Update 3/6/21 – I posted this painting on Social Media and since it was so public I thought it might be kind to find the woman I drew. I had her company email address so I went on Facebook and found someone with her name who worked at that company. I friended and messaged her, letting her know about the painting having finally been finished.
She wrote back saying she loved the painting and lo and behold, even though I had no idea when I wrote it, the thought bubble and text bubble were perfect representations of what she had been going through at the time, which was a time of great indecisiveness (I don’t know) leading up to a final bout of clarity (I know) that allowed her to break up with her BF of four years and start a new life!
‘Know Don’t Know’, Watercolor on Paper, 2021
I drew this woman at a Starbucks in Tulsa, OK in 2019 before the Covid 19 pandemic hit. I drew it on Watercolor paper instead of in my sketchbook, hoping one day to find the time to actually paint it. I finally found time in 2020-2021.
I had drawn in the two thought bubbles early on and ignored them until I was done painting. I liked the idea of her thinking one large bubble worth of thoughts and then editing it down into a smaller bubble. My original idea was she would be writing a story and I even wrote a segment of a murder mystery and it’s edited version but didn’t like the vibe of it so never wrote it in.
Finally I went with what I was thinking at the time, which was, ‘I don’t know’. Once I finished the large thought bubble it made sense to have her typing out the exact opposite of her ‘I don’t know’ doubts, just like so many of us do on a daily basis.
These portraits from 1988 and 1989 are all from my sketchbook. Most of the models were friends from work or were students I asked to model to illustrate how to draw portraits.
Student in Profile, Ballpoint pen on paper, 1989
I asked my students to use sketchbooks extensively because I wanted them to draw as often as possible. Waiting until you are in the studio makes sense for media that needs elaborate prep but drawing doesn’t. You can do it on anything anywhere.
Kathy Lay, Ballpoint pen on paper, 1989
I would demonstrate my use of a sketchbook by using them as models in the lecture portion of the class then have them do the same, using each other as models.
Sheila Gomes, ballpoint pen on paper, 1988
I wouldn’t often get very far with the drawings while they were actually posing for me, usually just a line drawing like you see in the first few drawings. But I would work on them later and show them at a later session to show how you can start with very basic lines and take off from there, even without the model being present.
Theresa Castro, ballpoint pen on paper, 1988
I taught that there is power in focus. You don’t have to complete a drawing edge to edge, as a matter of fact, leaving most of it barely sketched in often allows the focus to be where you want it.
Judy Sugg, ballpoint pen on paper, 1989
These may look pretty realistic to some but they really aren’t. They are a stylized realism, not photo-realism. I taught that an absolute likeness is not essential unless you are being paid to do that. If not, then you can and should feel free to compose and stylize as you wish. It’s how you develop your own look and style.
Kristine Hayes, ballpoint pen on paper, 1989
Individual style comes from adaptation of what is into what you want it to be. In my case I love definition, contrast and volume so I increase the lights and darks much further than they were in real life to achieve that.
Suzanna Jones, ballpoint pen on paper, 1989
In my opinion, no one needs a photographic copy of someone in a drawing. There is photography for that. The acclaim that comes from someone saying, ‘Wow, it looks just like a photograph!’ is nice, but in my opinion it’s just a gimmick unless something much deeper is being expressed (which is possible with photo-realism, I just don’t see it often).
Janet Arsenault, ballpoint pen and Prismacolor pencil on paper, 1989
And of course, my work wouldn’t be complete without adding in a cartoon image, preferably including my longest running characters, Singing Snake and Turtle.
Shrek Do you remember Shrek? The main premise of that movie was that while he was ugly he was also very kind and thoughtful, a genuine good ogre. It was a big hit precisely because it turned the ‘beauty equals goodness’ paradigm on its head. Ugly equaled goodness, not beauty. As a matter of fact, the beautiful and handsome ones in the movie were actually quite terrible.
Beautiful People The problem is that ‘beauty equals goodness’ imbues ‘beautiful people’ with an aura of goodness that they don’t necessarily have and allows them an advantage they don’t deserve. A classic and seemingly trivial example is the beautiful woman getting pulled over by a cop but being let go with a warning. In reality though there is a flip side. There are people pulled over who do not fit that beauty standard. They are not given the benefit of the doubt and let off with a warning. They may not even just be given a ticket. They may be hauled out of their car and arrested, all because they aren’t ‘attractive’.
