‘The woman on the Staten Island Ferry sleeping but aware I am drawing her and hoping she looks pretty.’
I did this drawing in 2003 while on my way to visit a girlfriend’s family on Staten Island, New York City. We were dating in Tulsa at the time and both happened to be in NYC at the same time while visiting our respective families. I hopped the ferry to SI to meet up with her and meet her family for the first time. It as a fun visit and very insightful to see where she was from.
Our relationship didn’t last for too much longer after that for the usual reasons, just basic incompatibility, nothing crazy or major. A few months after this trip I started dating Linda, who would eventually become my wife.
I drew the original drawing in 2003. The next time I rode the ferry was in 2018 to the start of the New York City Marathon. That sparked my memory and a few months later I searched out this and a few other drawings from that trip. In 2019 I added the color to this one.
The Orange Man Sat on his golden throne and thought for a second. Then he went out into the world and said, “IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIMEIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII”. The End
I wrote this 5 years ago after my first speaking engagement at SXSW. Still true.
SXSW
I am back from 6 days at SXSW Interactive in Austin, TX. I led a workshop then attended presentations and panels on a wide range of topics. Being there is the ultimate in complex reality. Between the overwhelming crowds and choices; the sheer logistics of eating, drinking, transporting, sleeping, and the intense focus of meeting, talking, learning, teaching, communicating, and remembering it all, it was anything but simple.
The Simplicity of Thinking Now
The only way I could keep it simple was to be focused on what was in front of me. Whether it was a person I was meeting for the first time, a slide on a screen, a lecturer, or a transportation moment, paying attention to that alone allowed it to stay as simple as it could be at the moment.
The Complexity of Thinking Not Now
Yes, I was multitasking. For example, I wanted to tweet what was being said but I also wanted to take notes. My solution? My tweets became my notes.
When I got in trouble was when I thought ahead instead of stayed with what I was doing. For example, leaving my hotel in the morning. I never forgot my badge, thank God, but I did forget my water bottles one day. Doesn’t seem like a big deal, but when water is 3.25 a bottle? It’s a big deal.
I forgot my schedule booklet one day and had to go over to registration (a long way in a big convention center) to get a new one, one not marked up with all my notes. I had left mine in the hotel bathroom when I went back in to make sure I was empty before starting my day.
Twice while at the conference I left a water or coffee behind that cost way too much to leave behind. Yes, I went back and got them each time and it added frazzlement to my day.
Less Thoughts, More Thinking
All this made me think about Simplicity. I realized I didn’t need to think less, I needed to have less thoughts. When I limited the amount of thoughts or was able to unify those thoughts into a clear thread of thinking, then I was successful in getting the most out of my time and efforts. That’s simple enough, right?
I drew the drawing and wrote the commentary 6 years ago today. Still true.
Vicious vs Kind
We in the western developed world are not usually reminded so viciously of death as they are where disease and war ravage nations with impunity.
We are also lucky in that birthdays are the kindest way of setting in front of us our own march to mortality, that we will die.
Depression vs Cake
Sound depressing? Yes and no. Yes, we will die and that thought can be a bummer. But then again no, because it also tells us that while we are alive we should eat the dang cake already! The cake may be a real cake, but it can also be a metaphorical cake.
Eat from life, take a hold of what you want, or stretch out your hand and reach for it until you can take hold. It won’t always be there, YOU won’t always be there. Don’t wait.
I drew this and wrote the commentary 2 years ago today. Still true.
Let’s consider the history of the world, shall we? What is it filled with? Good people doing terrible things. Why are they doing these terrible things? Because they don’t think they are terrible. They think they are good.
The WORST of these violators think what they are doing is good because their conscience says so. Their conscience might be in the form of GOD telling them to slaughter entire tribes. Or maybe it’s their conscience telling them it’s their superiority in intelligence or religiosity or genetics, etc. that allows them to enslave and colonize entire continents. Maybe their conscience tells them their physical strength gives them the right to own women and make them do what they want. Maybe their conscience tells them their wealth proves their worthiness to be in control over others and those others who are poor deserve their fate.
How do you avoid letting your conscience lead you astray into evil? For me, it’s by having a rules of behavior and thinking that guard against it.
Here are four actions that I practice remembering:
Being kind is more important than being right.
Knowing something to be true too quickly is not to be trusted.
Seeing the issue from the person who could be hurt’s point of view is essential.
Causing harm to a specific group of people is not my conscience acting, but my ego and my fear.
