by Marty Coleman | Jan 9, 2019 | Optimism/Pessimism - 2012 |
I drew and published this in 2012, 7 years ago today. I like rereading these after so many years. It’s as if I get a lesson about life from myself that I didn’t know I had coming.
Are you under a pessimism cloud?
You know those beautiful days in late fall and early spring when it feels warm and wonderful when you are in the sun but have a cloud come over and all the wintery chill lays over you like a blanket? That is how I feel when I am with certain people. Pessimists tend to be that cloud. Some are consciously trying to diminish joy or happiness, but most aren’t. Most are doing nothing more than what they would consider to be normal and even prudent things. They might be bringing up possible dangers for a course of action. They might be pointing out the negative characteristics of someone in order to warn you of them. In their mind, it is helpful to be a pessimist because bad things constantly happen and we should be prepared for it.
But the pessimist usually does not accomplish his or her goal of being safer or happier by being negative. Whatever their conscious intent and reasons, the effect is to suppress joy and enthusiasm. That is what they actually accomplish.
If you happen to be with one of those people, you will also suppress your joy and enthusiasm because those are feelings you naturally want to share and you are with someone who can’t or won’t contribute in the sharing. It’s like being a fun and joyous child who is with a stern parent constantly telling them no. It’s depressing and debilitating.
The way out, it seems to me, is easy enough in one situation. You have a somewhat casual friend who is this person and you make a pretty simple and easy decision to no longer be their friend. But most situations are not that easy. It might be a closer friend, one who relies on you and you are committed to over many years. It might be a boss or a co-worker you can’t get out from under without risking too much, or it might be a spouse/partner with whom you are hopelessly entangled financially, emotionally, materially and more.
In those harder cases you will only be able to retain your joy and enthusiasm for life by either getting above the cloud, being the brighter, hotter sun that evaporates it, or by finding ways to get out from under the cloud for moments at a time. Whether it is by delving into your creative spirit, moving out into the world and connecting to others in group activities, or by choosing a non-reactive response to the pessimism.
None of those are easy choices, but staying under the cloud is much harder for your soul and will eventually destroy it.
Drawing and commentary © 2019 Marty Coleman | napkindad.com
Quote by Thomas Fuller, 1608-1661, Chaplain to Charles II
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by Marty Coleman | Jan 13, 2012 | Optimism/Pessimism - 2012 |
It’s day 6 of Optimism/Pessimism week at the NDD
Is your pessimism actually cowardice in disguise? It makes sense, since we don’t really like to face our weaknesses, nor even acknowledge we have them in many cases, that we would build a world view that turns our personal feelings of impotence, incompetence and inadequacy into ‘it’s just the way it is’. Pessimism becomes that world view. You expect failure, disappointment, calamity, dissatisfaction and any other number of negative outcomes because ‘it’s just the way it is’.
That response is much easier than saying there is something wrong with me that I could change if I set my mind to it. It’s easier than saying there are major problems in the world and I am going to do something about them. It’s easier than saying I can see through the bad things to the great things that can come from them. It’s easier than the hard work of making something happen for yourself, your business, your family.
Pessimism is laying the circumstances of your life at someone else’s door. It might be God’s door. It might be society’s door. It might be science’s door. But it isn’t your door. Optimism is realizing your circumstances are at your own door, taking them in and doing something with them.
Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman, chronic optimist.
Quote by Bernard De Voto, 1897-1955, American historian and author. They say he was pugnacious.
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by Marty Coleman | Jan 12, 2012 | Optimism/Pessimism - 2012, Oscar Wilde |
I am positive it’s day #5 of Optimism/Pessimism Week at the NDD.
My friend Marcy (who I met via Blog World, read the story below to see the irony), wrote a recent blog post titled, ‘Asking the Universe to Dance’. In it she told the story of a young fellow who introduced himself to her at a conference but never asked her the important question of ‘Are you looking to hire?’ He had the opportunity but he didn’t take it. Her point was that you have to ASK if you want something. The Universe (and the person you are talking to) does not have ESP.
I wrote the following in response to her story and then found the napkin quote a few minutes later. Because this is Optimism/Pessimism week it all seemed to fit together.
Just in case people need more reasons to ‘just ask’…In 2010 I just happen to see a tweet scroll by from someone I followed but didn’t really know from Eve. She simply said something like ‘So, what do you want?’ I was about to respond with something witty and silly but instead I decided to investigate who she was. I went to her twitter page, then to her website and found out she was a life and career coach focusing on helping creative people. So, I responded on twitter with, ‘I want two hours of your time.’
She called me that afternoon and we spent 1/2 an hour talking about how she couldn’t give 2, but would give 1 hour in a phone consultation the next day after she had time to review my work, my blog and my website.
The next day we spent 1 1/2 hours on the phone going over where I was, what steps I could take to move forward. What was essential to be fixed immediately, what could put off. How to focus on what would return good results, how to let go of distracting elements, and more.
Her request when I asked what I could do to return the favor was that I donate time to help the homeless. She didn’t want a follow up, didn’t want me to feel obligated to her. She just wanted me to help the homeless somehow.
As a result of that conversation I submitted a proposal to Social Media Tulsa to be a speaker. At that session I was heard by two women, one hired me to be a speaker at an organization’s state conference and another, Becky McCray, has become my champion and encouraged me to submit a proposal to Blog World.
