by Marty Coleman | Nov 18, 2016 | Friendship - 2015, Samuel Johnson |
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The New Friend
Last year there was a woman who came into our running group. She was enthusiastic, positive, friendly and caring. I thought from the first that she must have already known a number of the other runners. But no, she told me she had just moved here by herself only recently. She told me she had done it many times before and had learned that if she was to enjoy her life as a single woman in new locations she would have to make a deliberate effort to go out and meet people. She did this by joining groups, in this case our running group. And sure enough she gathered a group of good friends in short order.
The Gone Friend
Then she moved. Just like that she was gone. Now, in the social media world people aren’t really ever gone, right? So, neither is she. I read her Facebook posts from her new location and guess what she is now enjoying? She is now a hiker and a climber in the Rocky Mountains outside of Denver. And there is photo after photo of her with new friends she met in a hiking group she joined.
The True Friend
One other aspect of her appearance on the scene that I noted. She did not join our running group just to make friends, she also joined so she could be a friend. It wasn’t just her getting her friendship needs met, it was also about what she could offer others. In other words she gave as much as she got.
The Courageous Friend
Now, she is an extrovert and makes friends easy. I know not everyone is like that. But everyone still has a need for friendship and everyone still has to take responsibility for finding those friends, now matter what your personality type. If you move to a new place, get a new job, or enter a new phase of life, chances are people are not going to come out of the woodwork to befriend you. Even if they do, you have to decide to accept and contribute to that friendship.
It takes some courage to go out and make friends, but the results are worth the challenge.
Drawing and commentary © 2016 Marty Coleman | napkindad.com
Quote by me, adapted from one by Samuel Johnson
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by Marty Coleman | Nov 15, 2016 | Marty Coleman, Sketchbook History Tour |
I’ve been drawing in sketchbooks for many decades now. I sometimes go back and revisit older books just to see what I did or to show others. Recently I did this with a series of sketchbooks from 2000 on. I discovered a number of drawings I wanted to work on more, mostly in coloring and shading. Here are 4 drawings from this endeavor.
If you know my recent work you know I often write short stories to accompany my drawings. In these drawings though the stories or observations were written directly on the page. I specifically went for stream of consciousness oriented narratives with long run-on sentences that imitated the way I actually experienced and thought about the moment.
HOOPS
‘Hoops’ 2003-2016
The classy student studying with the grey eyeshadow and glimmery lips while her boyfriend who looks young and too young for her reads a magazine with three bug bits on his ankle in a row looking like a constellation and she uses a blue and red pen & huge hoop earrings, the biggest i’ve ever seen with her left hand and very small delicate fingers with no polish in Norman, Oklahoma on a summer’s night that threatens to rain while the two girls behind her wear red Sooner shirts and read & talk about the young star who is too thin and I draw instead of read the manual on the class I am here for while I catch a bright pink purse pass by a tall guy sitting with yellow.
VEINS
‘Veins’ 2003-2016
The tall thin woman at Panera with great veins reading her bible and taking notes and eating a bagel and ignoring that I am drawing her while she drinks coffee and contemplates divorce on a hot summer morning in Tulsa.
SPLOTCHY
‘Splotchy’ 2003-2016
The woman looked like she had been crying; splotchy skin, red eyes & nose but she had not.
RUBY LIPGLOSS
‘Ruby Lipgloss’ 2004-2016
The woman with the ruby lip gloss and zig zag parted hair looking at the person in the door and wondering if he noticed her perfume when he passed as she made a call to her boyfriend to ask if he picked up mascara for her.
Drawings and stories © 2016 Marty Coleman | napkindad.com
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by Marty Coleman | Nov 9, 2016 | Democracy, Marty Coleman |
My father and my mother taught me a very important thing about electing our President.
That is always, no matter if your side wins or loses, hope the best. Hope that the new President is better than what you think he is. Hope that the actions aren’t as severe as his rhetoric has been. Hope that the gravity of the office will infuse this person with a conscience you don’t believe he possesses. Hope that our system of government, with its checks and balances, will wear down the rough edges so people aren’t hurt by his actions and words.
I hope these things, not because I am naive, but because I believe it’s the best way for me personally to move forward as a citizen of the United States.
What do you think?
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by Marty Coleman | Nov 2, 2016 | George Santayana, Promises Promises - 2014-16 |
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The Orange Promise
The Orange Man promises. The Orange Man knows promising things is easy. He promises to pay people and they believe him. He promises to build things like walls and people believe him. He promises he can fix things for people and they believe him. He promises to make things great and people believe him.
The Orange Promise
The Orange Man doesn’t care about what happens after the promise is made. He doesn’t care because he knows how to blame other people for him breaking promises. He is very good at both breaking promises and blaming others for the breaking. He is good at it because he believes it. He believes nothing is his fault. He believes he has never done anything wrong. He believes he always knows what is right to do, even when he doesn’t know anything about the topic he is dealing with.