‘I Am Glad I Am An Artist’ – pen and ink on paper, 2019
This is a true story. I was in the men’s room before church and stood between to men while peeing. They were both older gentlemen (I know the drawing makes them look younger, oh well). They were talking about their retirement. I focused on what they were saying so I would remember it.
All I could think of as they talked was that I am so glad I am an artist because I don’t have to worry about retiring and having nothing to do. Artists ALWAYS have something to do.
‘What They Thought’ – pen and ink on paper, 2019
I drew these two women at a local cafe. I had the thought bubbles there for quite a while before I decided what to put in them. As I was painting the image much later I thought about how easy it is to imagine someone who is overweight thinking they are too fat and need to lose weight. But it’s not as nearly common to see a thin person and imagine they are thinking they are too skinny and need to gain weight.
It’s an assumption we make that is just another form of judgment. What’s the point of that judgment? What does it do for us?
The Anxious Parent’, pen and ink on paper, 2004 – 2019
I drew this in 2004 at Knox College where my daughter Connie was in her Freshman year. I was there for Parents Weekend and was attending a meeting on Study Abroad.
The woman was very intense and did say she was very worried about her child going abroad. I imagined her having a dream of danger and her husband calming her worries. It seemed like a nice idea to offset her obvious anxiety.
I came back to this drawing after 15 years and decided to paint it.
I drew this drawing and wrote the commentary 4 years ago today. Still true.
To Everything
As the song and bible passage goes, To everything there is a season. This has been a recent season of death for me. This isn’t a bad thing, it’s a natural thing. And no, I am not the one doing the dying, at least not in the short term. But in general I am at the age when one comes in contact with death a bit more frequently than when younger. In the past week specifically my father-in-law, Tom Reynolds, and a friend, Oren Miller, have died. A little over a month ago my Aunt Jean died. My father, Skeets Coleman, passed away less than a year ago. In addition I have a friend, Charlyn Shelton, almost die in a car wreck. On social media many of my friends have shared about their loved ones passing away as well. And so I have been thinking about death recently.
Sunny Mexico / Cold USA
Two weeks ago my wife and I took off on a vacation to Punta Mita, Mexico. It’s on the Pacific Coast, just north of Puerto Vallarta. We went with her brother and sister and their spouses. It’s the first vacation of it’s kind we have ever taken together. On the surface it seemed like we planned it pretty well. Mexico was at 78-80º every day while almost all of the US was below freezing with ice, snow, wind, sleet and general weather misery.
Winter Brings the Sweetness
But there was more to this trip than the good timing of being in warm weather while our homes were in freezing temps. There was also this: We all bought trip insurance because my wife’s father, Tom Reynolds, wasn’t doing very well. He had been battling cancer for over 12 years and it finally seemed to have got the better of him. While there was some hope, it was slim. But we made our best guess and thought it would be best to go on this trip sooner than later and so we did.
But with a day and a half to go in the vacation we got the call. He had taken a turn for the worse and was in the hospital. We did our best to figure out early flights home but it was not in the cards. That meant in spite of the situation we were going to be in Mexico one more full day, leaving the morning after that.
We had a choice to make. We could lounge around the pool and ocean, static and disconnected, giving us time to dwell on our not being able to get home, or we could go out and do something. We chose to go out and do something. We spent the day at a small beach village a few kilometers away from the resort. We ate, we bought some gifts, we walked around the town. We found a real estate office and fantasized about buying the various houses that were pictured for sale in the window of the office. We people watched. I took a lot of photos of scenes on the street.
We hadn’t forgotten about Tom, but we still had to live in our circumstances. And while we had some guilt for not being there or being able to get home right away, we also had enhanced gratitude for our lives knowing that someone we loved wasn’t far from being at the end of his. In other words, it was the winter of his life that gave a portion of sweetness to the summer of ours.
Warm Life in Winter
We did make it back on schedule and went straight to the hospital. Tom was holding his own but the overall situation wasn’t looking good. The cancer had spread to his brain, he had had seizures, his blood pressure had fallen then risen and he had contracted pneumonia. He was sedated, in no pain that we knew of, and had a ventilator doing his breathing for him.
Yesterday morning, 5 days after we returned, we got another call. His blood pressure was falling and his meds were maxed out, they couldn’t adjust for that anymore. We were told to gather. With his entire family was around him those closest to him told kind and funny stories about him. They told of his passions and eccentricities.
One of the great things about his family is they were raised by him and their mother to be musical. Linda’s sister taught music and choir in high school for decades. Linda had been an opera singer in her past and their brother had been in choirs as well. And so, as we gathered around him, they started singing his favorite hymns and some of our favorites, among others. I sang in the background or hummed along as I was able. But a lifetime of them knowing how to sing with each other came out and soft transcendent harmonies of love and beauty sent him on his mysterious way.