As a result of my speaking at the state conference I was hired to be the keynote at their regional conference this year. As a result of speaking at Blog World I have been invited to speak at the Blog World New York event which is co-located with BookExpo NY, where you can be sure I will be asking all about getting my book published!
Are you listening for the door or complaining of the noise?
Drawing by Marty Coleman, who took typing in High School
Quote by Oscar Wilde, who did not.
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by Marty Coleman | Jan 11, 2012 | Milton Berle, Optimism/Pessimism - 2012 |
As I mentioned earlier this week my first one-person exhibition of my art work in 20 years is now up. My last one-person show was at Smith Gallery on the UC Santa Cruz campus in 1991. I moved to Oklahoma in 1994 and gave up being an exhibiting artist for a while. My first piece in a show in Oklahoma was at Apertures Gallery in 2005, 11 years after moving here.
What that means is that most of my exhibiting art life I have been a ‘could-be’. Sometimes I have been an ‘are’. For while there I thought I was a ‘has-been’ wondering about my ‘might-have-beens’. What I am glad about though is no matter what happens in the future I will never be a ‘never-was’.
There is one, and only one reason, I won’t be a ‘never-was’. Because I made the effort to make something happen. I made that effort again and again and again. I took advantage, I networked, I got things in on deadline , I paid attention and I woke up each morning willing to do it again. Most of all, more important that any other thing, is I kept doing the work. All the time, any time, I did the work.
It doesn’t matter if I spend most of my time as an ‘are’ – well known with accolades and money, or most of my time as a ‘could-be’, hoping for those things and the opportunities it brings. What matters is that I did the work. The work is what guarantees I won’t be a ‘never-was’.
Are you doing your work?
Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman, an artist with an exhibition up at Living Arts of Tulsa until Jan. 26th. You should go see it.
Quote by Milton Berle, a funny man.
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by Marty Coleman | Jan 10, 2012 | Colleen Wilcox, Optimism/Pessimism - 2012 |
Thank you to all the teachers for being the personification of optimism alive and well in the world.
Drawing and single sentence by Marty Coleman, who had a cowlick as a kid.
Quote by Colleen Wilcox
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by Marty Coleman | Jan 9, 2012 | Optimism/Pessimism - 2012, Thomas Fuller |
I was delayed a week by my exhibition opening, but we shall now continue with Optimism/Pessimism Week at the NDD!
Are you under a pessimism cloud?
You know those beautiful days in late fall and early spring when it feels warm and wonderful when you are in the sun but have a cloud come over and all the wintery chill lays over you like a blanket? That is how I feel when I am with certain people. Pessimists tend to be that cloud. Some are consciously trying to diminish joy or happiness, but most aren’t. Most are doing nothing more than what they would consider to be normal and even prudent things. They might be bringing up possible dangers for a course of action. They might be pointing out the negative characteristics of someone in order to warn you of them. In their mind, it is helpful to be a pessimist because bad things constantly happen and we should be prepared for it.
But the pessimist usually does not accomplish his or her goal of being safer or happier by being negative. Whatever their conscious intent and reasons, the effect is to suppress joy and enthusiasm. That is what they actually accomplish.
If you happen to be with one of those people, you will also suppress your joy and enthusiasm because those are feelings you naturally want to share and you are with someone who can’t or won’t contribute in the sharing. It’s like being a fun and joyous child who is with a stern parent constantly telling them no. It’s depressing and debilitating.
The way out, it seems to me, is easy enough in one situation. You have a somewhat casual friend who is this person and you make a pretty simple and easy decision to no longer be their friend. But most situations are not that easy. It might be a closer friend, one who relies on you and you are committed to over many years. It might be a boss or a co-worker you can’t get out from under without risking too much, or it might be a spouse/partner with whom you are hopelessly entangled financially, emotionally, materially and more.
In those harder cases you will only be able to retain your joy and enthusiasm for life by either getting above the cloud, being the brighter, hotter sun that evaporates it, or by finding ways to get out from under the cloud for moments at a time. Whether it is by delving into your creative spirit, moving out into the world and connecting to others in group activities, or by choosing a non-reactive response to the pessimism.
None of those are easy choices, but staying under the cloud is much harder for your soul and will eventually destroy it.
Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman, who has had 6 dogs in his life (Moses, Robbie, Vodka, Oreo, Gracie and Sadie.)
Quote by Thomas Fuller, 1608-1661, Chaplain Extraordinary to Charles II
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by Marty Coleman | Jan 3, 2012 | Optimism/Pessimism - 2012 |
And for our first series of 20twelve…it’s Day ONE of Optimism/Pessimism Week at the NDD.
I am old enough to know that many people with great ideas aren’t necessarily people with the wherewithal to turn those ideas into reality. Since I have no money to invest that has never made me a poor pessimist. But it has taught me that a great song and dance routine does not a success make. I don’t mind the song and dance, but I would want to know that the person has a track record, that I can verify, of following through on their plans.
Could they still fail? Of course. But it isn’t failure that bothers me (at least to the me with no money at stake). What bothers me is lack of effort, lack of focus, lack of follow through. I don’t like it in myself, and I don’t like it in others. I still love plenty of people with those issues, but I am not going to trust them with my money or, even more importantly, my emotional and time investment.
Have you invested in an optimist? Did it make you a pessimist? Tell us the story.
Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman, a man who can’t touch his left shoulder with the fingers on his left hand.
Quote by C. T. Jones, that’s all I know.
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