The Orange Brain
The Orange Man knows this because he has a good brain. He knows this because he thinks smart things. He knows he doesn’t need to study anything because he is so smart. He knows he doesn’t have to listen to others’ ideas about things because he is smarter than they are. He knows this because he has good DNA. He knows he was born smart, as well as good looking.
The Orange Attraction
The Orange Man knows women find him attractive. He knows they can’t keep their hands off of him because he is the most famous orange man in the world. He knows it is his right to do whatever he wants to whatever woman he wants because he is so smart and so good looking and so rich and so famous. He knows this because he does it and he doesn’t get in trouble.
The Orange Matters
The Orange Man knows he is the only person who matters in the world. He knows this because the only person who matters in the world told him so.
The End
Drawing and commentary © 2016 Marty Coleman | napkindad.com
Quote by George Santayana, 1863-1952, Spanish born Philosopher, Essayist and Poet
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by Marty Coleman | Oct 19, 2016 | Ludwig Borne, Power - 2016 |
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Creating a Coward
This quote starts with an assumption. It assumes we are all cowards. It’s just that some are more cowardly than others. Now, I don’t think in most cases that means intrinsically some are more cowardly. I think it means circumstances, both internal and external, have made some turn and run. And it some cases it’s made people stay and fight but use really stupid and ineffective strategies in that fight.
So, if you want power in these situations one way to do it is to not just imagine someone is a greater coward than you are, but actually create the conditions where the other person has reached the point where they must turn and run. Or, if they do stay and fight, they are so overwhelmed that they fight ineffectively.
In either case, one of the best ways to do it is to have overwhelming force. In other words, 3 pussy cats are better than one when fighting the orange man with the yellow cotton candy on his head. 30 is better than 3 and 300 million are better than 30.
Drawing and commentary © 2016 Marty Coleman | napkindad.com
Quote by Ludwig Börne, 1786-1837, German journalist
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by Marty Coleman | Oct 16, 2016 | Malcolm X, Power - 2016 |
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How Power Works
Here is an example of how power works. Let’s say an orange man with yellow cotton candy on his head attacks you. Since this is how he feels powerful (instead of actually BEING powerful) you should assume he will continue to attack you until you either can get out of the situation or you attack back. You can also assume he will attack others since this need for the feeling of power is not going to go away.
How to Respond
If you are a pussy cat, you should have your claws sharpened in advance and not be afraid to use them. If you are a human you should also have your claws (verbal and physical) ready. Having your phone recording the interaction might be a good idea as well. If you can, you should tell someone immediately about the attack so that you have a record of it. You should also write it down and record the date so the information is fresh. Tell a reporter friend of yours about the attack. If you don’t have a reporter friend, get one.
Oh, and if he has his orange snake with him and uses it in the attack, you should be sure to claw it as well and call the police.
Power vs Power
In other words, power responds to greater power. This is especially true in the example of the orange man since his bullying and assaulting power is a facade hiding deep insecurities and hurts. Gather all the resources you can to fight, especially if the man is orange.
Drawing and commentary © 2016 Marty Coleman | napkindad.com
Quote by Malcolm X, 1925-1965, American Muslim leader and activist
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by Marty Coleman | Oct 12, 2016 | Elizabeth Janeway, Power - 2016 |
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Cat Life
We have a new cat named Ninja. He is a great cat and we love him, so much fun and so silly. But he is feral in nature. Often when I put my hands out towards him to play he responds with teeth out, ready to defend.
We had another cat, Mayru, who was not like that at all. She barely ever fought or bit. She was fun, and loved to play, but just wasn’t that type of cat.
Ultimate Power
But what type of cat we have doesn’t really matter. What matters is my response to the cat. I am the one with the ultimate power (even though a cat can bite and scratch pretty well). I might play a little harder with Ninja than I did with Mayru but in both cases I am not going to force them to play when they aren’t interested, I am not going to attack them and I am not going to hurt them.
If I did that I would be guilty of animal cruelty. My morals and ethics tell me that is not right and I wouldn’t do it.
Satisfaction and Conscience
If I came across someone who did abuse a cat (or any other animal or human) I would do my best to stop it. I also have to admit I would get some satisfaction seeing the cat attack back and get in a few bites and scratches.
One thing I know for certain, My conscience would not allow me to reward that abuser with my affection or support.
Drawing and commentary © Marty Coleman | napkindad.com
Quote by Elizabeth Janeway, 1913-2005, American novelist
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by Marty Coleman | Oct 11, 2016 | Education - 2016, Will Durant |
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Knowing Everything
Ever notice how a person who has just learned something new about a topic is often very adamant that they have learned everything about that topic? I see it happen often in young people BUT it really has no age. I see it in myself and I am not a spring chicken. I am less like this now than when I was young, but there are so many topics and so much to learn that it never completely goes away.
Knowing a New Everything
For example, I became a Christian at age 21 and I will have you know I knew everything about it in short order. Fast forward 30+ years and after a long intellectual and spiritual journey I decided I was still a Christian, but was now a Christian Atheist. What does that mean? It means I no longer believed in the existence of spirit beings but I believed in the teachings of Jesus on how to live in this world. I will have you know I knew everything about it.
