like that.
Drawing and commentary © 2016 Marty Coleman | napkindad.com
Quote by Hamilton Wright Mabie, 1846-1916, American Essayist and Lecturer
Like this:
Like Loading...
by Marty Coleman | Dec 14, 2016 | Marty Coleman, The Universe- 2016/17 |
Purchase the original drawing | purchase a print | available framed!
The Immature Purpose
The immature among us like to divide things into extreme categories.
A simplistic religious person wants to see anyone who doesn’t believe in a personal God as having no purpose. They want to feel sorry for them because it meets their need to feel enlightened and special. They have a purpose from God and these other people don’t.
A simplistic non-religious on the other hand wants to see a religious person as living under an illusion of purpose. They want to feel sorry for them because it meets their need to feel intellectually superior. Their existence and happiness is enough of a purpose and those other people are woefully deluded.
The Mature Purpose
The mature among us are willing to admit that the complexity of life doesn’t lend itself to dividing things up so neatly.
A complex religious person will admit that while they believe they have a purpose directed from God there are many times they don’t know that purpose. They also will admit that that purpose is constantly evolving as they grow. It might be growth in terms of age and experience or perhaps growth in their spiritual relationship with God. They will also admit that not knowing their purpose in life at every single moment is not critical to their success in life. There are great mysteries they admit to and are willing to live with that. They also will learn that to judge others’ journey of finding purpose (or not) is not one of their purposes in life.
A complex non-religious person will admit that while they are often satisfied with their purpose simply being to exist and be happy, there are other times they doubt and wonder about that, and are sometimes drawn to see if their might be more than that. They will also admit that they sometimes admire the surety with which a religious person feels their purpose so strongly. They will realize that just as they are on their journey of finding purpose (or not) so others are as well and it’s not their purpose in life to judge other people’s journeys.
Where are you in your search for purpose (or not)?
Drawing, quote and commentary © 2016 Marty Coleman | napkindad.com
Like this:
Like Loading...
by Marty Coleman | Dec 4, 2016 | Marty Coleman, Sketchbook History Tour |
The Poem About My Senses
I have a poem in my head,
Not fancy or complete.
Actually pretty basic,
mundane but pretty sweet.
Don’t know what it’s all about,
That’s the point of it I think.
But I know It’s sort of funny,
And includes the color pink.
It includes the smell of coffee,
And maybe the passage of time.
I don’t really remember,
But it’s simple in it’s rhyme.
It has an image of windows,
With sun filtering the air.
That flows all around me,
And lands on my hair.
There is a taste of a croissant,
Somewhere in the verse.
And the texture of an almond,
as it falls into my purse.
That’s all I remember,
Of the poem within my head.
It makes me glad to to be alive,
Instead of being dead.
Drawing and poem © 2016 Marty Coleman | napkindad.com
This drawing was done at the Glenpool, Oklahoma Starbucks.
It is available for purchase, either the original for $100.00, or a print for $25.00
Like this:
Like Loading...
by Marty Coleman | Dec 2, 2016 | Friendship - 2015, Marty Coleman |
Purchase the original drawing | purchase a print | matte and frame available.
The Other Thing I Did
While I was drawing on napkins for my daughters back in the 90s I also was doing something else. I was saying goodbye to them at the door. Each day I would say pretty much the same thing. I would say I love you then I would say “Don’t forget, Make good friends and keep good friends.” Why I came up with that particular phrase, I don’t know. But I would say it every day. And I meant it.
Community
What I wanted for them was a growing, vibrant community. A community doesn’t happen without friendships, a growing community doesn’t happen without new friendships and a vibrant community doesn’t happen without diverse friends. That is why I said that to them.
The Purpose of Diversity
When I say diverse, I don’t mean you have to have a rainbow of skin colors to prove it. I think that would help but only insofar as it’s an outward visual of what is an internal diversity. In other words, the important thing isn’t that your friend has dark brown, red, orange, alabaster or freckled skin. What is important is that you are experiencing, at least some of the time, a person with a life experience different than yours. A life experience you can learn and grow from knowing AND that your friend can benefit from by knowing you.
Courage Over Fear
How do you gather such friends? Yes, by going out into the world. But that isn’t enough. You have to go out into the world with courage and an open heart or else you will simply be carrying your fear around with you and will miss meeting those new friends.
Drawing and commentary © 2016 Marty Coleman | napkindad.com
Quote by Yours Truly
Like this:
Like Loading...
by Marty Coleman | Nov 30, 2016 | Friendship - 2015, Jacque Dellile |
Purchase the original | purchase a print | matte and frame available
Xenophobia
One of the reasons people are xenophobic (fear of foreigners, people of other cultures) is because they only have friends who are exactly like them. Maybe they are the same color, maybe the same economic status, maybe from the same town or city, maybe the same religion, maybe the same age or the same gender. They may look a little different on the outside, one is bald, one like bright clothes, etc. But in truth, their friends are actually just themselves in other bodies. People who are outside this homogenous group are the ‘other’ and since you don’t know them and they seem so different, they are feared. This can easily be the case with the refugee or immigrant, the person from the north side of the city, the person who speaks another language, the retiree, the person from another religion.
Periscope
The question is, how do you get to be friends with those people? Astonishingly, one of the best ways is online. You can find everyone online, and if you join groups, chances are the group will have all sorts of people. Get to know them.