Judgment Bias It’s combination of many things that leads a person in authority to make judgments. And obviously there are legitimate criteria by which to do so. But it could also be they are judging hair and clothing style, the make and age of their car, their race or age, their dialect or accent. If that is the case, then that judgment is based at a fundamental level on ‘beauty equals goodness’ and brings in the associated biases.
Bottom line When we have the power to judge someone, we should double check how and why that judgment is coming about. Is it due to the ‘beauty equals goodness’ bias? If so, we need to rethink.
The Hurt Bird This morning I heard a bird hit our front window. I got up from my chair and went to see if it was hurt. There was no bird but there was a hole in the snow and a light wing flapping pattern around it. It obviously had been stunned but not badly and had flown away on it’s own. If it was still there I was going to go get my work gloves and get the bird to see if I could help it. Have you ever found a hurt bird in your yard? When you pick it up you have to hold on to it tight enough that it can’t jump out and hurt itself but not so tight that you suffocate it, right?
Holding It Lightly That is a handy metaphor for questions and answers in life. I need to hold on to ideas (questions and answers are just different manifestations of an idea after all) that seem important to me, but I can’t hold on to them so tight that they can’t breathe.
Nurturing the Idea What that means with the bird is yes, there is a chance it could get away with how lightly you are holding it but there is a greater chance it won’t escape and you can nurture it back to health. When it comes to ideas this is also true. An idea grows and changes as it ages in your mind. It might become more clear, towards a more firm answer, or it might become a bit more muddied, so you have more questions about it than before (neither direction is better than the other). But the thing is, whatever the direction, you don’t know it in advance. All you know is you have to keep it alive so you can enjoy your relationship with that idea.
Living with Uncertainty And what that means is that it is good if you can live with uncertainty. If you can’t you will demand an answer to every question even if there is no answer that is true or helpful. Then you will hold on to that answer as if your life depends on it, so tight you kill it. It will no longer be alive, able to grow, mature, modify, expand. It will be dead.
Desperate Soil In religion it will lead to legalism. In politics it will lead to hyper-partisanship. In relationships it will lead to unhappiness and isolation. In all cases it will lead to desperation and both questions and answers aren’t nourished well in desperate soil. Where they grow best is in free, loosely packed intellectual soil, rich in nutrients and other ideas, nourished by a loving gardener who takes the time to let both the questions and answer grow into everything they are supposed to be.
The thing to talk about in motivational speaking is our power. If only we would realize our power we could stare down bullies, get that dream job, overcome disease, and end world hunger, is the message. No giant of inspirational rhetoric ever talks about not using power. And why should they, no one is going to travel or pay to listen to someone tell them to be meek or passive, right?
But here’s the truth, motivational, inspirational, or not.
Not is essential
Not is important
Not is powerful
And here is why. Because saying not is taking control. For example, saying, “I am not afraid to fail.” means you are willing to attempt something with the understanding failure is a possibility. Now, we all know the truth is you actually are most likely afraid to fail at some level. So why say it? Is it just a mind game to fool you into doing something? Yep, it is. At least at first. You aren’t actually saying you are not at all afraid to fail. You are saying that in spite of your fear you are going to attempt it anyway. The desire to succeed overcomes the fear of failure.
I am preaching to myself here of course. In my case it’s simple. “I will not have that lemon loaf from Starbucks.” is what I should have said.
What idea do you get just a bit too much pleasure out of? That is your most dangerous idea because, just like a passionate but toxic relationship, it’s the idea that is blinding you to red flags. You are so enamored of it, get so much pleasure from believing it that you forego the usual checks and balances you have on new ideas. Next thing you know you are deep into it and feel like you have invested too much to turn away. This is not true. It only has power when you hold on to it. Drop it like a bad dream and see how it’s power fades as you move away from it.
You won’t regret it.
“The average man does not get pleasure out of an idea because it is true. He thinks it is true because he gets pleasure out of it.”
She was writing the letter to her father but had a hard time saying what she wanted so she had started it 7 times.
By that time she was copying bits and pieces of the earlier attempts into the letter in the hope it would finally come together.
The first letter was too harsh. The second was too mushy. The third was too mushy. The fourth was too safe. The fifth was too pretentious and the sixth was too boring.
The seventh was turning out to be all those things and she didn’t like that so she took a break to get another cup of coffee.
As she stood in line she saw a mother roughly pull her child out of the way of a customer walking with a hot cup of tea. It reminded her of something good.
She put on her headphones and got lost in her romance novel until it was her turn to order. The barista said, “Bless you.” when she paid. It gave her a warm feeling.
