by Marty Coleman | Nov 22, 2013 | All is Vanity - 2013, George Sand |
It’s reasonable to assume today is day #3 of the Napkin’s ‘All is Vanity’ series.
Quicksand of Living
Here’s the thing about vanity; It’s distracted living. It’s can be while driving, or working, or talking, or texting, or studying, or dating, or exercising or having sex or….the list goes on. Vanity means you are consumed with self and how you are seen by others. This is usually accompanied by disregard for reason and logic. You do things that are dangerous, things that are counterproductive, things that are restrictive. You aren’t able to see and take part in the life you might want to take part in because your vanity won’t let you.
Quicksand of Activity
You won’t go swimming in a pool because your makeup might get messed up. You won’t stop putting on your makeup as you drive because you might be seen without it, and that just won’t do. You won’t go hiking because you might get sweaty or, sin of all sins, smelly. You won’t put on a coat when it’s freezing out because it might cover up your cute outfit.
Quicksand of Love
And in the end your consuming preoccupation with self will keep you from caring about others. You won’t be able to give love and even if you are given love, you very likely won’t be able to see it clearly over the full-length mirror you are staring into.
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Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman
Quote by George Sand (aka Amantine Lucile Aurore Dupin) 1804-1876, French novelist and memoirist
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Vanity is the quicksand of reason.
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by Marty Coleman | Nov 21, 2013 | All is Vanity - 2013, Nathaniel Hawthorne |
I am not deficient when I say today is ‘All is Vanity’ day #2
Pet Peeve
I think I have mentioned before that I have a pet peeve, a big one. I really do not like when people brag about their shortcomings. I especially don’t like it when I do it. When I found this quote and it added a new layer to my understanding why this happens.
Bad at Math
Let me give you an example. I did not excel at math in school. I didn’t flunk it, but I didn’t excel at it either. So, if a conversation comes up about math, and I am asked directly if I am any good at it, it’s a simple declarative statement to say, “No, not very.” If I am feeling hopeful and positive I might say, “No, not very…YET.” meaning I might become better at it in the future. That is how I like to think about things I am not very good at at the present moment.
Bad at Math Vanity
But what if instead, when I was asked, or even if I was not asked and I was just a general part of the conversation, I said, “I am REALLY BAD AT MATH! I can’t balance my checkbook, I can’t pay bills very well, I HATE math! I don’t understand my IRA or my 401k and I am terrible at keeping a budget!”
If I said that, would I be stating a simple declarative statement? No, I would be saying to the world, ‘I am proud to be bad at math. I think it makes me pretty cool. It shows me to be a hip artist, or maybe a cool musician. It puts me in the ‘above all that mundane crap’ world of bean counters and bureaucrats and pencil pushers.
Wrong Vanity
And I would be wrong. It doesn’t do that. It just shows me to be vain about a deficiency. I am seeing a shiny gold tooth in the mirror worth bragging about when actually I just have an ugly black tooth that really isn’t worthy of attention. It’s nothing to be proud of, nothing to brag about and certainly nothing to be vain about. What it really is, is something to be better at if you can, just like any other optional deficiency in your life.
Right Vanity
You suck at your marriage? Don’t boast of it, become less sucky at it. You don’t know how to write? Don’t brag about, learn how to write. You are a lazy bum? don’t be vain about it, get the hell off the couch and start contributing somewhere. Turn that deficiency into an available gift. Then if you want to be vain about it, go ahead.
Have you ever been vain about a deficiency? Let’s hear your insight about it.
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Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman
Quote by Nathaniel Hawthorne, from his book – The House of the Seven Gables
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“It is very queer, but no less true, that people are quite as vain, or more so, of their deficiencies than of their available gifts”
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by Marty Coleman | Nov 20, 2013 | All is Vanity - 2013 |
I hope I don’t sound vain, but this is going to be the best series on Vanity I have ever done! Here’s day #1.
Plastic Stupidity
No, I am not against plastic surgery. I know many people who have had very successful changes made to their bodies and faces this way. They are very happy with the changes and I am happy for them. I think they look great and that it was more than likely a great choice.
What I am against is someone being coerced or bullied or otherwise manipulated into getting plastic surgery so someone ELSE can feel good about themselves, make more money, have more status, get more pleasure, etc. That is stupidity talking.
What might that manipulative stupidity look like?
- Maybe it takes the form of money making, like the strip club owner who might ‘persuade’ a dancer to get a boob job she really doesn’t want and can’t afford so the club owner will make more money.
- Maybe it’s a husband who bullies his wife into an eye lift so she will look more ‘western’ and he in turn feels more successful having a more ‘western’ looking wife.
- Maybe it’s a mother who pushes her daughter to have a nose job so she is more likely to get a husband which the mother wants so she can have grandkids.
- Maybe it’s a girlfriend who convinces her boyfriend he can have the chest he’s supposedly always wanted by getting pec implants so she can feel superior to her tribe of girls by virtue of having the BF with the hottest bod.
Plastic Vanity
But a person talking stupid or coercive or bullying doesn’t turn a bad idea into reality, vanity does that. Why does that happen? Somehow their vanity has convinced themselves that;
“if I get my ________ done, then…
…I will be more _________.”
…It will make me _____________.”
…My spouse will then ______________.”
…I will make more ________________.”
…I will feel _____________.”
How would you fill in the blanks for someone acting out of plastic vanity?
Positive Blank
Sounds negative, right? But here’s the rub. Can’t someone fill in those same blanks so they are positives? I mean, men and women have plastic surgery every day and they fill in those blanks with positive words all the time. What words would be positive? Any? Many?
What are your thoughts on this?
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Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman
Quote by Victor Hugo, 1802-1885, French writer
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