Here are two drawings I did back in 2011 for a series on Mother’s Day. I especially like the color and simplicity of the first one.
Original Post – April 18th, 2011
Original Post – April 20th, 2011
Drawings © 2015 Marty Coleman
A friend of mine, Heather, who I used to coach and who is now a running coach herself, posted a pretty funny cartoon yesterday on Facebook. It was of a woman in a Zumba class realizing too late that she should have worn a better sports bra. I didn’t see the original cartoon I just saw the post Heather made explaining how one of her ‘friends’ on FB had reported it as offensive and it had been removed.
She was livid, as I would have been, and as all her true friends on FB were. The comments and other cartoons that were posted on that thread were hilarious. It reminded me of a drawing I did long ago in a random sketchbook so I went and found it. I had never scanned it or posted it because it had all sorts of other random sketches all around it and even overlapping it. But I decided if ever there was a time to scan it and work on it, today would be the day. So, here you go Heather, my homage to you and your great sense of humor!
Having run now for about 15 years and having coached runners for about 5 I can’t tell how many times I have wanted to suggest to a runner they might want to get a new, better sports bra. I obviously don’t know the physical discomfort and pain associated with running with a pair of breasts bouncing on my chest but I don’t need to feel it to know it’s got to hurt!
Since I don’t feel comfortable saying that to a woman I don’t know really well, I instead will do two things. One, while I talk about running gear in one of the clinics I lead I will make a general announcement to the entire group about the importance of getting fitted for a good bra. And two, I ask my female coaches to be extra alert to their female participants who they think need a better bra. I want them to talk to them about it and offer help in finding one. Now, if the person in question is a good friend of mine? I have no problem saying, “uh…you’re going to give yourself a black eye with those things, you need to get a better bra!”
Just in case you don’t think you are in this category of needing a better sports bra check out this excerpt from the online article ‘How to find the perfect Sports Bra’ from Fitness Magazine.
When we polled top bra-fitting pros for the number-one mistake women make in choosing a sports bra, they were unanimous: wearing a smaller cup and larger band than you need. Sure enough, nearly every tester whom FITNESS sent to the specialty shops Intimacy and Linda’s Bra Salon in New York City for fittings returned with a two-inch-smaller band and a larger cup size — As and double Ds alike.
Pretty amazing, right? Here is the rest of the article. You can simply google ‘sports bra fitting’ to find a slew of other articles about it.
Where I work, at Fleet Feet in Tulsa, we have dedicated apparel and bra fitting specialists and that makes it very easy for women to conveniently find the bra they need. Obviously most of you are not in Tulsa but Fleet Feet stores are around the country and if one is not close by there is a running or specialty store that can help you, you just have to look it up.
Here is the original cartoon Heather posted. It’s by Fernz Cartoons.
And here is one that was posted on the thread.
If you have other cartoons or funny stories about sports bra disasters, send them along, the Napkin Kin would love to see and read them!
Original drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman
Moms have a hard time letting go, don’t they. Some fathers do as well of course, but I don’t think it’s inaccurate to say that mothers have a harder time of it overall. But I can tell you this as a father. While it wasn’t hard to let them go off to college or adventures thousands of miles away, it is really hard to have them stay gone as the years roll on.
Add in a couple of grandkids who are far away and it makes it even harder. Granted I am talking from just one perspective but I don’t think that’s gender specific, I think it’s hard for both parents at that point.
Kids leave home all the time and no matter how hard a mother or father tries to get them to stay close, the truth is, if they really want and need to go, you want them to go. You want them to find their dreams even if it means that dream takes them away from you.
And here is the other truth. If you did make your home atmosphere pleasant, if it was filled with love, care, nurturing and freedom, then you child will want to come home. Maybe it won’t be a permanent return, but it will be a joyful and loving return nonetheless.
It’s the nature of kids to want to spread their wings. All you can do as a mother or father is give them a safe landing place when they return.
Drawing and commentary @ 2015 by Marty Coleman
Quote by Dorothy Parker, 1893-1967, American writer and wit
A number of years ago I would reserve Saturdays for posting a ‘vintage’ napkin from back when I was drawing them for my daughters and putting them in their school lunches. I did that for a number of years but eventually started putting up other content on the weekends; stories, photos, etc.