And then he was gone.
Warmth of Life in Summer
But we aren’t gone. We remain alive. We still eat and breathe and sleep. We still laugh. We still tell stories and wonder about things. We still worry about others. We still create and talk and love.
With a loved one’s passing or winter encasing us in cold we tend to see the negative, and it’s hard to argue with that. But ask yourself this: when do you most frequently hear admonitions to enjoy life, to embrace the joy and to live in the moment, to not let any opportunity pass by where you can let a loved one know (or a stranger for that matter) that you love them and are there beside them. Who do we hear that from the most? From one who has lost a loved one or almost lost their own life. It’s that brush with death that brings out in them the passion for life, right?
Running Life
After Tom died yesterday we lingered around the hospital until the funeral home came to get the body. We then went to lunch. After that it was time for me to go home and shortly thereafter I went to my job coaching runners. It was my first run in almost 2 weeks (I slacked off in Mexico, don’t judge). It was cold, foggy, misty and a bit windy. And I loved it. I loved it because I was alive to love it.
I drew the drawing and wrote the commentary 7 years ago today. Still true.
Original
I fancy myself a pretty good thinker. But considering almost all my napkin drawings start with a quote that I myself did not make up, it would be disingenuous of me to say I come up with all original ideas.
Unique
However, I do believe I am unique thinker. A unique thinker isn’t someone who thinks up something out of the blue. Instead it is someone who takes these ideas from others and combines them, mixes them, bakes them into a uniquely stated idea. Not necessarily a new idea, but an idea that has been thought through by one unique individual and come out the other side with something no one else can give it, the perspective and expression of that one person.
Finding Oneself
I think a lot of young people who are unformed in their own identity don’t understand what this means. I see it all the time on reality TV shows like American Idol. The judges say to the young person, ‘you have to just be yourself’ or ‘you have to put your own spin on it’ or ‘you just need to find your own voice’.
The least mature of the singers look blankly back at the judges, having no idea what it is they are talking about. They don’t know yet how to take another idea, (another song in this case) and make it their own because there is no ‘own’ there yet. They are doing their best to imitate a great singer but they don’t know yet how to become a great singer themselves.
Pride
The originality of your ideas isn’t as original as you probably think and it is not what you should have pride in. It is what should endow you with humility. How you take what is given to you from the outside and transform it into something uniquely yours, THAT is what you can have true pride in.
I drew the drawing and wrote the commentary 6 years ago today. Still true.
Signs of Life
My post yesterday showed a woman watching TV in the dark, pretty much unmotivated and inactive in life. She was leading a mediocre life and I illustrated it by showing her being idle while the world passed her by. But the truth is being idle is not necessarily a sign of mediocrity. It’s mostly a sign of nothing. It’s just something we all do. We all have times we are idle, not pursuing some grand goal. We just sit and read a light novel, or watch a funny TV show, or listen to frothy infectious pop music. If you have a drive to achieve something, a drive to be excellent at something, then that idle time is good. It is needed to rejuvenate your ideas, your creativity, your energy.
Signs of Death
But if you are living a mediocre life, a life unmotivated and without a flame of excellence then that same idleness is a killer. It is not rejuvenating you, it is burying you. It is helping you to die while you are still alive. So ask yourself – Are you taking a breather at the end of a long day? Then you are in good company, most of us like to do that. Or are you taking a breather from life? Then you might want to slap yourself awake and see if you might not want to pursue something greater than the killing mediocrity of never ending idleness.
Real Life
When I mentioned on twitter this morning that I was drawing a woman with curlers in her hair my friend and fellow running coach Theresa thought I might need some inspiration so she sent me a photo of herself in curlers. She says she sometimes will even stop at a convenience store to get something while in her curlers AND has been hit on a number of times. She says it has to do with her confidence, that she is who she is and likes it, curlers or not! I have to agree, that’s what confidence is all about!
Trivia Question from yesterday answered
Question: A man known to many as ‘The most hated man in America’ was suppose to be on the Titanic but missed the boat. Who was he and why did he miss it?
Answer: Henry Clay Frick. He was the chairman of Andrew Carnegie’s steel company and was the man in charge of the violent response to a worker’s strike in 1892 at the Homestead Steel Plant. As a result of that he became widely hated in the US. He and his wife, Adelaide, were ticketed to be aboard the Titanic but she sprained her ankle in Italy shortly before the voyage and they were not able to make the crossing.
