by Marty Coleman | Jan 7, 2019 | Decisions |
This drawing and commentary were from 5 years ago today. Ironic I choose to republish this drawing about a VERY cold day in 2014 on the warmest day of winter 2019 (so far)
Teenagers are Dumb, Adults are Dumber
As most of the US knows and feels, it’s been brutal cold all over the eastern 2/3rds of the country. We are lucky here in Oklahoma, the cold is not nearly as bad as north and east of us. Still, it’s cold enough (12 degrees this AM) that parents are fighting with their teenage kids about how to dress to go outdoors.
I went to Wal-Mart yesterday. In cold weather it’s fun to make a game of finding the most inappropriately dressed person. Yesterday, when it was all of 14 degrees with a strong wind that person was a teenage girl walking out of the store in a simple long sleeve t-shirt and shorts. Her shoes were Tom’s type slip-on canvas shoes. No socks. She was the winner UNTIL a second later I spotted her father walking behind her. He was in a t-shirt and shorts. It wasn’t hard to figure out where she got her common sense and attitude of preparedness. Did they make it home ok? Probably so. His poor decision for himself and his daughter (yes, he was responsible for how she dressed) probably did not end poorly. But would they have made it home ok if they had gotten into a wreck on the icy streets, going off into a culvert and disappearing from the road? Maybe not. In which case, that poor decision could have ended badly.
Another Sort of Poor Decision
Being underdressed in the cold is dumb, but there are much worse decisions people make. Decisions with HUGE life altering consequences. But even those don’t have to end poorly. For example, you have unprotected sex with someone and get pregnant, or get them pregnant. That was a poor decision. But that poor decision doesn’t mean the child’s life is doomed. That life (and your life) can be a great one. Your relationship with the father or mother can be good, even if you don’t stay together. You can arrange your lifestyle so the child is raised safe and happy. You can build a life for your family that is positive and good. It might take more work than it would have otherwise, but it can be done.
The Kid at the Bus Stop
If I see someone at the top of a cliff, about to go over, I am going to yell and scream and do whatever I can to stop them. But if they have already fallen off the cliff and are at the bottom, I am not going to yell and scream. I am not going to tell them they shouldn’t have been so close to the edge. I am going to help them up, tend to their wounds and help them recover. Then, and only then, we might have a discussion on how to avoid that cliff in the future.
If you have made poor decisions, resolve to not have them end poorly. If you are a witness to poor decisions others make, do what you can to help them have the end be rich, not poor.
_____________________
Drawing by Marty Coleman
Quote by my cool Son-in-Law and father of my granddaughter, Patrick Evans
_____________________
Like this:
Like Loading...
by Marty Coleman | Apr 23, 2013 | Decisions, Joseph Joubert |
Hurricane
In 1971 we bought a 47 ft houseboat. We lived in Darien, Connecticut and had it at a marina on the Long Island Sound in a town nearby. We spent the next few summers out at the far eastern tip of Long Island, in the town of Montauk, New York, at Captain’s Marina.
Floating
In the summer of ’72 Hurricane Agnes bore down on Long Island. It was close to a direct hit as those things go. The tidal storm surge made Montauk Lake rollick violently. Many of the boat owners on the floating docks decided they would ride out the storm in the middle of the lake instead of risking having their boat get out of synch with the dock and smash down on top of it, ruining the hull, propellers, etc.
Tightening
Our boat was tied up to a rigid dock, not floating with the tide. At first we thought that meant we would be safe as long as we kept the bumpers between us and the dock. it was unlikely we would go up and down so much as to put the boat in danger. What we didn’t realize was that once the boat started going up and down, even mildly, the ropes tying us to the dock were getting tighter and tighter around the cleats.
Untying
As the storm got more violent one of the cleats tore out of the boat. At that point we made the decision that it would be best if we waited it out in the middle of the lake instead of at the marina. We tried to untie the remaining ropes but it was hopeless. They were way too tight, and even if it were still possible to untie the ropes, the violent moving of the boat made it very dangerous for fingers to work with rope that may snap tight at any moment. Our only choice at that point was to take an ax to the remaining rope and cut ourselves clear. It was quite a dangerous scene making that happen.
Cutting
We were able to cut 2 other ropes and had one remaining rope at the bow. But because that was the only remaining rope tethering us to the dock and the wind was blowing us away from the dock we were not in immediate danger of hitting anything. Getting up on the bow in the storm to chop away at the rope was considered too dangerous and we chose to ride it out with that one tether, as long as the wind didn’t start to bring us back to the dock, which it didn’t.
Decisions
After the storm passed we saw almost all the boats that remained at the floating docks had been damaged to some degree. Those that had gotten free had some seasick captains but were not damaged at the end of it all. Our boat only suffered the one cleat having been pulled out and some chop marks on the teak walkway.
We learned an important lesson that day. You can’t wait until the storm is at its worst to make your decision. You need to figure it out in advance, just as in life.
_________________
Drawing and life story by Marty Coleman, who a year later got blown up on that same boat.
Quote by Joseph Joubert, 1754-1824, French moralist and essayist
_________________
Like this:
Like Loading...
by Marty Coleman | Dec 2, 2010 | Decisions, Dietrich Bonhoeffer |
And what if you are on the wrong train? You need to relax, do the best you can while on the train and get off at the next station. BUT before that you have to be self-aware enough to know you are on the wrong train to begin with.
How do you know that?
Maybe you are not happy, not healthy, not satisfied? Yes, those could be signs you need to get off the train. But what if you were not happy, not healthy and not satisfied before you got on the train. Maybe it’s not the wrong train, you just have a bad attitude and mind set?
It gets back to what I mentioned yesterday. You have to know your self. And to do that you need to be honest. As the quote yesterday says, it’s not just hard to do, it’s inconvenient as well. It isn’t easy facing and exploring who you really are, but it is ultimately worth it, just as exercise is ultimately worth it.
So before you jump off the train, make sure it’s the train that is going in the wrong direction and not you that is thinking and acting in the wrong direction.
It’s just another example that to be happy you have to ‘untie the NOT’!
……………………………………………………………………………………………………..
Quote by Dietrich Bonhoeffer (from his book ‘The Way of Freedom’), 1906-1945, German Lutheran pastor and author. He is worth reading about and remembering, especially if you are Christian.
Like this:
Like Loading...