Now Throw Back Thursday is a thing and I thought I would start posting some older drawings or other things from years past on Thursdays. Of course I came up with this idea today, a Friday. But I looked back and found these photos from 6 years ago yesterday (a Thursday) and decided I would post it anyway.
Double Shot Coffee, Tulsa, OK
I had an article in the Tulsa World published about the Napkins in early 2009. The owner of Doubleshot, who knew of me because my daughter Chelsea had at one point worked there, had read the article and invited me to have a show of the napkins.
Absorbent Ideas Exhibition
The show opened on April 29th, 2009, with the reception being a few weeks later in May.
Postcard Invitation
You can see the progression in my napkin drawings by taking a look at the drawing on the postcard and the framed one below.
I look back and realize how long it’s been since I’ve had an actual exhibition of the napkins and how different they are now.
© 2015 Marty Coleman
Yep, really. I started out with a quote I was going to illustrate this morning. I started my drawing, meaning to stop at some point so I could add the quote into the drawing. But I forgot and before I knew it the drawing was too filled up for me to get the quote in.
But my mistake is to your benefit. Because you get a quiz out of it and here it is. Put your answer in a comment. And if you want, include a quote you think belongs with this drawing.
Put your answer in a comment and if you want, include a better quote you think belongs with this drawing.
I will share the answer when I post my next drawing.
Drawing and quiz by Marty Coleman
Emily took the mirror out of her purse. She was looking for blood splatter but noticed her hair instead. She didn’t like how her hair looked when it blew in the wind. Instead of looking full like she wanted, it looked straggly and thin. She couldn’t decide if it was due to the hair cut she got, which she hated, or the product she had been persuaded to buy at the salon. Whatever the reason, she didn’t like it and wanted to get back in the car as soon as possible. This wasn’t just due to her hair looking shitty, but because of the body in the middle of the road. Emily knew the road was seldom travelled but she didn’t want to take chances just in case one of those survivalist nut cases up in the backwoods came down in a tank or something.
Emily reapplied her lipstick as she drove down the mountain. She got out her mascara and added a bit to her upper lashes when she got to the one and only stop light in town. She even got a bit of blush to each cheek before the light turned green. She was hungry and Chicken King was right at the corner. She liked Chicken King because the chicken fingers were easy to eat and the straws were just the right diameter. She was particular about these things knowing that it all contributed to her looking as good as she did. People thought it was just her lucky genetics and that pissed her off. She worked hard and sacrificed to look this good. She wished people realized that.
She ate as she drove down the coastline. She wondered how long it would be until the body was found. She wondered if wild animals would find it and drag it off the road. Wouldn’t that be convenient she thought. She noticed the moon was red and thought that was very strange.
After about 3 hours of driving she stopped for gas. She put on a pair of those cheap rubber gloves that come in a box before touching the gas hose since the worst thing in the world was to be able to smell gas on her fingers after she got back in the car. She went into the convenience store to go to the bathroom but the toilet was covered in pee and she couldn’t do it. She would just have to wait. She got a pack of gum and told the teenage clerk he should have been checking the toilets more often because one had urine all over it. He looked at her blankly and said, “Someone else does that, I just take money.”
Emily got back in the car and drove away. She was upset about that encounter, realizing that it was an example of the younger generation having no initiative to make something of themselves. What had gone wrong with America anyway, she thought as she searched for another gas station.
She stopped at two more places along the way looking to pee. Both were unacceptable. One had a cracked toilet seat and she just knew it would pinch her flesh if she sat on it. As she walked towards the door she looked at the clerk, a young Mexican woman with dark blush on her cheeks and high arched eyebrows painted on, and said under her breath, “No wonder this place is in disrepair. You people are lazy.” The clerk didn’t hear what she said but did notice Emily’s red lipstick and thought it was too bold considering how dark her eyeliner was. When Emily got back in the car she looked in the rear view mirror and put a fresh coat of lipstick on. She was happy she had some style compared to that ugly clerk. “How could people want to look like that?” she whispered to herself.
The second store only had a unisex bathroom. A man emerged from it right as Emily walked up. Emily hated the idea of sitting down on the same toilet a strange man had peed in, especially as fat and ugly as that man was. She immediately turned around and stomped out. She slapped her hand on counter as she left and said to the clerk, “What the fuck is wrong with you people?” The clerk, a Korean boy about 13, didn’t understand english and had no idea what she said, only that she was mad about something. His mother was in the back room and didn’t hear anything.