While she was waiting at the end of the counter she saw an old man grab a pile of napkins as he picked up his drink with both hands. He smiled at her and said, “You can never be too careful, right?”. “Don’t I know it.” she said back with a smile.
As she settled back in her chair she heard the man behind her explain in great, minute detail the process of brewing a perfect cup of coffee to whoever he was with. She quietly chuckled and rolled her eyes.
She felt confident now of what she wanted to tell her father. She smiled as she wrote the five words and signed her given name.
In September of 2018 I went to Erie, Pennsylvania to run the Erie Marathon. It was my final effort to qualify for the 2019 Boston Marathon before the registration deadline the very next day. We had to take a short bus ride from a giant parking lot to the small start area in a nature preserve. While on the bus I met sisters Katie and Emily Funk who had flown in from out of town like I had to run the race. We had a good, if brief, conversation before we arrived at the start area and went on our way. We traded names and promised to connect on social media to see how we all did.
Katie and Emily Funk after the Erie Marathon, Sept. 9th, 2018
After the race we did indeed connect on Social Media. All 3 of us had qualified for Boston at the race and were making plans to connect again in Boston come April. However, one of the quirks of the Boston Marathon is that you can qualify and still not make it in and that is what happened to me. I missed out by 16 seconds. But the sisters made it in with time to spare and fulfilled their dream by running in the 2019 race.
Emily and Katie
Sisters, Sisters
You can see two things by the t-shirt Emily is wearing. One, they live in the neighboring states and two, they love each other a great deal and cherish the times they can get together. This was often when they were running marathons around the country together, always with the hope of qualifying for Boston.
Emily and Katie with the father, Charlie Funk, after the race
Not only are the two of them runners but so is their dad and a third sister, Jennie. Charlie Funk got the idea he wanted to run Boston when Emily went off to Boston College and he got hooked on the idea of running past BC at mile 21. He made it happen in 2008 (and 3 more years). Jennie has run Boston as well. Ever since then they have been a running family.
Painting the Relationship and the goal
Late in 2020 I got an unexpected message from Emily. She told me that they had tried for years to qualify, running 4 marathons together, each time coming up short until finally at Erie they made it happen. And now she wanted to give Katie something that would be a memento, not just of Boston, but of the entire journey they have been on together. So she contacted me hoping I might be available to create something. She sent me some photos of them together and some in action during races. She also sent me pics of the 5 medals representing the 5 races they had run.
After doing a lot of collaging and editing of the various photos I came up with an idea and executed it. I wanted to include the two of them, the 5 medals and the ribbons that held the medals. Here is the final result.
I sent it off to Emily in time for her to present it to Katie when they got together sometime after Christmas. She sent me a pic of them holding it along with all the medals. It made me feel great to have been asked and to be able to produce something that represented their love and their journey.
The world is my idea. Wow, this sounds pretty darn egotistical, doesn’t it? I mean, aren’t I just a mere dust speck in the world? Yes, I am. And that idea of who I am is MY idea of who I am. It is something I constructed in my mind out of all that I have experienced of the world. You however may think you aren’t a mere speck of dust. You might think you are the most important being on the planet. I know some people who think that actually. And that is their idea of the world and their place in it.
My point is, don’t be fooled into thinking that your idea of the world is the world. It’s not. The world is the accumulation of everyone’s understanding of it AND it is well beyond all those definitions as well. So, to be more effective on this planet hold on lightly to your idea of the world. Allow that others’ ideas might have equal validity. They might not as well. Your job is to be open to listening to what that idea is and see if you can learn something from it. Maybe what you learn is that idea is toxic and dangerous or maybe you’ll find out that idea is sublime and healthy. Either way, knowing your idea is just one of many will help you grow and expand your mind and heart.
And don’t be afraid. You aren’t obligated to take on someone else’s idea just because you listen to it.
I drew this last year at my local Starbucks in Oklahoma (before we moved to Texas). I thoroughly enjoy going to cafes and drawing the scenes I find. In this case it was 4 people working away. I got the impression they were all students but, unlike many times, I didn’t go over and introduce myself to them that I can remember.
I had received new watercolor paper as a gift earlier in the year so I brought that along with the anticipation of drawing then returning home to paint. I forgot about the drawing in the fervor of our move and didn’t bring it out again until I had a number of commissions over Christmas that I was doing in watercolor. Once they were done I wanted to continue in that medium and brought this and a few other drawings out.
This piece, and almost all my pieces, are for sale so if you are interested, let me know!
