Valentine’s Day – updated 2017
Every day these napkins are my valentine to you who read, learn, enjoy and share them with the world
Thank you,
The Napkin Dad
Love Is The Condition – updated 2017
Yes, this is a blatantly Valentine’s Day napkin.
Compatibility matters. Mutual interests matter. Attraction matters.
But nothing matters like working for your partner’s happiness. Nothing brings
about joy like realizing that what brings your partner happiness is something
within your grasp to give.
That’s a blissful moment of love.
Drawing and commentary © 2019 Marty Coleman | napkindad.com
“Love is the condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to our own.” – Robert Heinlein, 1907-1988, American author
Loving Is Not Just Looking – updated 2017
Getting close now! Heart #9
Nothing is more exciting than feeling like you are going forward with someone you love. At the same time it’s important that you always remember that not all forward movement is in unison, some is by one person, some by the other. The important thing is to share that back with your partner…AND for you, as the partner, to care about what they care about.
If you sing in a choir and your wife doesn’t, share with her about that, let her know what it is like for you, so she can feel a part of your life. If you like to read, then share some of the stories, some of the ideas, feelings you have about what it is you read with your partner.
The best love is when two people know they are separate individuals but love leaning on and helping each other to achieve both the individual and the shared goals in life. That is really so fulfilling.
Drawing and commentary © Marty Coleman
“Love is not just looking at each other, it’s looking in the same direction.” – Antoine de Saint-Exupery, 1900-1944, French author Author of ‘The Little Prince’
Did you know he died while flying a reconnaissance mission over France during WWII?
The Right To Criticize – updated 2017
A dark heart (#8) in the series today
I am not drawing this today because I feel dark or burdened in my heart. Actually the opposite is true. I am feeling some pretty good things lately about my family, my friends and myself.
I drew this today because around Valentine’s Day we always start to define who we love and why. We make decisions about who to send a card to, who to write a note to, who to ask out if you are single, how much to spend, how big a deal to make of it all with your spouse perhaps.
Kids have to decide who to give little valentine cards to at school. It’s all about figuring out who to show some love to at some level.
But this quote is deeper than that, it’s not about the cute love, it’s about the deep love. The love that allows you to criticize or question or even rail against the Gods if you have to.
I had a conversation a few years back that I still remember well. A friend mentioned that talking to this one person was hard because they weren’t sure they were going to get a trustworthy response. They needed to hear questions, doubts, ideas, criticism about what they were planning to do, but they thought this one person was simply going to agree with them, no matter what they said their course of action was going to be. They knew the heart was in the right place, but they wanted to hear more than just the pretty heart talk, they wanted the truth heart talk as that person saw it.
I appreciate those who combine both the sweet & kind with the real & true when they show me love. Sometimes more one than the other, sometimes both, sometimes only one. But I can trust that they are watching out for me and that ability to be both for me is the proof.
Drawing and commentary © Marty Coleman
“They have the right to criticize who have the heart to help.” – Abraham Lincoln, 1809-1865, 16th American President
Falling In Love – updated 2017
I am still rockin’ the ‘heart’ series ~ #7 here
The thing to remember about both of these actions, corking and uncorking, is they are deliberate. You get to choose to let your imagination out or keep it in, you choose whether to think sensibly or not. It may feel like it is something that just happens, and of course there is an element of that, but overall you choose your path in love. And that path starts with you uncorking your imagination.
If you have trouble figuring out what your imagination is, or how to tap into it, perhaps you can use this analogy: The imagination is a road you travel. There are stop signs along the road. Each stop sign is you or some other voice, telling you you can’t do something, can’t think something, someone won’t like you or your idea, you will be laughed at, you will fail, you will be hurt, you will look stupid, you aren’t smart enough, you don’t have the skills, and on and on and on.
So, the key is not to worry so much about whether you have an imagination, but to methodically come to each stop sign…and run over it!
Drawing and commentary © Marty Coleman
“Falling in love consists merely in uncorking the imagination and bottling the common sense.” – Helen Rowland, 1876-1950, American author of ‘Reflections of a Bachelor Girl’ – 1909 and ‘A Guide to Men’ – 1922
In Love – updated 2017
Back to the Heart series, #6
I don’t know what this means actually, since I don’t speak French. Ok, it’s not IN French, but it is a French proverb, which is about the same.
Someone explain it to me, ok? Or, better yet, lots of people explain it to me.
Drawing and commentary © Marty Coleman
“In love, there is always one who kisses and one who offers the cheek.” – French proverb (which I already told you).
To A Woman In Love – updated 2017
Day 5 of the Heart Series.
I have seen this to be true. They try and try and try to love and love and love. Then when that ‘too much love’ doesn’t stop the abuse or alcoholism or philandering or stupidity, they think it’s because they haven’t loved enough and the cycle starts over.
The strong woman, and in some cases the man, who can turn the corner and realize it isn’t the amount of love that is failing, it is the recipient of the love that is, will be able to get out of the situation and regain their emotional health.
Drawing and commentary © Marty Coleman
“To a woman in love, loving too much is not loving enough.” – Ms. or Mr. Anonymous
Respect Is Love – updated 2017
Day 4 in the heart series
It’s as simple as that. Without the respect, no amount of dressing up the ‘love’ to go out will make a difference.
Drawing and commentary © Marty Coleman
“Respect is love in plain clothes.” – Frankie Byrne, 1922-1993, Irish radio broadcaster, known for her ‘Dear Frankie’ advice segment for 22 years.
A Man’s Heart – updated 2017
Day 3 of a ‘Heart’ series.
Did you see the updated blog home page? I have some new links to napkin info that you might want to read some day. Check it out when you have a chance.
Drawing and commentary © Marty Coleman
“In love a man’s heart is always either exceeding the speed limit or parked in the wrong place.” – Rowland (that’s all I know)
Behold The Turtle – updated 2017
I had a couple of friends back in San Jose, California at the restaurant where I worked. They were a couple. The woman wanted the relationship to be more, while the man wasn’t able to decide what he wanted. They went out for many years. He was loyal to her, he was committed to her, he was happy with her. But he didn’t want to get married to her.
I remember sitting at the bar after a shift talking to him about it. His only reason was his fear of missing out on something. I asked what it was he might miss out on? Another woman? A career opportunity? Travel? He didn’t know. He just was worried about being boxed in and not doing what he wanted. What was it he wanted to do, I asked. He didn’t know, but he was afraid that when he did know he wouldn’t be able to do it.
My response? You are going to wake up in 10 years, not married, not having done any of the things you thought you would only be able to do alone because they turned out to be no fun to do alone. You are going to have a life that is free to do with as you please, and no impetus to live it because you have no one to share it with.
I suggested that his fear of being married had to do with an idea of what he thought marriage was suppose to be, instead of talking to his girlfriend about how they wanted to design their marriage, their love, their relationship. He was afraid based on what I thought was a lack of creativity and imagination about how to truly create what he wanted in life.
In the end, he didn’t ask her to marry him. I don’t know what became of either of them. Maybe they both found love. Maybe they are both still single. But I know that his inability to stick his neck out was keeping him from making progress in that relationship and in his life.
Drawing and commentary © Marty Coleman
“Behold the turtle. He only makes progress when he sticks his neck out.” – James Bryant Conant, 1893-1978, American Chemist, President of Harvard University 1933-1953