One of my favorite things about doing live streaming on Periscope app is I never know who is going to come into my broadcast. Sometimes it’s a dreadlocked African-American from Chicago, next moment it’s a Putin-loving person from Russia. Then in comes an Australian housewife living in Germany, a Latina actress from LA, a stay at home dad from St. Louis, a single mom from Paris with a bi-racial son, a teenager from Spain, a hardworking artist from Philadelphia, a famous blogger from the UK, an intellectual from Hawaii, a Native American from Oklahoma. They may be online, but they are all my friends and I get to know them and do my best to understand them.
Of course that is not the only way to know people different than you are. Joining an interest group in your town might be a way to do that. Volunteering for a cause could work as well. There are many ways, but it takes a decided effort in many cases to make it happen.
Knowing
The point is, we live in a diverse world. It’s more interesting and fun to embrace it. It is healthier to embrace it as well. Because when you have friends who really ARE different than you, then you will come to see them as multi-faceted people, just like you are. And that in turn will allow you to think about all other religions, races, ages, genders, orientations, etc. with the sensitivity that comes from seeing them as real people, just like your friends.
Drawing and commentary © 2016 Marty Coleman | napkindad.com
Quote by Jacque Delille, 1738-1813, French writer and poet
Like this:
Like Loading...
by Marty Coleman | Nov 26, 2016 | Friendship - 2015, Illustrated Short Stories, Marty Coleman |
The Blue Woman and the Red Bird
One day the blue woman was walking to the edge of the volcano so she could jump in and kill herself. On the way she came across a red bird standing on a dead branch near the trail she was on. The red bird started talking to the blue woman and what she said made her cry. They weren’t tears of sadness but tears of joy because what the red bird said was that she was lonely being the only red bird in the area and wanted someone to talk to who would understand her. She saw the blue woman walking by and since she had never seen a blue woman before she figured she had to feel pretty lonely as well. She was right. The blue woman felt very lonely. But thanks to the red bird noticing her and saying something she didn’t feel that way anymore. The red bird and the blue woman became great friends and accompanied each other everywhere together until the end of their days. And they were never lonely again.
The End
Drawing and story © 2016 Marty Coleman | napkindad.com
Like this:
Like Loading...
by Marty Coleman | Nov 24, 2016 | Thanksgiving, W. T. Purkiser |
Sharing Your Blessings
I hear ‘I am so blessed’ often here in the bible belt. I say it myself sometimes. I say it to others when I hear them talk of something good happening. But until I read this quote I had never put blessing and thanksgiving together like this.
Of course at Thanksgiving you bless the meal. But do we think about how each person’s individual blessing has contributed to the meal? Did we consider Uncle Bob’s amazing ability to impart joy to the kids by playing with them is his blessing he is sharing? What about sister Eleanor who has spent a lifetime cooking the best damn pecan pie in the world? She didn’t hide her abilities, she shared them. And what about that young precocious son of your brother, who is funny and sharp as a knife with his wit? He probably doesn’t know it yet but he is sharing that which has been given to him.
Even more importantly, once we step away from the Thanksgiving meal, do we share our blessings with the wider world? I hope we do. Because the truth is if you really want to show your thankfulness for the blessings you have been given, whether by God, the universe, genetics, the capitalist system, wherever you believe they came from, then there is only one way to show it and that is to share it, right?
Lets share our blessings in love. Happy Thanksgiving!
Drawing and commentary © 2016 Marty Coleman | napkindad.com
Quote by W. T. Purkiser, 1910-1992, American Preacher
Purchase the original | purchase a print | matte and frame available
Like this:
Like Loading...
by Marty Coleman | Nov 23, 2016 | Friendship - 2015, Mme de Staël, Talleyrand |
Purchase the original | purchase a print | matte and frame available
Being God
You know what is great? To have a friend who will fish you out of the water when you fall in. That is great. But what is not great is if they threw you in the water in the first place.
Have you ever had a friend like that? I call this the God Complex. They thrive when they are helping someone but to do so they need to get that person in danger first. So they set up a scenario where they nurture drama in a person’s life, maybe by encouraging them to date someone they know is not right for them, or maybe to take a job they are not suited for. It could be anything. All that matters is that they work it so they are able to come to the rescue and seem to be the hero or shero.
My Hero Fantasy
I have known one or two in my time. And even though the quote refers to a woman (Mme De Stael), I have noticed it just as much, if not more, in men. I think this might be because men grow up told it’s the highest accomplishment to be a hero. I remember in Jr. High I had my first and only hero fantasy. I imagined the bus I took to school getting in a crash and me coming to the rescue of Julie, the most beautiful girl in school (in my opinion). I helped her out of the bus and took care of her as she lay on the ground. As an adult I respond as best I can to circumstances where my help is needed. But I don’t ever want to desire or cause something bad to happen just so I can do good.
Here’s the point. It’s not wrong to be a hero or shero. It’s a good thing. But it’s not if you are manipulating people and situations so that you can be one. That’s a bad thing.
Drawing and commentary © 2016 Marty Coleman | napkindad.com
Quote by Charles Maurice de Talleyrand, 1754-1838 French diplomat and politician
The quote refers to Mme. De Staël (Anne-Louise-Germaine Necker, Baronne (baroness) de Staël-Holstein), 1766-1817, French-Swiss author and politician. She is definitely worth reading about!
Like this:
Like Loading...
