Was it traffic that made you late? Did your friend make you eat that piece of cake? Was the boss to blame for you not completing your task because she talked your ear off? The answers always lead in one direction or another. They point somewhere. Will they always point to you? Of course not. But check how often they point to you. If never? You are living a delusional lie about your part. If always? You are living a delusional lie about your part.
Reality
The truth is, we will always have someone else to blame if we want to. And sometimes that will be right. But often what seems right at the surface, isn’t. For example. Your boss talks your ear off and so you missed getting a report in on time. Her fault, right? No, not her fault. Your fault. Why your fault? Because you didn’t find a way out of the conversation (or monologue) and get back to work.
BUT BUT BUT
“BUT, she’s my boss. I can’t just tell her to shut up.” No, you can’t. But you can ask her if you can talk to her later about this because you are on a deadline, right? You can take into account she comes by your desk every work day at 4pm and talks so you had better make sure you have the report done, or close to done, by that time, right? You can do preliminary work on the report knowing there will likely be delays later in the day, right? You can do something in most cases. It’s just a matter of whether you have thought of it and if so, are willing to do it.
Other’s Fault, Your Responsibility
You see my point? Even if it is her fault for being such a talker, it’s still your responsibility to get that report done. It’s up to you to figure out how to do it and make that happen. It’s not up to her to not talk so much, it’s up to you to figure out how to deal with it and still be successful in your job.
Long ago I had a job where I used certain development software very intensely. My boss came to me and someone senior to me and asked if either of us wanted to work with a new software program neither of us were familiar with. The person senior to me had first pick. He said no. I jumped at the chance and said yes. But my boss wasn’t sure. She asked ‘Can you do the job?’ I said yes and immediately started staying late after work to learn the program. I succeeded in mastering it, the other guy soon quit under pressure because his work was suffering and his skills were laking. I became the boss a year later. He went back to Texas and worked in construction.
If each challenge you face in work (and in life) is met first with a ‘I don’t know how to do that’ response, then guess what? You won’t be given the chance to learn how to do it. Whether it’s taking a class for your own enjoyment or something at your place of work, make your first response be ‘Yes, I can’ then work like hell learning how.
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Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman of The Napkin Dad Daily
Quote by Theodore Roosevelt, 1858-1919, 26th President of the United States
A vintage napkin from 2004. I put this in the lunch of my daughter in her last year of High School.
Of course, what morals is the question. Morality to me is about doing those things that help you and/or others to remove unnecessary pain and suffering on one hand, and to build up love, sustenance and care on the other. If you teach how to do those two things to people, you will have taught the basics of morality, no matter what your religion or creed is.
Drawing by Marty Coleman of The Napkin Dad Daily
Quote by Theodore Roosevelt, 1858-1919, 26th President of the United States
