by Marty Coleman | Dec 3, 2015 | Anonymous, Bad Habits - 2011 |
Near is Easy
Have you ever started something and not finished it? Of course you have. We all have. Granted, some more than others. I am probably in the middle of the pack. I finish a lot but then again there is plenty I don’t finish. Most of what I don’t finish doesn’t ever get beyond the idea stage. If you are like me, even a little bit, the enthusiasm hits hard but implementation fails as the enthusiasm wanes.
Far is Easy
The goal is always so glorious, isn’t it? We all imagine the feeling of winning, or publishing, or fame, or wealth, or a secure relationship. It’s easy to imagine that joy. It’s easy to say you want that happiness. It’s easy to say you are going to do the work to get that wealth. But imagination and saying something aren’t what makes it happen.
In Between is Hard
So how do you keep going during those long stretches where the enthusiasm has waned, the money has drained and the relationship has pained? Of course you need to have that goal in mind. You have to have hope that you can reach it. But it is more than that. The truth is you aren’t always doing something for the feeling it gives you at the moment. You are living through that feeling so that you will reach a finish line where great feelings and great achievements will come to fruition. It might be a book you write, it might be a painting you paint, it might be a relationship you develop.
Making Hard Easy
You can’t make hard easy. But you can make it easier. You make it easier by practicing habits. The habit of getting up every morning and doing 10 push ups will make getting in shape easier, no matter how hard it is. The practice of writing that email to a business connection each morning will make the hard work of networking easier, no matter how hard it is. The practice of saying (and meaning) something loving and kind to your relationship partner each morning will make it easier to build the relationship, no matter how hard it is.
In other words, you aren’t trying to make something hard into something easy. You are trying to make it easier to do something hard. Making a habit of the things that help you along that path is one way to do that.
Drawing and commentary © 2015 Marty Coleman | napkindad.com
Quote by Anonymous
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by Marty Coleman | Jul 28, 2011 | Bad Habits - 2011 |
This is getting to be a habit seeing as it’s Day #4 of Bad Habit Week at the NDD.
My first wife was bothered by my fingers. Not in all circumstances, but when we would be sitting doing something I would have a habit of fidgeting with them I guess, and it bugged the hell out of her. That bad habit magically disappeared when we divorced and she moved out of the house.
What bad habit do you have, or your spouse/family member/roommate have that makes you or them crazy? Was anything every done about it? Make it a habit to leave a comment about habits, ok?
Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman of The Napkin Dad Daily
Quote by Merrill Markoe, 1948-not dead yet, American comedian and writer
Napkin Dad Trivia – My Grandfather, Elkan Powell, was President of Encyclopedia Britannica in the 1930s.
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by Marty Coleman | Jul 27, 2011 | Bad Habits - 2011, Leo Aikman |
Nope, I haven’t dropped the ball. It’s day #3 of Bad Habit Week!
Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you cannot fulfill your habit for an extended period of time? Maybe you went backpacking and couldn’t smoke during the trek. Maybe the power went out and you couldn’t watch TV. Maybe you became unemployed and could no longer shop like you used to.
Sometimes the best thing that can happen to you is an accident of circumstances. Without you planning it you are forced to do without. What is your reaction when this happens? It might make you fidget and pace. It might make you easily irritated. But after a while that habit has less of a hold on you than you realized. You can take that hike without a cigarette. You can live without new shoes every week. You can survive without your favorite reality TV show.
So be open to trying something new, be open to adventure, not for it’s own sake, but for what it forces you to do without. And maybe in the process you will discover that you don’t need that habit after all.
Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman of The Napkin Dad Daily
Quote by Leo Aikman, 1908-1978, American journalist and speaker
Napkin Dad Trivia – I was blown up in a boat explosion and burned on 70% of my body when I was 18 years old. I spent 7 weeks in the ICU Burn Unit at Kings County Hospital, Brooklyn NY. I consider it one of the most important and positive events of my life. I have awesome scars, you should see them!
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by Marty Coleman | Jul 26, 2011 | Bad Habits - 2011, Johann Goethe |
The only way I can cope is to present day #2 of Bad Habit week!
Have you ever looked at your habits and thought about when they developed? A good many of them probably started when you were quite young. Why did they develop? One possibility is that they developed to help you cope with something in your life.
Maybe it was your parents’ alcoholism, as in my case. Maybe it was domestic abuse, or being left alone a lot. Perhaps it was an over-controlling or hypercritical parent. As a result you might have made a habit of escape, or defensiveness, or pretending. And maybe those habits served you well, maybe they really did help you cope.
But what about now? Do you still need that habit to cope? Do you still have that parent around you? Are you still bullied at school or under pressure from someone? Or is it now just a habit without a purpose?
If that is the case, maybe you don’t need it any more.
What are the habits you would like to do away with?
Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman of The Napkin Dad Daily
Quote by Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, 1749-1832, German writer
Napkin Dad trivia – I mentioned above about my parents’ alcoholism. My mother spent 3 months at an alcoholic rehab hospital in 1973. She was sober from then on until her death in 1988. My father also quit drinking around the same time (though he sometimes would fall back into it a bit, but never with the same fervor) and is still sober at age 93. I quite drinking in 1993.
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by Marty Coleman | Jul 25, 2011 | Bad Habits - 2011, Chinese Proverbs |
I am going to make a habit of this.
It’s ‘Bad Habit Week’ at the NDD!
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This could easily be called addiction week as well, but I wanted to use the word habit because it applies in more cases. Not everyone is an addict, but everyone has habits. Some can be quite debilitating and destructive so whether we call it an addiction or a habit, it still is a subject that everyone deals with at some level.
The problem with habits is that often times we don’t realize we have them until we get in a relationship. When that happens the other person is close enough often enough to see the habit in action, we can’t hide it. But if we are lucky they are also close enough to say something about it to us. It might be something as simple as leaving the top off the medicine bottle. It might be something as severe as continually hurting someone’s feelings with a facial expression and verbal response.
Even if we are lucky enough to have someone who will point out our bad habits, we still have to decide in our own brain to do something about it. And one thing is for certain, you won’t change a habit by continuing to do the habit. You must adjust. It might be a complete different direction, it might be a slight course change, but whatever it is, you have to decide to do it.
The key is to not be overwhelmed by the task. You don’t have to change your life goal by redefining a new destination, you just have to change take one small step in a new direction. It might be a decision to buy healthier food today at the grocery store. It’s not a decision to ALWAYS and FOREVER ONLY buy healthy food. It’s just a small decision today to buy healthier food. Do that one thing and you have changed your direction and that is enough. Worry about the next trip to the store when you take it, not today.
Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman of The Napkin Dad DailyQuote is a Chinese proverb
Napkin Dad Trivia – I learned to fly airplanes when I was 13 years old.
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