She almost cried when she got back in the car after the third try because she really had to pee. But she looked in the rear view mirror, smoothed out an errant eyelash and said to herself, “I have my standards and lowering standards contributes to the downfall of society.” She had memorized that line from her “Planning For Success’ CD and repeated it to herself often. She also didn’t cry because it would have smeared her eyeliner, which had taken a long time to put on that morning.
By this time her bladder was close to bursting. She was glad she hadn’t compromised her standards but she also was getting desperate. The next place had better be acceptable or she wasn’t sure what she would do. She wasn’t holding out much hope when she walked in and saw that the clerk was a black woman. She had a big pile of what looked like black, brown and tan snake coils on top of her head. She had on a very low cut top that showed overflowing breasts. Emily wondered how someone could show that much breast and not show her nipples. “No wonder they all get pregnant so early”, she muttered to her self.
While it wasn’t pretty inside the bathroom, and that annoyed her, it was clean. She was comfortable enough to sit all the way down on the toilet and go. She felt so relieved that she actually said out loud to herself, “Now I can die happy.”
She left the bathroom and walked back into the store. As she did she noticed a young boy, maybe a teenager, standing at the counter. He was in a tan, button down shirt, khaki pants and loafers. His hair was cut in a contemporary but still traditional look. He was standing up very straight and looking straight ahead. She thought some mother was proud of that boy, he looked like he was going to do great things in life.
She smiled as walked towards him, coughing in hopes of getting his attention. Right as she did this he raised his right hand and pointed a gun at the clerk. But he heard Emily cough at that same moment and, without thinking, turned his gun toward her and pulled the trigger. Emily had enough time to widen her eyes and drop her jaw in disbelief. The bullet went straight into her open mouth, hit the back of her throat and cut right through her brain stem as it exited. Emily’s brain was able to think one final thought before she died. “My lipstick…”
The store clerk, named Edna, ran to the back of the store when the shot was fired. The boy ran after her. He tripped and fell hard on a slick patch of wet concrete on the loading dock. Edna, hiding behind the dumpster right next to where he fell grabbed a piece of wood from a pile of broken pallets and hit him on the head as hard as she could. She didn’t realize the piece of wood had a big nail sticking out of it. The nail caught the boy in the eye and he screamed in pain as she kicked the gun out of his hand.
Edna was a local hero. She was given a civilian service award by the sheriff and that made her consider studying law. She eventually earned her law degree and spent many decades representing immigrants before she retired and moved closer to her grandkids.
The boy went to prison as a juvenile, where his nickname was ‘Cyclops’. He got out when he turned 25 and moved to Alabama. Ironically he ended up being a clerk in a convenience store until his death in a car wreck at age 30.
The woman Emily murdered was found on the road where she died. Her name was Shannon and she was remembered by many in her town as a wonderful wife and mother and a dedicated volunteer at the psychiatric hospital. Her murder was never solved. Her husband of 12 years eventually remarried and moved away to Arkansas with his new bride and his 3 kids. They had a daughter together and named her Shannon.
Emily’s body stayed in the local county morgue for a month. No one claimed it and they were unable to find any relatives. She was cremated and her ashes were stored in the morgue. The cardboard box they were in was put in a supply closet during a building expansion 3 years later. During some jack hammering in the parking lot next door the box fell onto the floor and broke open. When the custodian saw the mess he swept the ashes towards the drain in the floor and washed them down. The cardboard box was thrown away.
How about a racist? She feels exalted by virtue of her inclusion in a certain race. Other races aren’t as good as her race, as proven by ‘history’. How does she sustain this belief? By ignoring the ten thousand truths that prove the ‘history’ (and thus the belief) is incomplete and wrong.
And a Sexist? He feels exalted by his status as the ‘stronger’ sex. He is bigger, faster, stronger, smarter than a woman. In addition, his religion and his tradition says it’s so. How does he sustain this belief? By ignoring the ten thousand truths that prove his religion and tradition are incomplete and wrong.
Then why do I have a person practicing Yoga in the drawing instead of a drawing of a racist or sexist?
Good question. What’s your answer?
© 2015 Marty Coleman
Quote by Alexander Pushkin, 1799-1837, Russian author and poet
“The illusion that exalts us is dearer to us than ten thousand truths”
I had a fancy schmancy quiz all figured out but it was the first time using the app and it conflicts with some ghost in the machine and was making the entire post invisible (told you it was a ghost issue).
