Building Character – Failure Week #5

by | Aug 26, 2011 | Failure - 2011, Marty Coleman | 0 comments

Hey all, got some GREAT news last night!
I am going to be a speaker at BlogWorld LA!  The dates are November 3-5, 2011. I am not sure of my slot yet, but I will let you know. If you are going to be there you can bet I would love to have you at my presentation and meet you!  I will give more information as I know it myself.

Did I fail to mention how much I love being The Napkin Dad?  That’s probably because it’s day #5 of Failure Week.

 

All this week I have been reading ‘failure’ quotes.  I read one Monday and all week it’s been bugging me.  It is the opposite of the what I wrote above – here it is: “Success builds character, failure reveals it.”

It bugs me because I think it’s completely backwards. In my experience it is failure that builds character, not success.  Here is why I think this:  What do you learn from success?  That you are great, smart, funny, lucky, hard working, pretty, talented, savvy, better than others?  Does knowing any of those things build your character? Hard working is probably the only one of the bunch, right?

What do you learn from failure (or catastrophe)?  That you can be wrong, dumb, unlucky, flawed?  Yes, you can learn those things. But what else can you learn?  That you are resilient, strong, persevering, diligent, humble, better than your circumstances, helpful, thoughtful, caring, selfless, patient, empathetic, intelligent?  Yes, those as well.

And what is character made up of? Is it made up of ego, looks, talent and smarts? or is it made up of resilience, empathy, strength, humility, perseverance, love and patience?

I have had a LOT of failures and catastrophes in my life; schools I got kicked out of, a failed marriage, rejection in the art and academic world and physical disasters just to name a few.  If I had not had those ‘failures’ and not gained the resulting character I now have, I would not be able to take the successes I have had in a good, positive and mature way (which I attempt to do).

Our successes reveal the character we’ve built during our failures.



Quote, drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman of The Napkin Dad Daily

The Unlived Life – Failure Week #4

by | Aug 25, 2011 | Carl Jung, Failure - 2011 | 0 comments

 ’tis day #4 of Failure Week at the NDD

Not all parents give up some grand dream as they settle down and become parents. But many do.  If you are one of those, but you moved forward and created new dreams and your children see that, then they will be emboldened to both pursue their grand dream and have the flexibility to change that dream if they have to.  Your example makes all the difference as to whether they can do that successfully.

But, if you are one who just put away the dream inside the guitar case in the attic, or in the paint brushes in the drawer, or in the hiking boots in the basement then do your children a favor and get them out, dust them off and use them.  Your children will be excited to see you once again pursuing a dream. It doesn’t have to be the same dream of a recording contract or a big gallery show or a job as a naturalist in a National Park. It just needs to be you pursuing what gives you joy.

Nothing will be better for your kids than to see you live the life you want to live.


Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman of The Napkin Dad Daily


Quote by Carl Jung, 1875-1961, Swiss psychiatrist

Contentment – Failure Week #3

by | Aug 24, 2011 | Abraham Lincoln, Failure - 2011 | 0 comments

Napkins don’t fail me now! It’s day #3 of Failure Week.

Here is a question: In the Aesop’s fable, The Tortoise and the Hare, do you think the hare was upset at having lost the race to the tortoise?  I have a feeling the hare wasn’t upset at all. I think he was ok with it.  I can see him laughing off the loss while hanging out at his favorite watering hole with the boys. 


Why? Because he had excuses ready.  He felt ill. He had a hard night.  His shorts were too tight.  He woke up on the wrong side of the burrow.  His stop watch was broken. The temperature was too hot.  The path was confusing. The turtle stepped on his foot at the start line.


It’s a fine line between allowing that you will fail on occasion and not completely beating yourself up over it and being content and lazy about your failures, using excuses and rationalizations to talk away your inability or unwillingness to meet your goal.


It’s important to be dissatisfied with a failure because the feeling of dissatisfaction is what will cause you to evaluate what really happened. And evaluating what happened is how you can avoid the same mistake and improve the next time out.  There might be reasons for the failure and you need to know them, but there should be no excuses.  Excuses never help you grow.



Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman of The Napkin Dad Daily

Quote by Abraham Lincoln, 1809-1865, 16th President of the United States


Past and Future – Failure Week #2

by | Aug 23, 2011 | Failure - 2011, Li Ao | 0 comments

I fail to see the humor in it being only day #2 of Failure Week at the NDD!

There is a certain mindset I have come across again and again in my life. It’s the mindset that says, because my past has this negative thing in it I can expect to have more of it in the future.

It might be the woman who says, “My boyfriends treated me badly, so I am sure that is how all men treat all women and I can expect more of it.”  Or it might be the man who says, “I always got overlooked at home and at work in the past so my type of personality will always be overlooked by others into the future.”

They are the people illustrated at the bottom of the napkin drawing.  They are much more likely to fail at achieving their positive desires because they are defining their future by their negative past.

Is that what you do?  If so, try defining your future by your imagination instead of by your history.

Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman of The Napkin Dad Daily

Quote by Li Ao, 1935 – not dead yet, Chinese politician


Easy Success – Failure Week #1

by | Aug 22, 2011 | Failure - 2011, Tamara Lebak | 0 comments

I think I FAILED to mention that it’s FAILURE WEEK at the NDD.

 

Yesterday our Associate Pastor at All Souls Unitarian Church here in Tulsa, Rev. Tamara Lebak, gave a sermon titled ‘Faith in Failure’. She had a lot of great things to say about it and this is one of her best lines.

It got me thinking about failure in general and how impossible it is to avoid it. It’s also unwise to avoid it. I don’t mean one should fail on purpose, or just give up trying to do a great job or achieve excellent results in what one does.  I just mean that the pursuit of success (which is not a bad goal) without the recognition that failure is a possibility is basically not living in the real world.  Recognizing that something happens doesn’t mean you approve of it, encourage it, want it or revel in it.  It just means you understand the world you live in.

Another thing Rev. Lebak said was that if you are going from success to success it might be because your bar is set too low.  To really test who you are and what you are capable of in life, you need to have the hurdles be a challenge. And a challenge means you might hit one and tumble onto the track.  Why be on the track if you aren’t there to challenge yourself a bit, right?

Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman of The Napkin Dad Daily

Quote by Rev. Tamara Lebak