The Hard Part -Are You Drunk #1 – updated 2017
I stopped drinking in 1993, 17 years ago. I went to a bar last night, not something I do very often, as in virtually never. It’s not that I mind bars, or am tempted to drink. I just have very little reason to go to one.
Last night I had a good reason. My daughter invited me to be on her ‘Trivia Night’ team that this bar, the Sound Pony in Tulsa, hosts every week. It started at 10pm. That’s about the time we are watching the news and getting ready for bed. But I love trivia and she really wanted me to play because she thought we would win for sure if I was on the team. Ego stroking will make me do many things.
So, we got our team name ‘My Grandfather Was President of Encyclopedia Brittanica’ and set off to destroy the competition. I didn’t think much of the really loud, really drunk team next to us, led by 2 sisters who were feeling no pain. We had to switch answers to grade them, just like in elementary school and after 4 out of 5 rounds, we were tied with our boisterous new BFFs to our right. My reputation was at stake!
There is a physical challenge part each week, and last night it was, surprise, surprise…an easter egg hunt out back. My daughter and her friend did the hunt and came back with 8 eggs. Our sisterly competition came back with 7. After the music segment, which we tied again, the totals were counted and….VOILA, we won! By how much? By 1/2 a point…the value of one egg.
So, the moral of this story is that it’s harder to find eggs when you are really drunk so you shouldn’t drink. Well ok, that’s not the moral. But it’s probably true.
The real moral of the story is I am very glad I quit drinking 17 years ago and going to a bar makes me feel like I haven’t missed a thing. This blog was going to be about why I stopped drinking, but that is now for another day, maybe tomorrow.
Drawing and commentary © Marty Coleman
“The hard part about being a bartender is figuring out who is drunk and who is just stupid.” – Richard Braunstein