by Marty Coleman | Jan 5, 2016 | Anonymous, Opinions - 2016 |
Note that it does not say “Lions do not take into consideration the opinions of sheep.” It says they won’t fret unnecessarily over them. They won’t take the out of context and will not blow them up to be more important than they are.
If you listen to the blithering buffoons on talk radio, you know their job is to get people riled up and wanting to come back for more. They want ratings so they do their best to push people into extreme positions en masse. They want followers, in other words. They want sheep.
A lion (metaphoric, not actual) doesn’t need to bend to every wind of opinion or every idea espoused by someone, especially someone who is obviously under the uneducated influence of one extremity or another. A lion sets his or her own course based on intellect, education, exposure, open-mindedness and experience, all the while listening and considering other’s opinions, just not overreacting to them.
Are you a Lion?
Drawing and commentary © 2016 Marty Coleman | napkindad.com
Quote is anonymous
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by Marty Coleman | Dec 31, 2015 | Be It Resolved - 2012, Mark Twain |
Resolutions are best made regarding behaviors, not outcomes. In other words, don’t say “I will lose 25 lbs, that is an outcome. Instead say, “I will exercise 3 days a week”, or “I will reduce my meal portions by 1/3.” those are behaviors.
Drawing © 2015 Marty Coleman | napkindad.com
Quote by Mark Twain
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by Marty Coleman | Dec 29, 2015 | Travel Napkins |
Chapter One
The four women were studying for a nursing exam at Starbucks but their minds were all on Christmas.
The End
Drawing and story © 2015 Marty Coleman
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by Marty Coleman | Dec 11, 2015 | Friendship - 2015 |
That Friend Feeling
I used to think I didn’t have many friends. I used to think I was sort of like the typical male, a lone wolf sort that had friends here and there but no close friends. At least not like many of the women I know.
But then I thought back and I couldn’t remember a time when I didn’t have them. They weren’t always of the same intensity of feeling, and they weren’t always of the same frequency of interaction, but I have always had them nonetheless.
I tried to make a list of my friends over the years and realized I couldn’t always remember their names. But, I could always see their faces in my head and, more importantly, I could always remember the feeling I had being with them.
Church Friends vs Work Friends
Long ago I lived in California. I worked at a restaurant (among other places) and I went to church. I moved away and a year later came back to visit. I visited both my old workplace and my old church. It was nice seeing my church friends. But when I went to the restaurant I was REALLY excited to see my work friends. Why was that? The people at church were great. We had raised our kids together. We had done a lot of things, had a lot of conversations, been through a lot. Prayed a lot. So why was I so much more excited to see my work friends than my church friends?
The Comfort Spot
It came down to comfort. At work I was completely and utterly who I was, good and bad. My funniest, most serious, most stressed, most helpful, most sober, most drunk, most angry, most peaceful, most happy, most sad, most moral, most immoral, most ethical, most unethical, most creative, most boring. All of me was on display at that restaurant but only part of me was on display at that church.
And my work friends? They were the same. They showed every part of themselves to me. So, when I came back a year later, I yearned for that comfort of seeing those who knew me so well and still loved me. The church friends knew the best of me and love me. But the work friends knew all of me and loved me.
They were my comfort spot. They were my cushions of life.
Who are your cushions and where can they be found?
Drawing and commentary © 2015 Marty Coleman
Quote by Kimberley Blaine – Therapist, writer, blogger, brand ambassador
Kimberley (left) and her sister, Jammie
Kimberley is a friend of mine from the world of blogging and social media. She wrote the words above in a blog post many month ago and I loved it so much I stole them (sorry Kimberley!)
She is well worth following because of her incredible honesty and insight into what it takes to be a mom, a spouse, a woman, a professional and yes, a friend.
You can find her everywhere but here are a few platforms that you should take a look at:
Website – The Go-To Mom
FaceBook – Kimberley Blaine
YouTube – The Go-To Mom
Amazon – The Go-To Mom’s Parents’ Guide to Emotion Coaching Young Children
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by Marty Coleman | Dec 9, 2015 | Anonymous, Beauty - 2009, 2015 |
Everything?
