Just thinking of the Fort Hood shooting yesterday and how horrendous the shock and emotion is for those connected to it, whether right in the middle of the shooting or family and friends.
No matter what the grief, don’t try to push people to ignore it, and don’t ignore it yourself. You don’t have to get rid of it, or hide it. Let it exist. Just sit with them, hold their hand. Grieve with them.
“The chains of habit are too weak to be felt until they are too strong to be broken.” – Samuel Johnson
Ain’t this the truth. Think of all the people who have said ‘I didn’t know I would get addicted’ or ‘I always thought I would stop when it got to be a problem’ or any number of other things we can say to explain how we got trapped.
With me it was alcohol. I quit drinking in 1993, long ago. In some ways I was lucky, in that my mother was an alcoholic and my father probably was as well and we lived through hell because of it. As a result I didn’t have the luxury of ignorance when I was older. I knew what I was doing and where it would lead. So, I quit and didn’t look back. I haven’t missed it and don’t regret the decision in any way. Life after that habit wasn’t as scary as I had imagined, and indeed was much better and fulfilling, not to mention safer and healthier.
So, if you struggle with a habit that you want to rid yourself of, take a chance, call a moratorium on it for a day, or a week. See what happens. Try it again the next week. Add something new to your life, join a club, eat a peach, whatever.
Reading over that quote again I think about how we have institutionalized this idea in Halloween and costume parties. and that is ok, like how an amusement park institutionalizes thrills and fear, don’t you think?
What is sad is when someone creates a daily illusion of being just like someone else (think girls trying to emulate Ms. Hilton, or boys trying to emulate 50 cent, for example) and the result is that everyone else can see the absurdity but they cannot. It can be more subtle of course, even into adulthood.
Just thinking of the Fort Hood shooting yesterday and how horrendous the shock and emotion is for those connected to it, whether right in the middle of the shooting or family and friends. 