Unknowing Everything
Fast forward another 10 years and now I am a Christian Agnostic. What does that mean? It means I still believe in the teaching of Jesus on how to live in this world but I have studied enough about science to realize that the discoveries science has made in almost every field would have been so unbelievable just 20-100 years ago as to be claimed as preposterously absurd. That tells me the mysteries still out there are also preposterously absurd according to our present understanding of things and might change our understanding all over again.
Peaceful Unknowing
What that means for me is that while I don’t see direct evidence of spirit beings and I don’t see direct evidence of of a God, especially a traditional God that has his/her fingers in the human pie on a minute by minute basis, I just know there is too much we don’t know for me to say it definitely. And that put me in the most peaceful place I can be in, a place where I am open to learn and not threatened by new ideas in any area.
Coda: Dark Matter
If you are wondering what exactly it is in scientific ideas of recent years that makes me say all this, simply look up ‘Dark Matter’ and try to wrap your head around what it is. That should convince you. The book ‘Dark Matter and the Dinosaurs’ is a good book to read if you are willing to dive deep into it.
Drawing and commentary © 2016 Marty Coleman | napkindad.com
Quote by Will Durant, 1885-1981, American Author. His most famous contribution was the 11 volume ‘Story of Civilization’ written with his wife, Ariel Durant.
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by Marty Coleman | Sep 29, 2016 | Education - 2016, Mark Twain |
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Purpose of School
School, as wonderful as it can be, has a purpose. And it isn’t to make you educated. It’s to make you educated so you will be a contributing member of our society. That means so you can hold a job that contributes, or start a company that contributes. Some schools also want you educated in such a way that you are a positive influence in society. At least according to that society. That might mean you are a good consumer, or give to charity, or compete well on the athletic field.
In other words, the education want to educate you to fit in. And I don’t think that is that bad a thing. I don’t mind fitting in somewhat.
Purpose of Education
But fitting in has it’s limits. If your goal is to only fit in then a good schooling works well for you and for your society. BUT if you want to expand beyond that fit, then you need to be educated beyond school. You need to keep learning on your own. Because learning on your own is how you will reshape your society for the better. It’s how you will challenge and change worn out traditions and prejudices. It’s how you will illuminate and bring to fruition new visions of art, science, nature, ideas, morality, spirit, and more.
Purpose of You
Your purpose is not just to fit in. Your purpose is to become you. Part of you will fit in, and that is good. But another part, no matter how small or large, should aspire to break those bonds. That part of you should work to learn as much as you can in whatever area you want, apart from society’s purpose for you.
Because if you do that, you will not just fit in to society, you will at the same time shape it into something better, something that says you have been here. That is a good thing.
Drawing and commentary © 2016 Marty Coleman | napkindad.com
Quote by Mark Twain, 1835 – 1910, American Humorist
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by Marty Coleman | Sep 27, 2016 | Education - 2016, Will Rogers |
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Educated vs Educated
I get annoyed when ‘college educated’ becomes confused with ‘educated’. There are many people who have gone to college and graduated, and they are rightly classified as ‘college educated’. But does that mean they are actually educated in the broader sense? I think there is a strong case to be made that that might not be the case for a good portion of those graduates.
I know this makes me sound like some sort of elite education snob. Guess what? I am an elite education snob. I believe in a full and complete, well-rounded, broadly general and inclusive education. I don’t believe college should just be a ‘major factory’ for business or jobs. For us to have a great civilization it also should be, it needs to be, a incubator for intellectual development and critical thinking in the classic disciplines of a liberal education.
Don’t be fooled though, when I say ‘liberal’ I am not talking about it in the political or social sense. It has nothing to do with liberal vs conservative. I am talking about it’s meaning in education, which is specific. It means a broad based, well-rounded education in multiple disciplines.
Ongoing
But, the argument may be given, you can only learn so much in 4-5 years of college. And you do need to think about it having some practical reasons behind all that money and time being put into it. I agree with that. That is one reason why, even if you have the best liberal education possible, it isn’t enough. It isn’t enough for one very important reason. Proper learning in college should always have as one of its main outcomes the realization that what you know now is not complete. There will be new discoveries in science, art, math, politics, environment, religion, philosophy and more. The education of the world does not stop when you get your diploma and neither should yours.
A Proposal
I have had this idea for a while. I propose there be college after college. I don’t mean ongoing education to get mastery in a specific skill or area. I mean tune ups of ideas and information. I mean going back to relearn and expand what you learned way back when. And to add in new areas where you never learned anything in the first place.
And not only that, but I propose we have another graduation later in life. Perhaps every 10-12 years or so. 32, 42, 52? Or maybe 28, 38, 48, etc.? I like the idea of continuing those traditional transitions of our youth into rituals in adulthood as well. I am not sure of the details, but I like the idea.
Drawing and commentary © 2016 Marty Coleman | napkindad.com
Quote by Will Rogers, 1879 – 1935, American Humorist
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