Do you believe this? It can be confusing, can’t it. As an artist I like to think I have a broad yet discerning eye for beauty. I think many things are beautiful. Many people, many objects, many places. But I don’t think everything is beautiful.
But I also know that what I find beautiful is not what everyone does. And what I find ugly someone finds beautiful. All you have to do is look at style trends in clothing and makeup for women to see how different the idea of beauty can be around the world. The same is true of music. Think of how dissonant music from other lands sometimes sounds to your ear. Then realize that same music is heard as sublime in the country of origin.
There is the famous story of Tchaikovsky’s first playing of the ‘Rite of Spring’ ballet. It was thought of as so terrible it provoked an actual riot in Paris, 1913 at it’s debut. You can read the story about it here. But when it was played a year later it was met with tremendous applause. Why the radical change in response? Because the dissonance heard the first night, so screeching and grating, was no longer heard the same way a year later. The listeners were able to hear the rhythms, the harmonies, the structure the second time around. The were able to hear the beauty.
And so, while as an artist I have my ideas of beauty, I also am wise enough to know that just because I don’t think something is beautiful doesn’t mean it’s not. It just isn’t to me.
Not Everything?
So, The question should be asked, if everything is beautiful, how can something not be? My take on it is not that something isn’t beautiful. It’s that it is more than just beautiful. Beauty is but one filter through which we see the world. We also have filters of love and hate, of statistics and science. We have filters of history and time, of biology and spirit. In other words, while everything is beautiful, it is not all it is. Everything is other things as well.
Transformation
What examples can you think of that show something ugly eventually becoming something seen as beautiful? What or who do you think is beautiful? What else are they?
Drawing & commentary © 2015 Marty Coleman | napkindad.com
Quote is Anonymous
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by Marty Coleman | Dec 8, 2015 | Illustrated Short Stories |
Chapter One
Donna arrived early at the Doctor’s office with Betty, her friend, nervous about whether she would find the building, having never been in that part of town before. It made her nervous to go there because the area had the reputation of being a hot bed of gang activity. Every time she watched the news there was a report of a shooting or a drug bust or something like that in among the apartments. liquor stores and convenience stores that dotted the area.
Chapter Two
She almost backed out of going to the appointment but her friend really needed a ride and she had already backed out of helping her out earlier in the month. She didn’t really like Betty very much because she was so needy. It was always about her and her needs, never about anyone else. It irked her because she herself was needy and wouldn’t have minded a little attention being paid to her once in a while. Her husband gave her no attention unless it was as a prelude to sex. Even that attention dissolved as soon as her husband ejaculated, which usually took about 30 seconds (yes, she counted). Her kids gave her no attention, but that didn’t really bother her. She understood they were just being self-consumed teenagers. Her boss gave her no attention, which she liked for the most part. He left her alone to do her job and she did it well. She did wish for some recognition every now and then but she could live without it.
Chapter Three
She was waiting for Betty to be done when she noticed a man sitting across the aisle from her. He was older, maybe just a tad overweight, with a nice hat. He had a small book he was writing in. She wondered what he was writing about. She was reading an essay on immigration from The Atlantic Monthly on her phone and didn’t pay much attention to him. After she finished she looked up and saw him looking at her. He wasn’t looking directly at her, but at her shoes. She looked away but looked back quickly to see him looking down at his journal. He looked back up at her again, but once again, he wasn’t looking at her face, but lower. This time he seemed to be looking at her legs. She then realized he was not writing in a journal, he was drawing in a sketchbook. And he was drawing her.
Chapter Four
This made her self-conscious. She started wondering how she looked. Was her hair in place? Was she color coordinated? Then she realized her shirt was open, showing her tank top underneath. She hoped it wasn’t too low. She was always trying to find that proper line between showing off her girls just a bit (since she did like how they looked and was proud that while her friends had to have help from their favorite plastic surgeon to get theirs to look that good, hers were God given) and not wanting to look like a hootchie mama letting them all hang out.
