by Marty Coleman | Jan 18, 2013 | Fools - 2013 |
The sun sets on Foolish Things Week with day #4
The Simplicity Knot
We often think of fools as being simple. But I think people act like fools when the get too complex, not too simple. We overanalyze, hesitate and stall in taking action, second guess ourselves because of all the other choices we could make. We have no effective way of deciding things and thus get lost in the minutia of what ifs. And the result is we miss opportunities, make rash decisions, make stupid mistakes. We tie simplicity in a knot and act like fools amidst the made up complexity.
The Simple Pain
Why is that? What is it that keeps us from being able to see the simple truths, the real choices, the obvious answers? Why do we insist on fooling ourselves for so much of our lives about who we are and what our lives are made of? Maybe it’s because simple equals pain. What I mean is that simple means facing a truth about ourselves. Maybe a moral failing, maybe a hope dashed for the future, maybe a character trait that sabotages us and hurts others. It’s easier to pile on layers of other things, complexities, to hide the simple truth.
The Dark Forest
There is a famous quote that goes something along the lines of ‘If you want to get to the other side of pain, you have to go through it, not around it.’ I know in my own life that when I faced pain directly I moved most assuredly to healing. When I avoided it, avoided truths about myself, I simply delayed the healing. Going through pain is hard, but never getting to the other side of it is even harder.
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Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman, whose had his share.
Quote by Pete Seeger, 1919 – not dead yet, American folk singer
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Trivia question of the day
Who replaced Napoleon as the leader of France?
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by Marty Coleman | Jan 17, 2013 | Fools - 2013 |
Let this be a lesson to you, wait long enough and day 4 of ‘Foolish Things’ week will arrive!
The Right To Think
If you were online at all in the past year you know how intense many debates got about the Presidential election. I know this because I am a liberal in conservative Oklahoma. Say you like Obama and BOOM! let the debates begin! I had many very intelligent discussions with people of all political stripes. I also had completely frustrating discussions with complete fools who wouldn’t know a cogent thought if it schmacked them in the kisser. Those blithering idiots were irate, simplistic, irrational, unthinking, hateful, dumb, embarrassing and reactionary in their thoughts and words. And those were just the Democrats I agreed with! Those I disagreed with (mostly far right Republicans) who were also in the fool category were all those things and wrong at the same time.
The Right Fool
But guess what? Even among the fools I heard and read some truths. In among the paranoid conspiracies of Obama being a Muslim communist marriage hater were some bits and pieces of thoughtful ideas. Amidst the irrational hatred for Rep. Pelosi, Sen. Reid and all the other wannabe Marxist dictators were some nuggets of sensible thoughts. In between the anti-scientific, empty headed, religious zealotry were some wise insights. Of course it’s much easier to mine these brief moments of clarity out of people when they are rational, but even among the lunatic fringe the moments are there. Sometimes the fringe is right.
How To Know
How do we find what is right in amongst the toxic landfill of bad ideas poorly presented? It takes two things. One, a diminishing of your own foolishness. You must be willing to see how you might be playing the fool and retreat from it. Two, you must listen to or read entire sentences and paragraphs and pages of junk to get to it, not dissimilar to digging a mine through ton after ton of dirt and rock to find gold.
The Foolish Friend
Now, that isn’t all that necessary in a lot of cases because it is just some random knucklehead off in internetland saying whatever and really, who cares, right? But what if the fool is also my friend? What if I care about this fool? What if I am trying to find some common ground so I can sustain and nurture a friendship, or a working relationship. Then doing that digging is probably worth it. It’s how I find the part of them that is not the fool. The part that is right. And I can hope my friend is digging to find what is right in me as well. After all, isn’t that what it really takes to get along?
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Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman, who started drawing on napkins 15 years ago.
Quote by Winston Churchill, 1874-1965, British Prime Minister 1940-1945, 1951-1955
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Trivia question from yesterday:
What is the name of the literary competition (now in its 31st year) that challenges entrants to compose the opening sentence to the worst of all possible novels?
Answer: The Bulwer-Litton Fiction Contest. Named after the author of yesterday’s quote, it is a “whimsical literary competition that challenges entrants to compose the opening sentence to the worst of all possible novels.” It originated at San Jose State University in 1983 while I was going to graduate school there. Go check it out and enter if you dare!
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by Marty Coleman | Jan 16, 2013 | Fools - 2013 |
I am flattered you came back for day 2 of ‘Foolish Things’ week!
The Ego Whisperer
Beware the person whispering sweet nothings in your ear that happen to coincide with your ego’s weakness.
Overconfidence
I am reading a book right now called ‘The Social Animal – A Story of How Success Happens’. In it the author explains how much of what goes into our success or failures in life are from the unconscious realm, not the conscious. He spends a lot of time quoting and extrapolating from various academic research studies regarding people’s thinking and behavior. There is one area of the book in particular that is germaine to this quote and that is overconfidence.