So here’s the quiz in just plain text until I figure it out. Give your answers in the comments section, ok?
a. I should have seen their eyes glaze over.
b. I should have seen them looking at their watch or phone a number of times.
c. I should have seen them give a big sigh.
d. I should have heard them talking among themselves.
e. I should have seen them try to get a word in edgewise.
f. I Should have done all of the above.
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a. Czech b. Estonian c. Finnish d. German e. Nyanja f. Uzbek g. Haitian h. Swedish i. Russian j. Galician k. Tagalog l. Danish |
Drawing and quiz © 2015 Marty Coleman
Quote by Anonymous
Jane was eating lunch in the little bookshop bistro on Main Street. She sat reserved and composed, her hair pulled back with a nondescript band into a well mannered ponytail. She ate her soup silently, not moving her body much and never looking up. She didn’t look sad, just self-contained. Her clothing was baggy, not revealing too much of her figure and the colors were muted.
As she finished her meal a big, loud, wildly dressed man came in the bistro. He had on leather pants, fur vest, denim shirt, silver bolo tie, gold earrings, bright orange and purple cowboy boots and a big black cowboy hat. He had a big beard, his hair, part black part purple, was in a braid and he had 3 big rings on his left hand. He walked over to the woman eating her soup leaned over her and gave her a big kiss on the mouth.
She smiled and said, “Are you done shopping now?”
He said, “Yep, and you’ll be proud, I only got 3 shirts, 2 pairs of pants and one hat. Oh, and I got a new pan and some dishtowels and a plant and a new trashcan for the kitchen. But that’s all I got!”
She laughed and said, “Ok, I’m done. Let’s go.”
He scowled, “what a second, I want to find that cookbook I read about online.” He walked towards the back of the store.
She turned her head and saw me watching their interaction. She smile, rolled her eyes and said to me, “Whatchya gonna do, right? He wants what he wants and if he’s happy then our house is happy.”
He came back quickly with two books and exclaimed, “Look, I found the recipe book but also that book, ‘How to Organize Your Life and Closet’ I’ve been wanting.”
Jane got up, went up to the register and paid for the lunch and books. She said, “Ok, Willy, now we have to go home. The playoffs are on in 2 hours and I need a nap before that.” She went out the door, holding it for Willy.
She smiled and waved to me as the door closed.
Drawing and story © 2015 Marty Coleman
Here’s the drawing after it was colored but before I shaded it.
I had a completely different quote in mind this morning when I went into my studio to draw. But I saw a scary looking eye in the napkin pattern and drew the eye. That led to a fish, which led to a number of other fish, which led to them looking like they were about to attack something or someone which led to a woman on a beach covered in wounds and scars.
I didn’t intend it, much like the many things we say and do that hurt people. There is a scene in this past year’s Oscar winner for best picture, Birdman, that illustrates this perfectly. The main character is freaking out about the possibility of being humiliated by the press and the public if the play he is directing and acting in (as well as having written) turns out to suck. He asks another character, a woman he is sleeping with, “Aren’t you worried about being humiliated?” She says in response, “It won’t be the first time I’ve been humiliated.” He says, “Of course it won’t be.”
She stares at him and says, “You’re an asshole.” She walks out and he is left completely baffled, having no idea why she said that or why she is mad.
He is baffled because he had no intention to hurt her feelings. But her feelings were hurt nonetheless. It was an imagined hurt that led to a real wound. He later realizes that what he said hurt her feelings and apologizes to her. He doesn’t apologize because he intended to hurt her and he is now sorry. He apologizes because he realizes it doesn’t matter if he intended to hurt her. What matters is the effect of his words hurt her.
There are dangers in life, real scary dangers. Some we can see coming, like the severe weather we have here in Oklahoma. Some we don’t ever see coming, like an earthquake in California. And some we understand as part of the risk of everyday life, like driving a huge hunk of metal down a road, flying in a giant tube in the sky, or being in a relationship with another human. Those are real and wounds from them going wrong can be real wounds.
There is enough danger in reality, no help comes from adding imagined danger to the things that wound you.
This and all other napkins are for sale as originals or as prints. Coming soon The Napkin will be a secure ecommerce site and you will be able to buy direct. In the meanwhile, please email me at marty@napkindad.com to inquire.
Quote, drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman © 2015