As she looked down to check herself out she realized crumbs from the granola bar she was snacking on at landed on her chest. Should she wipe them off? They would go down into her bra if she did that, but at least she could do it quickly and quietly. Or should she pick them off like she usually would do if she were alone, not being watched? They wouldn’t get stuck in her bra that way, but she would be doing something much more conspicuous. She chose to quickly wipe them down into her bra. The man was looking down when she did it so she didn’t think he noticed.
Chapter Five
Knowing someone was drawing her also made her happy. She liked the attention, liked being looked at. It reminded her of the early days of her marriage when she would catch her husband looking at her when they went out somewhere. He always liked her face and figure, complimenting both frequently, and expressing physically that it was sometimes more than just admiration of her beauty. He had been quite the driven lover back in the early days. Those days weren’t nearly as frequent anymore, and she had accepted that as part of being in a longer marriage and in getting older.
But that didn’t mean she liked it. She felt a little thrill whenever she realized someone was admiring her, even if it wasn’t that frequent. There was a rush she felt when it happened and she was feeling that now. She wondered if her neck and chest were turning red, which it did when she felt that way. She hoped not, but then again she sort of liked that she had a signal from her body about what was happening inside show on the outside.
Having this feeling happen so randomly brought up all sort of emotions about her marriage, about her self-worth, about her compromises with family and friends (Betty being a perfect example). A switch flipped in her head and she decided she had had enough. It was a most unexpected epiphany out of the blue.
Chapter Six
She was looking down at her phone when a pair of running shoes appeared on the floor in front of her. She looked up to see the man smiling at her, about to speak. He said, “Hi, sorry to interrupt you. My wife just buzzed me to come into the Doctor’s office so I have to go but I wanted to show you the drawing I have been doing of you before I did.”
Donna looked at the drawing. It was of her with her head down looking at her phone. Her legs were crossed and sure enough, her shirt was open and a bit of cleavage was showing. She was glad it didn’t look too low. She looked up, smiled and said, “I was wondering what you were doing. At first I thought you were writing in a journal then I saw you looking at me and figured out that you were drawing. You caught me pretty good I think, thank you.”
He said, “No, thank you. I loved how still you sat, made it easy to draw you. You didn’t even uncross and recross your legs the other way, which is often what happens. Anyway, I have to go but here is my card. If you want me to send you a photo of the drawing now and when it is finished, just email me so I have your address and I will do it, ok?”
She took the card and said, “Yes, I will be sure to do that. Thank you.”
Epilogue
After she got home she went to her office and wrote out a plan. A year later she was divorced. She moved to the city she had always wanted to live in, San Francisco. She even moved to a somewhat scary part of town so she could get a good deal on a fixer-upper. She was renovating it herself. She went back to school, this time not to be an assistant to someone but to be an actual scientist, which had been her dream. She heard from Betty once in a while but no longer felt responsible for trying to solve her problems.
Four years later she emailed the man who had drawn her, asking if she could see the drawing. He sent her the finished version. She asked if he would accept a commission to do a large painted version of the drawing. He agreed and 6 months later she had it over her mantle in her remodeled home. She also bought the drawing and had it in her bedroom.
When friends came to visit they often remarked about the simple ‘slice of life, small moment in time’ feel the painting had. They liked that about it. She would smile and agree, all the while knowing not all moments in time are equal.
The End
Drawing and story © 2015 Marty Coleman | napkindad.com
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by Marty Coleman | Dec 4, 2015 | Travel Napkins |
Drawn at Starbucks after errands. What do you think they were thinking?
Here is the periscope of me doing the drawing
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by Marty Coleman | Dec 3, 2015 | Anonymous, Bad Habits - 2011 |
Near is Easy
Have you ever started something and not finished it? Of course you have. We all have. Granted, some more than others. I am probably in the middle of the pack. I finish a lot but then again there is plenty I don’t finish. Most of what I don’t finish doesn’t ever get beyond the idea stage. If you are like me, even a little bit, the enthusiasm hits hard but implementation fails as the enthusiasm wanes.