Here are a few of the statistics the author, David Brooks, quotes:
- 90% of drivers believe they are above average drivers.
- 94% of college professors believe they are above average teachers.
- Golf pros believe they sink 70% of their 6 foot putts. They actually make only 54%.
- 50% of Penn State students said they would object if they heard a sexist comment in their presence. When it happened, only 16% actually objected.
- Those who scored in the bottom quartile on logic and grammar tests were the most likely to overestimate their abilities.
- When given questionnaires about their industry (to test competence), Advertising professionals thought 90% of their answers were correct. Actually, they were wrong 61% of the time. Meanwhile the computer professionals thought they got 95% correct on the questionnaire. They were wrong 80% of the time.
- 99% of all those tested (in the questionnaire mention immediately above) overestimated their success.
Inocculation
The point of these statistics is to show that we are all going to overestimate how smart and competent we are. We can all be fools about ourselves, in other words. The more self-aware we can become about where we truly are in the scheme of things the better protection we have against those who would try to manipulate us and our easily fooled egos.
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Drawing by Marty Coleman, who is 90% correct 50% of the time when 35% of the people aren’t among the 99% and 20% are among the 47%.
Quote by Edward G. Bulwer-Litton, 1803-1873, English writer and politician. He is the originator of the famous opening line for a novel, “It was a dark and stormy night.” He also came up with “The pen is mightier than the sword.”
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Trivia question of the day:
What is the name of the literary competition (now in its 31 year) that challenges entrants to compose the opening sentence to the worst of all possible novels?
Answer tomorrow
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by Marty Coleman | Jan 15, 2013 | Aleksander Fredro, Fools - 2013 |
It’s a joy to present this foolish drawing for day one of ‘What a Fool’ week!
Who is a Fool?
How do you know when someone is a fool and when they are not? Obviously not all big busted women and body building men are fools so why did I choose to show them together? Because they were fun to draw, of course. No, seriously, it’s because they are representations of those who are focused and obsessed on one shallow or dangerous thing while ignoring the larger reality they live in. They are oblivious to the high cliff they are standing on. That, to me, is the definition of a fool. And it’s not that a fool goes looking for another fool. They just go looking for someone like them, and that turns out to be another fool.
What a Mirror Doesn’t Show
You might think that me of all people would be the one to say, ‘Don’t worry about what others think of you.’ But the truth is we all have a bit of the fool in us. How self-aware we are of those foolish parts is the key to moderating them so they don’t send us over a cliff of some sort. One of the best ways to be self-aware is to be other-aware. What I mean is we often don’t see ourselves from but one side. In the mirror we see a front view for example, we don’t see our profile. We don’t see our back in the mirror. That is why, if you have a partner, you might ask him or her to see how you look from the back. Is there a tag showing, a stain on your dress, a big patch of cat hair on your bottom? Having someone else see you helps you see yourself better.
Caring What Others Think
The same is true in your behaviors and words, not just your knit sweater. To have friends and family who you trust and who trust you to listen is really important. To have good and honest feedback in work and play is critical to growth. You hear how others see you and you can make a choice about whether what they said is important or not, whether it’s actually a fair criticism or not. And if that is the case, then what you heard from another person then becomes something you believe as well and can decide to work on from the inside. It’s part of how you see yourself now. And that means you are more self-aware than you were before. That is a good thing.
Overdose of Other
Of course, a big problem in many societies is that there is too much attention paid to what others think. Your life becomes all about satisfying the expectations of others. You must be this way, you must believe this, you must respond like this, you must wear this, and for God’s sake, you must NOT wear that! And if you don’t, you are shunned and bullied and made fun of. And as hard and scary as it is to withstand that and decide for yourself if you do or do not want to do, believe, respond, wear this or that, it is truly the only way to ensure you don’t become that other sort of fool, the fool who is so other-aware that they cease to have a self to be self-aware about.
Taking a Stand
It is much better to take your stand as early as you can, with courage, with grace, with forgiveness for the person coming at you, and most importantly, with humor and a smile. If it’s late in the game, you can still do it. It’s harder, but it’s also more rewarding to finally let the world know, this is me, and this is not. No one is a fool who does that with love in their heart.
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Drawing by Marty Coleman, who looks just like that guy.
Quote by Aleksander Fredro, 1793-1876, Polish Poet and Author
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Trivia Of The Day answered
Trivia question from last week:
If a Saint is depicted with three balls, who is he?
Answer: You know him really well, It’s SANTA CLAUS!
St. Nicholas gave 3 gold balls (or sacks of gold depending on the story version) to an impoverished father who could not afford the dowry needed to have his 3 daughters get married. Check it and other symbols for St. Nick here.
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