Far is Easy
The goal is always so glorious, isn’t it? We all imagine the feeling of winning, or publishing, or fame, or wealth, or a secure relationship. It’s easy to imagine that joy. It’s easy to say you want that happiness. It’s easy to say you are going to do the work to get that wealth. But imagination and saying something aren’t what makes it happen.
In Between is Hard
So how do you keep going during those long stretches where the enthusiasm has waned, the money has drained and the relationship has pained? Of course you need to have that goal in mind. You have to have hope that you can reach it. But it is more than that. The truth is you aren’t always doing something for the feeling it gives you at the moment. You are living through that feeling so that you will reach a finish line where great feelings and great achievements will come to fruition. It might be a book you write, it might be a painting you paint, it might be a relationship you develop.
Making Hard Easy
You can’t make hard easy. But you can make it easier. You make it easier by practicing habits. The habit of getting up every morning and doing 10 push ups will make getting in shape easier, no matter how hard it is. The practice of writing that email to a business connection each morning will make the hard work of networking easier, no matter how hard it is. The practice of saying (and meaning) something loving and kind to your relationship partner each morning will make it easier to build the relationship, no matter how hard it is.
In other words, you aren’t trying to make something hard into something easy. You are trying to make it easier to do something hard. Making a habit of the things that help you along that path is one way to do that.
Drawing and commentary © 2015 Marty Coleman | napkindad.com
Quote by Anonymous
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by Marty Coleman | Nov 29, 2015 | Illustrated Short Stories |
Prologue
I had just finished with a dentist appointment and came here for lunch.
Chapter One
They were outside on the patio and I sat where I could draw them. I ate and drew at the same time. After a while the woman facing me realized I was drawing her. She leaned over to say something to her friend. I continued to draw until they were about to leave. I stood and walked over to them. I held up the drawing to the woman facing me and showed it to her. She said she noticed me looking at them and wondered what I was doing. I explained who I was and what I was doing. She said she really liked it. I showed it to the other woman and she said the same thing. I told her she could see it finished at my website or if she prefer I would send her the image via email when I was done with it. I gave her my card and she gave me her email address. I said goodbye and went back to finish my lunch.
Chapter Two
It has taken me about a month, maybe more, to paint and finish the drawing. Now I am about to publish it and send her the image and the link. Will I get a response? What do you think she will say and think about it?
The End
Drawing and Story © Marty Coleman | napkindad.com
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by Marty Coleman | Nov 28, 2015 | Anonymous, Shop 'Til You Drop - 2013 |
The Naked Closet
I wonder, if closets could think, what would they say? Do you think they would be as indecisive as many woman (and men) are in deciding what to wear? Do you think they would make emotional decisions, or maybe aesthetic ones? Would they be practical, or maybe purposefully reactionary? Would they dress you with nostalgia in mind or maybe with an eye to impress the world. Would they fight you?
The Naked Human
Closets can’t think. But the idea is interesting because it illustrates so many of the reasons we dress. And for many of us, our possibilities are wider than they were 50 years ago. My father was going to wear a suit and tie to work, no discussion about it. For a night out my mother would wear a dress, no real consideration went into wearing pants. That just wasn’t going to happen. Even a trip to the market was cause to dress up, at least a little bit.
But now work clothes can, in many cases, be casual clothes. They can be fitness clothes even. And clothing designated for going out to a nice dinner can range from t-shirts (for either sex) all the way to a dress and suit and tie. That same market shopping trip? Now it can be done in pajamas.
The freedom make our choices harder, not easier. With all that freedom we have a lot more to choose from in every case.
Sort of dresser
What sort of dresser are you? Do you dress emotionally, practically, aesthetically, or maybe nostalgically?
Drawing and commentary © 2015 Marty Coleman | napkindad.com
Quote is Anonymous
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